Marriage...expensive or just the wedding?

[Lanolin]

A hipster DIY? I was referring to a basic DIY, of course a hipster or fancy DIY is going to drive cost up. Who the heck needs 3 engagement parties??

Specially constructed barnyard?? They built a farm for a wedding??

Some time off might be necessary to get work done, if it's excessive time off, the it's no wonder her DIY cost as much as normal wedding.

Sounds like she didnt have any budget. Just spent frivolously. That's a tragedy, if I was the groom, I'd be pretty angry. I would probably reconsider the wedding no one should marry someone who is horrible with money.

if your parents pay for it, it doesnt count I suppose
Her mum and stepdad lived on a farm, but yea, it was a hipster farm or a hobby farm (not a like a real working farm) and I think she went way over budget.

In the book, she had mason jars and bunting as decorations and was proud of making them herself though lol. But if you live in the a city apartment, you probably dont worry about paying a mortgage, just rent a place to squeeze in,
But then she wrote and illustrated another book about the birth of her son, which wasnt an easy undertaking since she had to have surgery to have him out!

Hipsters dont worry too much about money when their parents can finance them to start with. They just want their weddings to look like they've done them all themselves is my cynical view. At least one parent will come up with the dough (or dowry) since their family reputation is at stake.

 

[I_am_Canadian]

if your parents pay for it, it doesnt count I suppose
Her mum and stepdad lived on a farm, but yea, it was a hipster farm or a hobby farm (not a like a real working farm) and I think she went way over budget.

In the book, she had mason jars and bunting as decorations and was proud of making them herself though lol. But if you live in the a city apartment, you probably dont worry about paying a mortgage, just rent a place to squeeze in,
But then she wrote and illustrated another book about the birth of her son, which wasnt an easy undertaking since she had to have surgery to have him out!

Hipsters dont worry too much about money when their parents can finance them to start with. They just want their weddings to look like they've done them all themselves is my cynical view. At least one parent will come up with the dough (or dowry) since their family reputation is at stake.

Totally understand, please forgive me since I've never read the books

 

[Lanolin]

One thing I learned from reading the book (called Something New) is she gushed over finding a bridal gown with pockets. Well anyone ordinary would have found a dress and if it didnt have pockets would have sewn some in.
But I think women seem to expect all outfits come ready made to fit these days. You cant expect to buy a gown off the rack and have it fit perfectly especially if its bridal or evening wear.

I am not sure why the trend is for wedding gowns to look like evening wear (if the wedding is during the day) and the strapless mermaid look which requires ingenious undergarments to hold it all up.

Most weddings are held in spring when the flowers are out but there is only a short season when they are their best otherwise the cost of getting flowers goes way up since they have to be delivered from half way round the world. I dont know if brides these days ever consider it. But I heard that for some families, no expense should be spared for their princess.

Apparently NZs former prime minister still hasnt had her wedding because of covid etc and had to keep cancelling her wedding venue. She has a 5 year old daughter now. There was a big sotoush in the media about her cancelling a venue and the owners complained it left them put of pocket. We have a business to run! they claim...but someone has every right to cancel a booking if they give enough notice. The hospitality industry cant complain when people dont want to utilise them if they make it so expensive and dependent on weddings to keep them afloat.

dont get me started on the funeral industry! lol

 

[I_am_Canadian]

One thing I learned from reading the book (called Something New) is she gushed over finding a bridal gown with pockets. Well anyone ordinary would have found a dress and if it didnt have pockets would have sewn some in.
But I think women seem to expect all outfits come ready made to fit these days. You cant expect to buy a gown off the rack and have it fit perfectly especially if its bridal or evening wear.

I am not sure why the trend is for wedding gowns to look like evening wear (if the wedding is during the day) and the strapless mermaid look which requires ingenious undergarments to hold it all up.

Most weddings are held in spring when the flowers are out but there is only a short season when they are their best otherwise the cost of getting flowers goes way up since they have to be delivered from half way round the world. I dont know if brides these days ever consider it. But I heard that for some families, no expense should be spared for their princess.

Apparently NZs former prime minister still hasnt had her wedding because of covid etc and had to keep cancelling her wedding venue. She has a 5 year old daughter now. There was a big sotoush in the media about her cancelling a venue and the owners complained it left them put of pocket. We have a business to run! they claim...but someone has every right to cancel a booking if they give enough notice. The hospitality industry cant complain when people dont want to utilise them if they make it so expensive and dependent on weddings to keep them afloat.

dont get me started on the funeral industry! lol

Oh ok, interesting.

Please don't I just went through it with my dad's funeral back in December

 

[Lanolin]

its ok I this is a marriage and wedding thread not a funeral one.

I think the royal family have a lot to answer for popularising big lavish weddings even though many of them got divorced later. I was thinking about Princess Dianas and Prince Charles wedding where she had a twenty five foot long train, huge pouffy skirt and puff sleeves.

Their sons had popular royal weddings to broadcast to millions and no expense spared. Princess Kate was a party planner, and ex Princess Meghan had dramas over her father NOT giving her away or even showing up. I read a book about their wedding and the last chapters were basically ads for all the wedding paraphenalia they used from centre pieces to jewellery to flowers to calligraphy invites, wine and cutlery.

Taxpayers paid for all that?!

 

[Beckie]

At the time of Jesus the bridegroom was the main figure of a wedding..

 

[I_am_Canadian]

its ok I this is a marriage and wedding thread not a funeral one.

I think the royal family have a lot to answer for popularising big lavish weddings even though many of them got divorced later. I was thinking about Princess Dianas and Prince Charles wedding where she had a twenty five foot long train, huge pouffy skirt and puff sleeves.

Their sons had popular royal weddings to broadcast to millions and no expense spared. Princess Kate was a party planner, and ex Princess Meghan had dramas over her father NOT giving her away or even showing up. I read a book about their wedding and the last chapters were basically ads for all the wedding paraphenalia they used from centre pieces to jewellery to flowers to calligraphy invites, wine and cutlery.

Taxpayers paid for all that?!

Right,.,,....
I think it's mostly a tradition thing, where if they get married it's publicized.,

Right, I wouldn't know because I never read the book.

 

[Genipher]

At the time of Jesus the bridegroom was the main figure of a wedding..

I went to a wedding once where the bride stood at the front and waited for the groom to arrive.
They said they wanted their wedding to be a picture of Christ returning for his Bride.
It was pretty amazing.

 

[I_am_Canadian]

I went to a wedding once where the bride stood at the front and waited for the groom to arrive.
They said they wanted their wedding to be a picture of Christ returning for his Bride.
It was pretty amazing.

Awww sounds like a great wedding

 

[Tall_Timbers]

My son recently married. They wanted to get married at the church in Harvard square. The church quoted them a price and they accepted the date when the church was available. As the day drew nearer and the church billed them, it was for 2 or 3 times the amount that was agreed upon. It was thousands just to use the church. They tried real hard to keep costs down but it still cost a pretty penny for the whole thing. I guess a couple can get married for very little via a justice of the peace or from a pastor they know and just have a couple of witness there, or you can easily spend a small fortune for that special day. It's such a special day and hopefully only happens once in a lifetime that I think the $$$ is justified so long as one doesn't have to take out a loan for the extravaganza.

 

[seoulsearch]

My son recently married. They wanted to get married at the church in Harvard square. The church quoted them a price and they accepted the date when the church was available. As the day drew nearer and the church billed them, it was for 2 or 3 times the amount that was agreed upon. It was thousands just to use the church. They tried real hard to keep costs down but it still cost a pretty penny for the whole thing. I guess a couple can get married for very little via a justice of the peace or from a pastor they know and just have a couple of witness there, or you can easily spend a small fortune for that special day. It's such a special day and hopefully only happens once in a lifetime that I think the $$$ is justified so long as one doesn't have to take out a loan for the extravaganza.

I'm so sorry that your son and daughter-in-law had to pay so much more than expected!

Did the church not give them an invoice of the price that was quoted?

Going back to Lynx's thread about talking on the phone... This is another reason why I choose to do everything I can via text or email, so that I have some kind of proof in writing.

I'm glad it all worked out but it is, of course, very disheartening that churches do this.

Yet another reason I'm sure why so many people don't want to have anything to do with churches these days.

 

[Tall_Timbers]

Did the church not give them an invoice of the price that was quoted?

I don't know the details of that. It is pretty sad that whoever manages such things at a Christian church would do something like that.

 

[shittim]

Sad to see a couple start marriage with a huge debt, the worst thing you could do.

 

[shittim]

If G-d is the center piece, all else will work out.

 

[Lanolin]

I dont know I seem to know a lot of people who married in churches and they broke up later. They may have believed God was the centre of their marriage since they had it IN church, but it still went all wrong.

Not sure what the answer to that one is.

Most young couples are in debt, my cousin sure is and shes engaged, and its not likely they will have a wedding, what with a mortagage to pay and she was laid off as well a month after the house was secured.

She wants to have it in her backyard, though it will take some time to get that ready, and they could only do it in the summer months because its muddy at all other times.

If it was me I would probably got a JP, get everything signed with a witness, and throw a casual house party at a later date to friends and then just say we got married last week, be happy for us.

Ive been to formal school balls and gotten dressed up before and its not like I missed out on much. I do know that some parents dislike the headache and expense of dressing up their daughters (I know many just sewed their own dresses) and bridesmaids dresses are known to be hideous creations you would never ever wear again.

 

[Lanolin]

Ive witnessed a few church weddings where the couple left soon after to pastor a different church, so they didnt even stick around in the church they married in. One I distinctly remember the groom being a bit bewildered he was being married, but his bride was determined she was going to be married so she could youth pastor another church. I am not sure what the rules are for pastorates as they seem to be different at different churches.

For baptists it seems you need to be married to minister, but in others its like you are not allowed to marry and have to be single and celibate. ?!

 

[Lanolin]

Um not sure why you would hire Beverly Hills event production if you dont live in Beverly Hills.

I suppose my thread COULD be used as free advertising. But that was not its intent.

 

[Lanolin]

I don't know the details of that. It is pretty sad that whoever manages such things at a Christian church would do something like that.

They do it because it makes money for them, I remmeber the friend who was the original subject of this thread at her wedding she was traditionally late and the church were going to charge her for overtime because there was a another wedding scheduled after her one in the morning.

She didnt have all the bells (and whistles? ) because the church charges extra for use of bells and whistles.
whistles being the organs of course.

She no longer attends the church she got married in. She went across the road to another church!

 

[Lanolin]

FWIW she was married in an Anglican church but her new church she is attending now is Catholic.

Some of us might say those churches are nominally christian. But then probably other churches have their issues as well being hired as wedding venues. Churches can be used for all sorts of things though, one I know thats baptist hired out their hall to muslims as playgroup, and seventh day adventists on saturdays. A bible chapel doubles as a toy library. Quakers seem to use their meeting houses as flophouses for travellers and I found out they do gay marriages.

Whether God is in all these things is open to question. Wedding. celebrants need not be christian.

 

[seekingthemindofChrist]

I often come across couples who arent married but just live together, and they might be together for many years, even have children and buy a house together. But they just arent married. And when I ask why, the most common reason given is its too expensive to get married.

Is it really?

And sometimes its even christian believers who say this.

So how are we to think of marriage is it only for the rich? Only if the hsuband is willing to provide for his household, what does this say about people who dont marry yet live like they are married. They are too poor? Can weddings be cheaper or why not just register at an office. Or does it all need to be done in church. Why is it so expensive? People say they'd rather spend the money on a house. But what does that say about priorities? Have a wedding, be married and be homeless, or not marry and have a roof over your head. Can one have both?

From what I can tell, there was absolutely no cost involved when Adam and Eve were joined together as the first husband and wife. Well, it did cost Adam a rib, and that reminds me of the following joke.

One day, the LORD came to Adam and said, "Adam, I have great news for you! When you wake up later today, you will find yourself presented with a woman who will be your helpmate. She will always give herself to you fully, in spirit, soul, and body, while remaining faithful to you, and to you alone. She will help to raise any children you might have, and she will be a keeper at home..." Before the LORD could continue any further, Adam interrupted him and said, "LORD, this sounds too good to be true! What will this cost me?" The LORD replied, "It will cost you an arm and a leg". Adam thought on that for a moment, and then said, "LORD, that price is a bit steep. What can I get for a rib?" And here we are today...

Before anybody picks up stones to stone me to death, that was not meant as any sort of attack on women. As a man myself, I fully believe that every husband should concentrate on laying his own life down for his wife, as Christ laid down his life for the church, and that a husband should focus upon nourishing and cherishing his wife as his own flesh. Furthermore, he should be actively seeking to wash her with the water of God's word, or watching over her in order to help her with her sanctification process before the Lord without neglecting his own sanctification process himself.

Anyhow, I understand that the laws of our land require such things as a marriage license, but, in my estimation, there is truly no need whatsoever for some exceedingly costly wedding ceremony and reception...which is probably one reason why women are not trampling over themselves to be with me.

Seriously, if people invested one-tenth of the time, effort, and money into their actual marriages themselves, as opposed to just the ceremony on that one specific day, then I believe that our divorce rates would shrink drastically, and that this world would be a very different place than it currently is.

But, what do I know...?