Is it truly better to have loved and lost, than never loved at all?
- Thread starter PopClick
- Start date
-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
J
Jullianna
Guest
But is it true, in your opinion? I have found it to be true.
Do you wish that you had never met the person that it most hurt to lose? Absolutely not. Wouldn't have missed it for the world.
Do you wish that you had never met the person that it most hurt to lose? Absolutely not. Wouldn't have missed it for the world.
N
nw2u
Guest
Yes, I do actually wish that. It would have made an extreme positive difference in my life. No children would have been unborn. We had none together.
J
Jullianna
Guest
I'm so very sorry to read that. Was it a bad relationship or a good one? Do you think this would make a difference somehow?
Last edited by a moderator:
I think it is a true statement. It colors a part of what makes us human beings. There is a whole new side to me that never would have awakened were it not for this one girl who rejected me about 11 months ago.
And no, she has had too much of a profound impact on me to wish it away. We were so very similar in a lot of weird ways that it was hard to take the fact she didn't find me interesting enough to be a second date or find a second date feasible.
Nevertheless, I found her powerfully attractive, more attractive than I had found any woman before or since. She made me realize that one can be a "nerd" or "geek" and still have mating potential (terminology employed to highlight the nerdiness of the writer). In fact, my chances of finding happiness are greater because whoever I end up with with find me attractive in my happiest state or share the love for scifi, post-punk, history, politics, and unchained speculation.
N
nw2u
Guest
I'm going to say No.
Love derailed my life.
I love doing loads of fun things and when I'm in love, I don't unless I'm doing them with the person I'm in love with. Everything before seems dumb and everything after just feels like chasing the dragon.
You know that person that is full of life, makes everyone laugh and is always on some crazy adventure. <That was me.
Now, no one gets my jokes, my crazy adventures just make me say, "wish you were here" and I'm actually pretty boring.
Love derailed my life.
I love doing loads of fun things and when I'm in love, I don't unless I'm doing them with the person I'm in love with. Everything before seems dumb and everything after just feels like chasing the dragon.
You know that person that is full of life, makes everyone laugh and is always on some crazy adventure. <That was me.
Now, no one gets my jokes, my crazy adventures just make me say, "wish you were here" and I'm actually pretty boring.
J
Jullianna
Guest
Do those who say "no" believe it may lead you to treasure love all the more should it happen again? Or will you fear it?
Agreed. I wish I hadn't hurt them, but I'm most thankful and blessed to have known every one.
I think the opposite is true. As an example, imagine for a minute that you lived in the lap of luxury in a huge house, dine on gourmet food, travel all over the world, and then one day you lose everything and end up having to downsize yourself into an average house in an average neighborhood. No more resort hotel stays or gourmet food. Do you think that person feels LESS pain than someone who has never been rich? I think not.
Is pain, hardship, sorrow, loss, ext, really all that bad a thing?
Many people think they want their lives to be easy, happy, uneventful, but the reality is...what would you live for? Who feels the greater? The one who has been healed from hurt? The one who has never hurt?
How would you grow if not challenged? How would you learn if not by failure? How would you preserver if nothing kept you from running the race?
Romans 5 NIV - Peace and Hope - Therefore, since we - Bible Gateway
*5 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we[a] have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we[c] also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.
Philippians 4 NIV - Closing Appeal for Steadfastness and - Bible Gateway
*11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
Scriptures on Suffering
*My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life. (Psalm 119:50)
For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.
(2 Corinthians 1:5)
He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. (Isaiah 53:3)
Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because he who has suffered in his body is done with sin. (I Peter 4:1)
As a result, he does not live the rest of his earthly life for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God.
(1 Peter 4:2)
Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, for as many years as we have seen trouble. (Psalm 90:15)
Surely it was for my benefit that I suffered such anguish.
(Isaiah 38:17)
It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees. (Psalm 119:71)
I have tested you in the furnace of affliction. (Isaiah 48:10)
We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. (Romans 5:3-4)
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be joy revealed in us. (Romans 8:18)
J
Jullianna
Guest
For me though, the treasure of love is imperishable, whether the object of it was lost or not, you know? Unlike tangible, perishable things...love remains.
I've loved in relationships that did go well and in relationships that didn't. My love for those people remains. It did not follow the person. It's mine.
G
GRA
Guest
I would say that it is a matter of perspective...
The more the one who lived in the lap of luxury appreciated what they had (that they lost) - perhaps they would be all-the-more glad to have had it? If what you got out of the experience (positive) out-weighed the pain, etc. (negative) -- would it not be worth it because of what was gained - even though there was also loss?
Based on the 'common phrase' and its general use -- I am assuming that there is substantial 'gain' (positive) involved - by definition (in/of the question).
.
G
GRA
Guest
JK
Ok, I think I need to make it clear that I'm NOT saying that you won't get anything lasting and/or fruitful out of having loved someone..
What I am saying is that someone who loved and lost probably feels more pain and sorrow (languishing over the love that they miss) than someone who has never loved and only experiences loneliness and frustration (which can often be overcome quickly with a good movie or something).
See, this is why I usually stay out of serious discussions (and semi-serious ones too)
What I am saying is that someone who loved and lost probably feels more pain and sorrow (languishing over the love that they miss) than someone who has never loved and only experiences loneliness and frustration (which can often be overcome quickly with a good movie or something).
See, this is why I usually stay out of serious discussions (and semi-serious ones too)
Last edited:
I'm sure that fun loving person is still inside of you Doug. You're just going through a tough time right now. I believe life is a series of self-revelations and self-re-evaluations. It seems that you are in a period or re-evaluation right now.
See, this is why I usually stay out of serious discussions (and semi-serious ones too)
Don't you dare stay out of this discussion! I was hoping that you'd post, because I wanted to see what you had to say.