"I can fix him/her" *sigh*

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Relena7 said:
I dunno...The majority of the movie titles sound boring, and most of the pic previews of lifetime shows I found in search results (almost none of which I recognized) made me wanna cringe cause of how fake the people seemed. What more do you need? :p
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I suppose that will have to do... :rolleyes: But if this were real life, it would take more convincing than that! :cool:
 
My heart is absolutely breaking for those children right now, Jullianna. :(

I do totally believe in "beautiful faults" however, I believe that wisdom is definitely needed in discerning those from the issues that must be dealt with outside of a relationship like you also said, Jullianna. Pretty much people need to seek God on their own and later, together about any relationship they enter into. Seek His face and die to self daily. :)
 
Mine too, Catlynn. :( Unfortunately, a lot of people with children don't appreciate the treasure they are, and put their own selfish needs first.

When people like the guy I was talking about jump from relationship to relationship without ever bothering to take the time to figure out what went wrong with the last one or why they keep finding themselves in the same mess time and time again, the cycle will continue. In order to obtain the information that is needed to discern the differences, one needs to step back and give it the time it deserves. Healing time. What God means to be WILL BE, especially if we do things His way and in His timing. :)
 
alienx7587 said:
I suppose that will have to do... :rolleyes: But if this were real life, it would take more convincing than that! :cool:
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I know this was meant all in fun, but this statement still irks me. I resent being stereotyped.
 
Relena7 said:
I know this was meant all in fun, but this statement still irks me. I resent being stereotyped.
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I'm sorry you feel that way, but you're right, it is all in good fun. I'm not naive enough to put individuals in boxes. It's almost paradoxical how we are all made in God's image, yet each one of us processes the world around us differently.
 
My brother, in the family I was adopted into, who is 13 years older than me, is the very thing you have been talking about.

He has 12 kids from 4 women.

In his current marriage he has lost 4 children to social services and adoption.

His oldest 2 have misdemeanors for battery and assault. His oldest son when he was 18 got married to a woman who was 26 with kids of her own.

The cycle continues.

My grandfather once called him the Johnny Appleseed of women. Still to this day I cannot fathom what draws a woman to him.
 
Liamson said:
My brother, in the family I was adopted into, who is 13 years older than me, is the very thing you have been talking about.

He has 12 kids from 4 women.

In his current marriage he has lost 4 children to social services and adoption.

His oldest 2 have misdemeanors for battery and assault. His oldest son when he was 18 got married to a woman who was 26 with kids of her own.

The cycle continues.

My grandfather once called him the Johnny Appleseed of women. Still to this day I cannot fathom what draws a woman to him.
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:( It rather sucks that the cycle goes on and the mistakes are repeated before they are recognized and thus become a way of life.
As for women being drawn to him....I got nothin.
 
Liamson said:
My brother, in the family I was adopted into, who is 13 years older than me, is the very thing you have been talking about.

He has 12 kids from 4 women.

In his current marriage he has lost 4 children to social services and adoption.

His oldest 2 have misdemeanors for battery and assault. His oldest son when he was 18 got married to a woman who was 26 with kids of her own.

The cycle continues.

My grandfather once called him the Johnny Appleseed of women. Still to this day I cannot fathom what draws a woman to him.[/quote]

I think the title of this thread is what draws women to him. Some women think that they can just love a man enough, it will change him...that he will fall madly in love with them and magically change. The love conquers all. LOVE does conquer all, but not that kind of love. It's the love of God that can change them. We've all seen it. I've seen some guys like this eventually grow up and settle down with one woman and try to repair relationships with their kids. Maturity changes them, but can't undo the damage they've left in their wake. Often though, the women and children in their lives love them enough to forgive and move on with them. Just very sad that it can take such a very long time for all of that to sink in.

And there are always women who have very low self esteem/don't appreciate their worth who are willing to settle for broken relationships.
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...my sentiments as well, and an area in which I am currently addressing in my life; having made a decision, once and for all, based upon common sense things I have considered, which I have also lined up with biblical thought and principles; particularly his inability to lead as a husband. It is one thing for him to say he believes in Jesus, and loves Jesus, and it is another to actually see any fruit beared in his life from that profession....it is a touchy topic to make a judgement about another individual, yet judgements are part of common sense. the whole book of proverbs instructs on how to judge a fool from a wise person, particularly myself as one or the other first; and other portions of scripture that do similarly, the same. I do not make judgements lightly, or in a condemming manner, yet, I have made the judgement I will not marry this man because he is not able to be the godly man I believe I need, or desire; or the godly man I believe God would have for me....I too believe in the power of God to change a life, yet I will not marry a life that is not changed already....I will not marry this man based upon what I invision he could be "In Christ," because the reality is he is not that.
 
Liamson said:
My grandfather once called him the Johnny Appleseed of women. Still to this day I cannot fathom what draws a woman to him.
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I think a lot of people (both male and female), like to pursue the family life but the fears they never address cause them to also want to be able to see a way out and avoid their lives becoming set in one circumstance, i.e. a stable long term relationship.

My best guess about the women who are drawn to that type of man is that they have the biological urges to have children but don't have the emotional desire or maturity for commitment and stability.
But during the early romance where they ride the wave of intense emotion they just fool themselves with the notion they can fix the guy or change his ways and he'll be different this time etc....and that they themselves will somehow beat their own fears without ever actually facing them.

Basically people who live this way like to have one foot in each world, the committed and stable, and the free to fly, going wherever the wind can take them, and so they seek each other out......and what results is a trail of human wreckage.
 
reading this thread and title, i remembered a nice passage that might suit this:

Matthew 7:1-5

"Judge not, that ye be not judged.
For with what judgement ye judge, ye shall be judged; and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brothers eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye; and behold, a beam is thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote of thy brothers eye."

we can all relate that we got beams in our eyes at one point and try to fix those small "errors" in others, and likewise others do the same, its a vicious circle!
 
Jullianna said:
How often do you watch your friends/relatives repeatedly choose to become involved with people who need “fixing”? And a lot of times THEY need fixing themselves! ‘Ever want to just grab them by the shoulders and shake some sense into them????

I talked with a relative last night over the phone who always ASKS for advice, but never listens…and now he’s jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire. And I’m supposed to know how to fix his relationship with the woman he just married who needs to be fixed… the extremely aggressive woman I said he shouldn’t marry because he is still in love with his ex-wife…

It takes healthy people to make a healthy relationship. Ladies, if a guy needs to constantly lean on YOU, how will he ever be the leader God has called him to be in a godly relationship with a christian woman? It’s great to feel needed, but understand that marriage takes two to make it work. Guys, if you keep trying to rescue the damsel in distress, eventually figure out that you can’t fix her and it was the romantic notion of doing so that drew you to her in the first place, then dump her, do you not realize that you are only adding to her issues…and YOURS? And if BOTH of you are struggling with unresolved issues……..do you really need another heartache on your list?

Don’t misunderstand. I don’t underestimate the power of God in anyone’s life. But I also know that God expects us to use some sense. He doesn’t want us running headlong into situations we are not prepared to handle. There can be life altering consequences.
If relationships are right, they will still be right when the parties are ready for them.






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Beautiful post!
 
Thanks, Nalu. That means a lot coming from someone I respect as much as you, Sir. :)
 
yes , its good post julliana and i really like what nalu said here ... GBU guys !!!
 
But wait! What if i really can fix him!? :D me thinks i can do ;)
 
nod ! u may try but it takes two for a dance ... he need to be willing to be dif ... if realationship not healthy then it will be not so easy to make things right ...i think ... and i do think person need to get healing first before going into other relationship ... but unfortunatly some ppl in a hurry and in the future it just brings more hurt to man and a woman .... patient is the key in this case i think no matter that its not so easy at times ......
 
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