Is this going to be you?

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Feb 7, 2015
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#1
10th grade
As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my "best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and I handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

11th grade
The phone rang. It was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broken her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Senior year
The day before prom she walked to my locker. My date is sick" she said; he's not going to go. Well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step. I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she isn't thinking of me like that, and I know it. Then she said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Graduation Day
A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as she floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "you're my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

A Few Years Later
Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watch her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said "you came!". She said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Funeral
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend". At the service, they read a diary entry she had written in her high school years. This is what it said: “I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me!”

“I wish I had too...”, I thought to myself, and I cried.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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Tennessee
#2
Fear of rejection often results in a loss opportunity for enduring love. Your story is tragic and has happen to many others who failed to act for one reason or another when a rare opportunity presents itself.
 

Angela_s

Senior Member
Nov 21, 2017
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#3
If this is your story, I feel so sorry for you :( .
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,243
16,252
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#4
If this is your story, I feel so sorry for you :( .
I'm sure that Willie would not want you feeling sorry for him. He has been blessed with a wonderful wife. I have seen both him and his wife a few times for lunch and they are both spiritual servants of God. He did not tell his story for pity but only wants others to avoid the same mistake in letting their fears result in a loss opportunity for enduring love.
 
Feb 7, 2015
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#6
If this is your story, I feel so sorry for you :( .
Isn't it everyone's story in one way or another?

I think we all have areas in which we look back and say, "If only..."
 
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Feb 7, 2015
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#7
Can anyone tell it is a cold, rainy day here, just starting yet another year that didn't begin quite as hoped for?
 

Angela_s

Senior Member
Nov 21, 2017
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#8
Isn't it everyone's story in one way or another?

I think we all have areas in which we look back and say, "If only..."
I agree but I weirdly don't. I like the fact that I did wrong things and learned from them :) .
I wouldn't change anything from my tiny life :) .
 
Feb 7, 2015
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#9
I agree but I weirdly don't. I like the fact that I did wrong things and learned from them :) .
I wouldn't change anything from my tiny life :) .
Oh, God! I would.
 

Jimbone

Senior Member
Aug 22, 2014
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#10
I agree but I weirdly don't. I like the fact that I did wrong things and learned from them :) .
I wouldn't change anything from my tiny life :) .
I agree 100%, even the hardest parts of it, I am thankful for everything He has blessed me with, especially the test that help put my view and perception of truth into a better more "true" perspective. Still I agree with not allowing fear of any kind to stifle living in and speaking truth in all facets of life.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
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#11
“I wish I had too...”, I thought to myself, and I cried.
Are you trying to make us all cry? ;)

This song kept playing in my mind after reading your OP :)

[video=youtube;0X2ee2A2IGU]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0X2ee2A2IGU[/video]
 

Corbinscam

Senior Member
Jul 17, 2016
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#12
Sad stuff...heavy too.
This isn't my story...but I've done similar things and wished I could have changed how I handled the individual days so it'd have impacted the future. Anyone who hasn't had situations they'd have handled differently...hasn't dealt with much in life...imo. Not being rude but life teaches lessons....it's not a cake walk...but learning the first few times helps lol.
 

Corbinscam

Senior Member
Jul 17, 2016
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#13
[video=youtube;2A4ECDeY-6o]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2A4ECDeY-6o[/video]

My pops made me listen to this a long time ago...the op made me think of it.
 
Feb 7, 2015
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#14
I like this:

If Tomorrow Starts Without Me…


If tomorrow starts without me, and I’m not here to see,
If the sun should rise you find your eyes all filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn’t cry the way you did today,
While thinking of the many things we didn’t get to say.
I know how much you love me, as much as I love you
And each time that you think of me, I know you’ll miss me too.
But when tomorrow starts without me please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name and took me by the hand.
He said my place was ready, in heaven far above
And that I’d have to leave behind all those I dearly love.
But as I turned and walked away a tear fell from my eye.
For all my life I’d always thought, I didn’t want to die.
I had so much to live for, so much left yet to do.
It seemed almost impossible that I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays the good ones and the bad.
I thought of all the love we shared, and all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday, just even for a while,
I’d say goodbye and kiss you and maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized that this could never be,
For emptiness and memories would take the place of me.
When I thought of worldly things I might miss come tomorrow
I thought of you and when I did my heart was filled with sorrow.
When I walked through heavens gates I felt so much at home.
God looked down and smiled at me from his great golden throne
He said, “This is eternity and all I’ve promised you”
Today your life on earth has passed but here life starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow, but today will always last
And since each day is the same there’s no longing for the past.
You have been so faithful so trusting and so true.
Though there were times you did some things you knew you shouldn’t do.
You have been forgiven and now at last you’re free.
So won’t you come and take my hand and share my life with me?
So when tomorrow starts with out me don’t think we’re far apart,
For every time you think of me, I’m right here in your heart.

Author: David Romano
 

WineRose

Senior Member
Jan 3, 2017
3,631
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Row A, Column 9
#15
I don't have to worry about that. It would be kinda awkward, since my (closest) best friend is a religious 16-year-old girl, and as far as I can tell, she's as straight as an arrow, lol.

By the way...is that based on a true story?
 

Corbinscam

Senior Member
Jul 17, 2016
560
35
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#16
I don't have to worry about that. It would be kinda awkward, since my (closest) best friend is a religious 16-year-old girl, and as far as I can tell, she's as straight as an arrow, lol.

By the way...is that based on a true story?

I don't think I'd consider it worry...I don't sit around worrying about what will happen but I also stopped living for right then. I've done some many things in the last year or so that people didn't approve of...I've taken risks because I felt like God said do it....and I don't regret them at all...I regret the times I was too afraid of another persons reaction to do something I needed to do. And for the record your signature is awesome. lol
 

Corbinscam

Senior Member
Jul 17, 2016
560
35
28
#17
I like this:

If Tomorrow Starts Without Me…


If tomorrow starts without me, and I’m not here to see,
If the sun should rise you find your eyes all filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn’t cry the way you did today,
While thinking of the many things we didn’t get to say.
I know how much you love me, as much as I love you
And each time that you think of me, I know you’ll miss me too.
But when tomorrow starts without me please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name and took me by the hand.
He said my place was ready, in heaven far above
And that I’d have to leave behind all those I dearly love.
But as I turned and walked away a tear fell from my eye.
For all my life I’d always thought, I didn’t want to die.
I had so much to live for, so much left yet to do.
It seemed almost impossible that I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays the good ones and the bad.
I thought of all the love we shared, and all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday, just even for a while,
I’d say goodbye and kiss you and maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized that this could never be,
For emptiness and memories would take the place of me.
When I thought of worldly things I might miss come tomorrow
I thought of you and when I did my heart was filled with sorrow.
When I walked through heavens gates I felt so much at home.
God looked down and smiled at me from his great golden throne
He said, “This is eternity and all I’ve promised you”
Today your life on earth has passed but here life starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow, but today will always last
And since each day is the same there’s no longing for the past.
You have been so faithful so trusting and so true.
Though there were times you did some things you knew you shouldn’t do.
You have been forgiven and now at last you’re free.
So won’t you come and take my hand and share my life with me?
So when tomorrow starts with out me don’t think we’re far apart,
For every time you think of me, I’m right here in your heart.

Author: David Romano
I'm not a crying type...but this gets me. I've woke up without someone I'd never imagined living without...and four years later I still see him in almost everything I do. I said "whatchu talking about willis" to my son today and laughed so hard I cried....because I opened my mouth but it sounded like pops when it came out lol. Proof to me that a good man is never really gone...his body isn't here...his legacy won't stop. Death can't take that. Thanks for sharing this.
 
Feb 7, 2015
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#18
I'm not a crying type...but this gets me. I've woke up without someone I'd never imagined living without...and four years later I still see him in almost everything I do. I said "whatchu talking about willis" to my son today and laughed so hard I cried....because I opened my mouth but it sounded like pops when it came out lol. Proof to me that a good man is never really gone...his body isn't here...his legacy won't stop. Death can't take that. Thanks for sharing this.
This is a true story about myself I wrote awhile back. (Let's call it, "In memory of Pops.") I updated the ages for today.

The old man.

Today, more than sixty years later, that’s all I can really remember him as: The old man. I’m sure I knew his name at that time, and it was probably “Mr.” Something or other. He was likely just as old as I remember him. About 10 years younger than I am now. And though his name now eludes my memory, I can recall almost every detail of his appearance, and of the little garage workshop where he spent most of his days.

Our three or four year-long relationship began with just an occasional nod, as we neighborhood kids would ride our bikes past the open door of his woodshop. Before long, I would stop every now and then, leaning on my handlebars… watching. I don’t recall any of the other kids finding that open door very interesting. But I became enthralled with the world inside. There were sights and sounds so intriguing that I couldn’t have stayed away if my life depended upon it.

And Smells! The sweet aroma generated by the beautiful table saw… the dozens of different smells so biting, emanating from the mysterious shelves of varnishes, lacquers, and paints. The ever present cup of coffee at his elbow. They all drew me like a magnet.

Who knows what finally got me to muster enough courage to actually move beyond the threshold, and begin asking questions. But I did, and, one step at a time, the old man let me share a little of his special place. At first, I just stood by the workbench, scurrying to get out of the way when he would move to a power tool to work yet another bit of magic on the piece of wood in his hands. Then, he would ask me to maybe hand him something that was a bit out of his reach… a screw perhaps, or maybe even a tool!

Before long, I was helping a little more effectively. He let me sweep up. Boy was that ever a thrill to me. With that broom in my hand, I got to move all around that shop, savoring the discoveries of so many neat things in all the dark corners and recesses. Then, he let me actually sand on some of the pieces. How cool!

You’d think that one of my best memories would have been of him showing me how to feed a piece of wood into the saw… or how to drill a hole without splitting out the opposite side… or learning to appreciate the subtleties found within the grain of a select piece of hardwood. But, exciting as all that was, it was something else that remained with me for many years thereafter.

One day, the phone rang at our house, and my mother told me that Mr. “?” wanted me to come down to his house. This was a first. I didn’t know he even knew where I lived. Well, I ran the block or so to his garage door, and could hardly believe my eyes when I got there. Just inside the door was the most beautiful wagon I had ever laid eyes on. Except for the tire treads, it was made entirely of wood. And not just ANY wood. All sorts of different types and stains of contrasting woods made up this masterpiece. And it had high rails along the sides. They were removable!

Somehow, the old man had managed to work on this gift for weeks without me ever knowing it. Probably burned a lot of midnight oil when I was long past asleep in my bed. I never felt so special.

Well, the months and years passed, and I guess I grew up. Going to see the old man became less and less of a priority in my life. The wagon I had treasured so dearly became just another toy discarded for the “cooler” trappings of approaching teen years. I’d stop in every so often, but my visits became less and less frequent, and they were seldom very long.

Then one day my mother got another phone call.

“No!” I ran to the little garage. I don’t know why. I knew he wouldn’t be there. It was shut and locked, and I don’t remember ever seeing it open again. I wanted, in the worst way, for that old man to come back. But of course he never would.

But, just like some of your dads and grandfathers did for you, he left something behind that became a part of me. Yeah, a love of woodworking, but more than that. I can’t help wanting to teach and help young people whenever they show an interest in something I’m capable of sharing with them.

I hope each of you had an old man in their lives, a “Father/Grandfather figure”. They’re a very unique and special breed of men, and the world is a sadder place at each of their passings.
 
J

joefizz

Guest
#19
Memory lane...
Actually truth is my life started out me being in preschool infatuated with a white blonde pony tailed girl named Chelsea I even tussled with a fat kid over her,but I eventually moved and saw her only once at home depot and didn't know if she was with anyone plus we were making bird houses separately so hardly a good time to ask if I could date her,so after that I gave up on her and wouldn't you know it most the friends I ended up with were "Girls" like my best friend Loren brown hair,white,rather plain looking(got picked on for not talking much like me) I never even once considered her romantically until after many years and then it was too late,and before that I got wondering about many girls,like one girl that I was always silly with,Sarah,blonde hair kind of high strung and silly like me,I kind of considered but still more of a friend to talk to plus she was interested in "Band guys"only.
Then there was Valorie,white,short with brown hair who challenged my wits and liked weird stuff like wearing norse mythology clothes,which was kind of attractive because there's nothing quite like being "proved wrong" by a girl that's a friend or otherwise it's really quite awesome,(not sure if I'm going in correct order here)
the two at the end of my entire school years were two girls who at first I didn't know were sisters,first,Taylor,white,black hair,large(I really like black hair)who I thought might like me because she just came over and sat with me at lunch and started talking to me and started wondering if she might be who I might like though I wasn't sure since she was aside from being large a bit on the not so good looking side,but that didn't really matter she was more into talk to friends than me so I left things alone,but then I met(never actually talked to) Diamond,white,black hair,thin and pretty in a goth sort of way,her sister unbeknownst to me but though I glanced at her often and had a class with her never spoke one word to her because she was never alone except one time and her face was on the table in class(exhausted or upset)so I didn't wanna bug her,so I at first didn't pursue her anymore but then one time on a half day I saw her at the cafeteria and happened to have a piece of paper and pencil and wrote out if she would want a simple date and then handed her it quickly then walked out the door to library and realized I didn't write my name on the paper,and that was that,still after that I pined for her a little but when I found out she had a guy,I decided to stop looking for any one,though my head whirled every day on the question of "who would want me"?.
Probably didn't help either to watch and play through so many love stories that made me wonder more,but now I try to just not think on it in my daily life.(plus am more crazy over one special individual more than all the other past possible love interests combined because I am tired of searching and would rather decide on an individual now instead of driving myself insane with a bunch of woulda coulda,shouldas,whether she likes me or not it has helped to keep me moving forward for God by getting my head out of the gutter and wanting an actual future whether real or not)
 

Angela_s

Senior Member
Nov 21, 2017
417
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#20
Memory lane...
Actually truth is my life started out me being in preschool infatuated with a white blonde pony tailed girl named Chelsea I even tussled with a fat kid over her,but I eventually moved and saw her only once at home depot and didn't know if she was with anyone plus we were making bird houses separately so hardly a good time to ask if I could date her,so after that I gave up on her and wouldn't you know it most the friends I ended up with were "Girls" like my best friend Loren brown hair,white,rather plain looking(got picked on for not talking much like me) I never even once considered her romantically until after many years and then it was too late,and before that I got wondering about many girls,like one girl that I was always silly with,Sarah,blonde hair kind of high strung and silly like me,I kind of considered but still more of a friend to talk to plus she was interested in "Band guys"only.
Then there was Valorie,white,short with brown hair who challenged my wits and liked weird stuff like wearing norse mythology clothes,which was kind of attractive because there's nothing quite like being "proved wrong" by a girl that's a friend or otherwise it's really quite awesome,(not sure if I'm going in correct order here)
the two at the end of my entire school years were two girls who at first I didn't know were sisters,first,Taylor,white,black hair,large(I really like black hair)who I thought might like me because she just came over and sat with me at lunch and started talking to me and started wondering if she might be who I might like though I wasn't sure since she was aside from being large a bit on the not so good looking side,but that didn't really matter she was more into talk to friends than me so I left things alone,but then I met(never actually talked to) Diamond,white,black hair,thin and pretty in a goth sort of way,her sister unbeknownst to me but though I glanced at her often and had a class with her never spoke one word to her because she was never alone except one time and her face was on the table in class(exhausted or upset)so I didn't wanna bug her,so I at first didn't pursue her anymore but then one time on a half day I saw her at the cafeteria and happened to have a piece of paper and pencil and wrote out if she would want a simple date and then handed her it quickly then walked out the door to library and realized I didn't write my name on the paper,and that was that,still after that I pined for her a little but when I found out she had a guy,I decided to stop looking for any one,though my head whirled every day on the question of "who would want me"?.
Probably didn't help either to watch and play through so many love stories that made me wonder more,but now I try to just not think on it in my daily life.(plus am more crazy over one special individual more than all the other past possible love interests combined because I am tired of searching and would rather decide on an individual now instead of driving myself insane with a bunch of woulda coulda,shouldas,whether she likes me or not it has helped to keep me moving forward for God by getting my head out of the gutter and wanting an actual future whether real or not)
You're not alone ! I, instead, never found and i'm still trying to find my type of guy. But they are all similar, close minded and rude atheists...