From a post by miri:
~~~~As for me I know with all my being that the God of the bible, who created the heavens and the earth and who gave Himself through God the son to die on a cross for me, does exist.I have experienced His love first hand in a supernatural way, I have had many prayers supernaturally answered which could not in any way be attributed to coincidence.I have received physical healing. He speaks to me in dreams, there has been many times He has urged me to do something and without knowing why I have obeyed and seen amazing things happen which in no way could be considered a coincidence. There have been been far too many incidents to even try to explain it all here to you.But have a read through the testimony forum, read through other people's experiences on here.~~~~
Dear Miri,
That is really wonderful for you, im being honest, thats really a wonderful thing, all those different encounters and verifications, God really loves you and He obviously does these things to prove that.
But can you understand theres some of us, or maybe its just me, idk, but
havent had those things happen.
Ive asked sincerely many times, prayed the sinners prayer a thousand times, been on my face in tears, begging forgiveness over the lifestyle and wasted life i lived......i did alot of drugs in my younger days, drank alot, only quit smoking cigarettes a year ago, bounced from job to job, no education, and now due to health, i cant work and probably never will again because i have no education,
so my life is now being forced to just watch the clock/calendar go by.
Im guessing you're probably a pretty good person, sure, made mistakes, but probably were more of a victim and God rescued you from people mistreating you or just lousy circumstances, so i see why God would love you and reveal Himself in all these wonderful ways to you.
I wish i could make the same claims.
Sometimes after being on my knees or face in tears, i realized i just have to get up and do something else, just feeling empty but glad God didn't strike me dead at least, that's what i deserve.
Maybe i didnt wait long enough, or i just arent serious enough, idk, i THINK
i am, but maybe somethings blocking me, or maybe i havent really done the sackcloth and ashes.....not that i would expect 99% of people to have to do that, most are pretty decent people, but maybe God is wanting me to at least be WILLING to do whatever it takes to try to repent of sin, be genuinely sorry, and wait long enough for Him to say ok, idk. I dont know why He has these encounters with some but not all. I just dont know what, if anything, i can do, to get that.
Any dreams i have, i usually wake up in terror, im glad it doesnt happen near as much as when i was a little kid, but still does once in a while.
I dont get 'feelings' of being loved, i dont really know what thats like. I just have to try to believe it when i read it or if someone says it.
And hope that when He returns, or i die, He'll accept me that He paid for my sins, but like they said in bible study the other night, its ultimately God's call by choosing or election.
When i read the testimonies of others, im happy for them at first, but after a while i have to admit it gets a bit hard to stay upbeat, because i see all these wonderful personal encounters God is having with all these people, but then i think about those of us that feel left out, and then that gets confirmed when some christians treat us or others with an air of superiority, when all were trying to do is get through life without killing ourselves or hurting anyone, and again, its probably alot easier when you have God giving you all these personal experiences to encourage you to keep going.
I dont mean to sound jealous, but i guess if i had to be honest, yeah, theres a little bit of envy going on.
I read testimonies, and sometimes they sound a bit like a kid telling others about all the goodies their parents give them, but the kid their saying it to is trying to be happy for them, but there standing there just wishing inside that they could have a toy or a piece of candy, too.
Funny, but i just now got convicted of being like that, the first kid, sometimes when i was little, not really thinking how that might have hurt some of my friends that maybe didnt have as much as i did growing up.
One more evidence of me not being a very good person.
And i guess what goes around, like karma now im getting
paid back, though not nearly as badly as i deserve, so i guess i have no right to complain, really. Im just saying its harder to believe when you know you're not a very good person, and when you dont have those God encounters like everybody else does.
You know what, there has been many times in my life when I thought
God only listened to other people, when I have thought God was just up in the sky
waiting to zap me if I did something wrong. Times when I wondered why God seemed
silent.
Then with time I came to realise all of these assumptions, thoughts, feelings were
not from God! He does love us whether we believe it or not, He does speak to us but
we spend so much time thinking God does not speak that we don't hear. When minds
are full of negative thoughts the gentle whisper of God cannot get through.
You can keep telling yourself God doesn't care, doesn't love me, doesn't listen,
doesn't hear my prayers - which is all false. Or you can start believing what the
bible says and start affirming God's love for you etc. Once you actually start
believing even if it's through gritted teeth and open yourself up to the
possibilities that it's not the bible that is wrong, but that it's your wrong
thinking, then you will start to see things happening.
God can't speak to you at the moment as your side of the two way radio isn't
working properly

.
Try this for a month and tell me after that God doesn't speak.
1) Put aside all pre conceived notions out of your mind.
2) Set aside half an hour minimum every day to either read through a favourite
book of the bible or one of the gospels. Or follow a devotional word for the day
type of study.
3) Invite the Holy Spirit to help you understand what you are reading.
4) Write down what the reading teaches you about God the Father, God the son,
God the Holy Spirit and yourself.
5) Write down if there is an example to follow, a truth to be learnt, a promise to
cling to, etc.
6) Pray over what you have learnt and ask that the word will become a reality
in your life.
7) Bring prayer requests to God both big and small and don't forget to make a
note of the answers to prayer, or to thank God.
8) Look forward to these times and be enthuastic expecting to hear and learn.
Incidentally God speaks to each individual where they are at and in a way
which is most suitable for them. So for example, He will speak to creative
people in a creative way. Logical people in a logical way etc. God cares so
much about us that he treats each person as an individual, not just
one of the crowd. If you don't believe me then all you have to do is look
at how Jeses treated the various people He came across. He treated them
all as individuals.
Here is a Psalm you could start off with - read the whole Psalm.
Psalm 34:1-10 NKJV
[1] I will bless the LORD at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth.
[2] My soul shall make its boast in the LORD; The humble shall hear of it and be glad
[3] Oh, magnify the LORD with me, And let us exalt His name together.
[4] I sought the LORD, and He heard me, And delivered me from all my fears.
[5] They looked to Him and were radiant, And their faces were not ashamed.
[6] This poor man cried out, and the LORD heard him, And saved him out of
all his troubles.
[7] The angel of the LORD encamps all around those who fear Him, And delivers them.
[8] Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good; Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!
[9] Oh, fear the LORD, you His saints! There is no want to those who fear Him.
[10] The young lions lack and suffer hunger; But those who seek the LORD shall not
lack any good thing.