Is it okay to marry someone just to have children?

[Papou]

Is it okay to marry someone just to have children? For example, if you prayed for and found someone (and you also think God has led him/her to you), however you are not "in love" with this person, would you get married? You do like this person though and could see yourself with this person long-term (he's loyal, kind, etc.). I would especially like to hear from divorced people with kids.

You don't need to get marry to have children. Insemination is an option that many have used to get children. However, it is certainly better to raise a family with a spouse. Whatever you do, don't wait for the perfect man because this does not exist.

 

[Kim82]

Insemination? But where will the inseminate come from? Why would anyone do such a thing? Just adopt. Simple.

Well if non exist. Let us live blissfully single then(if there is such a thing).

 

[Bede]

Roman concubines were not the same as Hebrew concubines. Hebrew concubines were wives. It appears they were slaves raised to the status of a wife.

There were some similarities. According to the New Advent web site, after discussing the meaning in OT times, says:

"The meaning of the term in Roman law, and consequently in early ecclesiastical records and writings, was much the same; a concubine was a quasi-wife, recognized by law if there was no legal wife. She was usually of a lower social grade than her husband, and her children, though not considered the equals of those of the legal wife (uxor) were nevertheless termed natural (naturales) to distinguish them from spurious offsprings (spurii). For this legitimate concubinage the Roman law did not require the intention of the two parties to remain together until death as man and wife; the Lex Julia and the Papia Poppæa allowing both temporary and permanent concubinage"

Th early church recognised a permanent concubine as validly married if the couple intended a lifelong and exclusinve relationship.

 

[Papou]

Insemination? But where will the inseminate come from? Why would anyone do such a thing? Just adopt. Simple.

Well if non exist. Let us live blissfully single then(if there is such a thing).

There are sperm banks that exists throughout the world and you can choose the donor from catalogs. Some people are using that for various reasons. Technology is changing everything ...

 

[tourist]

There are sperm banks that exists throughout the world and you can choose the donor from catalogs. Some people are using that for various reasons. Technology is changing everything ...

Next, you will have Amazon selling it if they don't already.

 

[tourist]

interesting that the ruling line went to Judah not Joseph...maybe God had a purpose for that, cos you think it SHOULD. have been Joseph except for the muck up with Leah needing to be married first. It just shows God wanted to give Leahs children a chance to make good I suppose. They were treated pretty unfairly by their dad Jacob who only really favoured Rachels children...

Not a good thing for a parent to show favoritism, favoring one child over another.

 

[Lanolin]

Not a good thing for a parent to show favoritism, favoring one child over another.

It happens all the time, sadly.

 

[Nehemiah6]

Is it okay to marry someone just to have children?

I don't believe this would be the sole motivator in any marriage. But it is an excellent reason to get married. In fact God designed marriage for this purpose.

So God created man in His own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created He them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. (Gen 1:27,28)

 

[KhedetOrthos]

Consider also that you don't have to be married in order to have children. In Vitro is always an option.

Intentional single parenthood is not a course a Christian should pursue.

 

[Whispered]

Intentional single parenthood is not a course a Christian should pursue.

Thank you for your opinion.

 

[Locoponydirtman]

Intentional single parenthood is not a course a Christian should pursue.

Agreed, children of single parents have a tough go of things, statistically speaking.
If you do you should adopt, at least then you make things better than they were for a child.

 

[Moses_Young]

There are sperm banks that exists throughout the world and you can choose the donor from catalogs. Some people are using that for various reasons. Technology is changing everything ...

Again, not sure how this is any different to adultery or fornication - possibly worse, because this is certainly premeditated. Wasn't the purpose of the laws against fornication to ensure that children were properly protected with a loving mother and father?

 

[Whispered]

I was listening to the song, The God Who Sees, while seeking the inspiration to answer another member on a thread when the opening lyric pertained to Hagar, the mother of Ishmael. Hagar was a single mother who bore the seed of Abraham to life when it was thought his wife Sarah was barren. And Ishmael, who was Abraham's first son, did not treat Isaac very well. Isaac was the son Abraham and Sarah did conceive as God had promised.
Hagar and Ishmael were made to leave the village of Abraham, Sarah and Isaac. And rather than return to her homeland Egypt, Hagar made her way into the wilderness and raised Ishmael there. She taught him how to survive, and he learned how to use the bow and arrow for hunting and defense.
And to this day he is considered to have been a wild man of the desert wilderness. And his descendants were considered to be the wild people of the desert lands, and what we today think of as Arabs.
Ishmael and Hagar figure prominently in the Muslim's Koran as well.

The point being, Hagar was a single mother. Had it not been Gods will she bear Abraham's first born son to life I trust it would not have been so.

If you feel led to be a mom, pray about it. Pray God sends you a husband so as to have a family together so as to raise your child. If it turns out you don't find any man you'd see fit to marry and you still want a child, Gods will be done. As it always is.

And don't be upset or let yourself be over persuaded you are wrong in this by those who have very strong opinions about how wrong it is to be a single mom. Remember Hagar. Remember Mary, who conceived Jesus before she was wed to Joseph who was not his father.

A good woman who raises her son right and with love and patience is a blessing. There are many a family that has children, a dad and mom together in one house, and yet they're unfit parents. Their kids grow to be a problem as adults, and were problems growing into adulthood.
Being with a man doesn't make for a good child.

Being a loving mother to your baby and raising them in love and with proper loving guidance is what makes for a good child. And your child is not a bastard, as some in culture in America would insist is so. Your child has a father. Whether you marry or not. If you are able to lay with that man, I would suggest you also be able to remain in communication too. Because every child raised by a single parent is going to sooner or later ask where is mom, where is dad?

It is a blessing if they know that answer. And also love who they find there.

God be with you.

 

[Whispered]

 

[KhedetOrthos]

I was listening to the song, The God Who Sees, while seeking the inspiration to answer another member on a thread when the opening lyric pertained to Hagar, the mother of Ishmael. Hagar was a single mother who bore the seed of Abraham to life when it was thought his wife Sarah was barren. And Ishmael, who was Abraham's first son, did not treat Isaac very well. Isaac was the son Abraham and Sarah did conceive as God had promised.
Hagar and Ishmael were made to leave the village of Abraham, Sarah and Isaac. And rather than return to her homeland Egypt, Hagar made her way into the wilderness and raised Ishmael there. She taught him how to survive, and he learned how to use the bow and arrow for hunting and defense.
And to this day he is considered to have been a wild man of the desert wilderness. And his descendants were considered to be the wild people of the desert lands, and what we today think of as Arabs.
Ishmael and Hagar figure prominently in the Muslim's Koran as well.

The point being, Hagar was a single mother. Had it not been Gods will she bear Abraham's first born son to life I trust it would not have been so.

I can’t think of a worse example to promote single motherhood than the decision that brought us Islam, jihad, and sharia.

 

[MegMarch]

Is it okay to marry someone just to have children? For example, if you prayed for and found someone (and you also think God has led him/her to you), however you are not "in love" with this person, would you get married? You do like this person though and could see yourself with this person long-term (he's loyal, kind, etc.). I would especially like to hear from divorced people with kids.

I am a single mom. I was an unbeliever when I divorced. I've desired my son to have a Christian father figure who is present and investing in his life. However, it probably goes without saying that I don't want just any man to be my son's father, and I would apply this same principle when considering the option of marrying for the sole intention of having children.

I would never marry someone just so I could have children. I believe that is taking hold of a person for the sake of accomplishing a selfish result. This is called using someone.

 

[Whispered]

I can’t think of a worse example to promote single motherhood than the decision that brought us Islam, jihad, and sharia.

There's just no way to respond to such ignorance. Except to state that.

 

[chanchuinchoy]

Is it okay to marry someone just to have children? For example, if you prayed for and found someone (and you also think God has led him/her to you), however you are not "in love" with this person, would you get married? You do like this person though and could see yourself with this person long-term (he's loyal, kind, etc.). I would especially like to hear from divorced people with kids.

Very strange. How can our good God find you someone whom is not right for you to marry? It is you who are against God when you marry someone whom you doesn't love.

 

[tourist]

Intentional single parenthood is not a course a Christian should pursue.

Some Christian singles adopt. Some Christian singles with children are single because of a divorce.

 

[chanchuinchoy]

I am a single mom. I was an unbeliever when I divorced. I've desired my son to have a Christian father figure who is present and investing in his life. However, it probably goes without saying that I don't want just any man to be my son's father, and I would apply this same principle when considering the option of marrying for the sole intention of having children.

I would never marry someone just so I could have children. I believe that is taking hold of a person for the sake of accomplishing a selfish result. This is called using someone.

There are many single Christian men available out there.Take your time to choose.