Hello, everyone! 
I greet you all with the love of our Lord!
I've been going through a rough patch since my spiritual reawakening, and i am constantly being barraged by fears and doubts... It's tough 'coz knowing where i just came from, which is a period of great darkness and emptiness in my life, i am wary of falling into the same pit again, and making the same mistakes.
At the start of this revival, my eyes were set on nothing but my purpose, which is to glorify God in everything i do, and with all that's within me, and also to edify and encourage our brethren. And it was a very peaceful state of mind, coz i know i am just taking this walk with God, and He's showing me everything i need to see and understand. In return, He has answered my prayers, in the form of friends and brethren, which i didnt realize i actually am in great need of.
In the past, i've been abused in relationships i've had with so-called friends and lovers, even some brethren. The result was a great deal of damage in my ability to trust others...i try to keep a certain distance, and never want to develop any dependence on them for anything. If they needed something, i still try to be a good friend to them and help when i can. But internally, i dont feel connected to them at all. I loathed a great deal of hypocrisy that i see around me from day to day. The so-called "fair weather" friends who are only there when their needs arise, and then nowhere in sight the rest if the time. And the blatant users, who are just waiting for a gullible fool, who was, unfortunately, me oftentimes. Those experiences where lessons i learned hard as part of this reality.
But occasionally, i meet true friends, who reflect God's unconditional love and understanding, and have the ability to encourage me when i'm really upset or lonely, as well as make me laugh when it's farthest from my mind. I consider them as God's blessing, and treasure them dearly.
Sadly though, at times, i still make mistakes. Erring on the side of paranoia...i mistake good people for bad ones. Lack of trust, plus unspoken fears, plus low self-esteem equals disaster and drastic courses of action. I have recently learned this...and truly regret it. I still need to learn to see myself through the eyes of the Lord, who loves and accepts me as i am, imperfections and all. I need to learn to have the eyes that discern truth from falsehood...sincerity from lies. I need to learn when to be on guard, and when to open myself and be vulnerable. It's a very tough transition to go through, but i trust God will show me the way. All i have to do is fix my eyes on Him, let Him lead my hand, and not be afraid.
And so, again, my favorite verse comes to mind. 2 Timothy 1:7 - For God hath not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
Please feel free to share your own experiences here about mistakes in your life. Let us overcome these trials together, brethren. I'll be praying for you too.
God bless you all, and have a good day!!
I greet you all with the love of our Lord!I've been going through a rough patch since my spiritual reawakening, and i am constantly being barraged by fears and doubts... It's tough 'coz knowing where i just came from, which is a period of great darkness and emptiness in my life, i am wary of falling into the same pit again, and making the same mistakes.
At the start of this revival, my eyes were set on nothing but my purpose, which is to glorify God in everything i do, and with all that's within me, and also to edify and encourage our brethren. And it was a very peaceful state of mind, coz i know i am just taking this walk with God, and He's showing me everything i need to see and understand. In return, He has answered my prayers, in the form of friends and brethren, which i didnt realize i actually am in great need of.
In the past, i've been abused in relationships i've had with so-called friends and lovers, even some brethren. The result was a great deal of damage in my ability to trust others...i try to keep a certain distance, and never want to develop any dependence on them for anything. If they needed something, i still try to be a good friend to them and help when i can. But internally, i dont feel connected to them at all. I loathed a great deal of hypocrisy that i see around me from day to day. The so-called "fair weather" friends who are only there when their needs arise, and then nowhere in sight the rest if the time. And the blatant users, who are just waiting for a gullible fool, who was, unfortunately, me oftentimes. Those experiences where lessons i learned hard as part of this reality.
But occasionally, i meet true friends, who reflect God's unconditional love and understanding, and have the ability to encourage me when i'm really upset or lonely, as well as make me laugh when it's farthest from my mind. I consider them as God's blessing, and treasure them dearly.
Sadly though, at times, i still make mistakes. Erring on the side of paranoia...i mistake good people for bad ones. Lack of trust, plus unspoken fears, plus low self-esteem equals disaster and drastic courses of action. I have recently learned this...and truly regret it. I still need to learn to see myself through the eyes of the Lord, who loves and accepts me as i am, imperfections and all. I need to learn to have the eyes that discern truth from falsehood...sincerity from lies. I need to learn when to be on guard, and when to open myself and be vulnerable. It's a very tough transition to go through, but i trust God will show me the way. All i have to do is fix my eyes on Him, let Him lead my hand, and not be afraid.
And so, again, my favorite verse comes to mind. 2 Timothy 1:7 - For God hath not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
Please feel free to share your own experiences here about mistakes in your life. Let us overcome these trials together, brethren. I'll be praying for you too.
God bless you all, and have a good day!!
