Just noticed something about myself...

[Smudge]

I just realized how long it's been since I've been full heartedly attracted to a guy. I was thinking about it because my, basically, only friend in the world was telling me the beginning of a possible romance between her and this new guy she met.*

My last infatuation would be during my first semester in college. Which was the fall of 2010. It sort of crashed during winter break so though I was still having "relapses" of believing we could become an item- it really did end in the first semester. It's kind of depressing... I mean, it's been two years since I got to call my girl friends and talk about how I almost talked to so and so. xD

I'm sure that's not such a large gap... but it's weird to think that in two years of meeting lots and lots of people, I haven't thought endlessly about a single one of them. No wonder I caught myself becoming a cynic.~~Then I realized that every single cynic is a completely, utterly hopeless romantic at heart- who's doubting love's existence and feeling very alone in the world.~~

Not really asking for advice- you can give some if you have some to offer- just kind of realizing how much time it's been.... I know that my friends can bounce between guys in a matter of months. Even juggle multiple romantic interests. I guess at my age, two years is a bit of a gap. But then again- if I haven't met anyone I'm not interested in, I haven't met anyone I'm interested in.

If you're going to post a comment, because I know you are, please include the last time you were head over heels for someone. Whether it was a crush on someone you didn't know or a full on relationship. I'm just curious and like to hear these stories. >:3
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*(Actually it's a super cute story. Apparently they're taking the same math class. She caught him looking at her and so he smiled. She smiled back and they sat there smiling at each other for twenty seconds((which can seem like an entirety)) and then he came over and sat next to her.)

 

[Ritter]

Oh how I can relate, my friend.

A year ago this week I was rejected by a girl. I have never felt this way about someone before or since.

We were both in Student Government together. Both similar in so many ways, so I took the chance and asked her out. The first date was so beautiful. I could talk with her forever. Still could.

We just had so many similar interests and similar opinions. That said, she was a thinker. Highly intelligent. Wise. Morally graceful. Every time she opened her mouth, her sweet voice and wise words would lock onto and hold me like a tractor beam.

Sadly, it only lasted one date. I was devastated. I fasted for a weekend, spent hours alone. Months I stood on the edge of a knife trying not to come across as desperate.

Oh and I could write. She was my muse. Never was I able to write so much fiction in such quality, even stories completely unrelated to her would flow out of my pen effortlessly. Everything seemed so complete, even as I admired her from afar.

A relationship came, she receded in my head. I hoped never to think of her again. Now that my last relationship ended with an immature girl tossing my heart in liquid nitrogen and smashing it with a hammer, I psychotically and ironically yearn for the wise one who friend-zoned me months ago.

If I had the chance to go for her again, I would. I desperately hope to find somebody like her someday.

There you go, smudge, that's my story. I too am the cynical romantic. The Don Quixote who recognizes windmills for what they are and contemplates charging them with torch in hand.

I want to see giants again...

 

[Nautilus]

I gave up on being whole heartedly attracted....probably cynicism, but im trying to work on it. I now am just unable to find anyone im terribly attracted too. Its probably me being too picky because i want that instant connection/chemistry and if i dont feel it then im like done. The last time i was head over heels i was engaged but that ended up rather badly. I go on dates a lot I just dont feel like wasting time or money when i dont think there is anything there, so it rarely goes past one or two dates

 

[owned-by-GOD]

i have no stories to tell.. ^^ my last crush was the son of the pastor of the church that i am temporarily attending.. but it faded now.. i am praying for someone who can maturely understand my immaturity and someone who is wiser than i am.. quite of a standard.. but whoever he might be, as long as He is a follower of Christ, everything will just follow..

 

[Jullianna]

When I stop crying over Ritter's post, maybe I can say more...

 

[Searching4Truth]

Oh how I can relate, my friend.

A year ago this week I was rejected by a girl. I have never felt this way about someone before or since.

We were both in Student Government together. Both similar in so many ways, so I took the chance and asked her out. The first date was so beautiful. I could talk with her forever. Still could.

We just had so many similar interests and similar opinions. That said, she was a thinker. Highly intelligent. Wise. Morally graceful. Every time she opened her mouth, her sweet voice and wise words would lock onto and hold me like a tractor beam.

Sadly, it only lasted one date. I was devastated. I fasted for a weekend, spent hours alone. Months I stood on the edge of a knife trying not to come across as desperate.

Oh and I could write. She was my muse. Never was I able to write so much fiction in such quality, even stories completely unrelated to her would flow out of my pen effortlessly. Everything seemed so complete, even as I admired her from afar.

A relationship came, she receded in my head. I hoped never to think of her again. Now that my last relationship ended with an immature girl tossing my heart in liquid nitrogen and smashing it with a hammer, I psychotically and ironically yearn for the wise one who friend-zoned me months ago.

If I had the chance to go for her again, I would. I desperately hope to find somebody like her someday.

There you go, smudge, that's my story. I too am the cynical romantic. The Don Quixote who recognizes windmills for what they are and contemplates charging them with torch in hand.

I want to see giants again...

And this... My manly urges want me to ignore this and classify it as sarcasm. And yet...

When I stop crying over Ritter's post, maybe I can say more...

I hope that these tears are out of laughter.

 

[chip]

For me, we had known each other for most of our lives, similar almost everythings. We were only friends up until last year, we sort of grew into a very comfortable relationship across last year. This year, I could see a future with her so plainly that it was like, "this is gong to happen". And yet..... Yeah, she took a walk three months ago and caused an unholy uproar in the church I am still wincing from.

I learned a great deal through this, whom my real friends were, how what I thought was a godly church could support her in her actions. How being innocent turned out to be unprovable in the court of public opinion. How even in my pain, I could see how God was protecting me from a side of her no one had even guessed existed. (and I have dedicated hundreds of hours of thought, study and prayer to that last point!)

What is worse for me is that I trusted her, and I do not trust easily. Then to remember the moments of joy we shared, suddenly understanding the meaning of love, not actually understanding the "why" of what happened though. If there had only been one thing I had done incorrectly, or said, or ......?

I still pray for her to return to what she knew was true (God, not me!) and wish for her His protection in finding Him again. But, her choices came at such a high price for all of my friends..... In a small valley, it is mighty hard not be reminded of her.

 

[dliz]

I think the last time I have gone head over heels with someone was like highschool. LOL! @_@ I know there must be something wrong with me. I was more focused with my studies than daydreaming about boys.And i have this mentality before that if a guy shows interest on me, I would try to avoid him. Now that i am more mature, I have learned to be in friendly terms with those people who shows interest me.

 

[Smudge]

;3; My men on CC have been betrayed.... *offers hugs to Ritter and Chip*

 

[chip]

smudge, thank you.
those few sentences must have taken me half an hour to compose because with them came a great deal of realization or healing i guess.

the long ride towards home today sort of showed me that it is time to get over myself/her/everything, move on (physically) and say my good byes to Colorado. so, i am going to pack up my toothbrush, see if the car will start after sitting for a month, head my nose west and see where the car breaks down. hasta la vista RGV (Rio Grande Valley for you foreigners).....

see you all from what ever Starbucks I happen to be in!

 

[GreenNnice]

Oh how I can relate, my friend.

A year ago this week I was rejected by a girl. I have never felt this way about someone before or since.

We were both in Student Government together. Both similar in so many ways, so I took the chance and asked her out. The first date was so beautiful. I could talk with her forever. Still could.

We just had so many similar interests and similar opinions. That said, she was a thinker. Highly intelligent. Wise. Morally graceful. Every time she opened her mouth, her sweet voice and wise words would lock onto and hold me like a tractor beam.

Sadly, it only lasted one date. I was devastated. I fasted for a weekend, spent hours alone. Months I stood on the edge of a knife trying not to come across as desperate.

Oh and I could write. She was my muse. Never was I able to write so much fiction in such quality, even stories completely unrelated to her would flow out of my pen effortlessly. Everything seemed so complete, even as I admired her from afar.

A relationship came, she receded in my head. I hoped never to think of her again. Now that my last relationship ended with an immature girl tossing my heart in liquid nitrogen and smashing it with a hammer, I psychotically and ironically yearn for the wise one who friend-zoned me months ago.

If I had the chance to go for her again, I would. I desperately hope to find somebody like her someday.

There you go, smudge, that's my story. I too am the cynical romantic. The Don Quixote who recognizes windmills for what they are and contemplates charging them with torch in hand.

I want to see giants again...

* Green reads the first five paragraphs and responds....


Ritt, you seem to be writing with an edge of peculiarity that bords on spectacular vernacular, with the cutting going deep to the soul of one who reads, your words don't jump, they jet off the page, with a fervor of belief carried of each morsel forth and OH, WAIT, ritt, brb....

*Green comes back and reads now starting with the 6th paragraph and after reading it, stops:

"Ritt, you're not seeing anyone now are you

 

[Ritter]

For those who may have taken my post as sarcasm or some sort of attention grab, I assure you it is neither.

Perhaps I have approached this thread with too much candor.

 

[GreenNnice]

For those who may have taken my post as sarcasm or some sort of attention grab, I assure you it is neither.

Perhaps I have approached this thread with too much candor.

Sorry, ritt, my green brains, sigh, get me in trouble once more, oh bother

 

[Ritter]

Oh no problem, Green or SearchingforTruth. I realize that when it comes to sarcasm, I am the little boy who cried wolf.

 

[GraceReborn]

For those who may have taken my post as sarcasm or some sort of attention grab, I assure you it is neither.

Perhaps I have approached this thread with too much candor.

I think you approached the thread with such a genuine heart..


It has been almost 2 years since my last full relationship.

I recently gave up on my long time crushes, Chris Hemsworth and Jason Statham.


A man close to my heart but lives in a far far away land will spend Christmas with me come this December.
I am yet to find out if he can pass through the dragons and lions guarding the doors to my heart though.

 

[Smudge]

Don't worry- Ritter--- I didn't think you were sarcastic or trying to get attention. I would suspect if you weren't so durned genuine. I was more then happy to get real honest responses from you guys. Being silly is good, but we also need to investigate our hearts.

And Chip-- are you seriously packing up your bags and heading out?! <-- has lived in one city her whole life and in one house for over a decade. Has trouble imagining this...

 

[kayem77]

Last time I had a big crush or attraction towards somebody was probably one year ago. I only knew him for 1 week when were already talking like old close friends. He knew that I loved reading so he sent me a book with a note with my sister-in law . We would have internet "dates" and we would talk till 3-4 in the morning. I only saw him once but I was completely head over heels about this guy .
It was fast...and it didn't last. This all happened in a period of one month. It could have lasted more and we could've been more than friends, but there was a major problem that I couldn't fix - he is not Christian. I don't regret that decision, but that doesn't change the fact that I had a hard time letting go.

 

[GreenNnice]

Oh how I can relate, my friend.

A year ago this week I was rejected by a girl. I have never felt this way about someone before or since.

We were both in Student Government together. Both similar in so many ways, so I took the chance and asked her out. The first date was so beautiful. I could talk with her forever. Still could.

We just had so many similar interests and similar opinions. That said, she was a thinker. Highly intelligent. Wise. Morally graceful. Every time she opened her mouth, her sweet voice and wise words would lock onto and hold me like a tractor beam.

Sadly, it only lasted one date. I was devastated. I fasted for a weekend, spent hours alone. Months I stood on the edge of a knife trying not to come across as desperate.

Oh and I could write. She was my muse. Never was I able to write so much fiction in such quality, even stories completely unrelated to her would flow out of my pen effortlessly. Everything seemed so complete, even as I admired her from afar.

A relationship came, she receded in my head. I hoped never to think of her again. Now that my last relationship ended with an immature girl tossing my heart in liquid nitrogen and smashing it with a hammer, I psychotically and ironically yearn for the wise one who friend-zoned me months ago.

If I had the chance to go for her again, I would. I desperately hope to find somebody like her someday.

There you go, smudge, that's my story. I too am the cynical romantic. The Don Quixote who recognizes windmills for what they are and contemplates charging them with torch in hand.

I want to see giants again...

I just was trying to help you feel better, you stick your tongue out at me occassionally so this was opportunity I saw to stick it back But, I am truly sorry, I know when one opens their heart, it hurts to hear someone who takes it lightly.

, I know your heart hurts after this, mine did too when I liked a girl in college, I've told this story a zillion times so I guess I won't say it here, but, yeah, I liked this girl, a lot, from the moment I met her my freshman year, we were an item before school began and I was one of the first that had that kind of relationship of just friendship that was well, I think I was just too immature then my freshman year so....

just never worked out right, it's funny though, I must admit, how God gets us through, and, keeping our trust in Him, and, talking to Him about things, we get through the tough things of our lives. And, I don't say this half-heartedly, getting over a girl is one of the toughest.

I wish you well in finding another girl and finding the muse in you, again, I personally do not want to rely on a girl for my muse but I know EXACTLY what you mean .

Blessings, Christbro

 

[Jullianna]

Ritter, your words were beautiful. Period.


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As for me,
- The one I trust (a rare thing indeed) is wiser than I, and far more cautious
- The one I dream of flows with the tide
- The one who seems to fit never seems to be close enough to
- The one who dares has not yet reached the deeper waters

So, for now, the door to the cage that holds my heart is closed, but not locked..

 

[flight316]

It's funny that this subject came up. Just today I ran into someone that I used to date I was crazy about this woman since we stopped seeing each other, I rarely run into her at work. I work for a company that employs thousands of people. Ususally when I would run into her it be like magic between us still. But today when I saw her there was no magic, no feelings, she felt like a stranger to me. Its weird too some of the other women. That I havee hooked up with in the past also seem like strangers to me. Its weird, its like I've never been intimate with them but I have. I don't know, there's a lot going on with me. Sometimes ifeel like my body is moving and i'm conducting my daily affairs but I'm not in it. Isn't that strange. I don't think that there is anyone I'm particularly interested in. I'm just taking everything day by day at this point. For some odd reason I believe there's something to all of this that will be revealed to me later.