How long have you been single?

[Lovette]

Your behavior says otherwise. You could say that all believers are called to be voluntarily celibate until they marry, but your invective against the desire to get married, the fact that you seem to have nothing better to do than sit at your computer and type out these long screeds, and just your general attitude of there's nothing you can do to change your circumstance are all far more indicative of something that you're stuck with and not so happy about. And I think your overspiritualized posturing is just that, trying to put a spiritual veneer on your situation to make yourself feel better and superior to all those other poor saps who aren't spiritual enough to be content with just God alone (though with all the one another's God put in scripture an honest person would have to wonder if God ever meant for us to be fully content to be just me and God). That's also a spinoff of purity culture and the idolization of singleness as somehow a more pure state than marriage. Neither is better than the other. It's just a matter of what God is calling you to at this point in your life. Hopefully with age and experience you will gain more wisdom and leave your foolish and angsty youth behind you.

I'm against the desire because I'm also against envy and I'm FOR contentment. Reality minus Expectation equals Happiness; Expetacion minus Reality equals Disappointment. The more unsatiated desire you have, the more agony and misery it produces. Go scroll across the highlight reels of influencers on Istagram and you'll know how true this is. Marriage relationship is at the epicenter of this category. Everytime a pastor or a Christian influencer flaunts their beautiful spouse and godly kids and opulent, perfectly arranged and decorated home, it's a sucker punch in the stomach of their audience.

Frankly speaking, if there's anything I'm "joyously comdemned to", it'd be this strange era, where everything feels like artificial, everything feels like staged, nothing feels real; and the economy is in shambles, domestic and international conflicts - aka wars and rumors of wars - are looming in, it's not far off from the 1930s, it's stressful enough for ourselves to survive, what time and resources do we have to spare for dating? For coveting other people's dinner in the restaurant? Didn't apostle Paul advise against such folly in times of distress?

 

[Lovette]

Your behavior says otherwise. You could say that all believers are called to be voluntarily celibate until they marry, but your invective against the desire to get married, the fact that you seem to have nothing better to do than sit at your computer and type out these long screeds, and just your general attitude of there's nothing you can do to change your circumstance are all far more indicative of something that you're stuck with and not so happy about. And I think your overspiritualized posturing is just that, trying to put a spiritual veneer on your situation to make yourself feel better and superior to all those other poor saps who aren't spiritual enough to be content with just God alone (though with all the one another's God put in scripture an honest person would have to wonder if God ever meant for us to be fully content to be just me and God). That's also a spinoff of purity culture and the idolization of singleness as somehow a more pure state than marriage. Neither is better than the other. It's just a matter of what God is calling you to at this point in your life. Hopefully with age and experience you will gain more wisdom and leave your foolish and angsty youth behind you.

BTW, singleness is a more pure and superior state because Paul taught so: "So then he who gives her in marriage does well, but he who does not give her in marriage does better." (1 Cor. 7:38)

 

[Lynx]

BTW, singleness is a more pure and superior state because Paul taught so: "So then he who gives her in marriage does well, but he who does not give her in marriage does better." (1 Cor. 7:38)

So you are exactly like JohnDB.

John wants to bolster his own pride. So he looks for ways to put down single people. He says single people are selfish and lazy. He claims single people have deliberately chosen to not contribute to society.

You also look for ways to put down other people so you can puff up your own pride. You vilify anybody who wants to be married. This makes you feel good about your condition as a single person.

You are just like John, only on the other side of the matrimonial coin. So instead of getting along well with somebody so like yourself, he becomes your mortal enemy.

 

[Lynx]

I don't have any...

Too late as I already did my supermarket shop today and did not include cookies.

My Dad did buy these though


View attachment 290745View attachment 290744

I can get kit kat anywhere, but I'll take those Jaffa thins... But only if they are made with real butter, not vegetable oil.

 

[Lovette]

So you are exactly like JohnDB.

John wants to bolster his own pride. So he looks for ways to put down single people. He says single people are selfish and lazy. He claims single people have deliberately chosen to not contribute to society.

You also look for ways to put down other people so you can puff up your own pride. You vilify anybody who wants to be married. This makes you feel good about your condition as a single person.

You are just like John, only on the other side of the matrimonial coin. So instead of getting along well with somebody so like yourself, he becomes your mortal enemy.

Except I'm no fear mongerer nor conspiracy theorist. Just at here to make some sense of the current circumstance, in the context of the current "distressful" and "perilous" time.

 

[RodColeman]

I'm against the desire because I'm also against envy and I'm FOR contentment. Reality minus Expectation equals Happiness; Expetacion minus Reality equals Disappointment. The more unsatiated desire you have, the more agony and misery it produces. Go scroll across the highlight reels of influencers on Istagram and you'll know how true this is. Marriage relationship is at the epicenter of this category. Everytime a pastor or a Christian influencer flaunts their beautiful spouse and godly kids and opulent, perfectly arranged and decorated home, it's a sucker punch in the stomach of their audience.

Frankly speaking, if there's anything I'm "joyously comdemned to", it'd be this strange era, where everything feels like artificial, everything feels like staged, nothing feels real; and the economy is in shambles, domestic and international conflicts - aka wars and rumors of wars - are looming in, it's not far off from the 1930s, it's stressful enough for ourselves to survive, what time and resources do we have to spare for dating? For coveting other people's dinner in the restaurant? Didn't apostle Paul advise against such folly in times of distress?

"Everytime a pastor or a Christian influencer flaunts their beautiful spouse and godly kids and opulent, perfectly arranged and decorated home, it's a sucker punch in the stomach of their audience."

Well, that depends on the person. If you're genuinely content with being single, that probably won't affect you much. If you have the desire to marry, like many normal people do, then, sure, it might provoke certain emotional reactions, but that can't be helped. We can all control our decisions and actions. We can't control the way these things make us feel. And it's OK to desire good things. I wouldn't call that a "sucker punch to the stomach."

And yes, Paul advised the church in Corinth to stay single due to their particular distress. But nowhere in that epistle does he command it. His teaching in that particular chapter is rather nuanced.

 

[Lovette]

"Everytime a pastor or a Christian influencer flaunts their beautiful spouse and godly kids and opulent, perfectly arranged and decorated home, it's a sucker punch in the stomach of their audience."

Well, that depends on the person. If you're genuinely content with being single, that probably won't affect you much. If you have the desire to marry, like many normal people do, then, sure, it might provoke certain emotional reactions, but that can't be helped. We can all control our decisions and actions. We can't control the way these things make us feel. And it's OK to desire good things. I wouldn't call that a "sucker punch to the stomach."

And yes, Paul advised the church in Corinth to stay single due to their particular distress. But nowhere in that epistle does he command it. His teaching in that particular chapter is rather nuanced.

All but wishy washy excuses for such propsperity gospel preaching.

 

[Kainos]

Or maybe it's you misreading my words, forgetting the context of this thread and this board.

You hadn't made the distinction (or at least, I hadn't seen you do so) between the real, lived experience of marriage, and those who hope to marry, but haven't found someone to marry.

A moot point now, since you've specified what you were referring to.

The sheep who marry do well, and the sheep who don't do even better, so why take exception? If you're looking for something second-rate to reprimand, unruly goats would give you plenty to complain about.

Go scroll across the highlight reels of influencers on Istagram and you'll know how true this is. Marriage relationship is at the epicenter of this category. Everytime a pastor or a Christian influencer flaunts their beautiful spouse and godly kids and opulent, perfectly arranged and decorated home, it's a sucker punch in the stomach of their audience.

Having established that remaining unmarried is considered “better” because it enables a person to devote their full time and energy to the work of the Lord, unencumbered by the earthly obligations of a spouse. I cannot help but wonder how doom-scrolling through Instagram for examples to validate one's preconceptions is a more productive use of that freedom than a bachelor(ette) who indulges in a little wedded reverie.

The irony might kill me, if idolatry and foolishness isn't the death of me.

 

[Lovette]

You hadn't made the distinction (or at least, I hadn't seen you do so) between the real, lived experience of marriage, and those who hope to marry, but haven't found someone to marry.

A moot point now, since you've specified what you were referring to.

The sheep who marry do well, and the sheep who don't do even better, so why take exception? If you're looking for something second-rate to reprimand, unruly goats would give you plenty to complain about.

I did specify that either way, it's a neutral institution. Any real, lived experience of marriage could be either good or bad, blessing or curse; and to all who hope or desire for marriage, it's nothing but the greener grass on the other side.

Having established that remaining unmarried is considered “better” because it enables a person to devote their full time and energy to the work of the Lord, unencumbered by the earthly obligations of a spouse. I cannot help but wonder how doom-scrolling through Instagram for examples to validate one's preconceptions is a more productive use of that freedom than a bachelor(ette) who indulges in a little wedded reverie.

The irony might kill me, if idolatry and foolishness isn't the death of me.

Well I can assure you that doom scrolling is not for me, but everyone around me is doing that, either on the subway, on the elevator, on the bench, in the queue, even waiting for traffic light. Singlehood may not "enables" a person to devote fully to God, but it does open their eyes to the spiritual reality, the purpose, the telos, the raison d'etre of their life beyond all the dopamine hits this world could offer. That's a pathway to an epiphany.

 

[RodColeman]

All but wishy washy excuses for such propsperity gospel preaching.

Would you say every Christian who desires marriage and takes action to pursue it is guilty of subscribing to a "prosperity gospel"? What about Christians who are making efforts to advance in their career field and other such life goals? Are those people guilty of subscribing to a "prosperity gospel"? What about Christians who are making an effort to stay healthy or lose weight? Are they guilty of that, too?

Would you say that people who desire marriage and pursue it are only after a " dopamine hit"?

 

[Lovette]

Would you say every Christian who desires marriage and takes action to pursue it is guilty of subscribing to a "prosperity gospel"? What about Christians who are making efforts to advance in their career field and other such life goals? Are those people guilty of subscribing to a "prosperity gospel"? What about Christians who are making an effort to stay healthy or lose weight? Are they guilty of that, too?

Would you say that people who desire marriage and pursue it are only after a " dopamine hit"?

"Every Christian" has to determine whether Christianity is a performative act or a relationship with God; also, whether marriage, career, weight loss and other life goals are what they get baptized for, what Christ died for, what God could use them for - or just what they themselves yearn for, out of the lust of the flesh.

 

[RodColeman]

"Every Christian" has to determine whether Christianity is a performative act or a relationship with God; also, whether marriage, career, weight loss and other life goals are what they get baptized for, what Christ died for, what God could use them for - or just what they themselves yearn for, out of the lust of the flesh.

Ah, so the desire for marriage is an example of "the lust of the flesh." Then why did God create marriage at the beginning of time, when the world was perfect? Why didn't the Law forbid marriage? Why didn't Jesus and Paul forbid marriage and condemn it as lustful and fleshly and sinful?

Also, apparently, no "true Christian" should bother with marriage, career, weight loss, etc........because that's not what Christ "died for." What?
In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul mentions people with strong desires for marriage and he says it's better for those people to marry. What he does not do is tell them that their desires for romance/marriage/sex are inherently sinful and fleshly.

You seem to think ascetism or some form of it is the Proper Christian Way. Now, I don't know if this is the case, but we can't practice self-denial in order to somehow earn God’s favor or somehow purge ourselves from sin. That's not what grace is about; no amount of austerity can earn salvation or merit God’s love (Ephesians 2:8-9) If it's simply a personal conviction, though, well, that's fine.But why push a personal conviction on everyone else as the One True Path?

I'm simply curious, but what do you make of Colossians 2:8? Or 1 Timothy 4:3?

 

[Kainos]

I did specify that either way, it's a neutral institution. Any real, lived experience of marriage could be either good or bad, blessing or curse; and to all who hope or desire for marriage, it's nothing but the greener grass on the other side.

In essence, aren’t those who are single yet hope to marry simply anticipating the unseen? In a sense, doesn’t that mirror the posture of faith itself - holding a patient, hopeful expectation for what has not yet unfolded?

Well I can assure you that doom scrolling is not for me, but everyone around me is doing that, either on the subway, on the elevator, on the bench, in the queue, even waiting for traffic light.

Navigating the world of the lost and sleeping is no child's play. Sometimes, the sheer exasperation can stir me to temptation (anger) more than a provocative woman could ever tempt me to lust.

 

[Lovette]

I'm simply curious, but what do you make of Colossians 2:8? Or 1 Timothy 4:3?

Ask yourself, are marriage, career, weight loss not "human traditions", per Col. 2:8? You keep whitewashing the "desire for marriage", even when there's nobody to marry, alright, let's talk about that - the whole "relationship escalator", from "love at the first sight" to "death do us part", from online dating to church wedding, which one of it is not human tradition, guided by philosophyies full of "empty deceit"? As for the "sinful and fleshy" part, scoff me as you wish, but if you view marriage as merely a permission to have sex, then indeed, it's absolutely sinful and fleshy. That was the Pharisees' practice in the historical context of Matt. 19, who frequently married, divorced and remarried for the sole purpose of having sex, because their "eyes and hands caused them to sin".

As for 1 Tim. 4:3, don't you want same sex "marriage", mormon "marriage" and immigration fraud "marriage" be forbidden? Or the Pharisees' sham marriage be forbidden? I don't know about you, Lord Jesus indicted them of adultery - "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.”"

 

[RodColeman]

Ask yourself, are marriage, career, weight loss not "human traditions", per Col. 2:8? You keep whitewashing the "desire for marriage", even when there's nobody to marry, alright, let's talk about that - the whole "relationship escalator", from "love at the first sight" to "death do us part", from online dating to church wedding, which one of it is not human tradition, guided by philosophyies full of "empty deceit"? As for the "sinful and fleshy" part, scoff me as you wish, but if you view marriage as merely a permission to have sex, then indeed, it's absolutely sinful and fleshy. That was the Pharisees' practice in the historical context of Matt. 19, who frequently married, divorced and remarried for the sole purpose of having sex, because their "eyes and hands caused them to sin".

As for 1 Tim. 4:3, don't you want same sex "marriage", mormon "marriage" and immigration fraud "marriage" be forbidden? Or the Pharisees' sham marriage be forbidden? I don't know about you, Lord Jesus indicted them of adultery - "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.”"

So we shouldn't bother with those other goals, either, because they're worldly traditions, too? What do you mean by "whitewashing" the desire for marriage? Why do you think the desire for marriage is such bad thing?

"If you view marriage as merely a permission to have sex, then indeed, it's absolutely sinful and fleshy." I don't view it as merely that. I doubt many other Christians do, either. But sexual desires do play a role in the the desire for marriage. Nothing wrong with that. Paul even uses strong sexual desires as an example of a good reason to get married. Unless you view 1 Corinthians 7 as Paul making concessions for Christians to sin? Hahaha.

Regarding your statement about 1 Timothy 4:3, are those examples the only possible ways that people get married? Apparently, godly and healthy Christian marriages are something you view as a myth or utopian fantasy. If that's the case, well, I suppose I understand your personal reluctance to marry. and your warnings about marriage to other Christians.

I just find these positions extreme and rather puzzling, that's all. I have no doubt about your sincerity at this point, haha.

 

[Lovette]

In essence, aren’t those who are single yet hope to marry simply anticipating the unseen? In a sense, doesn’t that mirror the posture of faith itself - holding a patient, hopeful expectation for what has not yet unfolded?

No it doesn't. It's foolish and idolatrous. If you're truly patient and hopeful, set your expectations on what the Lord's kingdom has not yet unfolded.

Navigating the world of the lost and sleeping is no child's play. Sometimes, the sheer exasperation can stir me to temptation (anger) more than a provocative woman could ever tempt me to lust.

Seeking your other half among the likes of these is truly foolish and idolatrous. Not a judgement on any of them, though.

 

[Lynx]

Ask yourself, are marriage, career, weight loss not "human traditions", per Col. 2:8? You keep whitewashing the "desire for marriage", even when there's nobody to marry, alright, let's talk about that - the whole "relationship escalator", from "love at the first sight" to "death do us part", from online dating to church wedding, which one of it is not human tradition, guided by philosophyies full of "empty deceit"? As for the "sinful and fleshy" part, scoff me as you wish, but if you view marriage as merely a permission to have sex, then indeed, it's absolutely sinful and fleshy. That was the Pharisees' practice in the historical context of Matt. 19, who frequently married, divorced and remarried for the sole purpose of having sex, because their "eyes and hands caused them to sin".

As for 1 Tim. 4:3, don't you want same sex "marriage", mormon "marriage" and immigration fraud "marriage" be forbidden? Or the Pharisees' sham marriage be forbidden? I don't know about you, Lord Jesus indicted them of adultery - "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.”"

You keep going back to that part about there is nobody for you to marry.

With the attitude you have displayed here, I'm not surprised nobody wants to marry you. If I was a girl I would avoid you like the plague.

Be a nicer person and you might find somebody to marry. Or she will probably find you.

 

[Lovette]

So we shouldn't bother with those other goals, either, because they're worldly traditions, too? What do you mean by "whitewashing" the desire for marriage? Why do you think the desire for marriage is such bad thing?

"If you view marriage as merely a permission to have sex, then indeed, it's absolutely sinful and fleshy." I don't view it as merely that. I doubt many other Christians do, either. But sexual desires do play a role in the the desire for marriage. Nothing wrong with that. Paul even uses strong sexual desires as an example of a good reason to get married. Unless you view 1 Corinthians 7 as Paul making concessions for Christians to sin? Hahaha.

"Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever." (1 Jn. 2:15-17)

Regarding your statement about 1 Timothy 4:3, are those examples the only possible ways that people get married? Apparently, godly and healthy Christian marriages are something you view as a myth or utopian fantasy. If that's the case, well, I suppose I understand your personal reluctance to marry. and your warnings about marriage to other Christians.

I just find these positions extreme and rather puzzling, that's all. I have no doubt about your sincerity at this point, haha.

Yeah, "extreme and rather puzzling", yet all legal and normalized. Premarital sex and no fault divorce are forbidden, yet both are legal and normalized. "Godly and healthy Christian marriage" is not necessarily a myth, but it's riskier than gambling and rarer than winning a jackpot.

And speaking of which, the greatest irony is that, in the supposedly godly, conservative rural areas in the "bible belt" where marriage is constantly preached, worshipped and promoted, domestic strifes and divorces are MORE common, marriages less stable, compared to the conceited, snobby liberal couples educated in the supposedly communist, godless colleges, or the Asian, Muslim and other "pagan" couples who have no dealings with Christianity at all.

 

[Kainos]

No it doesn't. It's foolish and idolatrous. If you're truly patient and hopeful, set your expectations on what the Lord's kingdom has not yet unfolded.

Seeking your other half among the likes of these is truly foolish and idolatrous. Not a judgement on any of them, though.

We're done, buddy. It's impossible to paint the bigger picture with someone who keeps factory resetting mid-conversation.

 

[Lovette]

You keep going back to that part about there is nobody for you to marry.

With the attitude you have displayed here, I'm not surprised nobody wants to marry you. If I was a girl I would avoid you like the plague.

Be a nicer person and you might find somebody to marry. Or she will probably find you.

Alright, hope you find your Mr. Darcy or Mr. Knightley. Wish you the best.