Need a miracle. Drowning in lethargic despair

[dpecheur10]

I am stuck. Don’t know what im doing with my life. How will i ever get out of this slump. Unemployed. Going broke. Severely lonely. Suffering depression. Clueless. Failed n my teaching career. Don’t know what I should. Is God whispering to me? Can any sign help point me toward the light? This darkness is smothering me. I’ve been trapped inside. Feel unloved and unlovable. Ashamed of myself and my life. Please God. I give up. I surrender my life. I need help. I need a miracle.

“...long is the way
And hard, that out of hell leads up to light...”
-from Milton’s Paradise Lost

 

[blue_ladybug]

First of all, stop feeling sorry for yourself. Second, read my depression testimony, in my signature below.

 

[levi85]

Lord bless depecheur10 and this prayer. In Jesus loving name, Amen!

 

[Depleted]

I am stuck. Don’t know what im doing with my life. How will i ever get out of this slump. Unemployed. Going broke. Severely lonely. Suffering depression. Clueless. Failed n my teaching career. Don’t know what I should. Is God whispering to me? Can any sign help point me toward the light? This darkness is smothering me. I’ve been trapped inside. Feel unloved and unlovable. Ashamed of myself and my life. Please God. I give up. I surrender my life. I need help. I need a miracle.

“...long is the way
And hard, that out of hell leads up to light...”
-from Milton’s Paradise Lost

I went to college to become a high school English teacher. I failed. (Well, actually I got the degree with a GPA of 2.75, so didn't fail my courses. I failed at being an English teacher. Cannot get the difference between gerunds and particle phrases, and cannot get all the comma rules right, so no English teacher.)

I became jobless often in my life. I became unable to hold a job when I was 44. I became disabled. My husband became disabled 2-3 years later. No more money came into this house through our labor. Still doesn't happen.

God promised Abraham a miracle -- a son, in his old age -- and true to his word, the Lord gave him what he promised. 17 years later!

How about not sitting back waiting for that miracle, but instead do the two things the Lord has asked us to do -- love him completely and love others as ourselves?

I'm not going to tell you how the Lord kept hubby and me fed and sheltered, but he did, and still does. I'm not going to tell you, because frankly, he rarely does the same thing the same way, so I doubt he will do it for you in the same way he's done it for us.

Life happens while we wait. There's a fairly good chance you are depressed because you're consumed with you. Consumed with you is neither love the Lord fully nor love others. There's also a chance you are depressed for physiological reasons. Life still happens.

While you're waiting for that miracle, you can still be doing what the Lord has asked you to do. Go! Help someone! After all, unemployment means you have more time to do, right?

 

[dpecheur10]

Hi blue ladybug, I appreciate your input and compassion. I don’t like the way my own thoughts sound when they are written out in the dead of night, when this post was made, under the strain of my starkest, most despairing state of mind. My #1 problem right now is my employment situation and figuring out what to do with myself. The dire straits I am getting squeezed inside of, going broke, the extent to which I am currently isolated, and spending too much time in my head are certainly byproducts of this career-related quandary. I am definitely going to read your testimony. Thanks for sharing it with me. I’ve already read the beginning and can see that I will relate to your experience. I’m going to read the rest in a little while, as soon as I have a chance. I’m wondering if you would read this answer I posted on Quora a few months ago, dealing with the topic of “feeling sorry” for oneself. I’m not sharing this because I’m objecting to you saying that, and I realize you have your own intimate knowledge of depression, but I would like to share it anyways just to offer my own perspective of that phrase, which I have a reflexive distaste for. I’m not excusing my excessive self-focus and hyper negativity, but for what it’s worth please read my thoughts here: https://www.quora.com/Do-people-rea...swer/Daniel-Pecheur?share=7b7f84e3&srid=3t0Fo

 

[Jesuswontleave]

Hi! I'm Lorynn! Would really enjoy talking to you more when you have time. I can kind of relate to what you have been going through.

 

[blue_ladybug]

Daniel, when I say "stop feeling sorry for yourself", I mean stop having such a...gloomy attitude on things. I've told that to many people here, not just you. If you can keep a positive mindset, then you already have something good. I've had all those things told to me, "move on", "get over it", etc... It is almost always easier said than done..

As far as getting some income, there are online surveys you can take that will pay you. And I know that some blog sites pay you to write for them. Even if you just advertise your services for mowing lawns, or something like that.

Hi blue ladybug, I appreciate your input and compassion. I don’t like the way my own thoughts sound when they are written out in the dead of night, when this post was made, under the strain of my starkest, most despairing state of mind. My #1 problem right now is my employment situation and figuring out what to do with myself. The dire straits I am getting squeezed inside of, going broke, the extent to which I am currently isolated, and spending too much time in my head are certainly byproducts of this career-related quandary. I am definitely going to read your testimony. Thanks for sharing it with me. I’ve already read the beginning and can see that I will relate to your experience. I’m going to read the rest in a little while, as soon as I have a chance. I’m wondering if you would read this answer I posted on Quora a few months ago, dealing with the topic of “feeling sorry” for oneself. I’m not sharing this because I’m objecting to you saying that, and I realize you have your own intimate knowledge of depression, but I would like to share it anyways just to offer my own perspective of that phrase, which I have a reflexive distaste for. I’m not excusing my excessive self-focus and hyper negativity, but for what it’s worth please read my thoughts here: https://www.quora.com/Do-people-rea...swer/Daniel-Pecheur?share=7b7f84e3&srid=3t0Fo

 

[dpecheur10]

No worries Ladybug-- I didn't think you meant it in any bad way, seriously. I know your intentions are loving, compassionate, and Christ-centered. I just thought I would share with you my thoughts about it, not as any kind of reproach, but I thought maybe it would speak to you because you really do know the torment and misery that go with depression. And I just figured I'd exchange that with you as I read your testimony (which I'm not quite done with yet-- but very powerful! and i relate very much!)
Now me losing the gloomy attitude-- i would love to do this! i need sunshine cutting through those dark clouds right away
That's why I cited this as my favorite verse on my profile (though it is one of about 3 or 4):
from Matthew 6:
22Luke 11:34, 35“The lamp of the body is the eye. If therefore your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light. 23But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness!
God bless you! Thanks for your kind words! Talk to you soon after I finish your testimony

B​

 

[Violet24]

dpecheur10, Some words of encouragement for you in the Lord! I know from my own life journey that life has many seasons that we must all walk through. Seasons where we are tested in our faith, and seasons of pure joys where everything seems to be perfect. "Valleys lows" & "mountain top" experiences. I love the scripture that says in..Romans 8:28 And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. If your feeling as if everything in your life is a disaster, and you have no inner peace, just know that with the Lord you can start a brand new beginning today! I don't know if you have fully surrendered your life to the Lord, which is the most important decision you'll ever make in life. If your have given your life to the Lord & feel somehow you have lost your way, just be encouraged that your Heavenly Father has the blue print to your life. He knows the beginning from the end & in Psalms 139: the scripture says the Lord is intimately acquainted with all our ways. Surrendering our lives to the Lord daily is so important, because He is so Trust worthy, He knows the way to the deepest desires of our hearts, and He is eternally faithful in every area of ones life. My encouragement & prayer to you is that you would spend time with the Lord daily, wait & listen for His guidance for your life. Keep your heart close to Him, and He will be faithful to lead your through life victoriously. In Jesus name!

 

[dpecheur10]

Amen.
Thank you very much Violet for taking the time out to offer me this encouragement. I believe wholeheartedly in what you say. I am ready to start that new beginning. I am making that prayer. I am making a renewed effort to keep Christ at the center of my focus and fully embrace His calling and the purpose He has set out for me. Thank you again. I love the support. God bless.

 

[mar09]

Dpecheur,

We thank God that you can share ur struggles, no matter how hard it seems right now. Some here have gone thru some of what u are going thru, and have come out of the deep waters spoken of in Isa. 43. I love the whole chapter, but here are the passages where God comforts His people:

2 When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.

11 I, even I, am the Lord; and beside me there is no saviour.

25 I, even I, am he that blotteth out thy transgressions for mine own sake, and will not remember thy sins...

Ah, i meant to quote ur last post, but missed to... but glad to hear there is no direction and solution to our woes but towards the Lord that will work... God bless.