Man or Woman: who should do that chase?

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Lanolin said:
The 'right dude' seems to be a unicorn.
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I was listening to Paul Washer yesterday. He was mentioning how some people say about some Christian men how great they are to there wife. Now he turned around and said it's not the man, it's how great the wife is that drives him to do what he does! It's his love for her holding his devotion in thoughts and actions that he would lay down anything.The preaching he used this as a reference to how when we see how much we are loved by Christ we will do anything. But I believe this is a good reference to a marriage too. Cause the woman I found is so Christ like and so loving I'm not exhausting all my funds I can to bring her from Kuwait for no reason. She some might say not good in looks but she is the most gorgeous I've seen in and out. I hope you find this .
 
Most men will proclaim every one his own goodness: but a faithful man who can find?

Proverbs 20:6

Well that's what God told me. And doesn't necessarily even mean faithful to God, I mean at least faithful to his wife.
Cos even King David committed adultery and murder just to be with Bathsheba
 
After 25 years of dating in what we call the modern world, I don't think we really appreciate how much culture, sin and the world has permeated the church and believers in how they go about things.

1.) Many Christians are no different from non-believers. They live like their computer toy, fast car or new kitchen gives them satisfaction and not God. They live for this life now and this puts unrealistic expectations financially on the marriage from the start. Realistically, not many couples can afford for the wife to stay at home (I believe this is done on purpose).

2.) Women have been influenced by the Sex In The City/Feminist culture around them. Women are just as guilty as men when it comes to sex. Chic-Lit books are the literary version of online porn and create totally unrealistic and unobtainable versions of sex and intimacy. No man can compete with the stuff you find in these books.

3.) Men needs to stop watching porn. Same as women with reading trashy magazines and Chic-Lit books. See above.

4.) Women need to have more respect for men for being men...especially as they are charged with loving their wife to the point where they are asked to be prepared to give their lives for them.

5.) Men need to love women more than they do in how they speak and treat them in marriage. They need to communicate better and leave the "alpha male" culture behind when you're behind closed-doors and personal, intimate discussions need to be had. This means your fishing trip or football afternoon with the lads needs to be put on hold if necessary.

6.) In all of my years looking for a wife, I can honestly say that for the most part, online dating sites are a total waste of time.

The best relationships start with friendship. Trust me, you don't need to ask someone out straight away after you've had 2 coffees together before a church service. You know nothing about them.

It takes time to see how someone behaves and acts. Anyone can be nice over a coffee date. However what happens when they are having a bad day? Do they take it out on others? Their family? Because how someone reacts is how they will react to you.

How do they treat their family? How they treat them is how they will treat you.

So I guess I'd say...don't chase. There's no need. You don't need to impress anyone. Just be yourself, follow the Lord and get to know people in your church organically...and go from there.
 
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Hope that last post didn't come across as a rant.

I just think as a church of believers in the West, we have been sucked into the worldly culture around us and wonder why things go wrong when we are dating like the world.
 
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Just to say, I agree except for the chic-lit part. Its called Chick-lit, not chic-lit.
Chic-lit is a genre I've never heard of, but you might have created a new name there. I would categorise all Vogue magazines as chic-lit, and books to do with fashion, like the Devil wears Prada.

Sex and the City was not so much about sex as it is about fashion. The fashions are pretty outrageous, and I'm pretty sure most women just watched it for the fashion. There wasn't actually much sex scenes in there at all, if I recall. Well I watched it before I was a born again Christian anyway.

And as far as I know, you can't really run in high heels, well, I can't, so not sure about them chasing men in those. Princess Diana used to call them 'tarts trotters'. She didn't need to wear them anyway, she was already tall.
 
welsh79 said:
Hope that last post didn't come across as a rant.

I just think as a church of believers in the West, we have been sucked into the worldly culture around us and wonder why things go wrong when we are dating like the world.
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rant away
There's probably problems in the church of believers in the East as well, as far as finding a spouse goes, just different kinds of problems.
 
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