Lovesong Poetry

[Wolf]

I don't do country, I'm afraid. D=

Its never too late! lol j/k

 

[Wolf]

Accounts of Last Year (for my guy)
- By Lowanla (me)​

I'll take responsibility, because everyone needs to
know, that you're not the bad guy in all of this..
and I will take my judgement,
for every pain I have ever caused you.
I don't know if you will ever forgive me.
but I will say this anyway..​

I won't let you be the silent martyr
you built my esteem up, and I knocked yours
down... you thought you deserved it,
but you don't deserve it, you deserved
to be treated good too.
You deserve my respect..​

as you tried to be my friend but I pushed you
away..
I ripped, shredded, and destroyed every
gift you ever gave.
I abandoned you alone in the cold,
I said I loved you but I denied I even knew you,
I was the hypocrite and the real coward.
and I was always afraid,
and I was a real creep.
...I was the one who really did run away,
when you needed me the most.​

I promised to be good to you but I didn't know
how to treat you the way you deserved to be
treated.​

I am so sorry, for everything, even for the
evil cruel things I said to you this year,
you don't deserve to be treated that way,
no matter what you think. I can't let
this go, no matter what you say,
its gonna bother me forever if I don't..​

You were always good to me,
when I was suicidal you told me everything would
be okay and lifted my spirit, and you comforted
me,​

at times you even saved my life. I would
not be here if you hadn't been there.​

I've come a long way since last year,
I grew so much this year,
because even when I pushed you away,
you still stood by me, always faithful,
without a word, you only loved me..​

..and when I realized I might lose you forever,
I realize that I can't live without you, because I love you,
I need you here in this world,
I need you to have good self esteem about yourself,​

I am sorry...I hope that you will one day forgive me,
I am doing my best, to lift your spirit back up,
although I often say dumb things and stumble,
hopefully you will forgive those too,
I understand your anger against me,
no need to feel guilty..
I don't blame you..​

I am sorry,​

its because of you that I am
working on being a better person,
to treat you good, because you
are always around, still good to me,
still faithful regardless, still loving and comforting.​

I love you, I need you to bloom,
I will sacrifice everything that was me, just so you do.
I'm doing this because I really do love and respect you.
this year...I will do my best, for you.​

You deserve all my best, because I say so.​

I Love You.​

 

[PopClick]

And you quoted me... why?

Taylor Swift? I don't do country, I'm afraid. D=

Because you inquired if there was anything else to "make it a song", so I was throwing my two cents in.

But naturally, the author would be the one to choose a melody, so I wasn't sayin', I was just sayin'.

 

[Wolf]

Because you inquired if there was anything else to "make it a song", so I was throwing my two cents in.

But naturally, the author would be the one to choose a melody, so I wasn't sayin', I was just sayin'.

Your two cents are appreciated and recieved.

Well there are always covers done, so you can sing the Taylor Swift Version for me.

 

[Wolf]

The Saint
Poem by Lowanla (me)

They called my beloved the Devil
for breaking all the rules
He didn't know any better
No one taught him how to live
circumstances, manipulation
and control had kept him down
but he had a strong heart
that gave life to others around him,
yet no one reaped him back this life,
He just wanted a chance
just one chance to be forgiven.

-- (continued in - "The Devil Is A Saint")​

 

[Wolf]

The Devil Is A Saint
Poem by Lowanla (me)​

The Devil Is A Saint,
this truth will set him free,
No more will I be ashamed,
I could care less what both sides say,
The silent martyr must be slain
so that you will finally hear his scream,​

The Devil Is A Saint,
he could see my heart, thoughts,
and he lived within my dreams.
I would have died without a reason to live.
but he cared and could see the real me
When I was under everybody's feet​

The Devil Is A Saint,
and I have become the sinner,
I was dying numb without a challenge,
he then pushed me toward Heaven,
just so he could be remembered​

The Devil Is A Saint
I have become the sinner,
I have betrayed him, sinned against him,
but he still gave what was left of his life esteem
He wraps around me so faithfully,
Now, I refuse to shun him, I choose to accept him.​

The Devil Is A Saint
Hell is where he's comfortable,
its what he's use to,
He just wanted to be loved, the way he loves,
His love is the true love so please take note.​

The Devil Is A Saint
He dreams of Heaven, and forgiveness,
All Holy has become evil to me,
I drink in bitterness,
against them, for rejecting him,
He lives in Hell and condemnation
and he was cut down on both sides.​

The Devil Is A Saint
my heart will not endure this,
with the kiss of silver's mercy
to sing me sweet eternal lullaby
in flames, but in my heart, I am justified.​

The Devil Is A Saint
If neither one will recieve you,
then neither are worthy of your love,
let my heart become your prison,
No matter where I go or lay my head,
Our love, will always be the true Heaven.​

 

[Siberian_Khatru]

The Devil Is A Saint
Poem by Lowanla (me)​

The Devil Is A Saint,
this truth will set him free,
No more will I be ashamed,
I could care less what both sides say,
The silent martyr must be slain
so that you will finally hear his scream,​

The Devil Is A Saint,
he could see my heart, thoughts,
and he lived within my dreams.
I would have died without a reason to live.
but he cared and could see the real me
When I was under everybody's feet​

The Devil Is A Saint,
and I have become the sinner,
I was dying numb without a challenge,
he then pushed me toward Heaven,
just so he could be remembered​

The Devil Is A Saint
I have become the sinner,
I have betrayed him, sinned against him,
but he still gave what was left of his life esteem
He wraps around me so faithfully,
Now, I refuse to shun him, I choose to accept him.​

The Devil Is A Saint
Hell is where he's comfortable,
its what he's use to,
He just wanted to be loved, the way he loves,
His love is the true love so please take note.​

The Devil Is A Saint
He dreams of Heaven, and forgiveness,
All Holy has become evil to me,
I drink in bitterness,
against them, for rejecting him,
He lives in Hell and condemnation
and he was cut down on both sides.​

The Devil Is A Saint
my heart will not endure this,
with the kiss of silver's mercy
to sing me sweet eternal lullaby
in flames, but in my heart, I am justified.​

The Devil Is A Saint
If neither one will recieve you,
then neither are worthy of your love,
let my heart become your prison,
No matter where I go or lay my head,
Our love, will always be the true Heaven.​

Interesting... Reminds me of a Mark Twain quote:

But who prays for Satan? Who in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most, our one fellow and brother who most needed a friend yet had not a single one, the one sinner among us all who had the highest and clearest right to every Christian's daily and nightly prayers, for the plain and unassailable reason that his was the first and greatest need, he being among sinners the supremest?
- Mark Twain's Autobiography

It also reminds me of a Rolling Stones song!

Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
I've been around for a long, long year
Stole many a man's soul and faith

And I was 'round when Jesus Christ
Had his moment of doubt and pain
Made damn sure that Pilate
Washed his hands and sealed his fate

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game

I stuck around St. Petersburg
When I saw it was a time for a change
Killed the Czar and his ministers
Anastasia screamed in vain

I rode a tank
Held a general's rank
When the Blitzkrieg raged
And the bodies stank

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name, oh yeah
Ah, what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah
(woo woo, woo woo)

I watched with glee
While your kings and queens
Fought for ten decades
For the gods they made
(woo woo, woo woo)

I shouted out,
"Who killed the Kennedy's?"
When after all
It was you and me
(who who, who who)

Let me please introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
And I laid traps for troubadours
Who get killed before they reached Bombay
(woo woo, who who)

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
(who who)
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah, get down, baby
(who who, who who)

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
But what's confusing you
Is just the nature of my game
(woo woo, who who)

Just as every cop is a criminal
And all the sinners saints
As heads is tails
Just call me Lucifer
'Cause I'm in need of some restraint
(who who, who who)

So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, have some taste
(woo woo)
Use all your well-learned politesse
Or I'll lay your soul to waste, mmm yeah
(woo woo, woo woo)

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, mmm yeah
(who who)
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, mmm mean it, get down
(woo woo, woo woo)

Woo, who
Oh yeah, get on down
Oh yeah
Oh yeah!
(woo woo)

Tell me baby, what's my name
Tell me honey, can ya guess my name
Tell me baby, what's my name
I tell you one time, you're to blame
​

 

[PopClick]

And you quoted me... why?

Taylor Swift? I don't do country, I'm afraid. D=

Since it bugged you the first time, I decided to quote you again!

 

[Wolf]

Interesting... Reminds me of a Mark Twain quote:

But who prays for Satan? Who in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most, our one fellow and brother who most needed a friend yet had not a single one, the one sinner among us all who had the highest and clearest right to every Christian's daily and nightly prayers, for the plain and unassailable reason that his was the first and greatest need, he being among sinners the supremest?​

- Mark Twain's Autobiography

I actually wrote a song about my "Saint" a couple years ago, when I was sharing my poems and songs with a good friend, but I forgot how it went, I can only remember bits and pieces of it. Maybe they saved that song, who knows, I'm pretty sure they hate me though for also abandoning them..​

I'm no good with memories, but maybe that in itself is mercy...I rewrote it this morning, and added more too it. I cry a little for him, when I read it, sometimes.​

It also reminds me of a Rolling Stones song!

Please allow me to introduce myself ..."​

LOL how did I know that song was going to come up? XD I kind of thought about it too.​

It does sort of sound that way doesn't it? I don't care what anyone might say about it,​

mercy is mercy, and love is love, these belong to everyone.​

Fear is not from Heaven, yet fear seems to rule over everything.

..Its fascinating...Really. ​

Thankyou.​

 

[Siberian_Khatru]

It does sort of sound that way doesn't it? I don't care what anyone might say about it,​

mercy is mercy, and love is love, these belong to everyone.​

Fear is not from Heaven, yet fear seems to rule over everything.

..Its fascinating...Really. ​

Thankyou.​

You know, I don't believe fear to be an all around bad thing. After all, we are to fear the Lord. But I do think there is a fine line between irrational fear, and the type of fear - which is synonymous with reverence - we are to have for God.

/end rant.

 

[Wolf]

You know, I don't believe fear to be an all around bad thing. After all, we are to fear the Lord. But I do think there is a fine line between irrational fear, and the type of fear - which is synonymous with reverence - we are to have for God.

/end rant.

Makes sense, sometimes you just forget which is which, even if you've known that for a long time.

 

[Siberian_Khatru]

This one reminded me of you a bit, Lovesong. <3

"Open Secrets" by Neal Peart

It went right by me
At the time it went over my head
I was looking out the window
I should have looked at your face instead

It went right by me
Just another wall
There should have been a moment
When we let our barriers fall
I never meant what you're thinking...
That's not what I meant at all.

[Chorus:]
Well, I guess we all have these feelings
We can't leave unreconciled
Some of them burned on our ceilings
Some of them learned as a child

The things that we're concealing
Will never let us grow
Time will do its healing
You've got to let it go

Closed for my protection
Open to your scorn
Between these two directions
My heart is sometimes torn

I lie awake with my secrets
Spinning around my head
Something that somehow escaped me
Something you shouldn't have said
I was looking out the window
I should have looked at your face instead.

[Chorus]

I find no absolution
In my rational point of view
Maybe some things are instinctive
But there's one thing you could do
You could try to understand me
I could try to understand you
You could try to understand me
I could try to understand you
​

 

[Wolf]

thanks!

"The things that we're concealing
Will never let us grow
Time will do its healing
You've got to let it go" -quote Neal Peart​

Too sensitive with a fragile heart to a fault...Yeah that sounds about right. Right on the dot.
My greatest fault in my life is playing, "Personal Jesus" to everyone, ever since I was a small child. Which may have been an evil in itself, because I wasn't Jesus.

Growing up, I would listen to others cry, but I was not allowed to cry or get angry or act out myself, I had to be the "strong one" to breaking point, but I was never allowed break down. Thoughts, words and feelings are personal torment arrows, that never stopped for me, I just learned to keep them in and cycle, I didn't know how to repress or let go, this is my own personal hell, which may just be, fit for me. I don't know how to unlearn something like this, it feels somewhat permenant, and possibly deserved. I can only say that I'm doing my best.

It went right by me
At the time it went over my head
I was looking out the window
I should have looked at your face instead​

It went right by me
Just another wall
There should have been a moment
When we let our barriers fall
I never meant what you're thinking...
That's not what I meant at all.​

[Chorus:]
Well, I guess we all have these feelings
We can't leave unreconciled
Some of them burned on our ceilings
Some of them learned as a child​

Closed for my protection
Open to your scorn
Between these two directions
My heart is sometimes torn
....​

I find no absolution
In my rational point of view
Maybe some things are instinctive
But there's one thing you could do
...​

Wow, I relate to that a lot. In my case with "my guy" I couldn't look at him, (not because I was ashamed or didn't like him) but because when I did all the fears, heaviness, doubts, came flooding in. If I was wrong about this, I would be possibly be bothering. I was taught to respect others, that was just a traditional value I grew up with (to a fault). Its kind of like looking at a broken mirror, distance keeps the chao's clear. If you got close you would see the truth. I'm afraid of getting close because, I could be wrong about everything, and they won't let me get close enough to try anyway. Yet they don't want to let go, its confusing, and its hurting me.. There's no escaping it, yet theres no getting close, even if I tried. ..I guess i just learned to respect their personal space for their comfort. I do the best that I can with what I have and that how I handle it.​

You could try to understand me
I could try to understand you
You could try to understand me
I could try to understand you​

I don't understand the question... j/k​

yeah thats what I'm currently trying to do. "understand" it all.​

Wow, these hit 'home', thankyou so much for your analysis Siberian. ​

 

[Wolf]

The Long Awaited - Part II (A Tragedy - poem)​

The white sheep, she waited to be consumed,
The wolf's gaze seemed somewhat confused.
She closed her eyes and waited to die.
The wolf only rested his head on her neck.
with a sorrowful sigh he said...​

"This is not you, who are you trying to fool?"
The wolf bit down gently to pull away the wool
To reveal another white wolf in sheeps clothing.
He comforted all her fears away softly soothing.​

The white wolf shakingly cried, "I'm sorry for pretending."
The other lovingly smiled, "I always knew you were no sheep."
The white wolf decided to put the sheep costume to sleep.
She felt free, and truly happy to be what she had been all along.
The white wolf followed the other one back home, to where she truly belonged.​

The Long Awaited - Part I (a comedy - poem)
- by Lowanla (me)​

The hunger for love keeps returning
like a wicked wolf to a white sheep
and neither are going be happy
until they both succumb to slumber
together in the long awaited sleep​

longing to sleep no longer to awaken
morbid sounding yet desiring consumation
should this type of love be sought as sin so darkly
when my dreams seem more wonderful then my reality?​

the white sheep bit the wicked wolf he howled
an unexpected act and with tears he cried..
the sheep felt love and pity for his heart
submittingly she lay her head beneath his maw​

you pursue me unnaturally with your love
with you I waltz to the point of no return
I've fallen to deep igniting my heart in flames
I long for you, I love you, I see you
my long awaited my dear only for you - I burn
-end-​

 

[Wolf]

"Open Secrets" by Neal Peart, brought a few thoughts to my mind for
another poem, thanks Siberian! ​

Absolution
Poem by Lowanla (me)​

Hypothetically, I have a fascinating theory;
beautiful serene falls don't happen for nothing.
Christianity is the only lifestyle without absolution,
for absolution is the theme in the game of fate you still play..​

Your heart is the human part of you,
its the one thing that can never be moved.
Yet it is a fragile paper thin thing.
The slightest betrayal can bring a mans whole world to nothing.​

He feels he deserves this great pain,
his guilt is 20 times worse and so is his shame,
A game of fate, will solve that, a game played in the name of fate.
A future betrayal would have to have happened to cause such a pain,
a mistake his love would have done with another to cause his heart to break...​

why would you do that to me?
I have not done this fault yet, but I feel I have done it already.
I tell you now I will not move, I will freeze in time,
to prevent such a precious loss that is your life to me..​

You're wonderful to me, the thoughts.. they torment me,
I cannot endure such a thing.
I've plenty of time to think about such things,
while I was away from you...​

You deserve love!
You deserve to be loved!
Can you not see that?
Does my sacrificed life for you mean nothing?​

I have given up an eternity,
because I believe in 'you' and your beautiful dream.
I love you ...I will not destroy you..
..I refuse,
I declare that,
I will never see that day.
that is my final absolution,
that is my fateful resolution.​

 

[Wolf]

Don't Look At Me
Poem by Lowanla (me)

Don't look at me,
You're not gonna like what you see,
you liked me cause I was strong,
right now I am all wrong.

Don't look at me,
right now I am having a moment,
I need to balance sanity,
to hide in my little corner of safety,
a place where I can hide.
A place where nobody knows me.
A place where no one will
judge me, because nobody
really knows me.
A place I am responsible for
no one else but me.

Don't look at me,
my world is turning into a white hurricane around me,
all things I once known heavenly are closing shut,
I'm beside my house shoveling the dirt in over me,
I don't want you to see this...weakness.

Don't look at me,
you will hate who you see,
don't look at me,
Its all getting to me,
Don't look at me.
Don't look at me..

Just let me breathe.
Just let me cry.
Its not your fault,
The decision is mine.

Don't look at me,
I will cope..
I am just learning to be.
don't be angry...

right now, just don't look at me..

 

[Wolf]

"Open Secrets" by Neal Peart, brought a few thoughts to my mind for​

another poem, thanks Siberian! ​

"Absolution
Poem by Lowanla (me)​

"...why would you do that to me?
I have not done this fault yet..."​

Irony! lol...I'm laughing at myself, of course only because I sound so dumb and selfish there (as usual). Obviously if indeed
this is a possibility, then it should be him saying "why would you do this to me?"
Ahh well...I don't think at this prior moment I would ever cheat on someone I loved, because I am a very serious person about many things, I take things seriously..

Makes me wonder, is it possible to change from one extreme to another, I think so...someone so cruel could only do such an act..
I am not saying I would never make any mistakes in the future, because I am a weak person,
(...if my current actions weren't more obvious). I realize I am only strong to a certain areas but weak in many things ...

and there are plenty of evil out there, that let me know that from time to time.
sometimes I wonder if it be better that I had not existed at all...

Thats just an interesting time paradigm analysis of my theories on my life...I have to pull everything a part to see all the odds and ends and the real reason for things happening the way they do...

I always had a skeptical view of many things, unless I choose to believe them.

I suppose I am a bit dramatic, thats the wonders of helplessness, and fear.. *sighs*

I want to hide but I can't even hide in my thoughts...
*bangs head on keyboard* privacy use to be a wonderful thing... -.-;;

 

[Siberian_Khatru]

Don't Look At Me
Poem by Lowanla (me)

Don't look at me,
You're not gonna like what you see,
you liked me cause I was strong,
right now I am all wrong

I still like you! <3

 

[Wolf]

I still like you! <3

That is adorably sweet, and good to know! Thankyou

That poem is pretty selfish and helpless at the same time, I am a selfish person, its hard for me to share a fearful heartache with others. Even when one person would get right into my head and make sure I wasn't alone. Its somewhat threatening to me still.
I'm not use to it, and I'm so fearfully warped I am not use to kindness either. lol.

Any sort of warmth and kindness for me is like jumping into a cold pool of water, I'm not use to it, I almost go into shock, I just have to get comfortable enough and use to things, then I turn into a puppy. Strange aren't I?

 

[Wolf]

"Graceless Marriage"
By Lowanla (me)​

Forgive me for I haven't sinned,
Forgive me for I may sin..
Forgive me for I will sin,
Forgive me for the sin of fear.
Forgive me for causing ALL your suffering, pain, and tears.
Forgive me, for making you wait all those years...​

What if I tear your heart in two?
In the end would you have
enough strength to make it
through?​

Would you forgive someone
if you knew what they would do to you,
before they even did it?
Would it torment you?
would it break you?
Would you believe you deserved
you had it coming to you?​

Could you look that person in the eye,
and learn to live with them
and their future lies,​

Or could you learn to compromise,
with someone you realized was not perfect,
someone who was just as messed up as you.​

Thats the bond of a company that will spend their lives
in a life time of love.
Its something that must be fought for,
love is the reason two must rise above.​

I don't believe you deserve the hurt I give you,
Its not your fault...for all the stupid things I may do,
for all the stupid stuff that I have already done to you..​

Its okay...
be angry, tell me you hate me,
Scream, and then tell me how you feel,
tell me everything.​

You don't have to be afraid of me,
Things only work when we both know what we are thinking.​

I am no mind reader, I'd rather put you first and you be the leader..​

You are worth more to me,
than me,​

so if you think this is worth it,
tell me how you think it should be..
tell me how you think it shouldn't be..​