Letting God pick

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kenisyes

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Maybe this should go in Bible study, as it's a toss-up. But the real life experience in the responses might be of more encouragement.

In Matt. 19:8 Jesus tells us that marriage should be defined by Genesis. There we read that God brought Eve to Adam, and Adam agreed the problem had been solved. We read of several people who chose their own bride, like Isaac, Jacob, and David. One had his wife help cheat him out of which son inherited the blessing, one got conned out of 14 years work by the father, and one had to engineer the death of a husband. Not to mention the "shacking up" case of Samson and Delilah. I Cor. 7:36-39 lets people marry by their own selection, but hardly encourages it.

I have never known a divorce where the partners say God brought them together.

What say you? Is it possible? Is it practical? Can we learn anything from Scripture that will help us modify our courtship procedures?
 
I agree we should let God choose. However: The problem is knowing who God intends for you. I thought God had sent me someone who would become my husband, but he more or less disappeared. Now I assume he was definitely not meant for me, but the question is: How does one know this, in time?
 
kenisyes said:
I have never known a divorce where the partners say God brought them together.
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I have know many couples who claimed that God brought them together and many of those marriages have ended in divorce. Humans have a weird way of projecting their desires onto God's will.
 
Both you and WWJD Kilden bring up an interesting point. How do we know God's will for anything?
 
I think it is wise to follow God in everything - And always seek his will.

Yet to expect God to do things for everyone the way he did for you? Not too sure about that.

I think throughout the bible you see men marrying women in many different ways.

Abraham, Jacob, Ruth/Boaz.. they are the ones that come to mind but I am sure there are others.
 
Yeah that is a good point how do you know if that man or woman is the ONE GOD TRULY MEANT FOR YOU?
 
Well said, Oncefallen. It is very easy for some folks to convince themselves that certain things are God's will for their lives. If we have doubts/turmoil, if we have to convince ourselves that a relationship is right, it probably isn't.

I've done a lot of thinking about this. I know that my marriage to my late husband was a God thing. So, I have asked myself what was different about that relationship and the relationships that didn't work out. The answer for me is "peace". When I was with him from the very beginning, I was comfortable with him. I trusted him. I had God-given peace that he loved me with all of his heart and that we belonged together. That is how God let me know then. I believe it is how I will know again.

There can be outside influences that affect a relationship, but as long as there is loving peace between a man and woman, they and God can handle it.
 
Stuey said:
Ruth/Boaz
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Thank you. How could I have forgotten them? Ruth went to glean to see which man would be interested in her 2:2). Then they both played by all the rules, if I read it right. Is the advice there, live your life, but be available when God's time comes?
 
I agree with the concept, totally........I can't say I'm convinced on God having somebody specific in mind for each one of us though.

If I believed that, my entire perspective on everything would be waaaaay different. I would never ask anybody out at all no matter how interested I might be, I'd just have to sit back and wait. I can't say I've ever felt led by the Holy Spirit in that area, or convicted by the Holy Spirit in that area either. So I just assume I'm free to date as many people as I want as long as I keep my pants on......and if I decide to Marry, I always thought it was kosher to just take whoever I want as a wife.
 
Donkeyfish07 said:
I agree with the concept, totally........I can't say I'm convinced on God having somebody specific in mind for each one of us though.

If I believed that, my entire perspective on everything would be waaaaay different. I would never ask anybody out at all no matter how interested I might be, I'd just have to sit back and wait. I can't say I've ever felt led by the Holy Spirit in that area, or convicted by the Holy Spirit in that area either. So I just assume I'm free to date as many people as I want as long as I keep my pants on......and if I decide to Marry, I always thought it was kosher to just take whoever I want as a wife.
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Paul is clear that you are free to take whoever you wish. My OP says only that Scripture suggests that it is better if God selects the person. I think it's like your career or your place to live. All 3 affect your life very deeply, and if God has a plan, you should seek it out.
 
Often I've just seen people try and Pull a Saul and conjure some kind of a sign or use some superstition to pick for them.

Which thats not love. Thats just being arbitrary.


I believe that Love is its own Litmus test. Either its there and it works or it doesn't work. I'm not talking about a choice or a chemical reaction. I mean that when you meet someone, you know because to love them is the most natural thing in the world or its not.


If God says, "Go marry Loraine." then yes, I'll go marry Loraine. But if I don't hear that, I'm going to choose who I fall in love with. I'm not going to pretend that I heard God, simply because I have no idea who I'm going to marry and the suspense is killing me. (Its not)
 
I think it all depends on the perspective and the way one feels God's leading in their lives. Some may feel it in a very straightforward way, so they are very confident to say: "This was God's choosing". For others not so much so, still if they heart is in the right place, God can still work by what they feel to be their own choosing. God works in many different ways, but the essential thing is to have Him as a priority in life.
 
kenisyes said:
Both you and WWJD Kilden bring up an interesting point. How do we know God's will for anything?
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I think it is unfathomable, can't be explained in words other than to trust God at God's word. I think God wants us to marry God as shown in the allegory by Paul in Romans 7. The allegory of the married Woman and if her husband be dead then she is freed from Law to Marry another, which is Christ.
But I know you are talking on the physical level here. So ignore if want or see what is said in truth
 
letti said:
Yeah that is a good point how do you know if that man or woman is the ONE GOD TRULY MEANT FOR YOU?
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I know at least for me 30 years ago, before I met her, I knew and when she met me she knew, can't explain it, and this doe snot mean that it has been a bed of roses, reality here in life is reality. The sooner one faces truth as facing bad things the sooner one gets over them and moves on.
 
I believe the will of God is basically known by the word of God.

There are few directions given to us regarding marriage.

1-- In the old testament as well as new its conveyed that believer's should marry a believer ,

Do Not Be Yoked With Unbelievers (2 Cor. 6:14-18)
14
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what
fellowship can light have with darkness?
15
What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in
common with an unbeliever?
16
What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the
living God. As God has said: “I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.”
17
“Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord.
Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you.”
18
“I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.”


And I believe that God directs our paths if we lean on Him and commit every thing to him through prayers.

Proverb 3:5-6

5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Once I had visited a church and after some time I felt a guy showed interest . I kept the matter in prayers. I didn't give any positive response to him. His mom was very friendly with me and treated me as her daughter , I often felt strange because most of her conversations with me would be related to her son. I don't know after some time even the Pastor of the church seemed to pair us . On one Sunday worship the pastor asked me and him to pray the beginning prayers , every one and all the circumstances were in his favor and I started getting confused and even this led me to think that might be it is the will of God. I was very young and new to faith. But I continued my prayer's and one day God spoke very clearly to me that He didn't choose him for me.I declined and indirectly conveyed to that guy my disinterest. It shattered him and I had to face few angry people. But I know that when God says someone is not meant for us , its best to believe him even if its like going against the waves.



 
homwardbound said:
I think it is unfathomable, can't be explained in words other than to trust God at God's word. I think God wants us to marry God as shown in the allegory by Paul in Romans 7. The allegory of the married Woman and if her husband be dead then she is freed from Law to Marry another, which is Christ.
But I know you are talking on the physical level here. So ignore if want or see what is said in truth
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See, I knew there was a reason I put this in the single's forum and not the Bible forum. I'm speaking about the human husband or wife, not the allegorical eternal Bride thing.
 
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