i fall in love way too easily

[ijustwanttheTruth]

This is a loving response from the heart of a big brother in Christ who knows the person to whom it was directed very well. Thank you for boldly sharing your heart, Gabe. You remind me of Paul, who knew the definition of love, but also knew that truth must sometimes be told boldly with tough love. I know this was difficult for you to write and I pray that thoughtful consideration will be given to it and that at some point it will be accepted in the Spirit in which it was offered.

this is not tough love. this is utter foolishness. he's just defending nod bc he already likes her. she didn't actually say anything constructive. not even remotely constructive in that message. and YOU! you are one to talk julianna!

YOU stubbornly rebuked me on ANOTHER thread of mine. and you know what? i never actually did come to you in private to make ammends with you. i just kind of let it go. but YOU were also wrong. just like nod is wrong. only your motives were better.

gabe's heart towards me is not wrong. but his opinions are.
and i have no problem stating that.

i did not throw a tantrum on this thread in any way shape or form. i did not admit to being in sin or even of wrongful thinking patterns. and YOU rebuked me bc YOU were offended at a term i used!

there was NOT enough objective evidence AT ALL to support you for trying to scold me publicly.
that was very wrong.

and you are wrong here too. all of you who are just taking nod's side bc you know her and like her. i DON'T know her. and after seeing what a horrible attitude she has i do NOT WANT to know her.

you guys claim to love God but your actions do NOT show it.

especially you doug.
i can't believe you would post a mocking picture as if i was being a crybaby when in actuality i responded in a VERY CALM and respectable manner.

only fools mock. you guys have made your hearts more than visible.

 

[ijustwanttheTruth]

As much as I agree with pieces of your post, I think this came off as quite objectionable and insulting. First, I haven't seen her speak to actually ACTING on these feelings, but just ask if anyone could relate. You could have left out the nastiness and gotten your point across much better. Just saying...


Wait a sec. Sorry to come here as a newbie arguing, but wait just a sec. Love is a CHOICE to be IMPARTIAL and OBJECTIVE.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." There are conscious decisions involved here, and not ones that involve choosing which "love of my life" we marry. It's about choosing to COMMIT to a person for life, even if they misbehave.

I love this post. Aside from the fact that this is very practical advice, it meshes with Scripture beautifully. Great post!



Ya know, I'm not a frequent poster here, just been really a lurker here for awhile, but this thread really set me off. Seriously, the OP reads as someone just trying to get feedback for what they are going through, and responses like this come in? Why though? Smothered to death? Why?

Teach a person how to walk with God, and they will learn how to cope with feelings like this. You can't teach a person to walk with God by telling them you feel smothered to death. And, in fact, if you respond by telling them they're ridiculous, you are actually showing just how NOT capable of teaching them you actually are.

Who knows how to cope with what she's going through? I've gone through the same thing, partially because I have asperger's which makes me lock and load on nearly everyone I meet, male or female.

I apologize to those who have responded kindly, this post was not meant to speak out against them. Just those who were mean.

love this. i think i'm in love with you too ^_^
i also have aspergers and it definitely affects the way i relate to people.
i want to be closer to them (all of them) than i should.

not to mention years of isolation and living in my bedroom by myself with no real friends to speak of.

people on this thread have not seen my existence, walked in my shoes, or experienced the loneliness i have. i think if they had, they would have treated me different. no one knows what it feels like to be me. yet they talk as if they have valuable life advice.

that was soooooo not appreciated.

i feel like you get it though. thanks for speaking up on my behalf.
you have given me back a piece of my initial hope in humanity

 

[ijustwanttheTruth]

also. special shout out those on here to came to me privately to tell me they believed nod's and liamson's behavior to be wrong and uncalled for. i really appreciate that.

 

[ijustwanttheTruth]

[video=youtube;BmUL72dIbTA]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmUL72dIbTA[/video]

 

[ijustwanttheTruth]

[video=youtube;fk_YSO0py7s]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fk_YSO0py7s[/video]

 

[PreciousMe]

awwwww.....

 

[zeroturbulence]

this is not tough love. this is utter foolishness. he's just defending nod bc he already likes her. she didn't actually say anything constructive. not even remotely constructive in that message.

gabe's heart towards me is not wrong. but his opinions are.
and i have no problem stating that.

..all of you who are just taking nod's side bc you know her and like her. i DON'T know her. and after seeing what a horrible attitude she has i do NOT WANT to know her.

Wrong. Wrong. And wrong.

I don't even know where to begin with that, Keren. First of all, I'm not smitten with Nod (and she's about half my age! Hello??), and even if I was smitten with her, I would never defend someone who was bullying you or being mean to you in any way. Most of the people here have no idea what this is really about.

I tried to be very gentle with what I said to you in here but you just label me as a bully like you did with Nod even after she apologized. If that is how you are going to be then please do me a favor and never mention me or my name again because I no longer care what happens to you. I could see from the short time I've known you that you are on a self-destructive path of depression, isolation and loneliness and I was only hoping to help by pointing out the truth in what Nod said. But hey, its really none of my business right? Fine. Have a nice life.

 

[ijustwanttheTruth]

Wrong. Wrong. And wrong.

I don't even know where to begin with that, Keren. First of all, I'm not smitten with Nod (and she's about half my age! Hello??), and even if I was smitten with her, I would never defend someone who was bullying you or being mean to you in any way. Most of the people here have no idea what this is really about.

I tried to be very gentle with what I said to you in here but you just label me as a bully like you did with Nod even after she apologized. If that is how you are going to be then please do me a favor and never mention me or my name again because I no longer care what happens to you. I could see from the short time I've known you that you are on a self-destructive path of depression, isolation and loneliness and I was only hoping to help by pointing out the truth in what Nod said. But hey, its really none of my business right? Fine. Have a nice life.

achem. apologize? you can't be serious. she did not offer a sincere apology at all! but rather a second insult!

i didnt say smitten gabe. i did not mean you had a crush on her. i meant you guys are already friends so you're going to like whatever she has to say even if it's evil. it's not about gentle. you are supporting her in her attack and failing to see that the way she spoke to me is mean and wrong.

not to mention uninvited, unwarranted and unconstructive. but more than unconstructive? her attitude is actually DEstructive. i can't believe you guys can't see that.

 

[zeroturbulence]

achem. apologize? you can't be serious. she did not offer a sincere apology at all! but rather a second insult!

i didnt say smitten gabe. i did not mean you had a crush on her. i meant you guys are already friends so you're going to like whatever she has to say even if it's evil. it's not about gentle. you are supporting her in her attack and failing to see that the way she spoke to me is mean and wrong.

not to mention uninvited, unwarranted and unconstructive. but more than unconstructive? her attitude is actually DEstructive. i can't believe you guys can't see that.

Did you happen to notice that there were about 10 other people who "Liked" Nod's post that you say is nothing but a bunch of insulting jibberish??? Why do you think that is? Do CC'ers just "Like" mean posts now, Keren? Did we all just get together and say lets gang up on Keren?

Or is it that maybe...JUST MAYBE there is actually SOME TRUTH to what she said.

 

[ijustwanttheTruth]

Did you happen to notice that there were about 10 other people who "Liked" Nod's post that you say is nothing but a bunch of insulting jibberish??? Why do you think that is? Do CC'ers just "Like" mean posts now, Keren?

Or is it that maybe...JUST MAYBE there is actually SOME TRUTH to what she said.

apparently they DO!
no. there is no truth in what she said. but even more than content. her attitude is completely devoid of truth. i am just flabbergasted at your responses- some of you. ya know what? maybe i should just close the thread. obviously communication over the internet is a fail no matter what.

 

[zeroturbulence]

Ok I'll admit that the tone of Nod's post was harsh, I'll give you that, but there is truth to what she said...and THAT is what I was gently trying to point out. That is why I said "As a friend, and for what its worth....". I didn't just come out and say "You're wrong and she's right". But that doesn't seem to matter to you since you just think I'm siding with her so I am going to stop wasting my time in this thread. Goodbye.

And don't feel you have to close this thread because of me. I'm outta here.

 

[ijustwanttheTruth]

her opinions don't even apply to me. if they had even read what i said in the thread, they would have seen i was not remotely doing or acting upon ANYTHING that requires reprimanding.
completely uncalled for.

 

[Liamson]

ESFj uncovered "When It's Not Perfect"




She has like 9 posts talking crap about what Nod said in one.


Just say what you have to say and be done with it. Anything else is being on your high horse and beating a dead one.

but it continues, and it continues.

[video=youtube;1H-Y7MAASkg]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1H-Y7MAASkg[/video]

 

[zeroturbulence]

her opinions don't even apply to me. if they had even read what i said in the thread, they would have seen i was not remotely doing or acting upon ANYTHING that requires reprimanding.
completely uncalled for.

It actually has nothing to do with this thread. It has everything to do with your life and what you are going through, Keren. Nod basically said you can either sit at home and continue to be dramatic online about your feelings of loneliness, depression and misery or you can do yourself a big favor and try to find a way to help people and channel all that pent up energy into something that will make you feel good about yourself and your life. That's what all this is really about. That's the truth in her post that I was trying to get you to see.

 

[AzureAfire]

Ok, i seriously hope and pray that everything gets resolved here peacefully very soon....

It's sad when misunderstandings like this get really out of hand...

Yes, indeed, Nod gave well meaning suggestions. But she could've said them in a gentler manner...that's what was wrong. How the message was conveyed, not the message itself. And when she gave her supposed "apology"....it made things worse 'coz it was followed by a sarcastic remark. I believe that's what really made things uglier here.

As for Keren, you couldn't blame her entirely that she really got affected. She has trouble dealing with her emotions as of now. It's clear when she started this thread. That's why she was asking for advice. We can't assume that she's just being bullheaded, and refusing to be led. She's really lost right now...when people are like this, you can't just tell them that they are being pathetic for choosing to feel the way they do. Sometimes we can get careless like that...making it sound so easy when we're not the one in the position of weakness and confusion. But they don't need to hear fluff from us either. What they need is sincerity, encouragement and patience. As Keren is now, she has discredited Nod's initial post entirely 'coz of Nod's follow-up post. I bet if Nod held her temper and didn't add sarcasm in her follow-up post, Keren would have seen her initial post in a better light. When someone's upset, they couldn't help but focus on the hurt until it's all vented out, or until both parties get to sit down and talk it out calmly. It's just like not getting any closure from a failed relationship...even though you want to move on, it's tough for you to do so 'coz you keep thinking about it, and trying to figure out what went wrong, specially on your side of the issue. But yes, she does need to get over this...and over all, with her emotional struggles at present. She is struggling right now. She needs GOD to lead her out of this.

Both parties have been offended, no doubt about that. What's needed now is for both parties to calm down, cast aside their pride and start talking.

Let's pray for them, guys. Let's be more understanding about this. I know that you guys care, 'coz if you didn't, you wouldn't bother posting on this thread anymore. We all care for each other because we are brethren. Not any kind of fighting can change that GOD is the one that binds us together in love.

 

[Jullianna]

this is not tough love. this is utter foolishness. he's just defending nod bc he already likes her. she didn't actually say anything constructive. not even remotely constructive in that message. and YOU! you are one to talk julianna!

YOU stubbornly rebuked me on ANOTHER thread of mine. and you know what? i never actually did come to you in private to make ammends with you. i just kind of let it go. but YOU were also wrong. just like nod is wrong. only your motives were better.

gabe's heart towards me is not wrong. but his opinions are.
and i have no problem stating that.

i did not throw a tantrum on this thread in any way shape or form. i did not admit to being in sin or even of wrongful thinking patterns. and YOU rebuked me bc YOU were offended at a term i used!

there was NOT enough objective evidence AT ALL to support you for trying to scold me publicly.
that was very wrong.

and you are wrong here too. all of you who are just taking nod's side bc you know her and like her. i DON'T know her. and after seeing what a horrible attitude she has i do NOT WANT to know her.

you guys claim to love God but your actions do NOT show it.

especially you doug.
i can't believe you would post a mocking picture as if i was being a crybaby when in actuality i responded in a VERY CALM and respectable manner.

only fools mock. you guys have made your hearts more than visible.

I'm going to let your words speak for themselves, Keren. Everyone reading what I have posted here, free of malice, has also seen the tantrum you have been having for a couple of days now. Some folks simply don't yet realize that some of us (who genuinely do care) have been watching this happen over and over for almost a year now, here and in other places.

With all of the love of God that is in me I pray that you will seriously seek counseling. There is some sort of emotionally immature disconnect at play here. God can heal it, but only when it is recognized and dealt with. In spite of your venom, with all of my heart I pray you receive the guidance and healing you need before you irreparably damage your life or the lives of others.

For my part, I need to stop reading and posting here, as you are clearly not prepared to accept my words or anyone else's who don't line up with your own. No matter what is said at this point and no matter the intent behind it, it will only be twisted.

Please get help.

 

[TigerScent777]

ESFj uncovered "When It's Not Perfect"




She has like 9 posts talking crap about what Nod said in one.


Just say what you have to say and be done with it. Anything else is being on your high horse and beating a dead one.

but it continues, and it continues.

... why 'continue' with what will just add more harm to her feelings? its the abrasive element; how the 'message' is being communicated - not so much the content ... that is affecting her ...

 

[Ariel82]

wow this thread has deevolved into hurt emotions.



I just wanted to say that loving other people is a good thing. however trying to become attached to people because they feel a empty "hole" inside of you is not a good idea.

Because men can't feel that empty hole. Only GOD can.

The world lies and says you have to have a man or woman to "complete" you and your life, but you don't need another person. You need God.

Relationships are about two whole and already complete people choosing to spend a lifetime together.

I dislike the term "falling in love" because as someone has already pointed out its not really about love at all but infatuation, lust and fleshly attachment. When we as Christians talk about love it should be by God's standards, not the world's concept of "love" which is more often referring to lusts.

I think it is a good thing to want to make connections with other people, to love them and want to understand and see to their happiness. THere is more to life than romantic love. that is something special that should be shared with only one person. HOwever true love, the love God wants us to have for all people should be an agape type of love.

the hole many people feel can't be filled by the love other people give them, can't be filled with material things, with wealth, with drugs or anything in this world. the only way the hole can go away is if God fills it with HIS love.

If your heart is filled with His love then people will be attracted to you and you to those who also reflect His love. It is nothing sexual or profane in that type of love. People who don't understand God's nature and His pure love mistaken it for a more worldly type of love, but God's love and the love He wants us to have for each other is the love that is not about sex, its not about infautation, it does not fade with time but grows stronger. It is a love that places others happiness before our own. It is a love that does things for His Glory and His purposes and not our own wants and desires.

the only type of love that will ever fill the empty hole in your heart is God's.

If you try to find a man who can fill that hole, you will find nothing but disappointment and heartache because that isn't a mansize hole, its a God sized one.

you will probably get offended. I pray you don't. I'm NOT saying you don't have God. I'm saying that you don't need a man to complete you. You have to realize and let God's love heal you before you can have a true and healthy relationship with the man God intends you to be with.

God doesn't want you to be filled with holes and bleeding your heart out.

Love isn't something to be afraid of. True love should be freely given as God has given it to His children.

Infatuation, lusts and other things this world claims is "love" should not be given the honor of being so considered by that name. It is the difference between wisdom from above and wisdom from below.

look to a higher form of love: the love Jesus showed to His disciples and the love He wants us to show to one another.

 

[ijustwanttheTruth]

wow this thread has deevolved into hurt emotions.



I just wanted to say that loving other people is a good thing. however trying to become attached to people because they feel a empty "hole" inside of you is not a good idea.

Because men can't feel that empty hole. Only GOD can.

The world lies and says you have to have a man or woman to "complete" you and your life, but you don't need another person. You need God.

Relationships are about two whole and already complete people choosing to spend a lifetime together.

I dislike the term "falling in love" because as someone has already pointed out its not really about love at all but infatuation, lust and fleshly attachment. When we as Christians talk about love it should be by God's standards, not the world's concept of "love" which is more often referring to lusts.

I think it is a good thing to want to make connections with other people, to love them and want to understand and see to their happiness. THere is more to life than romantic love. that is something special that should be shared with only one person. HOwever true love, the love God wants us to have for all people should be an agape type of love.

the hole many people feel can't be filled by the love other people give them, can't be filled with material things, with wealth, with drugs or anything in this world. the only way the hole can go away is if God fills it with HIS love.

If your heart is filled with His love then people will be attracted to you and you to those who also reflect His love. It is nothing sexual or profane in that type of love. People who don't understand God's nature and His pure love mistaken it for a more worldly type of love, but God's love and the love He wants us to have for each other is the love that is not about sex, its not about infautation, it does not fade with time but grows stronger. It is a love that places others happiness before our own. It is a love that does things for His Glory and His purposes and not our own wants and desires.

the only type of love that will ever fill the empty hole in your heart is God's.

If you try to find a man who can fill that hole, you will find nothing but disappointment and heartache because that isn't a mansize hole, its a God sized one.

you will probably get offended. I pray you don't. I'm NOT saying you don't have God. I'm saying that you don't need a man to complete you. You have to realize and let God's love heal you before you can have a true and healthy relationship with the man God intends you to be with.

God doesn't want you to be filled with holes and bleeding your heart out.

Love isn't something to be afraid of. True love should be freely given as God has given it to His children.

Infatuation, lusts and other things this world claims is "love" should not be given the honor of being so considered by that name. It is the difference between wisdom from above and wisdom from below.

look to a higher form of love: the love Jesus showed to His disciples and the love He wants us to show to one another.

why would i ever have reason to be offended at you?

you have spoken with kindness and love, your opinion, which is more than the rest of this sorry lot.

i have to say. i did NOT get on this thread asking for advice. i did not start chatting about my heart so that people would rebuke me and tell me something is wrong with me. NOR did i throw a SINGLE tantrum in this thread, as i have now been accused of throwing. all i did was defend myself and state what is wrong about that which was spoken. i have said my piece. i have said everything i need to. some insist on remaining in their opinions. that is fine. everyone on this planet has the God given right? to be wrong.

that being said? i am done trying to communicate with you guys. you clearly don't know how.

 

[Powemm]

So .... I read through all the responses from beginning to right here ..
And I guess the question I'm left with is ...

Are we busy trying to be loved , or busy loving ?