How Much Does God Influence Whom We Are Attracted To or Who is Attracted to Us -- If At All?

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my mum said to me, before she passed, that it was better to be happy and single than married and miserable. And I think she's right. One of my aunties married, and it was hell for her and her children when her husband threatened to kill her. Or the other aunty who's husband cheated on her.. and it's not like they ever knew that it would turn out that way when they first got married.
 
Lanolin said:
um people like who they like, I don't believe God influences them in any way. I think if you belong to the same religion, maybe you can say well God bought us together because your whole life has revolved around God anyway and that's what you are taught in church.

But people marry and have partners who are pagans/heathens its not like marriage is restricted to just Christians.

If God influences who is attracted to me, what about all the unwanted attractions? What about the guy who hit on me in a lifegroup, who already had a girlfriend..and she was sitting right next to him??

Am I the one that's meant to break up marriages or some such? Why do already married/attached men feel attracted to me? why God why??

If God is offering me guys in church He's sure got slim pickings in all the churches I've been in. The solo dad with the toddler son who lives with his mum? yea sure! What happened to his ex-wife?

The pastor who I felt certain vibes from..who has wife sitting in the front row and teenage daughters?
The pervy guy asking me out and wanting me to be alone with him at night who asked for my number? Who's also looking at the teenage daughters?

The guy who gave me his ring to try on but lives in...Australia?!
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There is a thing called natural attraction. It's not wrong in itself, but it can get us in trouble. Been there....... Watchman Nee has good advice. Find out all that you can about the person you are interested in. If you enter a relationship, close your eyes. Everyone has faults and flaws. There is no need to look for them. What we really need to avoid is things that we can't stand. I'm not especially tidy. My wife grew up with a sister somewhat like me. My wife is tidy but not bothered that I'm not. Some people could not handle it. Best to find that out before marrying!

Some men make good husbands, others are deadbeat losers - and everything in between. Some women have unreal expectations. Men also need to know that their spouse is not Jesus and will not meet the deepest need of the human heart.

And that is part of the problem. When someone's expectations are not me, they may go looking for another person they hope will meet their supposed need. It's a complete betrayal of their vows. God is not pleased.

Keep in mind that most church goers are not born again. That's the first condition that must be met, no matter how nice the person may appear. People can put on a front until they get what they want. Then the mask comes off. I know several people who've been through that.
 
Yea run a criminal check first.
Then previous marriage register and the dates.
Credit score?
How much it will cost you to date/ get married
How many children they have or want to have
Honesty rating
Religious affiliation
Whether they will sleep on the right side or the left.
Extended family...siblings? Aunts and uncles? Parents still alive?
Medical
Drivers license?
Whether they speak in tongues...or not.

Pays to do your research right? You don't want to buy a lemon.
 
I don't like the whole game. I feel like I'm in a meat market. Honestly. it felt like that from the age of 13 and it's still that way. Christians may claim they are more spiritual than others, but I would say for the most part, they are still in the flesh and want the flesh.

The new testament didn't actually put a high emphasis on marriage for followers of Jesus. Jesus was kind of indifferent to it as well. He never married. When God talks about marriage, its rather marriage to the land of Israel. It's His love for the land and nation. Why people think this is like a human marriage when that is just a metaphor for the covenant God had with Israel I don't know.

Jesus said for those heavenly minded we will be as angels, neither marrying or given in marriage. Meaning we would be complete in our relationship with God, I suppose.

Entering into marriage is like saying vows, and Jesus did say that making vows is not ideal. Your yes should be yes and you no be no. You can't force someone to love you forever. It's something you have to take on faith and do your best to live righteously. If you can't God gives you grace anyway..but it doesn't mean its your duty to be married and you'll die alone if you don't.
 
Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

My opinion is that God didn't cause Samson to fall in love with the woman, but rather used Samson's weakness for His glory. It potentially could have happened differently - Boaz married Ruth, a Moabitess, after Ruth joined with Israel. But Boaz was old when he married, and Samson apparently didn't want to wait? Even the warnings of Samson's parents and the disgrace of taking a wife from the uncircumcised Philistines didn't deter him.

I think with Esther, she likely just was more beautiful than the other women. Humility and a pure heart can shine through as much as physical beauty, and I get the impression (maybe wrong) that a lot of the women on that occasion were focusing moreso on clothes, makeup and outward appearance, than true beauty. Also, Esther's situation was almost a combination of marriage and job application. So again, God was involved in the process, but those who obey God tend to become more beautiful by nature of their obedience - I doubt God overrode King Ahasuerus will.

So lessons to be learned:

1) Don't believe everyone who claims God says you and he are to be together. If that one kills a lion with his bare hands or something similar, perhaps you can evaluate his claims more carefully (although I doubt Samson even used this to convince his Philistine bride).
2) Ensure the focus is kept on obedience to and love of Christ, and don't be afraid to act within that framework - God can close the doors we aren't supposed to open, and keep open those we aren't supposed to close.
 
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I think with Esther it was because she was young and maybe a lot more submissive than King Xerxes first bride Vashti, who rebelled when she didn't want to be paraded around like a trophy wife.

Note that, if Esther didn't do what the King wanted, he could kill her and nobody would bat an eye. Cos Kings can do what they want. King Solomon had what, hundreds of wives? How was that possible.

The thing is, it wasn't about the wives themselves, it was more about the land he could possess if he married them, because they would all need to pay tribute or taxes to him.

If you recall, John the Baptist criticised King Herod's marriage and got beheaded for it.
 
Ruth's famous line in the Bible - I go where you go, your people shall be my people your God is my God, and I will die and be buried where you are buried.

Excuse me for my paraphase, but note that she was saying this to NAOMI, not Boaz. Ruth was welcomed to the land of Israel, having previously been born and living in Moab.

If it hasn't sunk in yet - God cared about this little piece of real estate that was formerly the land of Caanan right bang in the Middle East at the cross roads of human civilisation. He wanted his people to be His chosen ones and relate to Him like a loving Father. Because that piece of land He was going to make into the land of milk and honey and it was promised to them.

And those who lived there, the seed of Abraham, would have many descendents as many as grains of sand and stars in the sky.
What is the population of the world now...about 5 billion? From what, just two? How many people still live in Israel? How many were killed/destroyed in the Holocaust? Something like 6 million I heard.

I'm not going to talk about the Taiping rebellion, maybe save that for another thread. I don't know what to think about that, but there's probably a good reason why Christianity didn't find root in China.
 
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