G
gia
Guest
grrr I made the mistake of doing that last week
....no one ever texts mei fall in love way too easily
- Thread starter ijustwanttheTruth
- Start date
-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
....no one ever texts me
How depressing. haha
To the OP: So if you know that it's probably not the wisest thing to get involved with whoever the person is that you're crushing on/in love with, then recognize and accept your feelings (btw, feelings shouldn't be the driving force in our decision making, but it's good to recognize them because they're often an indication of where our heart and mind are.) and carry on. Find other things that matter to you and are important to fill your thought life with so as not to obsess over the situation or that special person. Obsessing is never good or healthy.Unless you're a professional stalker or something...
I have a tendency to think of all of the negative aspects of a possible relationship and then totally back off. Also not a good idea. It tends to make one a bit pessimistic and hopeless. Sad, but true.
Hopeful, excited and wise are good! Obsessive or pessimistic are both bad. lol
hmmm, maybe if its only one-sided, however --- I enjoy mutual obsession ...
Sorry, but I am having trouble understanding all this. Why must you allow yourself to drown in emotions, and that too for the wrong person (someone that you have no future with)...and then think about how the relationship is not going to last, and then back off???? And all this just to enjoy that surge of hormone-induced emotion?
We are, no doubt, hardwired to be attracted towards the opposite sex. Being attracted to someone is a God-given tendency, with a purpose. The purpose is to find a spouse. So this feeling of attraction is a means to an end. Allowing oneself to get sucked into an infatuation just because one is lonely does not make sense. Above all, a few such elated experiences may alter us at the subconscious level in such a way that we may no longer recognize when the right person comes along.
Dating is OK for a single person. It is also OK to think, "I wish he or she could be my husband or wife," when we see a god-loving person. How else will we end up finding a spouse? However, getting emotionally hooked up with anyone who looks or sounds impressive is not advisable.
Now, when we talk about the wrong person (or the one whom we do not have a future with), I presume that we are talking about a celebrity or a non-believer or a married colleague or the like. Going gaga over a celebrity's performance (or being their fan) is one thing, but having a crush on them is another. There is a thin line that differentiates between having a crush and falling in love. These terms are often used interchangeably. These aren't as harmless as we make them to be. Love (godly love) is a verb and not a noun. When we say, "Falling in love" or "Having a crush" we're referring to nouns, and these are conditions of the heart.
Ijustwantthetruth,
How I appreciate your childlike honesty! May God fill that void in your heart with his goodness.
I can relate to the OP --- I find however, I can be aloof and easy-going until things get deeper, then ...things can get intense...
...the other side of the coin is; if people are 'too careful', refrigerated and indrawn, they tend to desensitize themselves I think over time to the point that they lack passion and fire --- and one wonders what their errrr intimate life in a marriage would end up being, esp. for the poor male...
...such people tend to develop an aura of 'unapproachability' that you can sense and subconsciously just steer clear of; and when you identify all this, the hoops you feel you have to jump through and angles you have to bend over backwards to start having some semblance of a relationship is hardly worth it...
...I prefer the 'fatal obsession' element, for want of ' better words' - when its mutual and sustained...
...I don't want a relationship 'in triplicate' where I have to dot all the i's and cross all the 't's' and ensure I meet someones intellectual relationship standard...Sure, there are certain qualities, character and attributes that I look for in a person - very much so, but to have a cold calculating attitude, just lacks the fire and passion I like to see in a person that draws me to them...
...I like to see fire in a womans eyes, after seeing she has character --- not watch her tick off her list splitting hairs at any issue --- which leads to a resultant lead blanket effect...That in itself makes me automatically steer clear, as I see this as an 'issue creating' person...
...such people tend to develop an aura of 'unapproachability' that you can sense and subconsciously just steer clear of; and when you identify all this, the hoops you feel you have to jump through and angles you have to bend over backwards to start having some semblance of a relationship is hardly worth it...
...I prefer the 'fatal obsession' element, for want of ' better words' - when its mutual and sustained...
...I don't want a relationship 'in triplicate' where I have to dot all the i's and cross all the 't's' and ensure I meet someones intellectual relationship standard...Sure, there are certain qualities, character and attributes that I look for in a person - very much so, but to have a cold calculating attitude, just lacks the fire and passion I like to see in a person that draws me to them...
...I like to see fire in a womans eyes, after seeing she has character --- not watch her tick off her list splitting hairs at any issue --- which leads to a resultant lead blanket effect...That in itself makes me automatically steer clear, as I see this as an 'issue creating' person...
Last edited:
...I think it would be a good idea for some to read 'Song of Solomon' periodically...
...take note, that the Patriarchs and great men of the bible, were typically very spiritual -and- very passionate men... (unless they were eunuchs - who had a different kind of passion) ... usually having more than one wife, and those such as Jacob, who was overwhelmed with Rachel that he worked 14 years for her..., that is passion - that is fire - that is life and love ...
...take note, that the Patriarchs and great men of the bible, were typically very spiritual -and- very passionate men... (unless they were eunuchs - who had a different kind of passion) ... usually having more than one wife, and those such as Jacob, who was overwhelmed with Rachel that he worked 14 years for her..., that is passion - that is fire - that is life and love ...
R
Rose_of_tranquility
Guest
I like this answer and what Liamson said. I have a questions for you both. If we have the
ability to choose whether we fall in love or not, then do we also have the ability to make
ourselves fall in love or out of love?
R
Rose_of_tranquility
Guest
I very rarely meet someone who grabs my attention and monopolizes my thoughts, but it happens.
I handle it much like Catlynn..I rationalize. If I know the person is not a Christian or would be bad for me in some other way, I put as much distance between myself and that person as possible. It's my only hope because when I fall, I fall hard.
I know you are incredibly lonely, Keren, but you can make very serious mistakes out of loneliness. Life changing mistakes that affect you and others in ways you may not even know about. That's a lot to carry around.
Praying..
This is me...
I
iTOREtheSKY
Guest
Well..if we have free will ,which God gave us..of course we always have a choice to draw near or pull away from anyone or anything. If someone has fallen in love with another person & it's true love,certainly they can push that love away,sever themselves from it..run from it...harden their hearts from that love if that's what they choose. They will be absolutely miserable I think in the end though. I feel that it comes down to being responsible & owning up to our emotions & feelings that's all. Of course you can be attracted to someone...fall in love with their personality,their heart,their smile,their mind...whatever & it may be an unexpected thing that this happens,but we choose to pursue it. No one forces us to do so. I dunno if I answered your question,but that's how I feel on the matter. I'm not saying I am right or wrong. I just have to go with my heart & trust God I am making the right decision,and as I am submitted to Him,then I'll have that peace that comes with "falling in love".
I would say quite the opposite. To me, a "crush" or attraction would be what you described as a flood of emotions and being attached to a person.
Love is a more than that. Love is selfless, patient, kind. It isn't jealous, it doesn't boast. It protects, hopes, and trusts. Those are more than just a flood of feelings. I believe feelings go along with love, but also what I just said, which came from 1 Corinthians 13. I know that that seems cliche, but think about it. When someone says "I love you" to me, I don't want them to mean "I have these butterfly feelings for you, you make my heart melt", I want them to mean "I want to protect you, I trust you, I hope for you, I am patient and kind to you. And I mean it and I strive for it, even when it's hard."
That, to me, is love. It is commitment; it is both a mixture of choice and feeling, one that is hard to describe. That's my take on it. It doesn't have to be romantic, though romantic feelings can certainly go with it, and I know that is the type of love you are talking about, but I still think it applies.
R
Rose_of_tranquility
Guest
Yes, but can we make ourselves fall in love with someone who is in love with us or
fall out of love with someone who we no longer are with?
I
iTOREtheSKY
Guest
I have no idea,you'd have to find out 1st hand for yourself..I've never been in that position so I can't answer you.
R
Rose_of_tranquility
Guest
I'm not asking to find out.lol
I am asking your view point based upon what you typed in the thread.
I think it is a good question.
I
iTOREtheSKY
Guest
I
iTOREtheSKY
Guest
Yer' asking me a question I have never dealt with,thus I have no opinion on it,nor does the bible,so how am I supposed to answer...on what basis do I make my choice?
R
Rose_of_tranquility
Guest
R
Rose_of_tranquility
Guest
Now Tore and I understand each other.lol
For those who might not know, when I highlighted in purple the part of Jullianna's
post, that was the part that I was saying was totally me.
As to my question about making ourselves fall in or out of love, I am referring to
if you were married to someone as some here have been, are you capable of
making yourselves fall out of love with them.
For those who might not know, when I highlighted in purple the part of Jullianna's
post, that was the part that I was saying was totally me.
As to my question about making ourselves fall in or out of love, I am referring to
if you were married to someone as some here have been, are you capable of
making yourselves fall out of love with them.