Just noticed something about myself...

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I've told this story a zillion times so I guess I won't say it here,

But I'll never get the story this way D:

Kayem- Kudos for realizing that sort of relationship is bad news. A friend of mine always goes for the non-Christian as sort of a "project." She doesn't think that anyone will love her unless they *need* her. I also heard from a friend of church that their friend married a Muslim and while they made it work at first, now their children are leaning toward the Muslim faith and her family is falling like sand through her fingers.
It CAN work SOMETIMES to bring someone to Christ and marry them... but like my youth pastor told us. It's like standing on a chair and trying to pull someone up. You're more likely to fall.

Jules(If you don't mind, this is how I "think" your name when I think of you)-- I think you're an angel. My goodness girl, you write such lovely things.

Flight- I think I'm in your shoes right now- at least one shoe in, one shoe out. There isn't anyone who strikes my fancy. No one makes my heart flutter. I haven't been intimate with anyone yet- but I've ran into people I've considered to be sisters but now I just feel... is disconnected the right word? It's like I'm beyond them, I still like them but I'm perfectly content with not seeing much of them.
 
Oh no problem, Green or SearchingforTruth. I realize that when it comes to sarcasm, I am the little boy who cried wolf.

Ahh. Now, I know.

To love is to be vulnerable. Needless to say I've been in this situation a few times before. It hurts. It really does. I've recently been telling myself periodically not to get infatuated with a certain someone. May as well "friend zone" myself before it even happens.

12 For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it.

I believe this will be me.
 
GreenNnice said:
I've told this story a zillion times so I guess I won't say it here.
But I'll never get the story this way D:

Kayem- Kudos for realizing that sort of relationship is bad news. A friend of mine always goes for the non-Christian as sort of a "project." She doesn't think that anyone will love her unless they *need* her. I also heard from a friend of church that their friend married a Muslim and while they made it work at first, now their children are leaning toward the Muslim faith and her family is falling like sand through her fingers.
It CAN work SOMETIMES to bring someone to Christ and marry them... but like my youth pastor told us. It's like standing on a chair and trying to pull someone up. You're more likely to fall.

Jules(If you don't mind, this is how I "think" your name when I think of you)-- I think you're an angel. My goodness girl, you write such lovely things.

Flight- I think I'm in your shoes right now- at least one shoe in, one shoe out. There isn't anyone who strikes my fancy. No one makes my heart flutter. I haven't been intimate with anyone yet- but I've ran into people I've considered to be sisters but now I just feel... is disconnected the right word? It's like I'm beyond them, I still like them but I'm perfectly content with not seeing much of them.
No probleme, smudgeartiste, I have no problem telling it for the zillion and oneth time :D

Went to school way back when in 1986 and was only a freshman, learning life away from home, weeee, was attending a 4 year school 4 hours from home, and, don't you dare see me saying you should quit yer c.c., nope, I think , these days especially, getting a solid A.A. and transferring is the way to go, o-lee, now where was I beFORE I golfed unrelated thought into the paragraph? Ah, yes, I was a frosh and went to my morning calculus class at 8 am and there was this girl in my class that brought 'skyrockets in sight, a-a-afternoon delight' song . So, we had that class together and then from 9 to 11 we had another class together. Psyche! We had fun in it too, 2 hours of listening and taking notes, sometimes we sat by each other in this 2 day per week class (calculus was every morn) , sometimes not. No matter, after psyche 101 we always, her and I, then walked to the lunchroom together and we ate lunch together, sometimes by selves, sometimes with others, it was big lunch hall , ya know. So, we did this 'routine' of classes and lunch , eating together psyche class days, for the first month of school, walking and talking, talking and walking, sigh, if I wasn't't in love,cwhat was I?? The 1st week of October I asked her to go back to my place and watch my soccer team play of my high school I was star on 4 years and wanted to date her that way.

She said, 'I don't think that would be such a great idea.'

I said, well, hmm, I can't remember what I said, anyway, that was beginning of our lunch days becoming less and less, especially when in mid-Oct. that she was going to Homecoming dance with my roommate!! I was livid and upset and highly sad all at the same time. But, me, well, I could have asked her, too. Just cuz she didn't want to go on a 4 hour car ride with me she still maybe would've gone to dance with me. Maybe. As the story goes, just maybe you will see why the 'soccer game' ask made things a maybe not.

So, this girl then went to dance with my roommmate and Nov. we didn't eat together lunches at all, she and I from then until after Christmas break did not corresond other than my 'Hey, Renae,' when I saw her, and, no,that's not her real name, but it is close, and, I ryhmed 'hey' with her name's suffix.


So, Jan term is one month where you take one class, which you mighta know smudgeless, because you said you went to a 4 yr. Anyhoo, I will.just say this I was in a dorm that was boys one half, girls the other, and, whoever thought of putting hormonal froshs of both gender in dorm like that was not thinking. I thank God He protected me , that year, and, all years later, in other dorms, like the known party animal's dorm my soph year, but, as I was
saying, I was just going out for a walk in the afternoon out the main doors of our dorm and who would be there but my girl, my girl, oh, ok, not my girl, my wished-for girl was going running.. I thought, 'hey, I'm an athlete, I can do this,' go riñe for a couple miles with her, rekindle what for last 2 months was dying embers.

So, we went running, as we ran, we talked about my parents bitter divorce a year earlier, our fun eating together, etc. etc., and, we just kept running way past 2 miles too...


So, yes, ritt, when you said this girl you liked and hit it off with for one glorious date and time therein your Muse zinged and zanged in prosaic writing, well, yes, I was so-so-sooo into this girl that I found out 45 minutes into running with her she said we had gone about 10 miles!

Let me tell you, I never had run farther than 5 miles my entire life but here I was, by the grace of God, surely, running fast with Renae and end was training for a marathon I founded out too. We taller and taller for 3 miles mire, running, and, then, we stopped. We ran 13 miles in just over an hour, and, I was EXACTLY feeling as when I began running, NOT TIRED AT ALL. I was not even breathing hard and I just ran up and down hilos , all over town, in 6 minute mile pace! I should've NOT been able to have done that run.

Girls. And, that was where I knew I was in love with this girl. So, I am not sure what I did from there, I should have asked her out, I know, but, sigh, I didn't. :(

And, April , late April , right before school got out and she I saw was with a boy, a sophomore, she I could tell really liked this guy. I just was about to go for summer break and so left , worked, came back in fall, and, she and this guy must have had great summer cuz they were together all, fall, winter, and, I just wrote her off. Then in march I noticed a ting on her right hand, engaged. I really wrote her off then .
However, my roommate my soph. year knew I liked her my frosh year and whatever , but, he told her in April, 'Ed still talks about you.' NOW, why he said that just floored me but he said it, even though I had effectively quit talking about her pretty much my soph year.

Anyway, this rooommate of mine's remarks had an effect. She was a week or two later without the ring. She'd broke up with the guy. Ok, I should shorten this, so, I just wasn't the same feeling toward her anymore.

Junior year , I did my thing and she hers, we didn't have classes at all together so, then I think it was a Saturday night school dance , ones I went to all the time. She was there, I danced with all the young ladies , including one slow dance, with Renae. Song was called, fittingly, 'Is Your Love Strong Enough,' and, it was a slow dance song, liltingly, hypnotically, powerful. She breathed on my neck and we danced, but I was not feeling like her and all it was was one dance.

So, senior year, and, again, she and I no same classes, but I ate at cafeteria one time in April, a few weeks before graduation and she and I talked. It was just like old times :) But, only for her, not for me :( , we we ate and she said several things, biggest was, and, guys when a girl says this to you SHE REALLY LIKES YOU, 'You're different, Ed,' she said, completely locked on my eyes as she said it. And, I said, 'I don't know' And, she said, 'No, you have changed, older, mature.'
I just let things go that lunch, that last ever lunch together with Renae, seeing her then the next time at graduation.
I saw her and she saw me in the hallway and I said, 'I guess this is it. We're graduates now.'
And, next thing I know she is breaking out into uncontrollable tears and runs away from me in hallway.

I hope and pray this story is OK to tell a zillion and oneth time, I really liked that girl but God did something to make it not be right, and, deep down, I knew it wasn't right my senior year. I was deep in debt and with no job and needed to establish myself and she lived near school and I was four hours away.
I hope, Christ peeps, you have understanding of God in your life , and, ask God to be with you, keep you, find you His perfect for you.

I am still waiting on Him ,came, in meantime, just trying to perfectly grow my faith in Him through obedience to His Word and His leading in my life . It's been up and down all since college, but it's been all good with Him, who has never left nor forsaken me all my life, through my good things done, and, bad, He's always been there. And, good news, He will, I you want Him to, always be there for you, too. :)
 
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Wow, Greenie... That's one heck of a story. You have my personal permission to keep telling it.

I know how quick I can be, trying to stop liking a guy because I think it won't work out...


You're making me think about things again. xD
 
Chasing the Dragon (Liamson style)

It starts when you have your first LOVE, the world is peaceful, everything is perfect, you're numb, but in the best way possible. But, soon, it starts wearing off. Fast. Your mind races, you're pulled out of your dream world. You crave love more and more, wanting to feel the same way as you did on your first love. You go to the church and date the same kind of girl you did the first time. Still feels good, but not as good as the first time. You go and date more. Closer, but not quite there. You're stuck, you don't know what to do. You want to go back to that little dream world and stay forever, but your soul is already developing a tolerance. You panic. You use all your money to date more and more and more, but still, not the same as that first time. You realize that you have no more money, so you start selling your things, pawning whatever could get you that next hope of love. Still, nothing compared to what you had on that first, magical time. So, you're broke and own nothing. But you don't care, all you care about is getting back to love. You start stealing, doing "favors", whatever gets you a date for the attempt. Your life becomes a living hell, all in search of a repeat of the first love. That's chasing the dragon.


The rules have changed too much since I was 20.

No one invades anyone's life anymore. Its all just a game now with smoke signals, illusions, distractions, jealousies, lists, schedules and rules. Love has become like the IRS, we fill out our forms, hope to get accepted and that we can pretend to enjoy it long enough for it to become permanent. THEN after all of that, there is perhaps a glimmer of a possibility of love. Love used to be serious business. Move mountains, shake foundations, run forever: Love made such amazing promises. Now it is a check in the box and something to be accomplished before marriage. The silly things a man must do to signal his intentions without making a woman feel uncomfortable are utterly preposterous. I honestly blame facebook for most of this.

When is the last time any of you confessed your love for someone, or had someone confess their love to you?

When was the last time that Every beautiful song on the radio reminded you of how much you loved Everything about someone?

Do you remember it being a choice? or was it simply beyond your control?

Do you remember the sparks? the Electricity?
 
When is the last time any of you confessed your love for someone, or had someone confess their love to you?

It has probably been about a year and a half for me. I haven't felt that way about many people, but I mean it when I say it.

When was the last time that Every beautiful song on the radio reminded you of how much you loved Everything about someone?

Last night actually. I don't stop caring about someone just because I'm not with them anymore or things didn't work out. The great parts of them that made me feel as I did about them were real, so the feelings remain real as well.

Do you remember it being a choice? or was it simply beyond your control?

Falling in love with someone has never been a choice for me. I can convince myself that a relationship isn't good for me and let it go, but I can't just decide to stop loving them. And whatever it was that made me fall for them in the first place is unexplainable to me at times, but it doesn't go away.


Do you remember the sparks? the Electricity?

Absolutely...and it makes me smile because I remember how it felt, that it has happened more than once, and it will likely happen again.
 
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Wow, Greenie... That's one heck of a story. You have my personal permission to keep telling it.

I know how quick I can be, trying to stop liking a guy because I think it won't work out...


You're making me think about things again. xD

Yes, Godslittlesmudge, I was so liking that girl starting out college and I dwell only on the blessed time I had with that girl, and, the ways God showed me, through a girl, I could run so it was truly a 'miracle' . :)

I would have went and found her after she cried s graduation, running off, but I was just pretty sure nothing I would have done would have been good. Idk, He leads me, led me there, I hope and pray. :)

Keep growing in the Lord, cursmudgeon, and wait on Him, God will at His appointed time in your life SHOW you a great guy . Read Passion & Purity by Elizabeth Elliot, and, remember that only Satan reminds us of our past bad, God does want us to confess sin but then as 1 John 1:9 says, 'He is faithful and just to forgive us,', and, moreso, He throws our sins into the 'sea of forgetfulness.'

So, there ya go, blessings to you, milady. The Lord leads...Worry not about other friends getting married, having beaus. 'You follow Me,' is what Jesus told Peter when peter was upset others were able to follow Jesus on the Emmaus road after Jesus had died and rose again.

John 21:20-22 will explain this more clearly :)

....ollow Him :)
 
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When is the last time any of you confessed your love for someone, or had someone confess their love to you?

Come to think of it, I've never had such a cataclysmic moment.

When was the last time that Every beautiful song on the radio reminded you of how much you loved Everything about someone?

Today.

Do you remember it being a choice? or was it simply beyond your control?

I thought everything had lined up and was delighted to see it happen. It was too large to be considered a mere choice of mine.


Do you remember the sparks? the Electricity?

All I remember is wonderful flame burning inside of me.
 
Smudge, Thank you for starting this thread. I don’t feel so alone now. :)

It’s great to learn that not everyone thinks all of the people they have cared for deeply before were losers. Some of us choose to remember the best of people who once meant so much to us and take a moment from time to time to ponder the treasure being in love can be whether anything comes of it or not.

I can’t tell you how many times in recent years I’ve had guys express a great deal of interest and then tell me that they would like to date me …BUT (doncha love the “but”…):

1. I obviously still have feelings for someone else (even though that clearly never worked out); or
2. “I just don’t know if I can be the man you deserve” (or the guy THEY think I should be with).

*sigh* Where did I put my Barnes & Noble gift card…
 
Smudge, Thank you for starting this thread. I don’t feel so alone now. :)

It’s great to learn that not everyone thinks all of the people they have cared for deeply before were losers. Some of us choose to remember the best of people who once meant so much to us and take a moment from time to time to ponder the treasure being in love can be whether anything comes of it or not.



I can’t tell you how many times in recent years I’ve had guys express a great deal of interest and then tell me that they would like to date me …BUT (doncha love the “but”…):

1. I obviously still have feelings for someone else (even though that clearly never worked out); or
2. “I just don’t know if I can be the man you deserve” (or the guy THEY think I should be with).

I've never been one to hold a grudge no matter how badly a relationship ended, and once the initial hurt is resolved and forgiven what is left is the good memories and the lessons learned. Honestly I think that if all someone has is bad memories it causes concern. Every old flame has added to who I am in one way or another and there will always be the little part of me that holds those good times as dear and special no matter how badly the relationship ended.

Ah, yes, the wonderful "buts" I think we've all heard them from time to time. Sometimes they're rational and reasonable, but sometimes you can't help but sit there with a confused look and wonder what they're not saying. I know that due to past experiences the perception that someone has unresolved issues from past relationships can be something that causes me to back away and regroup (not necessarily permanently), like I said in another thread all of us end up reacting differently because of perceptions based on prior experiences and I've had a couple of bad experiences in this area. As for the other, I've heard the "I can't be the woman you deserve" and thought to myself that someone must have either pretty poor self image to go down that line of thought, or a bad imagination when it comes to making up excuses to back out of a relationship.

*sigh* Where did I put my Barnes & Noble gift card…

I think it's on your desk buried under the cat lady kit order form. ;)

 
When is the last time any of you confessed your love for someone, or had someone confess their love to you?

I've never talked to either of the men I liked about how I liked them- and no one has confessed anything to me. xD

When was the last time that Every beautiful song on the radio reminded you of how much you loved Everything about someone?

You know, I think that because I have never gotten past the initial realization that I like the guy, I haven't allowed myself to associate any romantic media with him. I guess I always felt like that would bring me into the definitely obsessed area. But I do remember their names popping up *everywhere.*

Do you remember it being a choice? or was it simply beyond your control?

The first guy, yeah I think it was more of a choice, or a series of choices that lead to one day me realizing that I did like him. He had so many green flags. The second one, I think it was beyond my control. The first time I saw him I thought he looked like a trouble-maker. I kind of ignored him. Then he looked at me in that way enamored guys do, and then the rest was history. (Here's a tip I learned, just because you made a good first impression and got him to goggle at you, doesn't mean he's interested in pursuing you. If he wants to be around you, he'll be around you.)


Do you remember the sparks? the Electricity?

At first I thought I didn't, but I realized that they still exist... to this day. I was talking with my brother and he didn't seem to believe that I had told him anything about my infatuation at college, so I pulled up a picture of him and the very second it loaded my heart skipped a beat. It really caught me by surprise. I thought I killed that crush! D: