I'm having a slight problem of having no faith that I'll never get a girlfriend.

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So yeah things, still haven't gotten any better for find a girlfriend. Still no friends that are girls. Just nothing getting any better. Still just can't get rid of the shyness and even if I did get rid of it, I still wouldn't know what to say to girls...
 
this is how I get by....I always remember that I am called to love and not to be loved. so I am out there letting everyone know that I love them. The least of my concerns is getting the love back..because it's not what I have been called to......Next, do you know that in the Bible God promises to supply all our needs? that means if you need a girlfriend He will provide.... the rules could be a lttle different since I am a girl and aim at casual friendships..so you should start here and when God instructs you to take another step and ask someone out, go for it. and you will have a girlfriend...if you get rejected you can either keep trying or just rejoice because you would have boosted the girls' self-esteem through your rejection...
 
Hello,
I was reading your posts and I can tell you that I found myself having similar thoughts some years ago.
You dont need to change who you are. I once in a while prayed to God about a girlfriend and God would know the best person for me. I was shy when I met her and I wasn't even looking for her but I knew that she was the one that God prepared for me! She liked me the way I was! I'm not that shy nowadays, years have passed and we grow together (3 years) she is my Fiancé now! I can tell you I couldnt be happier in this relationship. God is a good father, he knows who you are, just ask him someone to walk happly with you in His path.
I hope to have helped you.

God Bless you brother
 
COURT DONT DATE!

Thank You

I think that is all that needs to be said lol.
 
Gerald said:
Hello,
I was reading your posts and I can tell you that I found myself having similar thoughts some years ago.
You dont need to change who you are. I once in a while prayed to God about a girlfriend and God would know the best person for me. I was shy when I met her and I wasn't even looking for her but I knew that she was the one that God prepared for me! She liked me the way I was! I'm not that shy nowadays, years have passed and we grow together (3 years) she is my Fiancé now! I can tell you I couldnt be happier in this relationship. God is a good father, he knows who you are, just ask him someone to walk happly with you in His path.
I hope to have helped you.

God Bless you brother
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How did you start talking to her/ getting to know her when you're shy?
 
If you guys have this club in America, I reccommend you join Toast Masters. If you don't know what it is google it.

And you need to concentrate on having friends (male and female) just for the sake of having friends. Stop looking at every female as a potential girlfriend, if you are you're probably freaking them out. And your making yourself paranoid that talking to girls is different from guys cos it isnt!

And you need to STOP whining on CC about not having a girlfriend!!!!
 
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Hmm... a lot of things have already been said, but if I had something to contribute....

Don't doom yourself to calling yourself shy :) I know that sounds strange. I used to be an extremely shy person, and I didn't know if I would make friends, let alone find a guy. I believed I was, and I said "I'm too shy" a lot. But God really challenged me, and helped me realize I needed to break that. I realized I needed to step out of that mindset and say no, I'm a fun person to be with. I don't want to be like this all my life. I want friends, and eventually a guy. Scripture really helped me also, I would speak it out loud and pray the verses.

Realize that you are more than worth it, and that you don't NEED someone to make you happy. People in our lives enhance our happiness. But they're not THE happiness. Be happy in the way God has made you! :)

Something I did, was place myself in "hangout spots". Since I love to read, I would go to Borders/Barnes & Noble, and hang out there. I met a couple guys there who are now my good friends. Mind you, I didn't throw myself at them. :) I didn't just randomly approach them. I was happy with myself, I didn't rush things- I simply made myself seen. Same with church. I served in a couple ministries and simply made myself seen. I met my first boyfriend through that.

Hope that helps. :)
 
Well I'd say work on yourself first dothackzero then do what you have to. You have plenty of time and energy. It's like taking up a new hobby or sport. You have to learn the basics before you get really good but it takes time and energy.
 
kiwi_OT said:
If you guys have this club in America, I reccommend you join Toast Masters. If you don't know what it is google it.

And you need to concentrate on having friends (male and female) just for the sake of having friends. Stop looking at every female as a potential girlfriend, if you are you're probably freaking them out. And your making yourself paranoid that talking to girls is different from guys cos it isnt!

And you need to STOP whining on CC about not having a girlfriend!!!!
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But every girl is a potential girlfriend!!!!!!!!!!!!

You should see me in the DMV, I'm just a wreck, oh the possibilities. ;)
 
Okay what ever for me Its easier to make friends with girls then guys. Maybe because girls are sweeter and understand what problem your going threw . Guys just say Buck it up you can make it and give ya pat on the shoulder or something like that. lol
I know they say that a guy should hang around guys but for me even as a kid The only friend I had was a girl and no I am glad that She was my friend. Later on I did have friends that where guys some where fun to be around and some I regret hanging around because of there filthy mouth. I know its weird But to me Girls around my age in school where easier to be around even when I was a kid lol Now I do get get nervous if I am standing by em that's because I'm a Grown up I think :P :) AS having a Girlfriend I don't think I ever had one.
 
Well, being a girl in college too, I would suggest that you just be yourself. Make the girls laugh. I know you said you're shy, just do what you can to make them laugh. Because for me. If a guy can make me laugh, It makes it easier for me to talk back to them. But seriously buddy, don't worry about a girlfriend. 10 to 1 I bet the girls in your classes are wishing that you would talk to them. Make sure you are clean, smell good, clean clothes.. and teeth and hair brushed. If you have all those things done, there is no reason a nice girl wouldn't want to talk to you. and don't be creepy and stair at them all the time, or write them letters. find out things they like, or pretend to over hear conversations and try to join in.

Those are my suggestions.
Be blessed.
Hannah
 
dothackzero said:
How did you start talking to her/ getting to know her when you're shy?
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My cousin had invited me to lunch in his house on a holliday and when I got there I saw I wasnt the only one invited.
I saw that girl (my fiancé today) sitting on the sofa speachless until a dog crossed the living room so she started to "talk" with the dog and since I like animals I felt confident to play with it too. Try to find something you both enjoy (I wasn't looking for a girlfriend yet).
Then things had changed all of a sudden, she started to tell me how much she loves animals and about other subjects too, you must noticed already that women love to talk so I let her talk. Be a good listener, dont try to say much if you are nervous.
In the end of the day she was happy to have me there, if It wasnt for me she would have spent a day feeling alone in a house full of people interested in other subjects.
It was just the start of a friendship
 
Gerald said:
Then things had changed all of a sudden, she started to tell me how much she loves animals and about other subjects too, you must noticed already that women love to talk so I let her talk. Be a good listener, dont try to say much if you are nervous.
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Well that's the 1st problem, girls don't like to talk to me even though I'm listener. Well, actually the 1st problem is that I'm never around girls in a small group setting of 10ish people with atleast a couple guy I'm comfortable being around. The other things is that I don't really have common interests compaired to most people. I mean I haven't exactly seen a lot of Christian girls that are into anime and video games around here.
 
dothackzero said:
I really need to figure out how to be less shy...
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focus on other people and not what you think of yourself. Actively listen and respond to what others are saying out of love as God listens and responds to you.

Research and learn about topics that interest you and work them into the conversation and find out what interests them and learn about the ideas and subjects. Focus on the world around you and not inside yourself and your mind.

that is how I learned to be less shy.
 
AnandaHya said:
focus on other people and not what you think of yourself. Actively listen and respond to what others are saying out of love as God listens and responds to you.

Research and learn about topics that interest you and work them into the conversation and find out what interests them and learn about the ideas and subjects. Focus on the world around you and not inside yourself and your mind.

that is how I learned to be less shy.
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There isn't many people around me that like video games and anime. That's most of what I know.
 
dothackzero said:
There isn't many people around me that like video games and anime. That's most of what I know.
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you'd love my little brother :) he took his new wife the night of the wedding to Dave and Busters which is like a grown up version of chuckecheese and they played video games until 3 am lol :)
 
Actually, there's a Dave and Busters near where I live too. But yeah, he does sound like someone I'd be friends with.
 
hey there is hope, he found someone to marry him and his love of gaming habits. (she's really nice and sweet and tolerant but has backbone :) so I think they will suit each other)

I don't know how he is now but whenever I came home to visit before it would not be abnormal for him to go three days without sleep playing a game. :) I think she convinces him to get off his butt and for them to do other things together so I think that is good for him.

You just have to work on being willing to compromise on the little things and comforts you are used to when you're in a relationship and be open to who God has in mind, it might not be who you have in mind.

lol I never thought I'd date a younger man because they were very immature to me but my husband had me fooled and I didn't realize he was younger until we were already serious because he didn't act immature. It showed me that age and what we think doesn't matter as much as what GOD has planned for us. :)

You don't need to compromise your standards, just your habits and thinking :) keep your standards focused on GOD and walking daily with God :)

if you get nervous or shy, look around you in a room and I bet you can spot a few people who can empathize. Go and be friendly with them.

Just say "hi have you seen a good movie lately?' or "Hi you look about as comfortable in this place as I feel"

or "hi mind if I just stand here?" eventually you or they might start a conversation. it helps sometimes if you compliment something about a person. A genuine thing you like about them.

like "you have a beautiful voice, it soothes my soul to just listen to you" "I could just fall into the depths of your unfathomable eyes."

lol I can't do it with a straight face but my brothers, friends and I used to make up icebreaker/pickup lines and dare each other to walk up to a stranger and say them. just compliments and not expecting a positive or negative response helps. :) just going and talking builds courage and sometimes you might be surprised and make a new friend :) if nothing else you can smile about it.

remember if you look you can always find someone more nervous then you :)
 
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Actually, last week. I got prayed for to be healed from social anxiety, as far as I can tell it either worked or took a good chunk of it away. The problem now is developing normal people skill. Small stuff like knowing a good time to approch a girl I want to talk to or really just on to say to people...
 
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