im so sorry about your loss, nobody deserves to go through the terrible pain and the guilt you are going through, if only at the time we knew what we were doing because the circumstance does not compare with the pain after losing a child of our own doing in pregnancy, its a terrible dark place to be in,I say this because I had an abortion back in 1995 when i was about 20, Sister you will be ok, give it some time, let the pain of this darkness take its coiurse, keep up with your relationship with God, and the concequenses will be light, some people turn promiscuous after an abortion, after the pains, I know I did,Hes there, God knew you and I would do this before he created us, so God Is Not Taken By Surprise, once you finally learn this valuable lesson, and youl come to find comfort further down the track that you will meet you child as he/she waits for you in heaven, i always think of David and Bathshebas baby born in adultery,that died whom David will see in heaven, and hes up there now with his child Praise God? I hope you will take comfort in that time to come and the scripture in Revelations that.. God shall wipe their tears out of their eyes,darling in the mean time get support like a post-abortion counsellor and or a pastor or someone who will not judge you because you will be harshly judging yourself for a while, also if you can, the father of your child needs to share the pain and greive with you with you so you are not alone in this, I hope hes there for you, also I know that God seems sooooooo far away and that you feel that he is mad at you, this part of the condemnation which is opened up by the act given place to the devil, when you are tired of trying to find God tell him this and ask him to find you, and most important, YOU MUST LEARN TO FORGIVE YOURSELF!!!! and oneday you will be a powerhouse and your ministry to share and encourage with others not to have abortions if they are contemplateing it or share their pain, and thats how the work of God carries on in this fallen world.But in the mean time first things first, may God have your broken heart in His hands with love Julia