IS LIVING TOGETHER A SIN?

[starfield]

Cohabitation is NOT fornication. Cohabitation is living together/ shared housing. Fornication is having illicit/sinful sex. The two words are entirely separate and distinct terms. "Shacking-up" means cohabitating as if married without the benefit of the MARRIAGE... sometimes referred to as a "try-out marriage"... it is sinful.

I am not referring to two college mates sharing an apartment or something like that, but rather two unmarried people of the opposite sex living together in an intimate relationship. Premarital cohabitation seems to be the accepted norm today and many, even professed Christians, engage in it thinking that it is an innocent lifestyle that God winks at. Two people living together and making babies with the intention of getting married is outright disobedience to God's command. It probably has a higher risk for divorce too. I know some hold that living together before marriage is fine as long as there is no sexual intimacy however it follows fornication, it could be a stumbling block to the other individual, and a wise person will avoid such situation that can lead to temptation to sin.
Gen 2:24- Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. You become one flesh through marriage which God will recognize, not cohabitation.

 

[Cobus]

Well as God does not do paperwork, no paper or law is neccesary to marry two people. This is what I think...
No paper has ever made two people commit. No law has ever made two people commit to eachother. Love commits. It is the LOVE between two people that make them bond and become ONE! Yes I agree if the law of the land says you should LEGALLY be married, then do so. But that NEVEr detered millions to divorce after.

When the "Voortrekkers" or the frontier people moved inland to the wild, there were no laws there. They only had their faith and their Bibles. So when two young people will fall in love and they wanted to get married, the group leader, would bless them and they were considered married.

What is marriage. Marriage is the COMMITMENT between two people that wants to live together in love. I think the moment two people commit to eachother, they are married in God's eyes. Why would two people want to live togather in the first place. Only one of two reasons... fleshly lust, or heavenly match. One will work the other not, if God does not change it.

I married out of pride and stupidity, cheated many times despite the whole church seromony and legal papers. But then God stepped in and helped me to be a husband as I should be. Then there is two of our friends, they NEVER went through the church thing or the legal thing, but they are living together and NEVER cheated on one-another. They are the strongest in the commitment of ALL I know. Who is the more or better married in God's eyes?

In afrikaans we say two people "TROU". Trou in afrikaans means , commit, honor, bond, or join. It is like a life long promise to be TRUE to eachother. That promise can be hnored by God if neither lies about the commitment. But that commitment can be shared in the privacy of a room between two people. Even if they are unbelievers, the promise and commitment can be honored. And the moment they share a bed, it is irreversable. If they then break the commitment it is adultery. But if they do not, they will be married in God's eyes and He can bless them as any other married in God couple!

 

[Stephen63]

I think the marriage begins when the INTENT of being together begins. It takes two.

Like, for instance, two people meet. One isn't so sure, the other is keen. Three months later one thinks 'I love this man', and the man 'I love this woman.
'We want to be together'.
The whole 'sex before marriage thing', I believe, is a deterrant to having sex before two people are properly commited to each other, whatever the signal of that commitment may be. Because we all know, sex complicates things.
It is a powerful tool. A very powerful tool.
And I think it's important that two people love and respect each other enough before they engage in it.
i don't think it's a case of 'get a piece of paper before you have sex'.
it was customary in Jewish days for the couple to live together for a period of time, usually one year, before having sex and therefore being 'Married together' ie. Becoming one flesh.
It is about getting to know the person.
.

This is incorrect. Note:

The first major step in a Jewish marriage was betrothal.1 Betrothal involved the establishment of a marriage covenant. By Jesus' time it was usual for such a covenant to be established as the result of the prospective bridegroom taking the initiative.2 The prospective bridegroom would travel from his father's house to the home of the prospective bride. There he would negotiate with the father of the young woman to determine the price (mohar) that he must pay to purchase his bride.3 Once the bridegroom paid the purchase price, the marriage covenant was thereby established, and the young man and woman were regarded to be husband and wife.4 From that moment on the bride was declared to be consecrated or sanctified, set apart exclusively for her bridegroom.5 As a symbol of the covenant relationship that had been established, the groom and bride would drink from a cup of wine over which a betrothal benediction had been pronounced.6After the marriage covenant had been established, the groom would leave the home of the bride and return to his father's house. There he would remain separate from his bride for a period of twelve months.7 This period of separation afforded the bride time to gather her trousseau and to prepare for married life.8 The groom occupied himself with the preparation of living accommodations in his father's house to which he could bring his bride.

You must have read it wrong.

 

[Enow]

1Timothy 4

1 Timothy 4

New International Version (NIV)

4 The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons. 2 Such teachings come through hypocritical liars, whose consciences have been seared as with a hot iron. 3 They forbid people to marry and order them to abstain from certain foods, which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and who know the truth. 4 For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, 5 because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer

People don't want to marry because of money, disability, food stamps other benefits

The scripture reference people forbidding them to marry: not why those that do not marry.

Although it may be true for some as to why they do not marry, as for another party being responsible, I can testify to being a victim of that oppression.

Jesus is Lord & I have forgiven them, even though I am still under that oppression & cannot escape, & so He continues to help me to continue to forgive them for they know not what they do. Since God led Joseph to love and to forgive his brothers, He will continue to help me to do this too.

1 Timothy 6:6But godliness with contentment is great gain. 7 For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. 8 And having food and raiment let us be therewith content.

1 Corinthians 7:29 But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none; 30 And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not; 31 And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away. 32 But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:

Romans 12:1I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. 2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. 3 For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.

I do rest in hope that Jesus Christ will deliver me soon to His abode above that He has prepared for me as I rest in Him & all of His promises to me to help me follow to Him & thus to abide in Him by continuing in His words to be His disciple by His grace and by His help. I am where I am by the grace of God wherein I nor any man can boast. I shall give all glory to the Lord when He brings me Home.

 

[quickfire]

You know how to get the discussion going!!

There was a discussion about this last Nigh in chat and I have to say that in a spiritual sense it is clear that both Man and women are spiritual married once they have become one
It is clear in the bible even if they do not have a marriage certificate the moment that two become One in flesh its no different than going to church and getting lawfully married the Man Or women must treat there partner as if they had been lawfully married
So as long as the couple do not cheat on each other with out the marriage certifate I dont see how you can call it fornification
Fornication in my eyes would be a One Night stand Or knowingly engaging in sex just to use someone
.
The bible is quite clear on this Man and women becoming One in the flesh from that day on they must treat it as marriage same rules apply as if you had been lawfully married in a spiritual sense.

Same rules apply to partnership as if you where married in a spiritual sense .
.
So in a spiritual sense partners can become widows and adulterers just like lawfully married people.

Do you need to go to church to give god an oath he can hear yo through prayer and I would also like to point out for some people here who say partners living togeather who are not married are committing sin have no idea what there talking about and dont think you can judge people by your own Standards because yer carnt not every single partnership treat
each other the way you think.
I think really your just picking on innocent loving couples who treat each other as if they where married very bad and very judgemental.

God know that two can become one before marriage
I do have scriptures to back that up. And if its love as in a honey moon and not lust as some of you num skulls call it how daré you call it a sin

 

[kenisyes]

Although it may be true for some as to why they do not marry, as for another party being responsible, I can testify to being a victim of that oppression.

Jesus is Lord & I have forgiven them, even though I am still under that oppression & cannot escape, & so He continues to help me to continue to forgive them for they know not what they do.

Are you saying that someone forbade you get married? This sounds so strange in this day and age. Can I ask for a little detail? Or are we talking about a proposed spouse who backed out?

 

[Stephen63]

There was a discussion about this last Nigh in chat and I have to say that in a spiritual sense it is clear that both Man and women are spiritual married once they have become one
It is clear in the bible even if they do not have a marriage certificate the moment that two become One in flesh its no different than going to church and getting lawfully married the Man Or women must treat there partner as if they had been lawfully married
So as long as the couple do not cheat on each other with out the marriage certifate I dont see how you can call it fornification
Fornication in my eyes would be a One Night stand Or knowingly engaging in sex just to use someone
.
The bible is quite clear on this Man and women becoming One in the flesh from that day on they must treat it as marriage same rules apply as if you had been lawfully married in a spiritual sense.

Same rules apply to partnership as if you where married in a spiritual sense .
.
So in a spiritual sense partners can become widows and adulterers just like lawfully married people.

Do you need to go to church to give god an oath he can hear yo through prayer and I would also like to point out for some people here who say partners living togeather who are not married are committing sin have no idea what there talking about and dont think you can judge people by your own Standards because yer carnt not every single partnership treat
each other the way you think.
I think really your just picking on innocent loving couples who treat each other as if they where married very bad and very judgemental.

God know that two can become one before marriage
I do have scriptures to back that up. And if its love as in a honey moon and not lust as some of you num skulls call it how daré you call it a sin

How dare I? Let me show you how I dare call it sin:
1. The great majority of people who live together outside of marriage do so without a commitment. There are a few that do, but the majority do not. The welfare system is overloaded with single parents whose "partner" has run off and left them with their kids.
1 Timothy 5:8 8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.
2. The Bible says we are to obey the laws of the land as long as they don't conflict with the Scriptures. In the United States, a couple is not married until they go through the ceremony and fill out the application for a marriage license. Since the law requires this, they are not considered married in the eyes of the government.
3. Many couples who are living together cheat on one another because they don't believe they're married.
4. Couples living together do not submit to one another according to Scripture. They believe they can do their own thing, & go & come as they please.
5. Many unmarried couples live off of welfare & foodstamps by fraud stating on their applications they are single.
I'm sure there are others that can show many reasons besides this.
To what you quoted above, how dare you come in here and call people names and accuse them of judging when you don't know all the facts? That is improper and disorderly as a christian. Even if you were correct, you do not have that right. I would suggest that an apology is in order to the people you accused on this thread.

 

[BarlyGurl]

>>>>I'm sure there are others that can show many reasons besides this.<<<<

Marriage carries with it personal, spiritual, communal and social responsibilities... which is why a "spiritual" marriage DOES NOT qualify as a marriage. Generally, I see MEN wanting to subscribe to this type of "faux-marriage" because they really are most interested in having all the benefits of marriage without any of the RISK. I have also seen plenty of women fall for this because the desire to have her needs met "today" doesn't cause her to think about how truly unsecure and risky a scenario she had put herself in. Real marraige demonstrates I love you NOW and in the FUTURE. Everything else is just "I might be committed now but not beyond, next week or month or 6 month from now".

 

[StGiles]

Living together as man and wife does not require the law to recognise it it requires God to recognise it.

We have in so many way lost the whole meaning of marriage now for so many of us it is about having a piece of paper to say a commitment was made.

Looking at a couple joining together in the eyes of God is not the same as that paper in any way.

Any of us that Married in a church will know the signing of the register is the legal requirement ( the law of the land).

Before we criticise what others Stephen are doing perhaps by our set of morals it is wise to check based on Gods morals. should a man leave his parents house and take a woman as his wife ( In uk she would be classed as common law wife ) as long as this is a union in Gods eyes then no sin is committed.

In today's society where a man could not just find a plot of land and build his spouse a new home perhaps they may have to live with their parents but it could still be a union in the eyes of God

 

[quickfire]

there is only a sin if the partner is using the other partner .

ok two two couples one married and one not couple one partner thinks he can treat his wife how he likes it is god given right because he has a marrige certificate .

ok couple 2 not lawfully married but sprirutal married they love each other very much both never behave in a way that they are using each other. they both treat each other with respect.

which one do you think god would not be to happy about

 

[StGiles]

I agree quick fire a piece of paper does not a marriage make in Gods Eyes it is the way the union is based

 

[quickfire]

i agree i feel verry passionate about this and i have felt love at first sight just through eye contact alone god loves his children.
i feel that god can join people in union just through friendship alone .

i feel god will draw people togeather who are truly good for one another and if thats just through friendship and the friendship blossoms then there is a union that god will zeal spirutual

 

[quickfire]

ok i will leave the tread now sorry stephen if my words affended you but i do not ever say no names when i am upset about something unless i am face to face with the person never have never will. i have kept this in for a very long time and i will never bring this subject up for the reason its upto god to decide. and i dont want to talk to anyone about personal relations
and the reason why i am upset about this is simply because someone looked at my profile live in chat one night about 4 months ago and started asking me questions about my realtionship and told me i was commiting fornification live in chat and spoke about relationship as if it where meeeningless and basically told me i would go to hell and i would not be saved i left for christian chat for 2 and a half months after that
he nether asked me anything or bothered to ask why i was not lawfully married and thats why so many time i get upset because no one asks why i get so upset that people can say these things and think for god and think they have the power of god to say you are living in sin


i will just say one thing do you think adam and eve where joined to geather spirutual they where the first couple did they write there own marriage certificate as god created them that way to love each other. the garden of eden was a loving place and it still exists today

 

[BarlyGurl]

Quickfire... you are missing it regarding marriage. God honors a marriage entered into by consent to a man and a woman, solemnized before an audience of witnesses and intentionally demonstrating "married" to a public audience thereafter in accordance with the social and legal dictates customary to the nation/region/culture. You are living a "private" marriage that in public view is neither legally binding nor defendable... I would recommend you correct that... soon.

 

[Stephen63]

ok i will leave the tread now sorry stephen if my words affended you but i do not ever say no names when i am upset about something unless i am face to face with the person never have never will. i have kept this in for a very long time and i will never bring this subject up for the reason its upto god to decide. and i dont want to talk to anyone about personal relations
and the reason why i am upset about this is simply because someone looked at my profile live in chat one night about 4 months ago and started asking me questions about my realtionship and told me i was commiting fornification live in chat and spoke about relationship as if it where meeeningless and basically told me i would go to hell and i would not be saved i left for christian chat for 2 and a half months after that
he nether asked me anything or bothered to ask why i was not lawfully married and thats why so many time i get upset because no one asks why i get so upset that people can say these things and think for god and think they have the power of god to say you are living in sin


i will just say one thing do you think adam and eve where joined to geather spirutual they where the first couple did they write there own marriage certificate as god created them that way to love each other. the garden of eden was a loving place and it still exists today

What offended me was the name calling on a christian site. This isn't just about me, but all the other bloggers as well.

I never checked your stats. I didn't have a clue. Like I said, such a relationship rarely works that way. Be rest assured I would never slam you like that. What's not proper for others isn't proper for me, either. I would advise you to leave your stats blank as to keep that from happening again. This leaves you wide open for criticism. Please understand what is posted here can be used to excuse someone who doesn't have your standards. They will take advantage of it. Because they can, this means we could give someone the "excuse" or "license" to sin. I wouldn't want to stand before God for teaching someone how to sin.

About your last statement. Just WHO could Adam & Eve cheat with?

 

[Kefa52]

They say the divorce rate for people that were shacked-up first is 68%
78% in California

 

[quickfire]

What offended me was the name calling on a christian site. This isn't just about me, but all the other bloggers as well.

I never checked your stats. I didn't have a clue. Like I said, such a relationship rarely works that way. Be rest assured I would never slam you like that. What's not proper for others isn't proper for me, either. I would advise you to leave your stats blank as to keep that from happening again. This leaves you wide open for criticism. Please understand what is posted here can be used to excuse someone who doesn't have your standards. They will take advantage of it. Because they can, this means we could give someone the "excuse" or "license" to sin. I wouldn't want to stand before God for teaching someone how to sin.

About your last statement. Just WHO could Adam & Eve cheat with?

ok fair enough

 

[kenisyes]

>>>>I'm sure there are others that can show many reasons besides this.<<<<

Marriage carries with it personal, spiritual, communal and social responsibilities... which is why a "spiritual" marriage DOES NOT qualify as a marriage. Generally, I see MEN wanting to subscribe to this type of "faux-marriage" because they really are most interested in having all the benefits of marriage without any of the RISK. I have also seen plenty of women fall for this because the desire to have her needs met "today" doesn't cause her to think about how truly unsecure and risky a scenario she had put herself in. Real marraige demonstrates I love you NOW and in the FUTURE. Everything else is just "I might be committed now but not beyond, next week or month or 6 month from now".

Could you give an example of communal and social responsibilities that require a formal marriage ceremony and are still important in society today?

 

[quickfire]

Could you give an example of communal and social responsibilities that require a formal marriage ceremony and are still important in society today?

600 years ago there was no church weddings and signed paperwork a priest simple just came to your house and gave his blessing

 

[hug-a-bug]

from what i have been told yes u should be married