I'm not a poet and I know it

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"Well you'd be wrong good Sir,because I have already mailed you a check for $25 & the obligatory (framable) congenialty award document."

In that case, I will immediately create room on my mantle piece for the award, and I will use the $25 to buy more crayons and construction paper to continue writing my bad poetry!!!
 
I don’t​
write poetry. I don’t know​
if I even like poetry. Wait, that’s not totally true,​
I like e.e. Cummings and some Ogden Nash.

Sometimes I envy those super brainy people
who can recite Browning or Frost…​
other times I think they are​
overly pompous and pretentious​
and I am glad I am not that way.​
Would I even have the capacity to know
good poetry from bad? I suppose
I could learn if I took a class
in the subject, but for right now,
I think I will place this randomly​
scattered about the page,​
since that is another poetry gimmick
that I can’t really
appreciate.​
 
Shouryu said:
Hickory dickory dock
Two mice ran up the clock
The clock struck one
The other escaped with minor injuries


Mary had a little lamb
It bounced with little hops
It jumped into the street one day
And ended up as chops

Mary had a little lamb
It had a touch of colic
So she gave it brandy twice a day
Now it's an alcoholic

July the Fourth has come and gone
But the memories still linger
I got drunk and ate ten brats!
Has anybody seen my finger?
Click to expand...

omigosh!!! These are hilarious!
 
Keep up the good work & keep submitting! You will be entered into our Grand Prize drawing of $122.93 in CASH as well as a lifetime supply of paste to eat & a free tramp stamp tattoo of your choosing!!! The more you enter the better your chances to win! So get writing mah babies!
 
Shouryu said:
Hickory dickory dock
Two mice ran up the clock
The clock struck one
The other escaped with minor injuries

Mary had a little lamb
It bounced with little hops
It jumped into the street one day
And ended up as chops

Mary had a little lamb
It had a touch of colic
So she gave it brandy twice a day
Now it's an alcoholic

July the Fourth has come and gone
But the memories still linger
I got drunk and ate ten brats!
Has anybody seen my finger?
Click to expand...


if healing ever comes in doses of laughter ?
I just took ten tablespoons reading this ..

absolutely love this !!
 
Fee fi fiddly I O
Fee fi fiddly I O O O O
Fee fi fiddly I OooooooooOOOOOO
Strummin on the band ole Joe dontcha know
 
The tumbleweeds chased me for miles as I could not seem to outsmart them.
darting.dancing.
a mad dash...
a whirlwind of ninja like moves
No cunning ploys can seem to derail their pursuit of me.
Did cowboys ever face such torment?
I would have so many questions for
the good.
the bad.
the ugly.
I don't care what Lucas said...
Han shot first.
Take that oh tumbleweed...take it
take it real good.
Like DEVO
minus the hats and whips.
I will find a way to evade all your dry cracked
sage brush
dust bowl
wild wild west
Will Smith
box office flop tomfoolery.
say my name...
say my name
say my name.
 
The people of CC are cool
They're always rockin' it old school
The people of CC are nice
They've got plenty of sugar and spice!
The people of CC are great
Pterodactyl

The end. *Bows*
 
The story of a man named Brady
or was it
Slim Shady?
Marshall Mathers ,Will Ferrell & Holly Robinson Pete
on a routine expedition
Climbing Mount Everest with a Sleestak
on your back
can be a real drag!
 
Sorry, you've been kicked out the club. This poem is too good!

Descyple said:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
And I will be buying
Neither for you.

(I'm sure that poem won't win me any congeniality awards!!!).
Click to expand...
 
Roses are red, I got some today,
when I find out why, I'll throw them away.

Violets are blue, I just started sneezing,
I love summer but it's hayfever season.

Hyacinth is pink and smells so sweet
but when I see the wasp I make my retreat.
 
Tintin said:
Sorry, you've been kicked out the club. This poem is too good!
Click to expand...

Sorry Tintin, I will try to do another "bad" poem below.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
If I don't give you them
Will a breakup ensue?
 
Acupuncture is like a needle to the eye of the tiger.
Tony the Tiger is
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat!
Grate me some cheese please..or better yet
break me off a piece of that KITKAT bar.
Selah.
 
When you're rising up
Out on the street
Get your Kix
It's kid tested and mother approved
Kids play'n in the street
But I'm quick on my feet
Can't seem to escape
Words like broken glass
Shatter this glass house
People throwing stones
Without a bruise or a scratch
Can you believe this?
Don't, they try to deceive us....

Oh this was fun. lol.
 
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