How important is it for you to date a virgin?

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Boxme

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I have a girlfriend now and we both accept each other, warts and all.

But for a time I was single and not a virgin, and I don't think I'm the only one here.

I'm not proud of it, but I cannot undo it.

Thoughts?
 
The guy I married was and that was VERY special to me. He told me he'd had opportunities before but was glad he waited until me. My friends look at me like I'm a space alien when I've mentioned that because they can't even comprehend the thought of a guy being a virgin. However, it did not work out for us.

And I'm a bit older now :) and so I know it would probably be unrealistic to hope for that again. Still, it would be cool. But of course, I'm not in that boat anymore either so it's not like I can judge. I am, however, committed to waiting again until God sends the right guy. And hopefully soon. :)

I could live with either though--it depends on the person himself.
 
seoulsearch said:
The guy I married was and that was VERY special to me. He told me he'd had opportunities before but was glad he waited until me. My friends look at me like I'm a space alien when I've mentioned that because they can't even comprehend the thought of a guy being a virgin. However, it did not work out for us.

And I'm a bit older now :) and so I know it would probably be unrealistic to hope for that again. Still, it would be cool. But of course, I'm not in that boat anymore either so it's not like I can judge. I am, however, committed to waiting again until God sends the right guy. And hopefully soon. :)

I could live with either though--it depends on the person himself.
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It really does depend on the person.

We all have our flaws and sins.

The sad part for me, anyway, is that I lost my virginity about 2 months ago and if I had only waited a little while longer...who knows?
 
Boxme said:
It really does depend on the person.

We all have our flaws and sins.

The sad part for me, anyway, is that I lost my virginity about 2 months ago and if I had only waited a little while longer...who knows?
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I've had some mistakes in the past I definitely wish I could erase. And God forgives us... but I know what you mean.

We, unfortunately, still have to live with the consequences and what if's of our choices.

I appreciate all the honesty in your posts.
 
This one is absolutely vital to me. It is one of the few questions on my application form which, if answered incorrectly, will result in an automatic fail.

Maybe I'm immature, maybe I'm horrible, maybe I'm a nazi, but the thought of even kissing a girl who has had sex is disgusting to me.

As I get older, I am realising that the number of girls in my age range who are both Christians and virgins is incredibly small, but I will not compromise. If I can not find a girl who is both a Christian and a virgin, then I would rather be alone.
 
Virginity isn't important to me. I'm not a virgin myself. To be honest, I really don't care about the amount of sexual partners a woman has had.

The main thing for me is that she is committed to chastity and waiting 'til marriage NOW. Her sins are in the past, just like my own. If God will forgive her, yet I won't, how messed up is that?

So no, do not care if she is a virgin. Don't care if she waited before. The main thing is that she's made the decision now.
 
I just want to clarify that its not that I don't forgive people who aren't virgins. It is just my personal preference that I marry a virgin. I want sex to be something that my future wife and I have only ever done with eachother. If that makes me seem like a prude then so be it.
 
Sharp said:
This one is absolutely vital to me. It is one of the few questions on my application form which, if answered incorrectly, will result in an automatic fail.

Maybe I'm immature, maybe I'm horrible, maybe I'm a nazi, but the thought of even kissing a girl who has had sex is disgusting to me.

As I get older, I am realising that the number of girls in my age range who are both Christians and virgins is incredibly small, but I will not compromise. If I can not find a girl who is both a Christian and a virgin, then I would rather be alone.
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.....................................
 
Sharp said:
This one is absolutely vital to me. It is one of the few questions on my application form which, if answered incorrectly, will result in an automatic fail.

Maybe I'm immature, maybe I'm horrible, maybe I'm a nazi, but the thought of even kissing a girl who has had sex is disgusting to me.

As I get older, I am realising that the number of girls in my age range who are both Christians and virgins is incredibly small, but I will not compromise. If I can not find a girl who is both a Christian and a virgin, then I would rather be alone.
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I agree and I find it refreshing to see a guy that still has these convictions.
 
For me... I dont care.. virgin or not.. If god has forgiven them, then so do i. What if i said i will ONLY marry a virgin i will ONLY date a virgin, then the person god has for me comes along and because there not a virgin i dont even it a second thought... I would hate for that to happen. Who god wants me to be with is who he wants me to be with.....
 
I disagree with the notion that God 'wants' people to be with eachother. In the bible Paul says marriage should be undertaken if people can't control themselves as singles. I don't think people are destined to marry a particular man or woman, and I don't think God picks spouses for people. I believe marriage is an earthly concept, and if people are going to do it they should only do it if they are completely satisfied with every aspect of the other person. Then again, this type of attitude is probably going to see me wifeless forever lol.
 
Sharp said:
I disagree with the notion that God 'wants' people to be with eachother. In the bible Paul says marriage should be undertaken if people can't control themselves as singles. I don't think people are destined to marry a particular man or woman, and I don't think God picks spouses for people. I believe marriage is an earthly concept, and if people are going to do it they should only do it if they are completely satisfied with every aspect of the other person. Then again, this type of attitude is probably going to see me wifeless forever lol.
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I agree, after these two posts, i can clearly see you will be wifeless forever.
 
Sharp said:
I disagree with the notion that God 'wants' people to be with eachother. In the bible Paul says marriage should be undertaken if people can't control themselves as singles. I don't think people are destined to marry a particular man or woman, and I don't think God picks spouses for people. I believe marriage is an earthly concept, and if people are going to do it they should only do it if they are completely satisfied with every aspect of the other person. Then again, this type of attitude is probably going to see me wifeless forever lol.
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I agree with you until you got to "every aspect of the other person." I don't know what you're criteria are but for someone to fit every last one of them is probably asking a lot. The big ones like being a Christian are non negotiable but some of the more frivolous ones may keep you single for a long time.
 
Sharp said:
I disagree with the notion that God 'wants' people to be with eachother. In the bible Paul says marriage should be undertaken if people can't control themselves as singles. I don't think people are destined to marry a particular man or woman, and I don't think God picks spouses for people. I believe marriage is an earthly concept, and if people are going to do it they should only do it if they are completely satisfied with every aspect of the other person. Then again, this type of attitude is probably going to see me wifeless forever lol.
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I think I disagree with this sentiment, based on Genesis 2:18-25 (specifically 24). This passage leads me to believe that marriage, as well as lifelong chastity for some people, is part of God's plan, too.

I don't know, Sharp, it seems to me you're making an idol of virginity. Maybe I'm wrong, could you explain further what you mean by "personal preference" that you marry a virgin?

Also, you say you forgive them, but not enough to marry them. What if God forgave you, but not enough to be with you for eternity? Scary thought, eh?
 
I would like my husband to be a virgin, but if the man God brings into my life isn't I wouldn't turn him away. We all have pasts.
 
Sharp said:
I disagree with the notion that God 'wants' people to be with eachother. In the bible Paul says marriage should be undertaken if people can't control themselves as singles. I don't think people are destined to marry a particular man or woman, and I don't think God picks spouses for people. I believe marriage is an earthly concept, and if people are going to do it they should only do it if they are completely satisfied with every aspect of the other person. Then again, this type of attitude is probably going to see me wifeless forever lol.
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I respectfully dissagree with your deduction that marriage is an *earthly concept*. God created Eve for Adam....and gave the *instructions* if you will about wives and husbands etc. Marriage was not created by man....it is a Godly gift.
 
Sharp said:
This one is absolutely vital to me. It is one of the few questions on my application form which, if answered incorrectly, will result in an automatic fail.

Maybe I'm immature, maybe I'm horrible, maybe I'm a nazi, but the thought of even kissing a girl who has had sex is disgusting to me.

As I get older, I am realising that the number of girls in my age range who are both Christians and virgins is incredibly small, but I will not compromise. If I can not find a girl who is both a Christian and a virgin, then I would rather be alone.
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I find it disgusting to kiss anyone who has ever kissed anyone else. I also find it disgusting to touch someone that has touched a paper product, Such as cups, bowls, toilet paper, paper towels... even plastic wear like spoons or forks.....
 
God sees them as new when they repent............so do I............nuff said ;)
 
You're right without a doubt, but I just want to add this to the whole discussion. People seem to say that it's okay to have "preferences." People usually are okay with someone having to have "chemistry" or wanting someone taller or shorter as well as various other external features that have no bearing on one's soul or character.

We don't scoff when someone wants a partner who has a similar personality, or someone who wants kids, etc. etc. I understand this is a touchy subject for many, but I don't think it's at all unreasonable then to prefer someone who has saved themselves for marriage. That's not saying that those who are virgins are "better" that's not saying that those who are not virgins are condemned, that's a preference and a preference based on more than frivolity.

For example, I don't want to marry a man who already has kids. Is that unreasonable? I don't think so. I also want to be someone's first and only wife. I don't think that's unreasonable. I'm not condemning, I'm not judging, I'm choosing someone to spend the rest of my life with.
 
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