There's a girl I work with that I sort of have a crush on. We've had small talk here and there joked with each other. I don't if she's saved because we've never discussed it. I would like to get to know her better but I'm nervous about asking her out. I want to be a gentleman about it. Then I start having second thoughts and doubts. What do you all think? Any advice would be appreciated.
Before the "ask out" advice... because you work together you really need to go through the experience in your head of the possibility that you could date her and get very attached, and then she, as they do, very abruptly tells you she doesn't want a relationship with you anymore... and now you have to see her every day, when she talking to you about how cute certain guys are and her boyfriends coming in. (And by the way, that's not theoretical, all of that happened to me.) If that happens, can you handle it? or is it a job you can leave?
I'm assuming you're over 21, right? I'd start looking for fun/interesting things to do locally, like live music, or date stuff, like both of you making your own meal, tennis, pee wee golf, new restaurant, dancing, walking in the park, jogging, etc. Then when you talk to her you mention things you like to do, fun things you did, local places you visited... she how she responds to each. If she's interested in going out with you, and/or likes what you're talking about, she'll let you know, ask her to do it with you "hey, you want to go with me to ___?" Also ask her what she likes to do. If she likes to do something you have a date for, ask her.
Also, if you're going down that lane of subject, if she has a boyfriend, she'll mention it. Even if she does, if you think you have a connection, you can still pursue. If she declines an invitation and gives no indication of a "rain check", then if you're still interested, you might want to take a slower friendship approach.
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