I Dyed My Hair Chartruese and Lost 80 Lbs. (trying to please a significant other.)

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seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#1
May 23, 2009
17,553
6,358
113
#1
Hey Everybody,

I know we are all supposed to look at inner beauty and the unique way God makes us... but we're human and face less-than-perfect real-life situations and pressures everyday.

What have you done in the past to change yourself, your life, or your appearance in order to try to please someone you were dating or interested in? This can be for the good or the bad--maybe some people, for example, started getting closer to God because they were dating someone who was more spiritually on fire than they were... Or maybe someone made you really self-conscious about something that you actively tried to change, got involved in certain groups or activities that were not you at all, etc.

What lessons did you learn, and what would you do differently now?

When I was about 14, a guy I was interested in made a comment about my weight... which, as you can imagine, was not very helpful. But I'd like to think I'm better now and more interested in being healthy than being someone's ideal size.

I also had a boyfriend in my late 20's who told me, "You know how you sometimes wear your hair in (those two Pippi Longstocking-like braids)? Yeah... I don't really like it."

"Oh, ok," I replied... and proceeded to wear my hair like that for the next week. (Yeah, it was a bad relationship anyway that I should have never pursued... here's to learning from past mistakes!)

How about you?
 
F

FixYourWeave

Guest
#2
#2
Men say the stupidest things to women. You will rarely if ever hear a woman complaining to a man about his weight or his hair or how he dresses. For some reason though men feel it necessary to point out every flaw on a woman.

Kim, i myself have had men say things to me about my weight (even though i have always been thin) they would say things like... Your really thin but if you lost ten pounds you would look ALOT better!! Or this one is my favorite. I go out to this resturant with this guy im dating and he says.. wow your really getting fat. As he proceeds to go to the table next to mine and ask this girl who is bigger than me for her phone number.

I've been critized for my hair color, how long it is how short it is. And you know what, Honestly. The hell with them... if they dont like the way i look. then dont look at me
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#3
May 23, 2009
17,553
6,358
113
#3
FixYourWeave said:
Men say the stupidest things to women. You will rarely if ever hear a woman complaining to a man about his weight or his hair or how he dresses. For some reason though men feel it necessary to point out every flaw on a woman.

Kim, i myself have had men say things to me about my weight (even though i have always been thin) they would say things like... Your really thin but if you lost ten pounds you would look ALOT better!! Or this one is my favorite. I go out to this resturant with this guy im dating and he says.. wow your really getting fat. As he proceeds to go to the table next to mine and ask this girl who is bigger than me for her phone number.

I've been critized for my hair color, how long it is how short it is. And you know what, Honestly. The hell with them... if they dont like the way i look. then dont look at me
Click to expand...

FYW, you truly made me smile. :) I can always count on you!! And I'm VERY sorry that guys have treated you that way. If nothing else, I guess it makes us have to really look at who we are... and decide to stick to our guns.

Please feel free to share your own stories everyone!

And I'd be interested in hearing from the guys as well... do you have any stories of how women have wanted you to change?
 
M

Matthew

Guest
#4
#4
I've never done anything to change myself at a partners request, but in a wider sense I have given in to peer pressure and the idea that it was good to meet someone else's expectation, which in broad terms is the same thing.

I grew up and learned that it's wrong to do it and is also unhealthy, especially in an age where an appealing image is sometimes held up as the gold standard of human accomplishment, if someone asked me to do anything like that I'd leave things there, it's a big red flag and it speaks to the fact that the person asking me to change has some more maturing to do before they're ready for a relationship with someone like me.
 
Sharp

Sharp

Senior Member
#5
May 5, 2009
2,570
24
38
#5
Well I have the opposite kind of story.

One time I wanted to let this girl go but I didn't want to hurt her feelings. I knew she HATED sideburns so I grew some massive sideburns hoping she would dump me, but she still didn't take the hint. So I had to let her go.
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#6
May 23, 2009
17,553
6,358
113
#6
Sharp said:
Well I have the opposite kind of story.

One time I wanted to let this girl go but I didn't want to hurt her feelings. I knew she HATED sideburns so I grew some massive sideburns hoping she would dump me, but she still didn't take the hint. So I had to let her go.
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Oh, the sacrifices people make... "massive sideburns"?

Sharp, you have some of the funniest posts!!! :D Yeah... I guess if I really like the guy, I'd be like, eh... I can accept him as is, burly sideburns and all...
 
M

Maddog

Guest
#7
#7
FixYourWeave said:
Men say the stupidest things to women. You will rarely if ever hear a woman complaining to a man about his weight or his hair or how he dresses. For some reason though men feel it necessary to point out every flaw on a woman.
Click to expand...
Nah, not every flaw as we'd be here all day. Just the ones we know she's most concerned about in order to make her overly self conscious and drastically lower her self esteem.
 
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