I’m a new Christian ask husband for reconciliation
- Thread starter Jessijess
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Congratulations on becoming a Christian- Give it TIME, Wait on the Lord... You've done your part asking for reconciliation, did you ask him for counseling? If you want to reconcile the marriage- then ask God to soften your husbands heart towards you and to heal your marriage, I will pray this with you-Sounds like you've done your part in seeking forgiveness and asking for reconciliation so now pray and wait, if you haven't divorced your husband then don't start up another relationship other than your relationship with Christ- give it time (maybe a year) and if your husband still doesn't want to reconcile or if he hasn't come to you to reconcile then make a decision then if you are to seek divorce and move on from there.... - but never forget we all have a void and the only thing that will fill it is God. Also, he is an atheist (you are married already and you can pray for his salvation- because that would be the 1st thing that would need to happen for reconciliation to happen- I prayed 13 years for my atheist husband to accept Christ- yet he continued to have affairs and our marriage ended- 7 years later I was able to forgive him- yet I had already moved on and re-married so no turning back now. Divorce is hated by God but so is many other sins- because He knows how much they hurt us, His children.
Praying for you both! God's will not our own.
Praying for you both! God's will not our own.
Remaining unmarried for the rest of your life is a decision you must make. I can't really understand why you both married each other in the first place since you obviously never loved each other. Why would you want him back if you don't love him? That's obviously not a good environment to be raising children in. Now your saying that you are interested in an unmarried man who is willing to live with you and live a sexless life. The only good thing about that is there will be no children. Going to church with you is fine but he needs to confess his sin because he's lying to you. What you have described is never going to happen because this church guy has other things on his mind. You can cry a river now.
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I'm post menopausal. I get sex can hurt, so don't think I don't believe you. What I hope is your condition can be treated. (And I also get that this kind of stuff can be embarrassing as possible to talk to even if we're not face-to-face, so don't feel the need to explain it. Just know I do believe you. 
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You've been going on many forums and strangers are telling you they are pastors. Whole different thing than "many pastors" are telling you something.
And truthfully, even if some of those strangers are pastors, sometimes pastors don't know what they're talking about either. Many pastors have never studied the word, nor ever plan to.
I was raped back when I was 20. I had grown up Catholic, so I have the Ten Commandments down pat, Catholic style. (Catholics miss the one about "no graven images" for obvious reasons, and then split the last one in two, so covet wife is different than coveting donkey. But, hey, that's how I learned them, so it's hard for me to remember Protestant/Bible version now. lol) Catholic style, the sixth commandment is "thou shalt not commit adultery." I was 20, and still a virgin. AND, I had been born again when I was 16 so already knew the fifth one -- "Thou shalt not killed" was spelled out more by Jesus to include not calling my brother a fool. I had three brothers back then. (Another one since, but he wasn't around yet, so only three then.) You betcha! I've called my brothers fools, which means the only commandment at 20 I did not break was the adultery one.
So, I got raped. Raped. Is that adultery? Sex outside of marriage is adultery, and I had sex, even if I didn't want to, so was that adultery? Felt guilty about that for three years, so I asked a pastor. The pastor told me I had sinned when I was raped, even if I didn't mean to. I believe him for a year.
Then someone set me straight. Sin is something we do on purpose. I did not have sex on purpose or by accident. I was raped!
That pastor was an idiot!
Don't go believing pastors don't come in idiot-flavor too. They do! Part of the reason we need to study the word. There are a LOT of idiots, and some of them are Christians. We need God's word, not some idiot's word.
If need be, (and you definitely need be), study what the scripture says about divorce, because what you're being taught is wrong.
And truthfully, even if some of those strangers are pastors, sometimes pastors don't know what they're talking about either. Many pastors have never studied the word, nor ever plan to.
I was raped back when I was 20. I had grown up Catholic, so I have the Ten Commandments down pat, Catholic style. (Catholics miss the one about "no graven images" for obvious reasons, and then split the last one in two, so covet wife is different than coveting donkey. But, hey, that's how I learned them, so it's hard for me to remember Protestant/Bible version now. lol) Catholic style, the sixth commandment is "thou shalt not commit adultery." I was 20, and still a virgin. AND, I had been born again when I was 16 so already knew the fifth one -- "Thou shalt not killed" was spelled out more by Jesus to include not calling my brother a fool. I had three brothers back then. (Another one since, but he wasn't around yet, so only three then.) You betcha! I've called my brothers fools, which means the only commandment at 20 I did not break was the adultery one.
So, I got raped. Raped. Is that adultery? Sex outside of marriage is adultery, and I had sex, even if I didn't want to, so was that adultery? Felt guilty about that for three years, so I asked a pastor. The pastor told me I had sinned when I was raped, even if I didn't mean to. I believe him for a year.
Then someone set me straight. Sin is something we do on purpose. I did not have sex on purpose or by accident. I was raped!
That pastor was an idiot!
Don't go believing pastors don't come in idiot-flavor too. They do! Part of the reason we need to study the word. There are a LOT of idiots, and some of them are Christians. We need God's word, not some idiot's word.
If need be, (and you definitely need be), study what the scripture says about divorce, because what you're being taught is wrong.