I Don't Like Men

[selfdissolving]

Im not looking at others to be happy or because I'm condemning them or because I feel more righteous. I have been bullied, mocked, ridiculed, ostracized my entire life from "worldly" and "Christians" alike, for no reason. And no im not talking about what happened here recently. Other things too but that's besides the point. I have not been loved or treated with love. I am not bitter, I am hurt that people who claim to love, do not. I am not angry, I am hurt that people lie. I am not evil, I am hurt that I've been treated evil. I am not a monster, I am hurt that I am looked down like one. I am not unrighteous, I am hurt that I've been treated unrighteous. I am not so many other things I've been dealt with, I am hurt that people are oblivious to what loving your neighbor like yourself actually is. I am not being "sensitive", I am hurt that people mock, ridicule, are haughty and condescending just because, that's not being too "sensitive" it's wrong period.

I would much rather be in a third world country living in those conditions and potentially having valid reasons to be hurting and in even then id probably actually be happier than I am living in a privileged country mistreated by "privileged" people.

you cannot say that you hate all men, and then complain that other people are unloving. what you are saying is that they are just like you. so whats the problem? you are guilty of the same things you condemn everyone else for.

if you are feeling unloved, try being the one giving the love. if you don't like lying, be one who tells the truth. if you don't like being treated evil, don't treat others evil. instead of pointing the finger at everyone else and saying we are "oblivious to what loving your neighbor like yourself actually is", show us how to love our neighbors through your words and actions.

 

[melita916]

if you are feeling unloved, try being the one giving the love. if you don't like lying, be one who tells the truth. if you don't like being treated evil, don't treat others evil. instead of pointing the finger at everyone else and saying we are "oblivious to what loving your neighbor like yourself actually is", show us how to love our neighbors through your words and actions.

i was just thinking... when i gave my 2 weeks notice at work a couple of months ago, this is when i heard all my coworkers say super nice things to me about my work, how much they appreciated me, and how much they are going to miss me. it was nice to know i was appreciated, but it got me wondering why they waited til my last 2 weeks to tell me all these nice, encouraging things. after i left the job, i was talking to my husband about it... as in why do people wait to say encouraging things to one another. then he asked me, "did you encourage them while you were there?"

and i had to admit it... i never did. sure i said the regular thank you when someone did me a favor, but not once during my 2 years there did i encourage someone on a job well done or whatnots. so i have purposed in my heart that at my next job (wherever that is), i will try to encourage my coworkers on a regular basis and let them know i appreciate them.

we can't change other people. heck, we can't even change ourselves. only the Holy Spirit can change hearts. we just have to surrender to Him.

p.s. i'm grateful the Lord gave me a husband who challenges me. he could have easily sided with me, but instead, he asked me a question i needed to ask myself lol

 

[Ghoti2]

Tess knows how to raise "em.

 

[morefaithrequired]

this is a successful troll for sure
600 posts. congratulations..
but there was a nice phase you went through. thats all vanished

 

[Papou]

I have this huge, extreme, major, disgust disappoint of men. How do I get rid of this?

I am sure you have good reasons for that disgust of men ! No doubts about it ! This feleing will not go away in one day, be patient and look for better male friends.

 

[selfdissolving]

I am sure you have good reasons for that disgust of men ! No doubts about it ! This feleing will not go away in one day, be patient and look for better male friends.

^pandering to misandry, further undermining maleness

 

[morefaithrequired]

^pandering to misandry, further undermining maleness

thats the word i wanted to use...misandry.....get all the gals on side by playing on their disappointment list

 

[IFOLLOWHIM]

I love MEN! I look to their strength!

 

[morefaithrequired]

I love MEN! I look to their strength! View attachment 208366

im feeling quite manly right now!! 😁

 

[IFOLLOWHIM]

im feeling quite manly right now!! 😁

as you should be and all men everywhere!
men have attributes women do not and vice versa............we complement one another!

 

[morefaithrequired]

You make me feeel
You make me feeeel
you make me feeeeeel
like a natural .............
( doesnt quite work)

 

[tourist]

i was just thinking... when i gave my 2 weeks notice at work a couple of months ago, this is when i heard all my coworkers say super nice things to me about my work, how much they appreciated me, and how much they are going to miss me. it was nice to know i was appreciated, but it got me wondering why they waited til my last 2 weeks to tell me all these nice, encouraging things. after i left the job, i was talking to my husband about it... as in why do people wait to say encouraging things to one another. then he asked me, "did you encourage them while you were there?"

and i had to admit it... i never did. sure i said the regular thank you when someone did me a favor, but not once during my 2 years there did i encourage someone on a job well done or whatnots. so i have purposed in my heart that at my next job (wherever that is), i will try to encourage my coworkers on a regular basis and let them know i appreciate them.

we can't change other people. heck, we can't even change ourselves. only the Holy Spirit can change hearts. we just have to surrender to Him.

p.s. i'm grateful the Lord gave me a husband who challenges me. he could have easily sided with me, but instead, he asked me a question i needed to ask myself lol

It is a good thing to be an encouragement to others in the work place and that they are appreciated.

 

[VineyardsOfEngedi]

********************ONLY COMMENT IF YOU READ ENTIRE POST*****************


And if it’s something productive, not like before, thank you lol!

I had a conversation with my daughter that made me think about this thread and wanted to share. It went something like this:

Daughter: Mom, why do you think I don’t have a boyfriend? (so out of the blue)

Me: (I was taken aback, tried not to show it) Well, mija I can tell you why. It could be that the boys are expecting you to do certain things and you’re not giving in. It could be how you’re interacting with them. It could be that they can’t appreciate you. It can be many different reasons but it’s OK because it is not the right time.

* Blurred conversation*

And then :

* Warning: What I share next could offend the easily offended lol. I’m not sure how we started talking about it but this was another part of the conversation. (We have many conversations about many different things, I never had with my mother. I get shocked most of the time by her questions :/ ).

Daughter: A girl that shows cleavage doesn’t make her promiscuous ( I am using pg language).

Me: It very much does make her a ….

Daughter: NO, it doesn’t because she’s not doing anything physically sexual!

Me: OH, It sure does! Want me to tell you how?

Daughter: NO, it doesn’t! She’s just showing cleavage not sleeping around. Wearing a skirt doesn’t make a girl a …….!

Me: It definitely does and I will tell you how. Do you think that a woman who is not sleeping around or doing sexual things but is showing her breast all the way down here (gave example) or wears a skirt right below her butt cheek, is not a …….?

Daughter: OK, Yes I get it, It can.

* We had more discussion and said other things I’m only sharing what I recall *

Me: Mija, you don’t have to dress provocative to get a boyfriend, and if you think you have to there is something wrong.

Daughter: No, I know it’s just that it's different now.

Me: Oh, no, a …. In Jesus time, is the same today. No difference. Mija it is so much better if you wait for whoever God has for you and you will be happy that you did and he will be happy that you did, also.

Daughter: Yes I want to wait but no one is waiting for anyone now!

Me: That’s not true, I’m waiting!

Me: Mija you can believe that there is a guy waiting.

Daughter: NO they’re not! NO one is waiting. Where are they? Where are the guys that wait? What guys?

Me: That’s not true, I’m waiting!

Daughter: Oh, yea and who’s waiting for you ! NO one is waiting for you!

Me: That’s Ok, I just know I’m waiting for something.

Daughter: People only wait because of their experiences. Yea, mom, you’re only waiting cause of everything you’ve been through. I bet that if you were not a heifer and still skinny (she didn’t really say this lol but i’m making a contrast comparison) you wouldn’t be waiting.

Me: (Had an epiphany, paused for what seemed like forever but was only a second) You’re right, (I never considered myself pretty or boasted about my looks but I had moments of confidence, my mother has said that if I hadn’t gone through what I did, I would be proud) who knows with how many guys I would have slept with. Who knows where I would have ended up. I could have been into drugs, still drinking, not caring, partying, etc. You’re right, but I am thankful for everything because if I hadn’t gone through what I have I would not be here today, seeking and wanting God.

So I wanted to share this partial private, personal conversation I had with my daughter because while I am very much disappointed and disgusted by men and women alike for various reasons, I realize that maybe I needed to go through everything so that God can keep me humble and keep me inline for his purpose, for that I am thankful. Or who knows maybe had I taken a different route in life maybe he would have still reached out to me and I would have suffered far more than I have now? So many unanswered questions.

Anyways, I just wanted to share because it made me realize that while I have been hurt, I think the main purpose of this hurt was and is to keep me humble in order to seek him and can’t really hold anyone responsible? perspective.

 

[EliBeth]

********************ONLY COMMENT IF YOU READ ENTIRE POST*****************


And if it’s something productive, not like before, thank you lol!

I had a conversation with my daughter that made me think about this thread and wanted to share. It went something like this:

Daughter: Mom, why do you think I don’t have a boyfriend? (so out of the blue)

Me: (I was taken aback, tried not to show it) Well, mija I can tell you why. It could be that the boys are expecting you to do certain things and you’re not giving in. It could be how you’re interacting with them. It could be that they can’t appreciate you. It can be many different reasons but it’s OK because it is not the right time.

* Blurred conversation*

And then :

* Warning: What I share next could offend the easily offended lol. I’m not sure how we started talking about it but this was another part of the conversation. (We have many conversations about many different things, I never had with my mother. I get shocked most of the time by her questions :/ ).

Daughter: A girl that shows cleavage doesn’t make her promiscuous ( I am using pg language).

Me: It very much does make her a ….

Daughter: NO, it doesn’t because she’s not doing anything physically sexual!

Me: OH, It sure does! Want me to tell you how?

Daughter: NO, it doesn’t! She’s just showing cleavage not sleeping around. Wearing a skirt doesn’t make a girl a …….!

Me: It definitely does and I will tell you how. Do you think that a woman who is not sleeping around or doing sexual things but is showing her breast all the way down here (gave example) or wears a skirt right below her butt cheek, is not a …….?

Daughter: OK, Yes I get it, It can.

* We had more discussion and said other things I’m only sharing what I recall *

Me: Mija, you don’t have to dress provocative to get a boyfriend, and if you think you have to there is something wrong.

Daughter: No, I know it’s just that it's different now.

Me: Oh, no, a …. In Jesus time, is the same today. No difference. Mija it is so much better if you wait for whoever God has for you and you will be happy that you did and he will be happy that you did, also.

Daughter: Yes I want to wait but no one is waiting for anyone now!

Me: That’s not true, I’m waiting!

Me: Mija you can believe that there is a guy waiting.

Daughter: NO they’re not! NO one is waiting. Where are they? Where are the guys that wait? What guys?

Me: That’s not true, I’m waiting!

Daughter: Oh, yea and who’s waiting for you ! NO one is waiting for you!

Me: That’s Ok, I just know I’m waiting for something.

Daughter: People only wait because of their experiences. Yea, mom, you’re only waiting cause of everything you’ve been through. I bet that if you were not a heifer and still skinny (she didn’t really say this lol but i’m making a contrast comparison) you wouldn’t be waiting.

Me: (Had an epiphany, paused for what seemed like forever but was only a second) You’re right, (I never considered myself pretty or boasted about my looks but I had moments of confidence, my mother has said that if I hadn’t gone through what I did, I would be proud) who knows with how many guys I would have slept with. Who knows where I would have ended up. I could have been into drugs, still drinking, not caring, partying, etc. You’re right, but I am thankful for everything because if I hadn’t gone through what I have I would not be here today, seeking and wanting God.

So I wanted to share this partial private, personal conversation I had with my daughter because while I am very much disappointed and disgusted by men and women alike for various reasons, I realize that maybe I needed to go through everything so that God can keep me humble and keep me inline for his purpose, for that I am thankful. Or who knows maybe had I taken a different route in life maybe he would have still reached out to me and I would have suffered far more than I have now? So many unanswered questions.

Anyways, I just wanted to share because it made me realize that while I have been hurt, I think the main purpose of this hurt was and is to keep me humble in order to seek him and can’t really hold anyone responsible? perspective.

(I read your stipulation as "read" (past tense), as in you have to read the entire thread of 31 pages 😲. Then I figured it out: wrong tense. 🙂)

I've been thinking about you, Vineyards. I'm really glad to read your last sentence especially- though I did read the entire post. It may sound cliche and insensitive (tho by no means do I mean to be insensitive), but God can indeed turn horrible, painful, devastating circumstances around for good and bring about positive results. One way I know God does this is by using these people who had to go through hardship to mentor others who are going through a similar situation. And yes, He can teach us valuable lessons and build our character through them too. He may also teach onlookers a lesson or build their character. He may prove His faithfulness, etc. BUT, a lot of it depends on us- Will we comply? Will we be malleable clay? Will we trust His love, soverienty, plan, and wisdom when nothing makes any plain sense? He can be trusted. 🙂

He is not hard and uncaring toward our pain. Jesus is well acquainted with grief. (Isaiah 53:3) "The LORD is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18


V, yes, don't hold this person/these persons who hurt you in your heart with unforgiveness. In the end, it will have done you the most harm to remain bitter against him/them. Unforgiveness is like a constricting vine that drains the life, love, and joy out of someone. I have witnessed it's effect, and no truly good thing comes of it. Forgiveness is so liberating!! Relieving! And it is right according to God. 💛
"bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you." Colossians 3:13
And Matthew 6:14-15.


I know I do not understand what events have transpired in your life, and it is easy for me to say all that I have said. But, dear Vineyards, I am certain our Lord does not want you to live the rest of your life continuing to be in pain and torment from what has happened. Let Him bear your burden and give you peace instead. He is the Healer and He can heal you, Sister. 😊



I am so glad you are encouraging your daughter to abstain. I am concerned for young people. I'm praying for a generation of purity. Sexual immorality is another one of those constricting vines that wreak havoc. "Lord, please have mercy."

I hope your Christmas season is wonderful as we celebrate the birth of our Savior! ❤️

 

[DesertWanderer]

Anyways, I just wanted to share because it made me realize that while I have been hurt, I think the main purpose of this hurt was and is to keep me humble in order to seek him and can’t really hold anyone responsible? perspective.

My dear sister. I am so sorry you went through what you did. It's amazing the level of sin God's human creations can sometimes conjure up. When you look at people in history such as Genghis Khan, Marie Antoinette, Adolf Hitler and Joseph Stalin, you have to wonder how much of those horrible people used to reside in us before we gave our lives to Christ. I think the answer is clear in scripture:

As it is written: There is no one righteous, not even one. Rom 3:10

This is a hard reality to accept, but here it goes. You and I will never get over the hurt that people inflict on us intentionally. I liken it to a rotator cuff injury. It will always be with you. But the good news is you can choose to manage it. The way I manage my pain is three fold:

1. I'm constantly in my Bible. It's the way the Holy Spirit speaks to me. Even a good sermon is no match for the heeling power of God's written word. By the way, the audio version won't work. I've tried that. You have to actually read it.

2. I drive a lot on the job, so I am constantly listening to Christian radio. I know, a lot of it is absolute garbage, but at least they are praising the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. And every once in a while I will learn something.

3. Serve others. I know this may sound trite, but when you get outside of yourself and help others, you tend to forget about your own pain. I'm not talking about ushering or manning the welcome center at church. I'm talking about real human interaction. Try volunteering an hour per week at the local women's shelter, for example.

Also, I wanted to point out here that neither you or your daughter "need" men in your life. You have the Creator of the Universe, the all-knowing, all-powerful God as your best friend. What more is there? If and when He decides who you will have as a lifelong partner, it will be because of His will, not yours. Who better than God is qualified to choose the right man for you?

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7

"Submit to God and be at peace with him; in this way prosperity will come to you. Job 22:21

 

[VineyardsOfEngedi]

(I read your stipulation as "read" (past tense), as in you have to read the entire thread of 31 pages 😲. Then I figured it out: wrong tense. 🙂)

Yea, I meant the current one. Is there a different spelling? :/

I've been thinking about you, Vineyards. I'm really glad to read your last sentence especially- though I did read the entire post. It may sound cliche and insensitive (tho by no means do I mean to be insensitive), but God can indeed turn horrible, painful, devastating circumstances around for good and bring about positive results. One way I know God does this is by using these people who had to go through hardship to mentor others who are going through a similar situation. And yes, He can teach us valuable lessons and build our character through them too. He may also teach onlookers a lesson or build their character. He may prove His faithfulness, etc. BUT, a lot of it depends on us- Will we comply? Will we be malleable clay? Will we trust His love, soverienty, plan, and wisdom when nothing makes any plain sense? He can be trusted. 🙂

I know he can be trusted but i'm not really sure how that looks like, though maybe I have and do. Im not sure.

He is not hard and uncaring toward our pain. Jesus is well acquainted with grief. (Isaiah 53:3) "The LORD is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18

V, yes, don't hold this person/these persons who hurt you in your heart with unforgiveness. In the end, it will have done you the most harm to remain bitter against him/them. Unforgiveness is like a constricting vine that drains the life, love, and joy out of someone. I have witnessed it's effect, and no truly good thing comes of it. Forgiveness is so liberating!! Relieving! And it is right according to God. 💛
"bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you." Colossians 3:13
And Matthew 6:14-15.

I agree.

I know I do not understand what events have transpired in your life, and it is easy for me to say all that I have said. But, dear Vineyards, I am certain our Lord does not want you to live the rest of your life continuing to be in pain and torment from what has happened. Let Him bear your burden and give you peace instead. He is the Healer and He can heal you, Sister. 😊

I hear this a lot but how does someone do that? How do you give your burdens to Him? Stress is pounding at your door and can't catch your breath? How does leaving everything at his feet really look like? I really like what that great "Dane" (300lb and "Godly" thread 🤣) said about as a community bearing each other's burden and how culture and society has changed from how God really wanted it to be. Because if this is the case then I can see how you can leave it at his feet, makes more sense to me. Who knows maybe I'm dumb and clueless.

I am so glad you are encouraging your daughter to abstain. I am concerned for young people. I'm praying for a generation of purity. Sexual immorality is another one of those constricting vines that wreak havoc. "Lord, please have mercy."

Yes, she is my priority aside from God etc. And sadly yes promiscuity and sexual immorality physical, mental etc is rampant now a day's. 😞

I hope your Christmas season is wonderful as we celebrate the birth of our Savior! ❤️

I hope yours is too, thank you. 💒❄✨

 

[VineyardsOfEngedi]

My dear sister. I am so sorry you went through what you did. It's amazing the level of sin God's human creations can sometimes conjure up. When you look at people in history such as Genghis Khan, Marie Antoinette, Adolf Hitler and Joseph Stalin, you have to wonder how much of those horrible people used to reside in us before we gave our lives to Christ. I think the answer is clear in scripture:

As it is written: There is no one righteous, not even one. Rom 3:10

I don't claim to be holy or pretend to be a saint. I've had my share of sin, even the most trivial thing I can perceive the vileness and stench it reeks for myself. I do however try to live a righteous life in heart and spirit, seeking justice in all aspects.

This is a hard reality to accept, but here it goes. You and I will never get over the hurt that people inflict on us intentionally. I liken it to a rotator cuff injury. It will always be with you. But the good news is you can choose to manage it. The way I manage my pain is three fold:

1. I'm constantly in my Bible. It's the way the Holy Spirit speaks to me. Even a good sermon is no match for the heeling power of God's written word. By the way, the audio version won't work. I've tried that. You have to actually read it.

I agree, I don't really like the audio except if it's to sleep. I play the psalms audio sometimes. I've woken up cause my spirit is tugging at the words a few times actually.

2. I drive a lot on the job, so I am constantly listening to Christian radio. I know, a lot of it is absolute garbage, but at least they are praising the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. And every once in a while I will learn something.

I understand what you're saying and there may be some truth to this statement but I wonder, if a lot can be absolute garbage, how is it praising God etc? Sorry these are things I question for myself. How can praise and worship be with lies? I cannot comprehend this mentality and it seems to be christianity as a whole. Additionally, music in itself is another thing I question. There are clear straight forward music that one can call secular but what about there one's that seem "christian" and are really not? What makes music secular or "holy"? Is it the music.. notes etc.? Maybe I should post this in the music forum, just thinking out- loud. And yes there is always learning going on.

3. Serve others. I know this may sound trite, but when you get outside of yourself and help others, you tend to forget about your own pain. I'm not talking about ushering or manning the welcome center at church. I'm talking about real human interaction. Try volunteering an hour per week at the local women's shelter, for example.

Yes, this is when I was the most happiest, helping others. Sadly my "brothers and sisters" shunned me so I've stepped back but I do intend to start again. I have yet to interact at a women's shelter. I will look into this 😊.

Also, I wanted to point out here that neither you or your daughter "need" men in your life. You have the Creator of the Universe, the all-knowing, all-powerful God as your best friend. What more is there? If and when He decides who you will have as a lifelong partner, it will be because of His will, not yours. Who better than God is qualified to choose the right man for you?

You're absolutely right, I know for a fact we do not need guys to be happy or fulfilled. I have been single for the past 11 years and I've only gotten through because of Him. I try and make this clear and simple for my daughter. But it is hard when im pushing and sharing and talking about God being enough when everything and everyone goes against me. And she has first hand experience about being disillusioned and disappointed in men, just this past Sunday her "dad" texted her saying that his graduation ceremony was very special and important to him and wanted her to be there. What about the past 10 years 9 months he's stood her up? What about all the birthdays he's missed? What about the father's days he's promised to be there and is not? She felt bad she didn't go. I told her to not let him guilt trip her or manipulate her, thankfully she got over it quick. While I completely agree that God is all knowing, merciful, compassionate, etc it has been extremely difficult to show her that yes God is our best friend and so on, if that makes sense.

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7

"Submit to God and be at peace with him; in this way prosperity will come to you. Job 22:21

I try to submit, i'm not sure if I'm doing it right, maybe not, who knows. 😒

 

[Locoponydirtman]

********************ONLY COMMENT IF YOU READ ENTIRE POST*****************


And if it’s something productive, not like before, thank you lol!

I had a conversation with my daughter that made me think about this thread and wanted to share. It went something like this:

Daughter: Mom, why do you think I don’t have a boyfriend? (so out of the blue)

Me: (I was taken aback, tried not to show it) Well, mija I can tell you why. It could be that the boys are expecting you to do certain things and you’re not giving in. It could be how you’re interacting with them. It could be that they can’t appreciate you. It can be many different reasons but it’s OK because it is not the right time.

* Blurred conversation*

And then :

* Warning: What I share next could offend the easily offended lol. I’m not sure how we started talking about it but this was another part of the conversation. (We have many conversations about many different things, I never had with my mother. I get shocked most of the time by her questions :/ ).

Daughter: A girl that shows cleavage doesn’t make her promiscuous ( I am using pg language).

Me: It very much does make her a ….

Daughter: NO, it doesn’t because she’s not doing anything physically sexual!

Me: OH, It sure does! Want me to tell you how?

Daughter: NO, it doesn’t! She’s just showing cleavage not sleeping around. Wearing a skirt doesn’t make a girl a …….!

Me: It definitely does and I will tell you how. Do you think that a woman who is not sleeping around or doing sexual things but is showing her breast all the way down here (gave example) or wears a skirt right below her butt cheek, is not a …….?

Daughter: OK, Yes I get it, It can.

* We had more discussion and said other things I’m only sharing what I recall *

Me: Mija, you don’t have to dress provocative to get a boyfriend, and if you think you have to there is something wrong.

Daughter: No, I know it’s just that it's different now.

Me: Oh, no, a …. In Jesus time, is the same today. No difference. Mija it is so much better if you wait for whoever God has for you and you will be happy that you did and he will be happy that you did, also.

Daughter: Yes I want to wait but no one is waiting for anyone now!

Me: That’s not true, I’m waiting!

Me: Mija you can believe that there is a guy waiting.

Daughter: NO they’re not! NO one is waiting. Where are they? Where are the guys that wait? What guys?

Me: That’s not true, I’m waiting!

Daughter: Oh, yea and who’s waiting for you ! NO one is waiting for you!

Me: That’s Ok, I just know I’m waiting for something.

Daughter: People only wait because of their experiences. Yea, mom, you’re only waiting cause of everything you’ve been through. I bet that if you were not a heifer and still skinny (she didn’t really say this lol but i’m making a contrast comparison) you wouldn’t be waiting.

Me: (Had an epiphany, paused for what seemed like forever but was only a second) You’re right, (I never considered myself pretty or boasted about my looks but I had moments of confidence, my mother has said that if I hadn’t gone through what I did, I would be proud) who knows with how many guys I would have slept with. Who knows where I would have ended up. I could have been into drugs, still drinking, not caring, partying, etc. You’re right, but I am thankful for everything because if I hadn’t gone through what I have I would not be here today, seeking and wanting God.

So I wanted to share this partial private, personal conversation I had with my daughter because while I am very much disappointed and disgusted by men and women alike for various reasons, I realize that maybe I needed to go through everything so that God can keep me humble and keep me inline for his purpose, for that I am thankful. Or who knows maybe had I taken a different route in life maybe he would have still reached out to me and I would have suffered far more than I have now? So many unanswered questions.

Anyways, I just wanted to share because it made me realize that while I have been hurt, I think the main purpose of this hurt was and is to keep me humble in order to seek him and can’t really hold anyone responsible? perspective.

My son who is 20 has waited.
He hasn't even bothered to try and date. He says he has no time for it right now. He said one day, why do I need a girlfriend right now? So I can neglect her like the other guys do?
He said, that's not fair to her.
My 14 year old boy said one day, oh yes I want to have a girlfriend... Lol, what's going to happen? Mom or Dad is going to drive us on a date? He said I'll wait until it's time then when I am ready to look for a wife I will date.
There are boys who wait. There are men still waiting.

 

[paisleypanther]

Dear @VineyardsOfEngedi,

I understand your feelings. I don't think your hatred is coming from a place of self-righteousness or anything like that. It seems instead that you have been very hurt by some of men in your life. As women, we are very vulnerable to violence inflicted by men (whether it be sexual, physical, emotional, etc). It becomes very hard to love or trust men when it seems like all they're trying to do is take advantage of us. I might get some backlash for this, but I believe your feelings are valid. It is completely understandable that you may feel endangered or disgusted by men if you have had awful past experiences. I'm sure this is especially distressing to you because you have a daughter who is starting to date.

I have experienced a lot of hatred for men in my own life. I had an emotionally abusive father and my sister is a CSA survivor. Men have the power to hurt our bodies and minds and I hate that. A lot of the hatred you (and many other women) feel may be a result of trust issues. You don't trust men with yourself and you certainly don't trust them to treat your daughter right. There are some very wonderful men. There are also some really rotten men. I believe that, through prayer and trusting in Jesus, He will bless you with the ability to discern the intentions of men you encounter. We are women. Our bodies are a precious gift but they are also vulnerable. It makes perfect sense for you to have your guard up. But I believe trusting God will allow you to regain trust and love for some men. Not all of them, but the good ones.

 

[morefaithrequired]

There are some very wonderful men.

thanks ……..