Its about having a place to release. Doesn't mean you don't work on the issue. But while dealing with stress you need to take care of yourself. Often the partner is ignoring your needs. So self care
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I guess we all need to find God in whatever it is that we need to find God in. The scripture tells us that God will not test us beyond what we are able to cope with. I am sure we would all like lots of money, lots of friends, lots of activity we enjoy, a big house full of the latest gadgets, expensive holidays, a job that pays heaps, and kids that always do as they are told 
and a road to heaven on a slow boat to china. What you might call mixed metaphors.
We can have all that if we don't want to grow spiritually. To achieve that we need trials and testings. There is a saying that I never get lost as everyone tells me where to go. How many people like being told where to go? Not many I bet.
One of the reasons why the world is so screwed up is because it is an offence to offend someone. What they haven't realised is that you don't give offence, you take offence. My reaction to what is said is determined by how I deal with it. If I get offended all hell is let loose. If I am not offended que sera sera.
Acts 24:16 And herein do I exercise myself, to have always a conscience void of offence toward God, and toward men.
and a road to heaven on a slow boat to china. What you might call mixed metaphors. We can have all that if we don't want to grow spiritually. To achieve that we need trials and testings. There is a saying that I never get lost as everyone tells me where to go. How many people like being told where to go? Not many I bet.
One of the reasons why the world is so screwed up is because it is an offence to offend someone. What they haven't realised is that you don't give offence, you take offence. My reaction to what is said is determined by how I deal with it. If I get offended all hell is let loose. If I am not offended que sera sera.
Acts 24:16 And herein do I exercise myself, to have always a conscience void of offence toward God, and toward men.
Yur post made me think and ask the question why are we lonely? I have a feeling that a lot of it emanates from our attachment to things, especially things electronic which means talking to ourselves a lot of the time.
When I was a kid there were no gadgets to play with. You either made your own amusement or related to friends. I lived opposite an oval and in the summer after school I would go over there and join a game of cricket that was always happening and in the winter a game of soccer.
If yu didn't feel like sport there was always the pond when you could indulge in checking out the pond life and when I was older and got my first racing bike I used to ride around the village.
do the married couples with kids not get babysitters/aunties/uncles/grandparents/godparents in from time to time to help out. Dont be afraid to accept help and make time to get away and work on your marriage.
Go on a weekend retreat together or something. Do something special for your anniversary. I would have thought couples would at least do something together once a year to mark the day they got married.
if you got married in church, I wonder, is your church fellowship helping you out to keep your marriage strong. Cos isnt that what its meant to do? if you are too in each others faces that you are getting sick of each other, sometimes a retreat away from each other is in order, thats why a lot of churches seem to have womens only retreats and groups and mens only things.
Go on a weekend retreat together or something. Do something special for your anniversary. I would have thought couples would at least do something together once a year to mark the day they got married.
if you got married in church, I wonder, is your church fellowship helping you out to keep your marriage strong. Cos isnt that what its meant to do? if you are too in each others faces that you are getting sick of each other, sometimes a retreat away from each other is in order, thats why a lot of churches seem to have womens only retreats and groups and mens only things.
Being alone is crushing.
Probably top of a human's list of basic needs is company.
Why do you think solitary confinement exists in prisons.
I saw a documentary once where baby rhinos left on their own would die from stress.
But baby rhinos with a sheep for company got on just fine.
"Why do you think solitary confinement exists in prisons. "
Solitary exists when the inmate demonstrates they cannot safely exist with others.
Corrections doesn't punish, the courts punish, corrections carries out the wishes of the courts.
Alcoholics also have trouble existing with others.
Alcohol isn't the main problem with alcoholics but becomes the problem that needs to be addressed before the original deep, underlying problem can be treated.
Solitary exists when the inmate demonstrates they cannot safely exist with others.
Corrections doesn't punish, the courts punish, corrections carries out the wishes of the courts.
Alcoholics also have trouble existing with others.
Alcohol isn't the main problem with alcoholics but becomes the problem that needs to be addressed before the original deep, underlying problem can be treated.
Keep being busy, preaching the gospel. The laborers are few and harvest is enormous.
And in vital, personal relationship with Jesus who indwells the believer who is born again and Spirit filled.
It is then we cannot be "lonely" for we are never "alone".
j
Jesus was clear that in these days many would have "an outward form of godliness, denying the power", from that springs "loneliness".
It is then we cannot be "lonely" for we are never "alone".
j
Jesus was clear that in these days many would have "an outward form of godliness, denying the power", from that springs "loneliness".
Do I qualify? I was married for 9 years and I lived alone for many years. I've shared a house with a friend for the last 10 years or so.
A lot of people think that marriage is going to solve all their problems. It solves some but introduces others. A good marriage is wonderful, but there will always be problems to overcome. We are all different. It's how we work through those differences that make or break the marriage. Those who are born again have a much better chance of enduring, because we have the Lord Jesus to guide us through the minefields - if we ask Him.
The problem with being single, especially if your not involved with others, is that you are too self absorbed. That's one of the worst things about COVID restrictions. Focusing on self is never healthy. However, unrealistic expectations, especially women's expectations of men, lead to disappointment in relationships and is a leading cause of divorce. Men also have to come to terms with a change of lifestyle, especially when kids come along. That can produce a feeling of being shut out of the relationship, more so when the children are very young.
Women can suffer a similar sense when their husband's job is demanding. Men need to ensure that their wives don't feel that they are less important than the job. In a work world that demands 100% commitment 100% of the time, that can be very difficult.
Stay single or marry? For most people, marriage is right and good. We just need to ensure that we have a good relationship with Jesus and not expect too much from our spouse. Let Lord Jesus be the glue that holds it all together. If you want to stay single, that's OK. Make sure that you do not become a hermit. The church is a body. We are all interdependent.
I know what you mean. I was like that for some years. I was born again, but I did not really know God. We have to swallow our pride, stomp on our rebellion, lay aside our own thoughts and feelings and ask God to forgive us for our presumption. Get to know God. Use the time and the trouble to draw near to God. My friend and mentor, now passed away, gave me this advice: "When you are in trouble, run to God, don't run away from Him."
Psalm 139 was my comfort for many years. God knows us, all our terrible and faithless thoughts, our confusion and fears. He loves us anyway. I had to come to the place where I just decided to trust God no matter what. I've had hard times. I was divorced. I did not see my children for 15 years. They were in primary school when my ex decided to hide away.
If it were not for the love, mercy and grace of God, I would not be here. I could not handle the loss of my kids and I was suicidal. The Lord got me through. Now I am secure in His love. Life still has challenges, but I know God is on my side. He's not let me down ever. I've let Him down countless times. He's never left me or forsaken me.
Theres a passage in the Bible that talks about being married, not to other people, but to the land.
I think if people dont have this connection to the land, and think they can exist without it, they are building castles in the air. I mean sure it might be your thing to blast off into outerspace and go to the moon, but it cant support life for long!
At some point one needs to make a commitment to the land to look after it and nurture it, because ultimately it has all the resources God has put there to sustain us.
But some people go about land ownership like they want to exploit and rape it. This happened with Israel. God had promised them this wonderful piece of land, but they abused it. So they were exiled. And that meant the people as a nation had lost their homeland, and it meant they were lonely and had nowhere to go. The wandering Jew was doomed to wander. Often in the Bible it talks about how Israel and Judah were like adulterers. They were meant to marry to the promised land but had affairs with other lands.
I think if people dont have this connection to the land, and think they can exist without it, they are building castles in the air. I mean sure it might be your thing to blast off into outerspace and go to the moon, but it cant support life for long!
At some point one needs to make a commitment to the land to look after it and nurture it, because ultimately it has all the resources God has put there to sustain us.
But some people go about land ownership like they want to exploit and rape it. This happened with Israel. God had promised them this wonderful piece of land, but they abused it. So they were exiled. And that meant the people as a nation had lost their homeland, and it meant they were lonely and had nowhere to go. The wandering Jew was doomed to wander. Often in the Bible it talks about how Israel and Judah were like adulterers. They were meant to marry to the promised land but had affairs with other lands.
Being lonely while married is like being trapped. At least loneiy single people have a hope of being be freed from what makes them lonely.
Being lonely while married would be like a prison. I agree that it would be better to be lonely while single rather than lonely while married.
We are not called to bondage in those cases, though it must be the unbeliever who leaves (or is let go) , rather than the believer leaving it seems. Not sure how that one works, I wouldnt like to be a judge in a divorce case, personally.
I have heard of some marriages where when the spouse dies, the widow only then starts really living HER life.
I have heard of some marriages where when the spouse dies, the widow only then starts really living HER life.
I would love to offer my words of wisdom on this topic as I meet the requirement that you specified. Before I do, I would like to ask you a few questions. 1. Are you married or single?
2. If married, how is your communication with your husband?
3. How is your relationship with your family ( parents, siblings, children if any, aunts, uncles, cousins ), and friends?
4. How is your relationship with God?
5. How would you define "loneliness"?
I'm not trying to be nosey as I or all CC members will not know you personally so that you can be open and let it all out. Me, personally, I just like to help people who struggle with their problems by offering my perspective of the situation as well as a possible rational solution.
Loneliness is what it is, an emotion felt when coping with life " alone". Yes, God is forever with us spiritually, but humans desire connection with other humans. Loneliness in marriage is often felt when communication is disrupted. Less likely to occur when the two are up-to-date on what's going on with each other. People who desire to be married are likely to feel that emotion when they are longing or can't wait for it to happen. Less likely when they are having fun with friends and family. Being married doesn't exempt a person from emotions that all humans feel. Just like becoming a Christian does not mean one never sins.
Why would anyone choose to be lonely? It's an emotion felt as a result of being disconnected. The choice is what one chooses to do with that emotion, get closer to God and people. Even if it's only one person. Why do you think people join online forums????What???
Are you serious?
There are two different dynamics of loneliness.Yes you are right about it being an emotional response a result of a disconnect...yet those emotions of feeling lonely,alone,isolated and the others emotional associated with them are not necessarily triggered by a choice..
We often do not choose our emotional reactions..
The other dynamic is naturally the actual situation we can do something about to no longer be physically,emotionally alone as it were...like you said.
This was why I responded that way to the other members previous comment that loneliness is a choice....people dont choose to be lonely although they can chose to be alone (by themselves)...which can lead or result in 'feeling isolated,alone ect'
I could be in a room full of people yet still feel alone...loneliness "at an emotional/psychological level isn't often triggered by a premeditated choice to 'feel' these things..
Thats what I was referring to with the previous member comments.
