D
The past couple of days my faith has been like a roller coaster, I would have a lot of faith a few times during the day but not for a long time and every morning when I wake up it seems like my faith has just ran away. And I keep having OCD thoughts and blasphemous thoughts that I don't want at all and I repent of them but still my faith is still pretty low. And I keep having a hard time KEEPING my faith in Jesus and don't know why. I don't think I'm rejecting Jesus and I don't want to but I don't know why my faith keeps dwindling though. I don't want to harden my heart against God because I love God but I don't know why I can't keep my faith when I have it and why I feel so far from God. I don't like feeling far from God and I DISLIKE IT SO MUCH when I my faith in Jesus is so low. I'm afraid that I am unknowingly hardening my heart by accident. Is there a reason why my faith keeps dropping and why I feel so far from God? How come these OCD thoughts can convince me so easily about lies but I can't convince myself of the absolute truth?