How Willing/Good Would You Be At Accepting A Completely Different Love Language Than Your Own?

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Godsgirl1983

Godsgirl1983

Well-known member
#21
Feb 2, 2023
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#21
seoulsearch said:
For anyone who hasn't heard of The 5 Love Languages, I don't know if this pastor pioneered the idea or just expanded on it, but in 1992, this book came out and exploded:

View attachment 274480

It was EVERYWHERE.

Churches were teaching classes centered around this book and it turned into its own empire. You can find charts, diagrams, and analyses galore on this topic. Even the It was treated as the revolutionary new thing that was going to heal marriages, ensure perfect ones in the future, and single-handedly bring down the divorce rates.

At least, that's how it was treated in the Christian circles I was in at the time.

To this day, you'll still often find it spoken about as a pillar concept regarding relationships.
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Well, I was looking up, (well trying and not succeeding much) titles for the book series 5 love languages.
I know I've seen some for marriage (maybe the titles were slightly different, but same author and subject) and I know I've seen 5 love language books (same author) specifically for children and teens. I was going to post those, but have yet to find them :confused:

The one I found, which I did not know about, is for singles (at the time of posting this, this link will take you to the listing on thriftbooks)
Thought some of our friends here might find an interest in it.
 
RodB651

RodB651

Well-known member
#22
Feb 11, 2021
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#22
seoulsearch said:
How do we learn to compromise, and where is the line between compromise and demanding too much/feeling as if someone is trying to control us?
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Over the years, I've felt that the "love languages" were over emphasized. I felt it created a situation to argue about. It seemed like most married couples were fine till they read the book. Now they need counseling because they read something that made them think they had issues when they really didn't. But, I don't know. Maybe it really is something to ponder.

Quality time and acts of service are two that I work on personally. I've been divorced around ten years now and I've thought about this a lot. I think "Physical touch" would be easy for most guys cause we like to touch and be touched (No, I'm not talking about that kinda touching. Oh you people! 😆). I think the real trick for me personally would be could I sit in the room with this lady and have conversations and just enjoy having the conversations and being with her. Could I do that without sitting by her, holding her hand, or anything like that? Can we just enjoy each others company without any expectation of something more private later? I'm saying this in a marital context.

I also think that at this point in life, if I met someone and her personality was such that she needed quiet time or maybe even her own separate bedroom, I would be ok with that. I like my alone time to. We could live under the same roof but with different rooms... We could have date nights and such...

Hey Baby, your room or mine??? 😎😁
 
Subhumanoidal

Subhumanoidal

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#23
Sep 17, 2018
4,204
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#23
I've never heard of marriages failing due to this concept or book. If one book ruins your marriage, let's be real, that marriage was on shaky ground to begin with.

Personally I've found it helpful in relationships. In fact I think it actually made some of my relationships better.
But it requires both to be willing to read it and put what they learn to use. If it's only one sided, it won't work out.
 
ATSTD

ATSTD

Well-known member
#24
Feb 21, 2025
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#24
RodB651 said:
Over the years, I've felt that the "love languages" were over emphasized. I felt it created a situation to argue about. It seemed like most married couples were fine till they read the book. Now they need counseling because they read something that made them think they had issues when they really didn't. But, I don't know. Maybe it really is something to ponder.

Quality time and acts of service are two that I work on personally. I've been divorced around ten years now and I've thought about this a lot. I think "Physical touch" would be easy for most guys cause we like to touch and be touched (No, I'm not talking about that kinda touching. Oh you people! 😆). I think the real trick for me personally would be could I sit in the room with this lady and have conversations and just enjoy having the conversations and being with her. Could I do that without sitting by her, holding her hand, or anything like that? Can we just enjoy each others company without any expectation of something more private later? I'm saying this in a marital context.

I also think that at this point in life, if I met someone and her personality was such that she needed quiet time or maybe even her own separate bedroom, I would be ok with that. I like my alone time to. We could live under the same roof but with different rooms... We could have date nights and such...

Hey Baby, your room or mine??? 😎😁
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This is going to sound a little radical but anyone can create a book. As a follower of Christ, I wrote a 64 page book in three days, the same year I got saved, called "How to Be Successful in a World that is Against You" or something like that, which was an instruction manual for potential non believers, to learn a bunch of basic informational facts about the Christian faith and how to go about getting saved. I don't think we should base love into five languages. I think love is way more complex then that, just like astrological signs try to tell you your personality, which basically puts a person into a box and that is just who they are for the rest of their lives.

Isn't there like way more names for love in the Bible (English, Greek, Hebrew, Aramaic) that mean or represent love that God's word says, than just 5 categories that man made?
 
ATSTD

ATSTD

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#25
Feb 21, 2025
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#25
ATSTD said:
This is going to sound a little radical but anyone can create a book. As a follower of Christ, I wrote a 64 page book in three days, the same year I got saved, called "How to Be Successful in a World that is Against You" or something like that, which was an instruction manual for potential non believers, to learn a bunch of basic informational facts about the Christian faith and how to go about getting saved. I don't think we should base love into five languages. I think love is way more complex then that, just like astrological signs try to tell you your personality, which basically puts a person into a box and that is just who they are for the rest of their lives.

Isn't there like way more names for love in the Bible (English, Greek, Hebrew, Aramaic) that mean or represent love that God's word says, than just 5 categories that man made?
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@RodB651 you weren't supposed to be connected to the last post. (accident)
 
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