I want to die

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HistoryPrincess

Senior Member
Feb 20, 2016
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Too long to explain why. I just want to. I can only sum it up in three words right now. Empty, lonely, hopeless.:(
 
You don't want to die. You want to live, but without all these things you're feeling. But to get any real help you have to be willing to explain why, no matter how long it is. Otherwise all anyone can offer is some empty platitudes. Whether you want to share it publicly or privately is your call. But you need to share it with someone who can help.
If you want you can message me, as i've felt the same way myself many times. Or you can wait for one of the women to respond you if that makes you more comfortable.
But you are not alone in feeling this way.
 
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2 Chronicles 20:17 (ESV)
17 You will not need to fight in this battle. Stand firm, hold your position, and see the salvation of the Lord on your behalf, O Judah and Jerusalem.’ Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed. Tomorrow go out against them, and the Lord will be with you.”
 
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Have Hope in the eternal promises of Jesus and you will always have Hope for a better eternity.. No matter how dark and lonely this life is.. If we can see the Light at then end of the tunnel you can endure the darkness we are currently in because we know the darkness around us is temporary it is not for ever.. (((((Historyprinecess))))) I hope you come to know this Hope..
 
HistoryPrincess said:
Too long to explain why. I just want to. I can only sum it up in three words right now. Empty, lonely, hopeless.:(
Click to expand...

I will pray for you, IDK what else to say but that I have been feeling the same lately especially hopeless about my circumstances....I'm tired of praying and reading the Bible to a God who seems totally apathetic to my circumstances.....it's been years and nothing changes......I'm still praying but not much faith right now either....
 
i.was.shown-a-letter-from-a-16-year-old-to-his-mother-
the-lad-was-in-jail-and-the-letter(reading-between-the-lines)-was-a-suicide-note
the-teenager-went-on-to-attempt-suicide-on-more-than-1-occasion


God-was-having-none-of-it

today-that-teenager-is-a-grandad-who-really-loves-live-and-loves-God

yes-that-teenager-was-me-and-my-mother-recently-showed-me-that-letter.

hold-on-----it-will-pass

Tears fell down from my mind
A life that seemed so unkind;
Darkness filled the space around
The tower crumbled to the ground,
The moon stood strong without compassion
Depression became the daily fashion.

Time went passed as i'd bereave
The world i'm born, i wanted to leave;
Then amidst the gloomy foggy night
A single star stood shining bright.
The star of hope was in the sky
And in time the star went by.

I looked back to what was before.
The moon was standing there no more.
A new foundation stone was laid
And a brand new life was being made.


http://christianchat.com/blogs/prodigal/961-suicide.html
 
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Hold on - we all know the world is hard and full of evil. Rid yourself of as much of the world as you can - stuff and activities, distractions and attractions. Consider as we come to late summer a vision quest as Jesus did. He contemplated throwing himself from the root of the temple and rebuked that temptation having emptied himself.

A vision quest is just a name. The idea is to empty yourself of the world and to fill yourself with the knowledge of God. Start as above. Read and mediate on scripture for a week or two to a month. A study of the psalms and proverbs and parables is powerful but do as the spirit guides.

Prepare for a retreat from the world for three days away from distractions. Clean, empty and hide in your room, live in a friend's basement or garage, live in a tent or etc.

Prepare for a fast. Precede along with your study above with no going out for food or drink for those 2+ weeks. Then prepare for and implement a three day vegetarian fast that is very simple BEFORE your three day vision quest.

From here if you have any pre-existing medical conditions, consult a medical professional.

Prepare for a three day juice fast - I use V-8 but there are other ways. Don't over do fruit juices as they are full of sugar. Cut juices with 50% water.

Begin your vision quest starting with a juice fast and meditation on Your recent studies above. You can use notes if needed - keep it minimal. Begin to empty yourself of all worldly thought and care focusing on scripture meditation in your zero distraction hideout. Deprive yourself of all sensory stimulation and include sleep deprivation as much as you can stand. Continue for at least 72 hours.

Come off your fast and meditation in reverse order. This is much simplified but generally complete. Let only a closest confidant know your plan - here an unfamiliar pastor could be of help.

As you empty yourself of these Spirits of Man (De-Mons) and fill youself with the spirit of God you will begin to heal and be more poweful over these worldly demons.

Carry on with your prayer/meditation and minimalism/frugality as a lifestyle.

Jesus taught as Jesus did:

" some demons can only be driven out by [meditative / contemplative and petitioners] prayer and fasting.

Be at peace with yourself and at odds with the worldly. A new mission. Jesus overcame the world and promises a reward to those who follow him.

We will be praying for you and for your testimony of your vision quest ... God Bless You and Peace be with you ...
 
*hugs*

Do you have anyone where you are that you can also reach out to? Online friends are awesome, but sometimes it takes a person in real life to talk things through. It can be a friend, or an organisation like the Samaritans ( Contact us | Samaritans )

Let us know how you're doing

and, if you ever get thoughts about actually harming yourself: Call 911
 
I know how do you feel - I'm going through painful time in my life and I have to say that sometimes I feel the same way. Sometimes I ask Jesus to take me from this world to where He is. But everything gets better in prayer. When I pray, I'm fully opening my heart to Him. He knows exactly how do you feel. Even in the worst moments He is by your side. You know, yesterday, in one of the moments of hopelessness, I found this sermon jam: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUFGFbtKw-M. It is hard for me to admit that my pain isn't meaningless because I cannot see the future. God can transform an ash into a gold. He can turn our pain into joy. We only have to believe Him.
 
1LonelyKnight said:
Hold on - we all know the world is hard and full of evil. Rid yourself of as much of the world as you can - stuff and activities, distractions and attractions. Consider as we come to late summer a vision quest as Jesus did. He contemplated throwing himself from the root of the temple and rebuked that temptation having emptied himself.

A vision quest is just a name. The idea is to empty yourself of the world and to fill yourself with the knowledge of God. Start as above. Read and mediate on scripture for a week or two to a month. A study of the psalms and proverbs and parables is powerful but do as the spirit guides.

Prepare for a retreat from the world for three days away from distractions. Clean, empty and hide in your room, live in a friend's basement or garage, live in a tent or etc.

Prepare for a fast. Precede along with your study above with no going out for food or drink for those 2+ weeks. Then prepare for and implement a three day vegetarian fast that is very simple BEFORE your three day vision quest.

From here if you have any pre-existing medical conditions, consult a medical professional.

Prepare for a three day juice fast - I use V-8 but there are other ways. Don't over do fruit juices as they are full of sugar. Cut juices with 50% water.

Begin your vision quest starting with a juice fast and meditation on Your recent studies above. You can use notes if needed - keep it minimal. Begin to empty yourself of all worldly thought and care focusing on scripture meditation in your zero distraction hideout. Deprive yourself of all sensory stimulation and include sleep deprivation as much as you can stand. Continue for at least 72 hours.

Come off your fast and meditation in reverse order. This is much simplified but generally complete. Let only a closest confidant know your plan - here an unfamiliar pastor could be of help.

As you empty yourself of these Spirits of Man (De-Mons) and fill youself with the spirit of God you will begin to heal and be more poweful over these worldly demons.

Carry on with your prayer/meditation and minimalism/frugality as a lifestyle.

Jesus taught as Jesus did:

" some demons can only be driven out by [meditative / contemplative and petitioners] prayer and fasting.

Be at peace with yourself and at odds with the worldly. A new mission. Jesus overcame the world and promises a reward to those who follow him.

We will be praying for you and for your testimony of your vision quest ... God Bless You and Peace be with you ...
Click to expand...

To be perfectly honest and blunt, I'm tired of punishing my body. I'm tired of listening to platitudes. I'm tired of "spiritual" things in general. What I need is real life. I'm not a super Christian like you seem to be.
 
HistoryPrincess said:
To be perfectly honest and blunt, I'm tired of punishing my body. I'm tired of listening to platitudes. I'm tired of "spiritual" things in general. What I need is real life. I'm not a super Christian like you seem to be.
Click to expand...

right there with ya hold on
 
wwjd_kilden said:
Exorcism can cause mental illness
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Driving out spirits "Of-Man" (De-Mon) requires replacing with the Spirits of God. You are right and can be sure those driven out demons will be angry and call in seven more demons - all to be repelled by the Spirits of God. This takes study and prayer and repentance (fasting as an extreme). It takes discipline and patience and perseverance which are as fruit.

This is what overcoming the world is about. It is for whom the rewards are.
 
Watch this my dear sister. Soak up the words. It has helped people in your situation before. May God bless you and protect you.
[video=youtube;btH4fRBfN-U]https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&persist_app=1&v=btH4fRBfN-U[/video]
 
Part of replacement therapy is tuning to one's spirit driven passions. For a "history princess" that may mean a study of bible history, which might lead to biblical archeology which might lead to biblical anthropology. None of those things are specific in and of themselves apart from the go spell of Jesus.
 
Dying on purpose is not as peaceful as what dead people tend to make it look like.

Like what they already said, you do not want to die. You want to be happy and we are here to help. You may not believe that anyone or anything can help you right now, but the fact the you made this thread means you can still see hope. You're not hopeless. That's what the devil is whispering to you all along. But you know that there IS hope. Grab hold of that light.

We're reaching out to you but you'll have to take a step forward and receive help. PM anyone of us here you feel comfortable with. There is also a chatroom here so if you want to talk, we can go there.
 
HistoryPrincess said:
To be perfectly honest and blunt, I'm tired of punishing my body. I'm tired of listening to platitudes. I'm tired of "spiritual" things in general. What I need is real life. I'm not a super Christian like you seem to be.
Click to expand...

I'm gonna be honest with you,
Many people (sometimes including myself) seem a super Christian but they struggle and grow tired of it just as you have.
Even if people don't want to admit it, it's normal.

I know how you feel.
I felt the exact same way, still do sometimes.
I want to quit just waking knowing it's gonna be another cappy day and hating myself.

I have tried to end my life before many times.
But my user name is what it is because the problems in this world are Temporary
 
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HistoryPrincess said:
To be perfectly honest and blunt, I'm tired of punishing my body. I'm tired of listening to platitudes. I'm tired of "spiritual" things in general. What I need is real life. I'm not a super Christian like you seem to be.
Click to expand...

Dear HistoryPrincess:

"Spiritual things" are indeed a part of real life, just not one you're capable of witnessing with your eyes. Whether you believe it or not, there is a spiritual war going on right now between spiritual entities of good and evil and each is vying for your soul from another realm. Spiritual entities are not a figment of our imaginations or only a state of mind as the Bible tells us in...

Ephesians 6:12 - For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

Pray to Jesus for protection against these entities. Their goal is destruction of not only your life, but your soul that will live on after your weakened and punished body has faded from this world. Don't give them the satisfaction of believing they've won your soul.

In the meanwhile, we will pray the same for you.

This might sound even more depressing, but go visit people in your area who you think might be living through worse conditions than yourself. I guaranty that your plight might actually serve as comfort to others and while you may not realize it, you will probably bring inspiration to someone less fortunate than yourself, which in turn might help you to feel better about your life and your situation. Become a volunteer somewhere. Doing for others is wonderful therapy for yourself and for others.

Sincerely,
Mya
 
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