Hey Everyone,
I promised to tell you who the two girls were in my previous thread (you know, the ones in the miniskirts, tank tops, stilettos, tattoos, wild hair, and heavy makeup.) Most people know there is usually a twist to my threads, and this is no exception. I confess that while these two girls DO exist, they have not attended church looking this way. Yet.
Now, as for their identities: girl #1 has very long blonde hair and blue-green eyes, very pretty (think a slightly older Princess Bride but with perfect, beach-wavy hair), and though she's in her 40's, could easily pass for about 32. She is also a dedicated Christian, devoted wife, and terrific mother... as well as one of my best friends. This is not her real name, but for this thread, I will call her Lee.
Girl #2 has dark hair and well... She is a bit of a nerd, never one to fit into popular circles, and always a bit on the outside of the lines. You all know her. I once wrote a poem that ended with, "Her thoughts are so scattered that no word clearly defines... As for who she is, if you must know, she is the writer of these lines." Girl #2 would be the CC user known as Seoulsearch. (Yes, I know some of you will screech at the thought of me in in a mini. I do too, believe me, and don't even own one.)
The inspiration for these threads came from:
1. A girl at my old church who told me other members visibly withdrew from a friend she had brought to church who had tattoos on her arms. I felt very sad that her friend would be treated this way and made it a point to find this girl, shake her hand with both my hands and tell her to please come visit us again sometime. I was also inspired by a woman I met with AIDS and when I hugged her, she cried on my shoulder and said no one had touched her in two years.
2. I will never forget a girl I met in college who was raised in church but for her own reasons, went her own way for some time. She was working at an adult club and told me about the men from her home church (some of them prominent leaders in the church) who would come to this place... And when they saw her there, they felt convicted and would leave. I agree with with her when she said, "If you're going to feel convicted, feel that way on your own, not because of me."
I told my friend Lee, "So... do you think these men left this club and never went back? OR did they just find another club to go to?" We both agreed with the latter--not to be condemning, but realistic. And while the women at the church all condemned the girl I talked to for her choices... I wondered how many of their husbands were visiting this "gentlemen's club" with or without their knowledge. The girl who worked there, was, in my opinion, more just than they were because she never identified the men she saw there but could have easily done so.
For several years, I've wanted to conduct my own experiment by going to churches for about a month at a time dressed in the manner I described. My friend Lee said she'd go with me for moral support. Neither of us own these types of clothes, nor do we ever dress or look this way (the tattoos would be fake.) As I've said many times, I'm always more interested in what people actually do than in what they say. How would people react to us? Would anyone talk to us or would they just tell us to leave? Would men try to give us their numbers (and would they be elders of the church?) I would love to conduct this experiment over a year or so and then write a paper about how we were treated. And I wouldn't be shy about publishing the names of the churches we attended. I wish I would have done this as my final project for my Social Psychology Minor in college--back then I could have passed for about age 16, which would have made for an even more interesting twist.
The last thing that I wanted to mention was that I just read the story of Jesus being anointed by "a woman who had lived a sinful life" and how the religious leaders harshly condemned Him for even associating with such a woman.
I thank everyone for your thoughts and most intriguing answers. I was sorry to read about some who have been misjudged or mistreated for things like appearance and money.
For this thread, I'd like to know more about times when: you have been unfairly judged in the church, and what became of it? Or did you judge someone unfairly and how did God convict you? (I sure have--I once hesitated to invite someone to a church function because I didn't think she would "fit in" and I was wrong to think I had a right to judge that!!) How did you eventually find a home church that accepted you, or are you still looking? Were you able to forgive those who mistreated you, or are you still working on it?
God bless you all, thank you for your honesty, and if you see two girls dressed like this sitting at your church this Sunday... It just might be Lee and I.
I promised to tell you who the two girls were in my previous thread (you know, the ones in the miniskirts, tank tops, stilettos, tattoos, wild hair, and heavy makeup.) Most people know there is usually a twist to my threads, and this is no exception. I confess that while these two girls DO exist, they have not attended church looking this way. Yet.
Now, as for their identities: girl #1 has very long blonde hair and blue-green eyes, very pretty (think a slightly older Princess Bride but with perfect, beach-wavy hair), and though she's in her 40's, could easily pass for about 32. She is also a dedicated Christian, devoted wife, and terrific mother... as well as one of my best friends. This is not her real name, but for this thread, I will call her Lee.
Girl #2 has dark hair and well... She is a bit of a nerd, never one to fit into popular circles, and always a bit on the outside of the lines. You all know her. I once wrote a poem that ended with, "Her thoughts are so scattered that no word clearly defines... As for who she is, if you must know, she is the writer of these lines." Girl #2 would be the CC user known as Seoulsearch. (Yes, I know some of you will screech at the thought of me in in a mini. I do too, believe me, and don't even own one.)
The inspiration for these threads came from:
1. A girl at my old church who told me other members visibly withdrew from a friend she had brought to church who had tattoos on her arms. I felt very sad that her friend would be treated this way and made it a point to find this girl, shake her hand with both my hands and tell her to please come visit us again sometime. I was also inspired by a woman I met with AIDS and when I hugged her, she cried on my shoulder and said no one had touched her in two years.
2. I will never forget a girl I met in college who was raised in church but for her own reasons, went her own way for some time. She was working at an adult club and told me about the men from her home church (some of them prominent leaders in the church) who would come to this place... And when they saw her there, they felt convicted and would leave. I agree with with her when she said, "If you're going to feel convicted, feel that way on your own, not because of me."
I told my friend Lee, "So... do you think these men left this club and never went back? OR did they just find another club to go to?" We both agreed with the latter--not to be condemning, but realistic. And while the women at the church all condemned the girl I talked to for her choices... I wondered how many of their husbands were visiting this "gentlemen's club" with or without their knowledge. The girl who worked there, was, in my opinion, more just than they were because she never identified the men she saw there but could have easily done so.
For several years, I've wanted to conduct my own experiment by going to churches for about a month at a time dressed in the manner I described. My friend Lee said she'd go with me for moral support. Neither of us own these types of clothes, nor do we ever dress or look this way (the tattoos would be fake.) As I've said many times, I'm always more interested in what people actually do than in what they say. How would people react to us? Would anyone talk to us or would they just tell us to leave? Would men try to give us their numbers (and would they be elders of the church?) I would love to conduct this experiment over a year or so and then write a paper about how we were treated. And I wouldn't be shy about publishing the names of the churches we attended. I wish I would have done this as my final project for my Social Psychology Minor in college--back then I could have passed for about age 16, which would have made for an even more interesting twist.
The last thing that I wanted to mention was that I just read the story of Jesus being anointed by "a woman who had lived a sinful life" and how the religious leaders harshly condemned Him for even associating with such a woman.
I thank everyone for your thoughts and most intriguing answers. I was sorry to read about some who have been misjudged or mistreated for things like appearance and money.
For this thread, I'd like to know more about times when: you have been unfairly judged in the church, and what became of it? Or did you judge someone unfairly and how did God convict you? (I sure have--I once hesitated to invite someone to a church function because I didn't think she would "fit in" and I was wrong to think I had a right to judge that!!) How did you eventually find a home church that accepted you, or are you still looking? Were you able to forgive those who mistreated you, or are you still working on it?
God bless you all, thank you for your honesty, and if you see two girls dressed like this sitting at your church this Sunday... It just might be Lee and I.
I don't have anyone to go with me at the time but if I did... there are PLENTY of churches in this area to visit... Most with older (presumably more conservative) members, so it would definitely be interesting!!