Maybe i can give you understanding, but if you believe it or not is up to you.
This is the second time im responding to a post were a marriege is in danger, and it shows me "im not married" that it is a hard issue and a decision one has to make with prayer and answer from Jesus Christ.
If you have considered anything in the Bible that Explains the Nature of Sins and the Conditions we live under then you are on the right track, but according to your post it seems that you are not considering any of it. I would be oblidged to write down for you some scriptures that will help you understand your Husband and his Actions. What i will write goes for all Sinners, all Man who were Born from a Mothers Womb. This is not to condemn your Husband or any Man but to explain and give like you asked understanding to the situation everyone has enterd the world in.
Psalm 51:5 Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
1 John 3:8 He who does what is sinful is of the devil, because the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil's work.
For man it seems impossible to change its own nature, with any tools that he can device, wenn man is born, even then he was sinful at birth, and a dark world ruled by Satan has recieved him. These conditions are perfect for a sinner, since the sins of man "please, love, desire...for anything" is being Diktated by himself, by his sins, since childbirth. If you take Gods Laws, Commandmends, live of Jesus Christ and study them you will find that we in our natural sinful state have nothing in Jesus Christ, but have everything in this World.
Its even hard for me to say but to consider that even aa Christian who seems to Sin at this outrages overwhelming manner is the image of Satan, serving Satan, giving heed to demonic spirits and even possessed in a great degree of a Demon. His Mind in Bondage and his Lust and Ideas as his Heart are all contected with the Evil, Demonic Realm, were he is being influenced in such a manner that it may turn out in Physical Abuse if this continues.
Although we are born as sinners in this Hostile Physical and Spiritual Enviroment, once Jesus Christ is in the Mind or Heart of a Sinner and the Sinner screams for help Jesus Christ will then take over and guide each man to repentance, truth, life and light. Its up to the Person for who long he may or may not want to follow Jesus Christ. You husband as a Believer in Jesus Christ has till this day the Opportunity to repent at a steady, peacefull and honest way. But something has happend in him, that he excludes church from his life, distances himself from Jesus Christ and Rightousness and Repantance. To find out wenn it all happend and why at this point i am not sure if it is safe, but him being more of a threat towards all who live under his roof.
Your husband is being controlled by some degree by Evil spirits, and the more time passes the more the Demonic Spirit will take controll of him, if you believe in Satan and Demon, would not your husband be a perfect Host for such spirits? would Satan not delight and take advantage of his state?.
I would leave, and get a divorce, the demon through him might threaten you in all manners and ways, even hurting himself onto death, but dont give in, rather one dies then him and that wich is in him causeing his, yours and maybe your childrens downfall.
You have work to do in Jesus Christ, if you have ever decieded to be a deciple for Jesus Christ and raise your Children up in a Godly Home, Teach them in all Knoweldge of Scipture and Diciplin them then do so now. Leave your Husband and pray, for i Believe in all good Faith the Lord will be with you.