I need someone in life!

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hearthealing

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Hi, I need someone (like a family member) who's constantly there for me in life... I've a hard time reaching out to people in real life, due to extreme shyness (social anxiety)... I need some help finding some real help in life--for example, where to go/who to talk to etc, that may further help me find my next step in life... If you're someone patient, caring, knowledgeable, resourceful, please help me through this process...
 
What you need is a professional counselor or psychologist to help you work through your shyness, so that you can then go live your life.
We all need people at times, and there's nothing wrong with that, but what you are asking for is someone to basically be on call, and to always be giving. You are not going to find someone like that simply by asking someone to be all of that for you. Such a commitment forms over time, through a strong, tested friendship between two people who have earned one anothers trust.
The issues you're facing may take years to overcome, and if that's the case, then that's a HUGE commitment to ask of a total stranger. Not to mention you would then be taking advice from someone that you have No Idea if they are a person of good character and healthy spiritual, mental and emotional guidance.
This is why a professional would suit you best. They are trained to understand your issues, to help you find the root cause and to know the directions and steps needed to point you in the right direction. Not to mention they often have other kinds of resources available, or can direct you where to find them. And often times have the same, or other, personal experiences which caused them to seek professional help at one point. Chances are whatever random person that may offer to help won't have all of that, if they are even trustworthy. Nor is it likely they will stick around for years.
You are asking a lot of someone and taking a big risk in trusting a stranger in this manner.
 
hearthealing said:
Hi, I need someone (like a family member) who's constantly there for me in life... I've a hard time reaching out to people in real life, due to extreme shyness (social anxiety)... I need some help finding some real help in life--for example, where to go/who to talk to etc, that may further help me find my next step in life... If you're someone patient, caring, knowledgeable, resourceful, please help me through this process...
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I would suggest you talk to a pastor.
 
You need to be very careful about this. Ugly made some very important points.

Something else to keep in mind is that it is very possible, and quite likely, that you might find someone who initially thinks they want to be for you what you described, but then after a while, after you spill your guts to them and have some form of attachment to them, they suddenly disappear. If this does happen, you will more than likely end up worse off than you were to begin with.
 
hearthealing said:
Hi, I need someone (like a family member) who's constantly there for me in life... I've a hard time reaching out to people in real life, due to extreme shyness (social anxiety)... I need some help finding some real help in life--for example, where to go/who to talk to etc, that may further help me find my next step in life... If you're someone patient, caring, knowledgeable, resourceful, please help me through this process...
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Who diagnosed you with social anxiety? Assuming a medical professional, that person is the one who is supposed to tell you where to go to get treated for it.

Let's be real. You came here so you don't have to be around people to learn how to be around people. A guaranteed way never to get beyond where you are now.
 
Depleted said:
Who diagnosed you with social anxiety? Assuming a medical professional, that person is the one who is supposed to tell you where to go to get treated for it.

Let's be real. You came here so you don't have to be around people to learn how to be around people. A guaranteed way never to get beyond where you are now.
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People have to start their growth somewhere. Why can it not be that this is where the first step is? Why does it have to automatically be determined this is as far as he will go? What do you know of this individual that allows you to make a claim? How do you know that this isn't a big step for him?
 
Hello. I can definitely relate to the difficulties of social shyness/social anxiety. What worked for me was getting involved in ministries in my local church (singles ministry/ushering). The social awkwardness went away as I spent more time with the same group of people consistently. It might be a good idea to research groups or classes that match your interest, like a book club, yoga class etc. I discovered that I wasn't a shy as I thought, I simply didn't like big crowds. The smaller group setting was where I found my confidence, joy, and boldness. I will pray that GOD removes your shyness and replace it with confidence and the knowledge that GOD will never leave your or forsake you. I hope this helps you.
 
Ugly said:
People have to start their growth somewhere. Why can it not be that this is where the first step is? Why does it have to automatically be determined this is as far as he will go? What do you know of this individual that allows you to make a claim? How do you know that this isn't a big step for him?
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Ummmm, for the same reasons you already said?

So now suddenly coming here is a good idea and will work? :confused:
 
we dont NEED people, we just want them. be comfortable with your own company and God. the people will follow
 
The first step is to get out of the house and into the real world. The only way that I know how to overcome social anxiety is to face your fears and step out in faith. Hopefully, you will find support and understanding in this site. Glad to have you with us. Welcome to CC.
 
Please don't fall into that trap of dependence. If someone leaves or betrays you, I can guarantee that your situation will be ten times worse. Be comfortable being alone, and be proud to be alone. I see friends as more of a want than a need, and I am still a very happy person in God. If your anxiety is too much and you absolutely MUST have people for some reason, go to a counsellor. God is the only friend who is actually a need, definitely not a want.

Anyway...sorry if I sound harsh or reclusive, but that's just my opinion and my method. Otherwise, welcome to this forum.
 
If the OP ever returns, someone should pm him and see if he's for real, and then suggest a pastor or some kind of counselor.



FYI
In the last few days we have had a rash of NEW MEMBERS posting EXTREMELY UNUSUAL thread topics.

Since there is so much happening at once, and many of them are just extremely odd, I've suggested to a few friends that we may be a sounding board for someone's college psych class.

College profs have been caught, publicly, causing chaos in public forums to run thought experiments.

I'm not saying that IS our situation, but I'm saying it's a possibility, and the new posts lately have been very suspicious.
 
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Nobody will always be there for you in your life! To put your trust into man is for them to fail you. What you seek... You can only find in Christ.
 
maxwel said:
If the OP ever returns, someone should pm him and see if he's for real, and then suggest a pastor or some kind of counselor.



FYI
In the last few days we have had a rash of NEW MEMBERS posting EXTREMELY UNUSUAL thread topics.

Since there is so much happening at once, and many of them are just extremely odd, I've suggested to a few friends that we may be a sounding board for someone's college psych class.

College profs have been caught, publicly, causing chaos in public forums to run thought experiments.

I'm not saying that IS our situation, but I'm saying it's a possibility, and the new posts lately have been very suspicious.
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Yes, more information from the op would be helpful

And thanks for the heads up about the rash
 
I mean the rash of NEW MEMBERS posting EXTREMELY UNUSUAL thread topics.
 
Dear Hearthealing,
I am not the best with grammar so be patient with me.:-) I have felt your pain and it is alot easier to say go to the professionals then to do it. I have gone down the road of proffesional help and it worked in someways and someways not. I have turned to alchohol in some circumstances and that doesn't ever help in the long run. I have always been a emotional eater as well which is pretty much the same as alchohol no long term helpfulness. I have told you these things to get to this sermons have been the answer for me. In the last 4 months I have everyday switched youtube on found a sermon that was tugging on my heart to listen to. My family and friends don't have the same belief system I do in Christianity. It is not a good or bad thing just different. It becomes hard to share and express things because of it which then in return can feel very lonely at times. What I found was to find a pastor that you really like to hear. It is soothing to find someone that brings calmness to you when you hear their voice. Once you do that then just listen. You will be surprised on how helpful it can be. You will have spiritual revelations that you never thought there were. Life will start to look brighter. You will find things that you need to be truthful about to yourself to work on. Once all these things start to happen confidence will come and it will become easier to live your life with a smile. It won't be easy but you have continue the process. I hope this helps
 
Wild said:
we dont NEED people, we just want them. be comfortable with your own company and God. the people will follow
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Adam didn't need Eve?
God raising himself up a nation was a bad idea?
The Good Samaritan was a crock?

My husband had a heart attack at home. Good thing he had lots and lots of people to help him.
 
maxwel said:
If the OP ever returns, someone should pm him and see if he's for real, and then suggest a pastor or some kind of counselor.



FYI
In the last few days we have had a rash of NEW MEMBERS posting EXTREMELY UNUSUAL thread topics.

Since there is so much happening at once, and many of them are just extremely odd, I've suggested to a few friends that we may be a sounding board for someone's college psych class.

College profs have been caught, publicly, causing chaos in public forums to run thought experiments.

I'm not saying that IS our situation, but I'm saying it's a possibility, and the new posts lately have been very suspicious.
Click to expand...

Agreed! !!!!!

Doesn't mean we shouldn't answer - but I have not seen the OP respond yet . . .
 
Chester said:
Agreed! !!!!!

Doesn't mean we shouldn't answer - but I have not seen the OP respond yet . . .
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one idea would be to write posts with an eye to benefitting the general readers of the thread... that way we still win even if it's a fake op.
 
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