At the risk of repeating myself, here goes.....and this is going to be straight forward matey, so buckle up....
I get it - your heart is breaking. Most of us oldies - and youngies - have been through this. We know what you are going through. You probably think: nobody could possibly know my situation, or what it is like to be experiencing all of this. But we do know - that's why we are all trying to help you.
I have personally counselled sooo many people like you who are in toxic relationships - and yes, this is the start of a toxic relationship.
Many people in your situation just want validation for what you are saying & posting. You WANT someone to agree & empathise/sympathise with you. Also people in your situation, love being in your situation - the heartbroken, rejected lover/partner (whatever), and you complain to people all over the place - in person, online, at the local coffee shop, in the supermarket, to family and friends. You carry your heartbroken-ness around with you like a badge or like the proverbial martyr; feel sorry for me, help me. You don't want anyone saying: well, she's had it with you matey, she's already told you to leave her alone in plain language, and you STILL write a letter and you're hoping to meet up with her at some stage - you don't want to hear anyone say: She doesn't want you in her life, cry a river, then move on.
Just because she's sent you a text shouldn't give you hope. Maybe she just wanted to be polite - I don't know why, as I don't know her.
Because I tell you, from my experience counselling people, if you continue to contact her, you're just adding fuel onto a fire that is continually dying out, & which will eventually die out. She will meet someone else eventually, & then you will be more heartbroken and crying more, because you can't ever be with her.
People on here are trying to help you in the nicest way possible - but you are just not listening, or even trying to take their oftentimes wiser and been-there-done-that advice.
I knew a bloke like you last year. This bloke was JUST a friend, nothing else - nothing sexual or anything was going on. It got to the point where he started to take a certain liberty I wasn't happy with. I complained about him after that, of course nothing happened, and avoided him. He eventually left and I didn't see him/hear from him for ages. Now, he's contacted me again once & the police have advised me not to answer his text message telling him to leave me alone, as some guys see that as encouragement (go figure THAT one out). This guy I knew just comes across as creepy, and I found out many months later he was lying about everything, & also that he was a full on alcoholic and a drug user.
To me - and this is just me - you are coming across as too full-on and creepy.
Think about it - do you really want to live the rest of your life and waste it on someone who obviously doesn't want to see you, or be with you? Think of all the wonderful opportunities you'll be missing out on. You could work, study, travel, you may meet the woman of your dreams - there are so many things you could do with your life! Seriously, you will be wasting precious months/years of your life pining after somebody who you will always be hoping will change her mind, and somehow, miraculously, contact you and fall into your arms. Chances are that isn't going to happen. It's always hard being rejected, but you can have a mourning period, be kind to yourself, nurse your soul, then move on with life. We don't have anything else we can do apart from move on.
So what are you going to do with the rest of your life? Pine after this woman who doesn't want you?
Let me ask you this: what do you think YOU should do now?? Disregarding all the advice on here - what is your next move?
I really hope & pray you see sense and really analyse how you have been acting, and I truly hope you don't waste your life on this woman - because that is just what you are doing.
And may I say in closing that Tinder is not a safe site to be on. You don't know the people on there - even if you meet up with them, they could tell you a whole bunch of lies. It's better to get to know someone in a safe, Christian environment who holds the same values as you. If this woman doesn't share your values at all, and you did end up getting together, your life will be full of misery. Trust me - I counsel people every day in your situation.
Have a cry, mourn, then move on, make plans to get into wholesome things to distract you.
And stay off sites like Tinder - those sites don't care about you as a person anyway, and the people you meet on there will probably be shallow. Sites like Tinder & other dating sites just want to take your hard earned money off of you - and they don't care about what happens to you when things go horribly wrong.
You are better than all of this!! You deserve a better, more wholesome, spiritual and satisfying life than chasing after strangers & sinners who don't give a d***n about you.
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