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joefizz
Guest
well as time goes on and a person gets older and older words turn out stranger and stranger!
I'm sorry.............
- Thread starter NotmebutHim
- Start date
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well as time goes on and a person gets older and older words turn out stranger and stranger!
Yulp.... now what does stranger mean? Lol
C
CandieM
Guest
I'm new, so I must have missed it. That, and I'm sporadic in the threads that I do comment on, so yeah, I am almost positive that I missed it.
I normally feel like there is something so "wrong" with me because of all the put-downs I get from other people. This happens *everywhere* in my life. You'd be surprised. Also, I live in a small town full of people that I don't truly know, but a lot of them make a point to be snarky to me if they see me in public. I keep to myself and avoid people, almost at all costs, all while getting things done in this small town, but I still run into people who deliberately berate me, for whatever reason. I don't know what I did to deserve it and I sometimes wish I knew why. At this point, I'd be lying if I said I wanted to be alive.
I normally feel like there is something so "wrong" with me because of all the put-downs I get from other people. This happens *everywhere* in my life. You'd be surprised. Also, I live in a small town full of people that I don't truly know, but a lot of them make a point to be snarky to me if they see me in public. I keep to myself and avoid people, almost at all costs, all while getting things done in this small town, but I still run into people who deliberately berate me, for whatever reason. I don't know what I did to deserve it and I sometimes wish I knew why. At this point, I'd be lying if I said I wanted to be alive.
Around CC you shouldn't take it personally when people disagree with you, or even debate with you.
That doesn't mean we don't like you, or that we don't want the best for you.
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CandieM
Guest
I don't understand the mentality of people who think that way. But if it means that I'm not actually hated -- I grew up being hated, which is a personal experience I still live with -- then 
that's just life, I suppose. I ask myself "What has to be wrong with someone who is hated?" I mean?? There are still people "out there" who do, and I assume that I'm not the only one, but ... why? I just don't get it. 
that's just life, I suppose. I ask myself "What has to be wrong with someone who is hated?" I mean?? There are still people "out there" who do, and I assume that I'm not the only one, but ... why? I just don't get it. 
I don't understand the mentality of people who think that way. But if it means that I'm not actually hated -- I grew up being hated, which is a personal experience I still live with -- then
An opinion does not equal a person... they are not the same.
That's how we can all disagree on opinions and still like each other as persons.
It's sounds like you're not used to that kind of thinking.
But this is how most rational Christians think.
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CandieM
Guest
To be honest, none of my thinking has anything to do with rationality or Christianity. It has to do with the upbringing that I had, which was basically that anything and everything that made me different meant that I endured ridicule on a regular basis. If that isn't hatred of some sort, then I don't know what is. Not sure if it's clear for people to see or not, but that's why I easily feel persecuted. Still live in a small town where I have to avoid people who want to humiliate me and mock me if they so much as see my face in public. Don't even know these people, as well, but for some reason they hate me because they hate my parents. Make that make sense? (lol) I don't know.
My thinking has to do with self-preservation, at this point. I'd like for people to be more understanding about that ... but it seems that if you aren't purely rational in thinking, then maybe you don't deserve to be understood? Who knows. I sure don't.
I don't know.My thinking has to do with self-preservation, at this point. I'd like for people to be more understanding about that ... but it seems that if you aren't purely rational in thinking, then maybe you don't deserve to be understood? Who knows. I sure don't.
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CandieM
Guest
To answer the FAQ about why I still live in this town: I plan on moving one day when I have enough funds. (lol) Trust me.
I think I MIGHT have run off a certain poster with one of my posts.
What I posted was true, but the timing was wrong, if you know what I mean.
Nah. You're not that powerful. If someone ran off, that's on them.
To be honest, none of my thinking has anything to do with rationality or Christianity. It has to do with the upbringing that I had, which was basically that anything and everything that made me different meant that I endured ridicule on a regular basis. If that isn't hatred of some sort, then I don't know what is. Not sure if it's clear for people to see or not, but that's why I easily feel persecuted. Still live in a small town where I have to avoid people who want to humiliate me and mock me if they so much as see my face in public. Don't even know these people, as well, but for some reason they hate me because they hate my parents. Make that make sense? (lol)
My thinking has to do with self-preservation, at this point. I'd like for people to be more understanding about that ... but it seems that if you aren't purely rational in thinking, then maybe you don't deserve to be understood? Who knows. I sure don't.
My previous post was not referring to whether or not you deserve to be understood.
I was only making the point that people here probably think differently than the people you're used to.
The people here will probably be more understanding, or at least they'll try to be.
There are a lot of nice girls here who would be happy to have you as a new friend,
and there are some older women around here who are very wise, and very helpful.
If you try, you'll be able to make a lot of new friends.
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CandieM
Guest
It was a question that I popped out there. I wonder if it means that? I don't know. Who knows.
If I make them, I lose them, and if don't, then I either don't exist or I'm hated by them. That's the pattern of my life. Friendship doesn't even exist to me anymore.
I talk to people online so I don't feel so isolated and unloved.
If I make them, I lose them, and if don't, then I either don't exist or I'm hated by them. That's the pattern of my life. Friendship doesn't even exist to me anymore.
I talk to people online so I don't feel so isolated and unloved.
I'm sorry you feel that way, young woman. I don't think anyone here will mistreat you.
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joefizz
Guest
Fascinating another person I can relate to!I don't understand the mentality of people who think that way. But if it means that I'm not actually hated -- I grew up being hated, which is a personal experience I still live with -- then
I definitely know what it's like to be "hated" or more in "particular" to be "unwanted" ever since I found out that my uncle wasn't my biological father and that his brother was instead it was "devastating" having "deny me" as his son pretty much "all my life" and yet he calls me son when it's "convenient for him".
I use to have a saying before I came fully to Christ "I hate and love everyone",the thought came to me because since I was a toddler my life was "confusing","messed up","mixed up,and reaking of "Evil" but small moments of "love" and "affection" were present and I at least got some "sense of morals" if you can call them that,like that you "have to" love your family,and rubbish like that.
Also you do seem a bit "familiar" though then again "everyone" does to me like a friend I've met or simply someone I've yet to befriend,if you wanna talk sometime I would be happy to talk with you about stuff like feeling "hated" story of my life like tons of other things,I suppose that's why I get along with most everyone here because well fortunately and unfortunately I have had so many experiences even at the "very start of my life"(someone attempted possibly to kill me when I was not even a year old by twisting my leg to break) all the way past my "new start" with Jesus to now,so seriously "unload your baggage" to me if you want I prefer even "strangers" doing so over my "crazy family" for the umpteenth time".
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joefizz
Guest
Yeah not everyone has a "tramatic" or "heart wrenching" life story like people such as myself to tell or relate to.(hence my totally whacked out,yet sensitive,yet insensitive,behaviour)
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Ugly
Guest
Smartest thing you've said on here so far.To be honest, none of my thinking has anything to do with rationality or Christianity. It has to do with the upbringing that I had, which was basically that anything and everything that made me different meant that I endured ridicule on a regular basis. If that isn't hatred of some sort, then I don't know what is. Not sure if it's clear for people to see or not, but that's why I easily feel persecuted. Still live in a small town where I have to avoid people who want to humiliate me and mock me if they so much as see my face in public. Don't even know these people, as well, but for some reason they hate me because they hate my parents. Make that make sense? (lol)
My thinking has to do with self-preservation, at this point. I'd like for people to be more understanding about that ... but it seems that if you aren't purely rational in thinking, then maybe you don't deserve to be understood? Who knows. I sure don't.
But you have made one mistake in your reasoning, which is an understandable mistake. You interpret how you're treated in your upbringing as personal. It wasn't, it just felt that way. But if it wasn't you someone else would've been subjected to the same treatment. It's just that people who behave in such a manner make it feel personal to make it seem that much worse.
Also you do have quite a victim mentality. This tends to bring out two responses 1) It reveals to bad people that you can be mistreated 2) it can have a negative effect on how people perceive you because you don't know anything else to talk about.
It would benefit you to approach people in a manner other than 'this is what's wrong with me' and instead just talk about other aspects of yourself that aren't perceived by you as negative, or even on subjects other than yourself. Establish a link with a person that isn't based on you speaking negatively about yourself. This will change how people view you early on, as well as how they may treat you.
Often people raised in hateful environments show the affects in their body language, speech and behavior. We already know your speech/behavior has been affected. So it's a sure bet your body language displays it too. This is like an alert to jerks that you are easy to mistreat.
All this can change, but it takes time and a lot of work.
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joefizz
Guest
(just to clarify my biological father's the one that denies me as his and has denied me since I was child)