Oh the times I have spent fretting, pondering and wondering if I was ok, do I understand Him correctly? Am I loving with a sincere heart for God, or am I wrapped in merely fleeting moments of sensuality, being tossed about never fully understanding? I have even battled with a desire, a longing if you will, to be special, to be considered, to be seen, to be accepted, to please, to even be loved and cared for uniquely, not by God, but by man. I can be shallow and vain, lead by my own self centered ideas and insecurities...
Why am I confessing my most inner self, why do I feel compelled to share the broken pieces? It is simple really…
While boldly stating my truth does make me more vulnerable in one sense, it also allows my truth to be dealt with in a more reasonable manner.
Why also do I put my beliefs of Him and my insecurities together? Also simple…
Because, my inner makeup, my personality, weaknesses, history and genetics, are woven into my belief system.
You see the me me me component of self is such a powerful force that only He can and has penetrated. He knows who He is dealing with. He knows where He wants, even insists, us to be. He wired us for love and community, to be driven to care genuinely for others, to give and to receive. He knows all of our broken pieces, the broken little hearts and minds...He died for each and everyone of us, so that we can be put back together again, all with His light of truth.
I started this by saying, I fret...do I hear and do right, am I this and am I that. Oh what peace I get from knowing the great I Am is the One who has it all figured out, mine is merely to surrender all, every little or big shattered and confused bits to Him. The more the focus is towards His greatness, the less room there is for anything else, including self.
He softens our hearts, He equips us for everything because He is Everything! Dying to self, becoming truly humble, is a gift He brings to the everlasting feast of His love and mercy. I have not arrived, still have moments where my self, the ego, rears her not so pretty head, but He never stops working within, guiding me back nearer to Him.
My Holy Shepherd, thank You so very MUCH!!!
Oh taste and see that He is good!!!
Why am I confessing my most inner self, why do I feel compelled to share the broken pieces? It is simple really…
While boldly stating my truth does make me more vulnerable in one sense, it also allows my truth to be dealt with in a more reasonable manner.
Why also do I put my beliefs of Him and my insecurities together? Also simple…
Because, my inner makeup, my personality, weaknesses, history and genetics, are woven into my belief system.
You see the me me me component of self is such a powerful force that only He can and has penetrated. He knows who He is dealing with. He knows where He wants, even insists, us to be. He wired us for love and community, to be driven to care genuinely for others, to give and to receive. He knows all of our broken pieces, the broken little hearts and minds...He died for each and everyone of us, so that we can be put back together again, all with His light of truth.
I started this by saying, I fret...do I hear and do right, am I this and am I that. Oh what peace I get from knowing the great I Am is the One who has it all figured out, mine is merely to surrender all, every little or big shattered and confused bits to Him. The more the focus is towards His greatness, the less room there is for anything else, including self.
He softens our hearts, He equips us for everything because He is Everything! Dying to self, becoming truly humble, is a gift He brings to the everlasting feast of His love and mercy. I have not arrived, still have moments where my self, the ego, rears her not so pretty head, but He never stops working within, guiding me back nearer to Him.
My Holy Shepherd, thank You so very MUCH!!!
Oh taste and see that He is good!!!