If a Party Were Held For Introverts, Would Anyone Show Up? (Or Would the Extroverts Crash the Party?)

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fear of meeting and talking to others sounds a lot like social anxiety to me.
remember that if you get a confident introvert talking about their fave topic, they will indulge and likely be very talkative.
 
morefaithrequired said:
fear of meeting and talking to others sounds a lot like social anxiety to me.
remember that if you get a confident introvert talking about their fave topic, they will indulge and likely be very talkative.
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Glass half empty perspective...
Here's a glass half full perspective:
Who on the list of the most successful introverts listed above were afraid of meeting and talking to anyone? None...
 
social anxiety is a fear of scrutiny by others. being judged. wasnt that what Ben was describing re himself?
 
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When extroverts crash the party..

iu
 
morefaithrequired said:
can you have introverted salesmen? introverts would not be suited to doing customer service jobs all day..
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Funny thing, because all I've ever done is customer service. And it is indeed very taxing.

But some of us just have to do what we have to do in order pay the bills, you know?

I've survived by basically locking myself away from the world the rest of the time.

This is also the reason why I try to be willing to do the jobs no one else wants to do and work the hours no one else wants to work. It's usually isolated, and keeps me away from a lot of drama.

I suppose the extroverted world sees introverts as failures... But I grew up around a lot of people who went from mopping the floor and cleaning the restrooms to owning the place they were working for, all because they learned to be willing to do the jobs others felt were below them.
 
Tinkerbell725 said:
I don't know if that is possible. Maybe in the case of MPD (Multiple personality disorder) if that is even real.
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I guess it depends on how you define the terms.

If an extrovert draws energy from being around others but is afraid to approach them first or doesn't know how to talk to people they don't know, I definitely think a shy extrovert is possible.
 
BenFTW said:
What if I told you that the introvert I was describing was me? Would you still call it damaging? Wouldn’t you agree that some introverts are introverted because of fear? You see, maybe I am what you guys would describe as a shy extrovert, but my introverted-ness is based in being self-conscious. That is fear.

Maybe my brush was swiped too broadly to encompass all introverts but surely it describes some? I know I have at times felt hindered by fear, and as a result acted in an introverted way.

I can see this topic is very personal to you and I’m sorry if my post sparked something in you, that wasn’t pleasant. I don’t mean to make you or anyone feel like an alien or living as a mistake, and my intent was only to encourage any introvert that is introverted as a result of fear. They exist.

Maybe I am misinformed on this topic, but I can only describe to you my experience with extroversion and introversion on a personal level.
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Thank you for sharing this Ben.

I was actually very surprised by your original posts because I had assumed you were an introvert as well. (I'm sorry if that sounds presumptuous, but I had guessed this from reading several of your other posts.)

This additional post really fills out a good portion of the rest of the picture. Thank you for being so honest. 🙂
 
morefaithrequired said:
and possibly seoul search's original post oversimplified the meanings of extrovert/introvert.
but all the confusion makes for an interesting discussion. 😁
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This is one of the reasons why I had asked people to define what it meant to them personally to be an introvert or extrovert.

It's also one of the reasons why I never identified with either term. I had always heard them defined in ways that never seemed to fit me. But when I heard the definition of an introvert as being someone who restores their energy alone versus an extrovert who restores their energy by being around other people, that was the definition that suited me.

One of the things I was curious about in this thread is how people define these terms for themselves, and why they come to identify with them or not.
 
seoulsearch said:
I suppose the extroverted world sees introverts as failures... But I grew up around a lot of people who went from mopping the floor and cleaning the restrooms to owning the place they were working for, all because they learned to be willing to do the jobs others felt were below them.
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Funny thing about failure, and failures... if you change your objectives, they can be successes. It all depends on what you're trying for, and whether you get it.

Most of the people I know are mild failures, because they don't listen to music all the time. I mean really, who would choose NOT to hear music?! :p
 
I've always been a extremly shy, quiet person. Happy to sit in the corner and listen. I only read about the traits of a introvert about 10 years ago and I'm basically all of them. I had a partner for 19 years and the only reason i never married was because i absolutely hated the idea of being centre of attention. Obviously now he has passed away and i have become a Christian i regret this, but it just shows how some aspects of being a introvert can be crippling. I never go swimming in public, rarely go out or to events etc. My sister is extrovert and loves attention, i use this to my advantage, i can hide while she draws the attention. Lol. I'm comfortable this way, I'm just not a big talker and don't need people around me, but i admit some days it can be lonely. On the other hand my 14 year old daughter is a extrovert and has brought me out of my shell a lot. I joke with God that he did this on purpose to bring a balance lol.
 
Something else I also wonder about are the sacrifices that God calls both introverts and extroverts to make as far as denying ourselves and following His will.

I know that for me, I've had to set aside my desire to just stay home pretty much every day of my life, lol. I always feel sad to read about people whose introvertedness and/or social anxiety, depression, etc., prevents them from doing even basic things like holding a job. I've struggled with these things too but not to that point (not yet, at least), so I always feel sorry for those whose lives are hindered by these types of challenges.

There are also several other situations beyond work in which God calls me to deny what would make me most comfortable and think about what others need instead (still working on this part!) so I am constantly praying about what the balance is between service, selfishness, and self-care.

I often wonder if the sacrifice extroverts have to make is having to genuinely listen to other people and ask others about themeselves instead of talking continuously? (I don't mean this in judgment at all, it's just that I always seem to attract both introverts and extroverts who do all the talking and never ask about the other person.)
 
BenFTW said:
@cinder @seoulsearch Forgive me for my ignorance and just entertain my inquiry, please.

How do you reconcile this idea of introversion, and God’s word that says to not forsake the fellowship of the brethren? Do you find your introversion to be an obstacle to walking in love towards others? Walking in obedience, even, to the Lord?

Granted people may be introverted for different reasons maybe you don’t struggle with social events but as you described it, you find it draining. If God made you to be this way, drained from the presence of others and thriving alone, what role do you suppose you are to serve in the church? An intercessor? Where have you found your introversion to not impede yourself from serving others?
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I often wonder Ben, if you have read the Holy Bible from cover to cover???, as our Saviour/Jesus, often separates His 'called & chosen
out into the wilderness, often for years at a time, of not for decades! and here you are, trying to teach' others how they should
be serving our Lord!!!
Please, spend more of your 'off-time' in reading/learning/discerning God's special ways for each and every 'individual'...
 
Growing up, between my sister and I (we are 1 year apart) I’ve always been the shy, quiet one of us two, my sister is a extrovert and has always been the opposite of me - however all this changed when I joined the Youth Ministry. Joining it gave me more confidence in myself, to the point of being in leadership roles.

Can introverts be in leadership roles?

Anyways, I’ve thought that I was an introvert but growing up things changed and opportunities were given and I took the risk of going into these roles which changed me. Now, I have no problem in striking up a conversation with someone random or leading a discussion or meeting. It just comes naturally. But, there are times where I’m just quiet and like to be quiet and prefer not to say anything - which sometimes people notice and ask if “I’m okay” lol.

So for me personally, it’s hard to put a “introvert/extrovert” label on me because I feel I am a mixture of the two.
 
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