Husband got mad and shoved me into the counter and cubbard I am calling Abw tomorrow

[MichaelOwen]

Be nice depleted we can't judge what went on in her life at that point in her life... that is not fair. She did what she felt she could at the time. She got out and changed her life and accepted God. I don't think anyone is saying it was a great idea but it was what she did at the time. It is fast good money that is paid off the books and is not really taxed it on any kind of payroll. So maybe she did it that way so she could not be found as easy. We do not know her story. I really can't say anything bad about someone who does what they have to do to get out of abusive relationships. It is better then what I have done for so many years and shut myself off and just kept taking it... and living with the fear he planted in my head and excusing his actions over and over... we all just do what we can until we feel ready to make it or break it...

It's not about judging, it's about whether or not your heart is right with the Lord or not. If you're heart is not right with the Lord, you're going to fall away and into the world and fall into the worldly desires and sins of the world. The Lord never told us life would be easy, we have to suffer just as Jesus suffered. Some more than others, but we should still stand on God's word and still hold up our light for Christ, and we know what is right by God's word, and what is wrong.

 

[Zi]

I had no previous relationship with God. I was 19..

I didn't fall away I was never with him to start with

It's not about judging, it's about whether or not your heart is right with the Lord or not. If you're heart is not right with the Lord, you're going to fall away and into the world and fall into the worldly desires and sins of the world. The Lord never told us life would be easy, we have to suffer just as Jesus suffered. Some more than others, but we should still stand on God's word and still hold up our light for Christ, and we know what is right by God's word, and what is wrong.

 

[MichaelOwen]

I had no previous relationship with God. I was 19..

I didn't fall away I was never with him to start with

Ok then that makes sense! But you are a child of God now, and that's what counts, and you're doing things the right way by seeking him and putting him first in your life

 

[Zi]

I'd say thank you but I don't think I'm doing so great a job.. that's honest. I could do better. Some will say I have reason to give advice because I'm angry, make no sense etc.. probably true.

Ok then that makes sense! But you are a child of God now, and that's what counts, and you're doing things the right way by seeking him and putting him first in your life

 

[jenniferand2]

I just don't want to get off topic here. Not one of us have a right to think the other should have would have or could have done things different. We do not know all of people's lives so we should not judge and be harsh. The topic is how do i get out of my mess and ask God for strength courage and to take away my fears. I don't care how Godly a person is they all have anxieties and doubts and fears. Yes we should fear not but people do anyways it is natural.

 

[jenniferand2]

P.s. I am not trying to be harsh depleted I love you sister. I just don't think anyone posting here should be judging anyone is all I mean. We all have different stories strengths weaknesses people in our lives that help or hinder. Is all I mean..

 

[MichaelOwen]

I just don't want to get off topic here. Not one of us have a right to think the other should have would have or could have done things different. We do not know all of people's lives so we should not judge and be harsh. The topic is how do i get out of my mess and ask God for strength courage and to take away my fears. I don't care how Godly a person is they all have anxieties and doubts and fears. Yes we should fear not but people do anyways it is natural.

Well if you're seeking the Lord with your heart, and praying fervently and staying humble and keeping your nose to the grindstone, you're doing what is required of you. That's all you can really do, you're not superhuman, but God will carry you, he will meet you halfway on your needs when you meet him halfway.

 

[Zi]

I do apologise for responding to anything other than your point for this thread.

Anything further my pm is open.

 

[jenniferand2]

I'd say thank you but I don't think I'm doing so great a job.. that's honest. I could do better. Some will say I have reason to give advice because I'm angry, make no sense etc.. probably true.

your advice is welcome you are just trying to help and say how you feel.. It takes courage to escape horrible things and life that leave marks on you forever. I still get angry at myself for things I have and have not done. But I try to look forward and rewrite my pages for the future based off on what I have learned from my past.. But yes if you can try to forgive the past other wise it will destroy your future. Holding onto past pain will eat you up and stop you from achieving many things. Forgiving is not forgetting but it does release your anger when you just forgive. I have written a letter to my mother forgiving her for all the horrible things she did to me. I never even gave it to her I just wrote it out read it and then ripped it up. In my mind I forgave her but it does not mean I forget the pain she has caused me at all.... writing is very helpful write out your feelings etc... then just rip it up burn etc. what ever you have to do.

 

[jenniferand2]

I do apologise for responding to anything other than your point for this thread.

Anything further my pm is open.

oh no that is not what I mean I am sorry I just mean I do not want people to turn this thread into a battle zone about who should do what where why when etc... Sometimes threads turn into more of a debate then anything that is what I am trying to stop lol. Your story is more then welcome it is advice that some other person may read... I did not want to make this just about me either I am sorry. my words context sometimes comes out a little wrong... Please continue to post we all learn from everyone. I just want to keep the judgement out of the thread. but the advice part is great or the story about how people have gone about things is great... Thank you

 

[Depleted]

Be nice depleted we can't judge what went on in her life at that point in her life... that is not fair. She did what she felt she could at the time. She got out and changed her life and accepted God. I don't think anyone is saying it was a great idea but it was what she did at the time. It is fast good money that is paid off the books and is not really taxed it on any kind of payroll. So maybe she did it that way so she could not be found as easy. We do not know her story. I really can't say anything bad about someone who does what they have to do to get out of abusive relationships. It is better then what I have done for so many years and shut myself off and just kept taking it... and living with the fear he planted in my head and excusing his actions over and over... we all just do what we can until we feel ready to make it or break it...

I considered prostitution when I was young, because I did not have the body for stripping. I went with a cheap room to live in paid for by an uncle, (for three months), cleaning houses, and pressed ham sandwiches or popcorn to eat.

At other times in my life I considered living in a car until there was money for shelter, and begging on a street corner for food versus going back into an abusive relationship. I really do understand tough choices, but ultimately stripping and prostitution will strip us of our very souls, and leave us vulnerable with every leer. There are tough choices, but bad choice isn't something to recommend as an alternative to another bad choice.

To me, it was like me recommending you get stoned out of your gore, because that's what I did. Way too many memories why that was NOT a good choice either.

 

[7777pinacled]

P.s. I am not trying to be harsh depleted I love you sister. I just don't think anyone posting here should be judging anyone is all I mean. We all have different stories strengths weaknesses people in our lives that help or hinder. Is all I mean..

Ive read the entire discourse of this thread and have seen sound judgement and advice given repeatedly.
I believe the first issue you need to address is your understanding of Judgement.
Yes, our Lord spoke implicitly on the matter and is a message for those who would turn the other way when someone is in need.
The issue of abuse is not a matter to be used as guile to gain pity either.
Discernment is not lacking in the advice given by many so far.
Seek the Authorites(Sheriffs office) shelter, or friends you trust, immediately...

If a person has ignored this advice.
Then they have entirely embellished a simple altercation to gain sympathy.

 

[jenniferand2]

I considered prostitution when I was young, because I did not have the body for stripping. I went with a cheap room to live in paid for by an uncle, (for three months), cleaning houses, and pressed ham sandwiches or popcorn to eat.

At other times in my life I considered living in a car until there was money for shelter, and begging on a street corner for food versus going back into an abusive relationship. I really do understand tough choices, but ultimately stripping and prostitution will strip us of our very souls, and leave us vulnerable with every leer. There are tough choices, but bad choice isn't something to recommend as an alternative to another bad choice.

To me, it was like me recommending you get stoned out of your gore, because that's what I did. Way too many memories why that was NOT a good choice either.

I understand I get it I do but we all have different coping skills and she was very young I think she said she had no family to help and really no one. Either way her life is on track now and she is trying to heal. I don't think she was giving that as advice to do .she was just telling her story is all. We just need to respect everyone no matter what their past is they are here now with the intentions of being a person of the the Lord now so that is all that matters. I know you are very passionate about this topic...

 

[jenniferand2]

Ive read the entire discourse of this thread and have seen sound judgement and advice given repeatedly.
I believe the first issue you need to address is your understanding of Judgement.
Yes, our Lord spoke implicitly on the matter and is a message for those who would turn the other way when someone is in need.
The issue of abuse is not a matter to be used as guile to gain pity either.
Discernment is not lacking in the advice given by many so far.
Seek the Authorites(Sheriffs office) shelter, or friends you trust, immediately...

If a person has ignored this advice.
Then they have entirely embellished a simple altercation to gain sympathy.

I understand the advice on here I get it. I have applied for an apartment. I will be talking to the people at abw. I have told friends I trust what is going on people now what has happened and what I am doing to get out of the situation. I also am not seeking pity believe me on that. I don't want pity I seriously want to get out of the circle of crap and get on with life and try to be happy for once. I have a friend staying here now that will not let my husband touch me in anyway or he will take him down.. It is a good friend of both of ours and he knows what is going on as well. For right this moment I am safe and I won't take a place a shelter that someone else may need more then me at the moment. I am not saying that I am taking what happened lightly either I am saying that this circle has gone on for a long while so I know how it works. that is not to say that it can t change but I am praying that God protects me until I am can finish my things to be able t leave safely.

 

[Depleted]

Why were you out of church in the first place? It's really a bailout choice, but God wouldn't want that for any of his children. I'm not judging you or condemning you for it, but continue to seek him, be in the light as he is in the light. We can't make excuse for why we aren't serving the Lord, we know that is a fact.

19 says it all sometimes. Some of my dumber choices were made when I was the same age. Others, and I was older. Weird part was I was a Christian by then, I was just a really stupid Christian. There is no evidence she was born again yet then.

And do understand she is older now. Who she was then isn't who she is today. Doubly so, if she wasn't yet born again.

The only thing I had against what she said was how it sounded like something Jenn should try to get out fast. More so, that Tourist sounded like he thought it was okay so she could survived. The Lord has had me live between rocks and hard places often, but he's also managed to keep me living with the bare necessities even while in those spots.

I couldn't find a job, yet he gave me two cleaning jobs that gave me $10 a week. (Back in 1978, so probably about $35 in today's economy.) I had to borrow money for the $70 rent, but the $10 was barely enough to eat. And I was worried I'd have neither food nor shelter.

Hubby broke his back while I was trying out being a housewife. I quickly found a minimum wage come-when-we-need-yo part-time job, but finding a steadier job wasn't happening, while we watched our savings disappear. We got a job as group-home parents and walked into the doors of that home with a dime left in my pocket. But, sure enough, God was ready for us exactly when we needed the job.

Eventually, we crawled back up to middle-class enough that we bought a house. Then I became disabled, (I never made it as a housewife, so I worked and contributed 40% of our income), and three years later hubby became disabled. We watched our money disappear again, just as hubby found out he needed chemo. It was gone and a foreclosure notice came in the mail, as he started chemo. Again, last minute, but God saved our house for us.

I am sure of one thing now, God is there to take care of our needs. (Not so much on the wants, but he takes care of our needs. lol) And as often as I've thought of some really crappy choices on how to bail us out, I have never needed to go that far, because God has always taken care of us.

I know we tend to run out of trust when we're between that rock and hard place, but, even then, God is trustworthy.

Zi isn't who she used to be. God's not done with her yet, but then again, isn't that true for all of us? It doesn't necessarily get easier because we go to church.

 

[Depleted]

As everyone is able to.. I have you on ignore because I think most of your advice is trash.

I seen yours quoted.

You're free to say what you want.. I did disclose not to take my route, thanks tho.. nice try..

I so love how everyone trashes me right before they ignore me. No chance to settle difference, but then again, this is CC. Matt. 18:15-17 doesn't count as part of the gospel on this site.

So much for finding out it was never against you.

Congratulations, you just made a friend for doing that. You'll make more.

 

[jenniferand2]

19 says it all sometimes. Some of my dumber choices were made when I was the same age. Others, and I was older. Weird part was I was a Christian by then, I was just a really stupid Christian. There is no evidence she was born again yet then.

And do understand she is older now. Who she was then isn't who she is today. Doubly so, if she wasn't yet born again.

The only thing I had against what she said was how it sounded like something Jenn should try to get out fast. More so, that Tourist sounded like he thought it was okay so she could survived. The Lord has had me live between rocks and hard places often, but he's also managed to keep me living with the bare necessities even while in those spots.

I couldn't find a job, yet he gave me two cleaning jobs that gave me $10 a week. (Back in 1978, so probably about $35 in today's economy.) I had to borrow money for the $70 rent, but the $10 was barely enough to eat. And I was worried I'd have neither food nor shelter.

Hubby broke his back while I was trying out being a housewife. I quickly found a minimum wage come-when-we-need-yo part-time job, but finding a steadier job wasn't happening, while we watched our savings disappear. We got a job as group-home parents and walked into the doors of that home with a dime left in my pocket. But, sure enough, God was ready for us exactly when we needed the job.

Eventually, we crawled back up to middle-class enough that we bought a house. Then I became disabled, (I never made it as a housewife, so I worked and contributed 40% of our income), and three years later hubby became disabled. We watched our money disappear again, just as hubby found out he needed chemo. It was gone and a foreclosure notice came in the mail, as he started chemo. Again, last minute, but God saved our house for us.

I am sure of one thing now, God is there to take care of our needs. (Not so much on the wants, but he takes care of our needs. lol) And as often as I've thought of some really crappy choices on how to bail us out, I have never needed to go that far, because God has always taken care of us.

I know we tend to run out of trust when we're between that rock and hard place, but, even then, God is trustworthy.

Zi isn't who she used to be. God's not done with her yet, but then again, isn't that true for all of us? It doesn't necessarily get easier because we go to church.

Haha i have made horrible choices all the way up to yesterday lol I don't think horrible choices ever go away. I am making better choices in many areas of life now that I am back with God. God has delivered me out of major storms in life even when I was ignoring him and was mad at him. I came back as a Christian in April of 2010 after most of my young adult life went to the way side. I am so glad he is back in my life. I have been trying to go to a church by me and I like it a lot. So now I pray that my life can slowly come out of a tail spin of pure heck and move into a life of happy and light.

 

[MichaelOwen]

Haha i have made horrible choices all the way up to yesterday lol I don't think horrible choices ever go away. I am making better choices in many areas of life now that I am back with God. God has delivered me out of major storms in life even when I was ignoring him and was mad at him. I came back as a Christian in April of 2010 after most of my young adult life went to the way side. I am so glad he is back in my life. I have been trying to go to a church by me and I like it a lot. So now I pray that my life can slowly come out of a tail spin of pure heck and move into a life of happy and light.

I can say that I fall into that boat with you in making mistakes

 

[Depleted]

I'd say thank you but I don't think I'm doing so great a job.. that's honest. I could do better. Some will say I have reason to give advice because I'm angry, make no sense etc.. probably true.

Actually, I think you were doing a pretty good job. Out of everything you've said, the only thing I disagreed with was that it sure sounded like you were saying it was a good idea to strip.

(And, yeah. You have me ignored. Oh well. I don't have you ignored.)

 

[Depleted]

I just don't want to get off topic here. Not one of us have a right to think the other should have would have or could have done things different. We do not know all of people's lives so we should not judge and be harsh. The topic is how do i get out of my mess and ask God for strength courage and to take away my fears. I don't care how Godly a person is they all have anxieties and doubts and fears. Yes we should fear not but people do anyways it is natural.

I don't think the Lord takes away fear. Where is courage and where is following anyway, if we fear nothing?

Fear is merely something to ride through while doing it anyway. It's a wave, not a brick wall.