Greetings, all my dear friends in the Singles Forum!
Something I have really been thinking about in my own life as I've read some of the recent threads and posts here is the way in which God has dealt with me (many, many times, with many more to come) regarding the topic of humbling myself before Him and before other people.
One of the most annoying things I seem to encounter on a repeated basis in my ongoing dating adventure are older men in the chat rooms who will tell me something such as, "You're a very attractive young woman--you need to stop looking at outer appearances and give a guy a chance and not judge him for just the way he looks." (As a lot of you know, it's often men as old as 74, no joke, telling me this, and I just want to shout, "No way, buddy, sorry, I don't care how superficial you think I am!")
However, a few days ago in a chat room, a man not too much older than me (less than ten years) gave me the same lecture (I will refer to him as X--no connection at all with his online name to ensure privacy)--and stated that I needed to stop choosing potential dates based on looks.
I was hopping mad!!! First of all, the guys who tell me this know NOTHING about me. They don't know that one of the biggest struggles in my Christian walk is my own insecurities, depression, and past destructive behaviors fueled by things we all encounter on a much too regular basis--rejection, something that makes us "different", etc., as well as the fact that these men are oblivious to the fact that I've NEVER had scores of guys after me (let alone ones who look like Abercrombie models, apparently) as they just seem to assume.
I can't stand it when someone assumes something about you, such as, that you're a superficial bimbo who would only date a guy based on looks (yes, looks do matter to us as human beings... but are they everything? Of course not!!!)
On the flipside of this, (and I'm sorry, as this post may become a bit lengthy), is that these men do not know what I've tried to do in my life in order to be ready to submit to the right husband God has for me.
I am obviously a person with a rather... how do we say this sweetly
"colorful" personality... but one of the things God has put on my heart is that if and when I do marry someday, I may have every intention of submitting to my husband, but if I don't have some kind of practice in doing so, I will probably just rebel and cause all sorts of problems within my marriage.
One of the things I've done over the years, after much prayer, is make the decision to talk to my best male friend (who is in prison--we became friends while he was in prison so we've never had a friendship outside the prison walls) and my parents, even though I am a grown, fully independent adult (my parents also know my friend and have contact with him as well) about the major decisions in my life and to take their input as God's final say, even if I don't agree with what they tell me. This may seem like a trivial thing, but I do believe it's preparing me to be the kind of wife God would want me to be in the future.
Keeping this in mind, as you can imagine, I was furious when the above-mentioned X singled me out in front of everyone in that chat room and, in my mind, made me out to be an air-headed snob who was only interested in surface appearances.
As you can imagine, I went into the chat room the next day after telling God how upset I was, fully prepared to make every use of my blazing spiritual guns (Ha! As if! Only in my own worldly mind!) and completely unload on this guy.
I entered into chat... and promptly wrote on the general message screen, so that everyone could see (after all, he had embarrassed me in front of everyone else, I fully planned to return to favor), "X, do you remember yesterday when you told me not to just pick guys out based on looks alone?"
"Actually, Seoul..." he promptly replied, "what I was really trying to tell you is that some guys out there who are more insecure may be a bit nervous when approaching you..."
Oh.
D'OH!!!! *Slaps her forehead*
Could it POSSIBLY be that I had simply misinterpreted what he was trying to tell me? NO WAY, IT COULDN'T BE THAT!! WHY, THAT WOULD MEAN... *gulp* THAT I WAS... wrong.
And that, my friends, very quickly deflated all the air out of my "White Hot Revenge" hot air balloon.
What I had taken as a personal hit was simply a misunderstanding of what the other person was trying to say.
I repented right then and there and told God, thank goodness you put me in my place!!!
So... (and thanks for bearing with me through all this!) I'd like to know if anyone else out there has any stories of when God leveled your pride to the ground...
And, just out of curiosity, how did it make you feel? In this particular case, I know it was only by God's grace alone that I could be thankful He spared me from embarrassing myself any further!!
I would love to hear your thoughts, input, and experiences.
*Humbly bows in respect.*
Something I have really been thinking about in my own life as I've read some of the recent threads and posts here is the way in which God has dealt with me (many, many times, with many more to come) regarding the topic of humbling myself before Him and before other people.
One of the most annoying things I seem to encounter on a repeated basis in my ongoing dating adventure are older men in the chat rooms who will tell me something such as, "You're a very attractive young woman--you need to stop looking at outer appearances and give a guy a chance and not judge him for just the way he looks." (As a lot of you know, it's often men as old as 74, no joke, telling me this, and I just want to shout, "No way, buddy, sorry, I don't care how superficial you think I am!")
However, a few days ago in a chat room, a man not too much older than me (less than ten years) gave me the same lecture (I will refer to him as X--no connection at all with his online name to ensure privacy)--and stated that I needed to stop choosing potential dates based on looks.
I was hopping mad!!! First of all, the guys who tell me this know NOTHING about me. They don't know that one of the biggest struggles in my Christian walk is my own insecurities, depression, and past destructive behaviors fueled by things we all encounter on a much too regular basis--rejection, something that makes us "different", etc., as well as the fact that these men are oblivious to the fact that I've NEVER had scores of guys after me (let alone ones who look like Abercrombie models, apparently) as they just seem to assume.
I can't stand it when someone assumes something about you, such as, that you're a superficial bimbo who would only date a guy based on looks (yes, looks do matter to us as human beings... but are they everything? Of course not!!!)
On the flipside of this, (and I'm sorry, as this post may become a bit lengthy), is that these men do not know what I've tried to do in my life in order to be ready to submit to the right husband God has for me.
I am obviously a person with a rather... how do we say this sweetly
"colorful" personality... but one of the things God has put on my heart is that if and when I do marry someday, I may have every intention of submitting to my husband, but if I don't have some kind of practice in doing so, I will probably just rebel and cause all sorts of problems within my marriage. One of the things I've done over the years, after much prayer, is make the decision to talk to my best male friend (who is in prison--we became friends while he was in prison so we've never had a friendship outside the prison walls) and my parents, even though I am a grown, fully independent adult (my parents also know my friend and have contact with him as well) about the major decisions in my life and to take their input as God's final say, even if I don't agree with what they tell me. This may seem like a trivial thing, but I do believe it's preparing me to be the kind of wife God would want me to be in the future.
Keeping this in mind, as you can imagine, I was furious when the above-mentioned X singled me out in front of everyone in that chat room and, in my mind, made me out to be an air-headed snob who was only interested in surface appearances.
As you can imagine, I went into the chat room the next day after telling God how upset I was, fully prepared to make every use of my blazing spiritual guns (Ha! As if! Only in my own worldly mind!) and completely unload on this guy.
I entered into chat... and promptly wrote on the general message screen, so that everyone could see (after all, he had embarrassed me in front of everyone else, I fully planned to return to favor), "X, do you remember yesterday when you told me not to just pick guys out based on looks alone?"
"Actually, Seoul..." he promptly replied, "what I was really trying to tell you is that some guys out there who are more insecure may be a bit nervous when approaching you..."
Oh.
D'OH!!!! *Slaps her forehead*
Could it POSSIBLY be that I had simply misinterpreted what he was trying to tell me? NO WAY, IT COULDN'T BE THAT!! WHY, THAT WOULD MEAN... *gulp* THAT I WAS... wrong.
And that, my friends, very quickly deflated all the air out of my "White Hot Revenge" hot air balloon.
What I had taken as a personal hit was simply a misunderstanding of what the other person was trying to say.
I repented right then and there and told God, thank goodness you put me in my place!!!
So... (and thanks for bearing with me through all this!) I'd like to know if anyone else out there has any stories of when God leveled your pride to the ground...
And, just out of curiosity, how did it make you feel? In this particular case, I know it was only by God's grace alone that I could be thankful He spared me from embarrassing myself any further!!
I would love to hear your thoughts, input, and experiences.
*Humbly bows in respect.*
