Need some input: Feeling totally mistreated

[Ceph]

hi all,
thank you for your replies.

i wrote this person an email asking for an explanation. i haven't heard back from him.
when things like these happen and people suddenly start replying then i assume that it's
because they decided to drop me. i have experienced this before and it's very sad.
i would feel much better if my assessment was wrong, we will see.

i am also not sure about deliverance ministries. but one thing is sure there's something wrong with me
and i dont know if it's "only" mental. i have tried all kinds of meds over the years and none of them helped
at all.
the suffering is tremendous and it also negatively affects my faith. i am tripping on the spot always struggling
with the same issues. for years my biggest fear has been losing my faith and then getting lost. can you imagine
how awful this feels like?
that is also why i'm scared of reading in the bible cause there are so many scary passages and parables in there
which make me fear losing my salvation or not really being saved in the first place.
i mean i dont feel like i make much progress and then i can always wonder what if I'm simply bad soil?

i have experienced it so many times in the past that i made myself read in the bible and i always ended up scared or
frustrated cause i simply did not understand what it meant and then i think to myself "Should I not automatically be
able to understand the bible as a christian, with the Holy Spirit as helper????" and this creates another conflict in me.
then i worry again and fear what if I'm simply not really saved????

and this then feeds into the whole ocd thing. normal people dont understand what spiritual ocd is like. they have no idea
how bad this is.

i can always wonder "how do i know that my faith is strong enough or pure enough or big enough????"

there are pastors who teach that you can fail to "receive" your salvation if you don't have enough faith. stuff like that is
poison for me.

i can hardly listen to sermons from pastors. i have to be ULTRA selective who i listen to cause most of the pastors preach
a mixed message which totally messes me up. for example if i listened to reformed pastors who scare people and say that
God doesn't have to save you when you ask Him to do it and so on. I used to listen to Paul Washer many years ago and it totally
messed me up. stuff like this is poison for someone like me. it creates such a hopelessness.

IF my faith should not have been enough to get me saved more than 20 years ago then how could it EVER be enough?
I am in a much worse state now. back then i had not been exposed to all these confusing, contradictory teachings which i listened
to over the years.

if i ever had a childlike faith then it has been utterly destroyed by being exposed to harmful doctrines!

Remember that God has power to mold you, to change you for good, and restore light to you.
I know what it's like to be in this kind of trouble, but Gods word is faithful and true, and it is by no means his pleasure that any one of his people who beleive in him are condemned.
Calm down and tune out from all the noise. Jesus is there, with you right now. He hears you and sees you at every present moment.
Whoever asks receives. Whoever seeks finds. To whoever knocks it will be opened.
Don't resist the fact that he is graceful, nor resist the fact that he is merciful, nor resist that his hands are willing to help you live.
It may be difficult at first, but just do your best to walk with hope. A little hope will take you a long way.

 

[candycane7]

hello,

i just wanted to say thanks to all who participated in this thread.

unfortunately i'm in too bad of a shape to even deal with all these different responses.

it's too much to take in and then reply individually to everyone. it's too stressful for me.

i realized that forums aren't helpful for me. there are too many people and everyone suggests

something different and i cannot explain myself to everyone. some suggestions are meant well

but they don't help me at all, like for example "focus on helping others". this doesn't work when

you are overwhelmed with own problems and totally drained of all your energy. for me even writing

about my issues is painful and exhausting.


anyway, thanks for trying to help! you can pray for me, if you feel like it.

 

[Burn1986]

hello,

i just wanted to say thanks to all who participated in this thread.

unfortunately i'm in too bad of a shape to even deal with all these different responses.

it's too much to take in and then reply individually to everyone. it's too stressful for me.

i realized that forums aren't helpful for me. there are too many people and everyone suggests

something different and i cannot explain myself to everyone. some suggestions are meant well

but they don't help me at all, like for example "focus on helping others". this doesn't work when

you are overwhelmed with own problems and totally drained of all your energy. for me even writing

about my issues is painful and exhausting.


anyway, thanks for trying to help! you can pray for me, if you feel like it.

We’re praying for you. I believe God is going to reveal Himself to you, and intervene in your situation. Blaine is also praying

 

[Blain]

We’re praying for you. I believe God is going to reveal Himself to you, and intervene in your situation. Blaine is also praying

Yes and perhaps one day he may return and if so hopefully in a better state than before. I think they got overwhelmed and so it may be best to do a one on one session with them

 

[Burn1986]

Psalm 34:18 -
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted;
he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.

God is close to you and will rescue you. Candy, your situation sounds very dire, but I believe that God will give you a breakthrough and show you what to do and what to pray

 

[homwardbound]

Thank you.

This new walk in love and mercy to all is personal first between God and you. whom we, I do not see today in the flesh and blood, no one else does either, after the Son rose and revealed himself to the disciples. He is risen after was dead for three days first for us the people to believe for new life of Love and mercy to be given to us from Father of risen Son personally, not from others or self, at least to me. I, know I could not see really, until I decided this is between God and me personally first. Who I do not see physically, (John 4:23-24). Then one can really love, otherwise it is of flesh and blood that does not, cannot please God or others ever in eternal love that Father and risen Son Jesus provide. Not until filled in Father's Spirit and Truth for them to love in truth given them from within them by continued belief to see it eventually, mainly between Daddy and you from your soul. Once you decide to believe God personally God seals you to see God's love for us all, to respond to and not create anymore as if are God. Love all, not a few, as I hear from you, want to do and see others not doing that. Has made you angered, I get that, seen it myself, too many times and even in the Churches here on earth too, as I read your post in hurter seeking help.
God loves you personally, Died for you on that cross personally to take away our sinful hurt reactions from troubles here on earth, still happening. Then risen to give you new life in this love and mercy for us all to all, as is not seen clearly from many that are working to get in Heaven and do not want to die.

Go into your own privacy and tell God from within you. What you are saying here, and stop after letting it out and wait to hear truth over errors in this world going on in you and everyone else too. God is perfect, sent Son to save us and given us new thought, None of doubt(s) God does just love you too
Standing in trust to God and not of work Of myself, or anyone else. God whom I do not see physically I trust in as I trust in the air I breathe to keep me alive presently and forever whenever I die physically, spiritually with Father and Son as Won for me and you too

 

[candycane7]

thank you all for your kind words.

i just want to say of course i'd rather just "go to God" without needing any human interference or help, but this has never worked

for me. i mean if i had been able to "experience" God then i would already have done it in all those years. i've been a christian for

over 20 years.

and when you're desperate and dont know what to do then you automatically reach out. and i also really wonder if i might not be

demonically oppressed and need help. but i dont have anyone in real life who could help me with that. and negative experiences

like the one i just made with this person make me even less able to trust other christians. i'd be really worried now of getting messed

up even more.

i havent reached out to christian ministries in a long time and now i remember why i stopped it's because of all the disappointing

negative experiences i made. some of the replies i got were so cold-hearted and even accusatory like "you dont want to get better".

it's like these people throw a few generic advice at you and if you don't directly rejoice and say that they are working for you but

instead tell them that this doesn't work for you and even explain to them why it doesnt work then they simply throw in the towel.


i had also contacted another christian ministry short time prior to contacting the deliverance ministry. this person asked me if

i really wanted to be free and i replied yes but i also explained that i'm worried and think what if i'm not able to maintain my

deliverance? what if for example i got delivered and then i'm on my own and dont know what to do and how to react in case

something happens? these are all things which needed to be considered!

and after that he also lost interest in me and just told me i should join a church. awesome advice!

joining a random church won't help me with my issues at all. chances are high that i'd not even find a church which even believes

in deliverance. then how could they help me?

i'm not sure about deliverance myself. maybe deliverance ministry should not be trusted entirely. but when you're suffering you're

willing to try out stuff. if this guy had turned out to be trustworthy and not just cut me off i'd have tried it even though i would

have been worried that it might not work and that this would harm my faith additionally.

but after this guy cut me off it was clear to me that such a person cannot be trusted.


ask yourself this: would you allow a surgeon to operate on you who becomes annoyed by your questions before the surgery

and then ghosts you?

 

[candycane7]

i also talk to God but i dont even want to get into my problems. i mean God knows all my issues. where is the point of me bringin this

all up in detail? this only drags me down. writing about my stuff here also drags me down it's like poking around in an infested

wound.

i really see no point in talking to God and revolving around my own problems and telling Him every day about how bad everything

is. i try to suppress thinking about these things cause every time i bring them up it just drags me down.

i have been given advice in the past which were also irresponsible in my opinion. one christian who i had written online told me to

get angry at God and scream at Him!

as if this would suddenly force God to do something..... this is really a bad advice.


i wish i needed absolutely nobody and it was just me and God.

 

[Ceph]

i also talk to God but i dont even want to get into my problems. i mean God knows all my issues. where is the point of me bringin this

all up in detail? this only drags me down. writing about my stuff here also drags me down it's like poking around in an infested

wound.

i really see no point in talking to God and revolving around my own problems and telling Him every day about how bad everything

is. i try to suppress thinking about these things cause every time i bring them up it just drags me down.

i have been given advice in the past which were also irresponsible in my opinion. one christian who i had written online told me to

get angry at God and scream at Him!

as if this would suddenly force God to do something..... this is really a bad advice.


i wish i needed absolutely nobody and it was just me and God.

You understand the meaning of the parables Jesus speaks, yeah? You are already blessed for understanding these things.
Now understand these parts of Ezekiel 37:
1-15—The LORD’s hand was on me, and he brought me out in the LORD’s Spirit, and set me down in the middle of the valley; and it was full of bones. He caused me to pass by them all around; and behold, there were very many in the open valley, and behold, they were very dry. He said to me, “Son of man, can these bones live?”
I answered, “Lord GOD, you know.”
Again he said to me, “Prophesy over these bones, and tell them, ‘You dry bones, hear the LORD’s word. The Lord GOD says to these bones: “Behold, I will cause breath to enter into you, and you will live. I will lay sinews on you, and will bring up flesh on you, and cover you with skin, and put breath in you, and you will live. Then you will know that I am the LORD.” ’ ”
So I prophesied as I was commanded. As I prophesied, there was a noise, and behold, there was an earthquake. Then the bones came together, bone to its bone. I saw, and, behold, there were sinews on them, and flesh came up, and skin covered them above; but there was no breath in them.
Then he said to me, “Prophesy to the wind, prophesy, son of man, and tell the wind, ‘The Lord GOD says: “Come from the four winds, breath, and breathe on these slain, that they may live.” ’ ”
So I prophesied as he commanded me, and the breath came into them, and they lived, and stood up on their feet, an exceedingly great army.
Then he said to me, “Son of man, these bones are the whole house of Israel. Behold, they say, ‘Our bones are dried up, and our hope is lost. We are completely cut off.’ Therefore prophesy, and tell them, ‘The Lord GOD says: “Behold, I will open your graves, and cause you to come up out of your graves, my people; and I will bring you into the land of Israel. You will know that I am the LORD, when I have opened your graves and caused you to come up out of your graves, my people. I will put my Spirit in you, and you will live. Then I will place you in your own land; and you will know that I, the LORD, have spoken it and performed it,” says the LORD.’ ”
and 21-23
Say to them, ‘The Lord GOD says: “Behold, I will take the children of Israel from among the nations where they have gone, and will gather them on every side, and bring them into their own land. I will make them one nation in the land, on the mountains of Israel. One king will be king to them all. They will no longer be two nations. They won’t be divided into two kingdoms any more at all. They won’t defile themselves any more with their idols, nor with their detestable things, nor with any of their transgressions; but I will save them out of all their dwelling places in which they have sinned, and will cleanse them. So they will be my people, and I will be their God."

and 1 Enoch 96:3
"So do not fear, you that have suffered, for healing will be your portion, and a bright light will enlighten you, and you will hear the voice of rest from heaven.

Are you also aware that these are the end times? Know that the passages I just posted pertain to it.

Do you have any other Gods before Jesus/Jehova?
Do you worship any graven images?
Do you openly misuse the name of God?
Are you a murderer?
are you an adulterer?
Are you a theif or covetous?
Do you do anything to actively dishonor the law of God?
If not, his mercy is more than open to you.
You may just have to wait.

 

[Ceph]

Mesure yourself, after reading to the very end; see how this word is being fulfilled before your very eyes, right in your very body?:
“ ‘ “For I will take you from among the nations and gather you out of all the countries, and will bring you into your own land. I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean. I will cleanse you from all your filthiness and from all your idols. I will also give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit within you. I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you a heart of flesh. I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes. You will keep my ordinances and do them. You will dwell in the land that I gave to your fathers. You will be my people, and I will be your God. I will save you from all your uncleanness. I will call for the grain and will multiply it, and lay no famine on you. I will multiply the fruit of the tree and the increase of the field, that you may receive no more the reproach of famine among the nations.
" ‘ “Then you will remember your evil ways, and your deeds that were not good; and you will loathe yourselves in your own sight for your iniquities and for your abominations. I don’t do this for your sake,” says the Lord GOD. “Let it be known to you. Be ashamed and confounded for your ways, house of Israel.”
“ ‘The Lord GOD says: “In the day that I cleanse you from all your iniquities, I will cause the cities to be inhabited and the waste places will be built. The land that was desolate will be tilled instead of being a desolation in the sight of all who passed by. They will say, ‘This land that was desolate has become like the garden of Eden. The waste, desolate, and ruined cities are fortified and inhabited.’ Then the nations that are left around you will know that I, the LORD, have built the ruined places and planted that which was desolate. I, the LORD, have spoken it, and I will do it.”
“ ‘The Lord GOD says: “For this, moreover, I will be inquired of by the house of Israel, to do it for them: I will increase them with men like a flock. As the flock for sacrifice, as the flock of Jerusalem in her appointed feasts, so the waste cities will be filled with flocks of men. Then they will know that I am the LORD.’ ”

As for those minisers who mistreat and give up on you:

The LORD’s word came to me, saying, “Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel. Prophesy, and tell them, even the shepherds, ‘The Lord GOD says: “Woe to the shepherds of Israel who feed themselves! Shouldn’t the shepherds feed the sheep? You eat the fat. You clothe yourself with the wool. You kill the fatlings, but you don’t feed the sheep. You haven’t strengthened the diseased. You haven’t healed that which was sick. You haven’t bound up that which was broken. You haven’t brought back that which was driven away. You haven’t sought that which was lost, but you have ruled over them with force and with rigor. They were scattered, because there was no shepherd. They became food to all the animals of the field, and were scattered. My sheep wandered through all the mountains and on every high hill. Yes, my sheep were scattered on all the surface of the earth. There was no one who searched or sought.”
“ ‘Therefore, you shepherds, hear the LORD’s word: “As I live,” says the Lord GOD, “surely because my sheep became a prey, and my sheep became food to all the animals of the field, because there was no shepherd, and my shepherds didn’t search for my sheep, but the shepherds fed themselves, and didn’t feed my sheep, therefore, you shepherds, hear the LORD’s word!” The Lord GOD says: “Behold, I am against the shepherds. I will require my sheep at their hand, and cause them to cease from feeding the sheep. The shepherds won’t feed themselves any more. I will deliver my sheep from their mouth, that they may not be food for them.”
“ ‘For the Lord GOD says: “Behold, I myself, even I, will search for my sheep, and will seek them out. As a shepherd seeks out his flock in the day that he is among his sheep that are scattered abroad, so I will seek out my sheep. I will deliver them out of all places where they have been scattered in the cloudy and dark day. I will bring them out from the peoples, and gather them from the countries, and will bring them into their own land. I will feed them on the mountains of Israel, by the watercourses, and in all the inhabited places of the country. I will feed them with good pasture, and their fold will be on the mountains of the height of Israel. There they will lie down in a good fold. They will feed on rich pasture on the mountains of Israel. I myself will be the shepherd of my sheep, and I will cause them to lie down,” says the Lord GOD. “I will seek that which was lost, and will bring back that which was driven away, and will bind up that which was broken, and will strengthen that which was sick; but I will destroy the fat and the strong. I will feed them in justice.” ’
“As for you, O my flock, the Lord GOD says: ‘Behold, I judge between sheep and sheep, the rams and the male goats. Does it seem a small thing to you to have fed on the good pasture, but you must tread down with your feet the residue of your pasture? And to have drunk of the clear waters, but must you foul the residue with your feet? As for my sheep, they eat that which you have trodden with your feet, and they drink that which you have fouled with your feet.’
“Therefore the Lord GOD says to them: ‘Behold, I, even I, will judge between the fat sheep and the lean sheep. Because you thrust with side and with shoulder, and push all the diseased with your horns, until you have scattered them abroad, therefore I will save my flock, and they will no more be a prey. I will judge between sheep and sheep. I will set up one shepherd over them, and he will feed them, even my servant David. He will feed them, and he will be their shepherd. I, the LORD, will be their God, and my servant David prince among them. I, the LORD, have spoken it.

“ ‘I will make with them a covenant of peace, and will cause evil animals to cease out of the land. They will dwell securely in the wilderness and sleep in the woods. I will make them and the places around my hill a blessing. I will cause the shower to come down in its season. There will be showers of blessing. The tree of the field will yield its fruit, and the earth will yield its increase, and they will be secure in their land. Then they will know that I am the LORD, when I have broken the bars of their yoke, and have delivered them out of the hand of those who made slaves of them. They will no more be a prey to the nations, neither will the animals of the earth devour them; but they will dwell securely, and no one will make them afraid. I will raise up to them a plantation for renown, and they will no more be consumed with famine in the land, and not bear the shame of the nations any more. They will know that I, the LORD, their God am with them, and that they, the house of Israel, are my people, says the Lord GOD. You my sheep, the sheep of my pasture, are men, and I am your God,’ says the Lord GOD.”

 

[Ceph]

And now, remember some of the first words preached by Jesus:
“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
for they shall be comforted.
Blessed are the gentle,
for they shall inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they shall be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
for they shall obtain mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they shall see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they shall be called children of God.
Blessed are those who have been persecuted for righteousness’ sake,
for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven."

 

[Psalm1]

i also talk to God but i dont even want to get into my problems. i mean God knows all my issues. where is the point of me bringin this

all up in detail? this only drags me down. writing about my stuff here also drags me down it's like poking around in an infested

wound.

i really see no point in talking to God and revolving around my own problems and telling Him every day about how bad everything

is. i try to suppress thinking about these things cause every time i bring them up it just drags me down.

i have been given advice in the past which were also irresponsible in my opinion. one christian who i had written online told me to

get angry at God and scream at Him!

as if this would suddenly force God to do something..... this is really a bad advice.


i wish i needed absolutely nobody and it was just me and God.

You are getting a lot of advice from too many angles.
Most here do not walk in the spirit.
Your situation is spiritual, but your walking mentally.

The way to be free is in the spirit.
The reason the bible makes it worse is because you need more of God.
Deliverance needs to be , like you say, from people that love you.

Look up John breveres book, " the bait of satan"
It deals with what is torpedoing you.
"Offences"
When we get offended, we enter the realm of the enemy.

Remember, Jesus said " my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."
You need the refreshing of Heaven."

Listen to this about 100 times

 

[Snackersmom]

Hi candycane!

I'm hesitant to post because I don't want to give you more input unless it will be helpful. But I do have a few observations, and I have struggled with some of the same issues.

I think your childhood/upbringing is affecting your ability to see God properly. You seem very conscientious, which is great but can be taken too far. Did you have a parent who was impossible to please, blamed you for everything and just in general acted like you never met their expectations? I have read that we tend see God the same way we see our more dominant parent. Humans will never live up to the character of God but some come closer than others.

If that sounds familiar please respond and I'll have more advice! Best!

 

[ThereRoseaLamb]

Hi candycane!

I'm hesitant to post because I don't want to give you more input unless it will be helpful. But I do have a few observations, and I have struggled with some of the same issues.

I think your childhood/upbringing is affecting your ability to see God properly. You seem very conscientious, which is great but can be taken too far. Did you have a parent who was impossible to please, blamed you for everything and just in general acted like you never met their expectations? I have read that we tend see God the same way we see our more dominant parent. Humans will never live up to the character of God but some come closer than others.

If that sounds familiar please respond and I'll have more advice! Best!

This is the best advice and insight I have read in this thread so far.

 

[ThereRoseaLamb]

Hi,

I am VERY upset and offended and to be honest also speechless.

You have a right to be. The problem is there are a lot of "ministries" self proclaimed but that doesn't mean anything. Honestly, they might not even be saved. Sorry. People like to take advantage of others, especially if they think that person is weak. Maybe they wanted to help, maybe they didn't, but they need to knock it off. Either be dedicated to helping others or leave them alone. I'm sorry you were left high and dry by whoever these people are. It was wrong.

I described that I suffer from doubts and anxiety and that I have been

having this for many many years and that I am also very dissatisfied because unlike these christians who appear in their

testimony videos which they show on youtube I am not able to experience God, which drags me down.

Then I wonder what's wrong with me? Why do other people see Jesus or hear God or simply

experience God in supernatural ways and I don't?
This is really dragging me down. Because of this watching these testimonies is also hurtful to me.

Well... I would be careful of the truth of Youtube videos. Your anxiety is possibly keeping you from experiencing God. Maybe. But maybe you have and you don't recognize it. Have you ever looked at a beautiful sunset and were just in awe? That's a form of experiencing God. I love to be by the water, it calms me and lets me think. I feel more connected to God outdoors. Maybe God for you is more like a whisper, like the wind. Not everyone feels and experiences God in the same way.

The person also made a few suggestions, like I should study the bible every day. To that I replied

that one of my problems is that

I am also scared of reading in the bible (yes, I know this sounds weird) cause every time when I

come across a verse which scares me, like

for example the many parables of the lazy servant or the bad soil, then I ALWAYS become

afraid and start to worry if this could be applying to me. To me it really makes no sense to read in the

bible if the result is ALWAYS that I feel bad afterwards.
.

“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

So if Jesus isn't condemning you, who is? That's Satan's job. He tries to discourage us. If he can do that He can turn us from God, He makes us doubt our salvation, the goodness of God, His mercy and forgiveness. So the next time you read the Bible hold that verse in your hand. When you start fear, recognize that's not of God. Rebuke the devil and keep reading. The closer you get to Jesus, the more your anxiety will fade away.

But simply cutting a hurting person off is absolutely sick and twisted, is it not?????
You cannot imagine how much this messes with my mind! I am so angry and also hurt.

I just keep thinking and wondering how on earth can

a person be a christian and at the same time be SO mean and inconsiderate?

I feel totally mistreated.

I have a friend that is my sisters age. I've known her for many years but I live a long way from her. She is deaf, she has two young teen girls. She has been used and abused, and my guess is men have taken advantage of her. She has a lot of issues and she posts them on Facebook then gets hurt when people give her advice. I'm very careful of what I say to her. People love to give advice but that doesn't mean it's good advice or the right advice for you. The most I can say is, "I don't know the answer, can I pray with/for you so God will reveal it to you?"

I even wonder what if God is like this guy? What if God feels like I'm a totally hopeless case, too?

This is just AWFUL!

Here's where the good news comes in, God has never met a hopeless case. God only has good plans for you. There is no such thing as hopeless with God.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

“Then you will know that I am the Lord; those who hope in me will not be disappointed.”

Somebody PLEASE tell me:

I am becoming so disillusioned cause I have made similar experiences many times now with "ministries".

At first the people are like "We want to help you" and then you quickly notice that they become frustrated and

then just give up.

It's like they don't REALLY want to help, or at least not if it requires effort on their part.

I understand, I think people mean well, perhaps, but they don't carry through. And that hurts people. I had a time where I lost several family members at once. And people at church said " call if you need anything". And after going through that I realized it should be "can I call you to see what you need or how I can help?" See people feel like they have "done something" when they offer help. Very few people will actually help.

I couldn't find anything online indicating that he or his ministry are fake.

It's not something I would put my trust in. But I want to see a person eyeball to eyeball, that's just me. And even then, I'm not trusting them right off the bat. lol But that's me. I know it's hard, but have you found a church to attend? Sometimes it helps to be around other believers. I hope you find help for your situation. Blessings.

 

[Psalm1]

If I may be so bold as to tell you there is no such thing As a deliverance ministry. You will not find such a ministry in the Bible.
Yes demons were cast out and so forth in the Bible but you will not find a ministry strictly for deliverance.
It may be oppression which is quite common for Christians to experience.
The Holy Spirit convicts.....Satan and his minions condemn. That's the difference.
Be truthful before God in your prayers on how you feel and ask of him to do that which you seek.

I just shake my head at such ignorance.
I have cast out a number of demons from people.
That in itself is deliverance ministry.
A minister of Jesus casting out demons.

 

[ThereRoseaLamb]

I just shake my head at such ignorance.
I have cast out a number of demons from people.
That in itself is deliverance ministry.
A minister of Jesus casting out demons.

A missionary friend of mine once told me a story. Several preachers had decided to meet to pray for a man they believed might be possessed. They agreed to fast and pray then meet the next morning and pray over this man. When they met the next day to pray over the man, he looked at one of the preachers and said " I see porridge in your stomach!!" Yikes! I don't recall how it all came out but people can definitely be possessed. Although I don't see in Scripture where a Christian can be possessed. Oppressed but not possessed.

 

[Psalm1]

Hi,

I am not sure if this forum section is right for this topic or not.

I try to make this short.

I am VERY upset and offended and to be honest also speechless.

What happened is this:

I decided to contact a deliverance ministry which has videos on youtube. I approached them with some

questions and issues which I struggle with. I described that I suffer from doubts and anxiety and that I have been

having this for many many years and that I am also very dissatisfied because unlike these christians who appear in their

testimony videos which they show on youtube I am not able to experience God, which drags me down.

Then I wonder what's wrong with me? Why do other people see Jesus or hear God or simply

experience God in supernatural ways and I don't?

This is really dragging me down. Because of this watching these testimonies is also hurtful to me.

Anyway, that's what I basically described in my first email.

Then I got a reply indicating that I might require deliverance and that they would offer it to me for free.

The person also made a few suggestions, like I should study the bible every day. To that I replied

that one of my problems is that

I am also scared of reading in the bible (yes, I know this sounds weird) cause every time when I

come across a verse which scares me, like

for example the many parables of the lazy servant or the bad soil, then I ALWAYS become

afraid and start to worry if this could be applying to me. To me it really makes no sense to read in the

bible if the result is ALWAYS that I feel bad afterwards.


I tried to describe to this person that I cannot "just read the bible".

For me reading the bible usually leads to frustration. This is why I don't really

get into it. The "best" I can do is listen to sermons from grace preachers, which I can tolerate.

Anything else only messes me up.


I was basically starting to build up some trust with this deliverance person.

I also explained that I'm scared of being alone and that I have made

the experience many times that I went to a minister for help either in person or via internet or phone and that

this person made a few suggestions

and then I was on my own again and if his "advice" didn't work for me then I'd be alone again.


But now here comes the REALLY disturbing part.

After 2 or 3 emails back and forth this person simply cut me off! He simply stopped replying alltogether.

HOW SICK AND MEAN IS THIS? Seriously, I am just speechless.

I mean even if this guy realized that I'm "too complicated" then could he not at least tell me this

and wish me well just to show me that he

actually gives a damn?

But simply cutting a hurting person off is absolutely sick and twisted, is it not?????


You cannot imagine how much this messes with my mind! I am so angry and also hurt.

I just keep thinking and wondering how on earth can

a person be a christian and at the same time be SO mean and inconsiderate?

I feel totally mistreated.

This is like a doctor opening up an infested wound only to look at it and then do nothing else and then close it again.

This feels exactly the same.


My whole exchange with this person has ONLY caused me more pain and grief.

1) I had to describe my struggles, which is already painful cause I bring up all this stuff

2) He didn't offer ANY help or comfort

3) He cut me off and made me feel like dirt or like a totally hopeless case


I even wonder what if God is like this guy? What if God feels like I'm a totally hopeless case, too?

This is just AWFUL!



Somebody PLEASE tell me:

Is this just me? Am I overreacting?

Or is acting like this simply evil?

I am becoming so disillusioned cause I have made similar experiences many times now with "ministries".

At first the people are like "We want to help you" and then you quickly notice that they become frustrated and

then just give up.

It's like they don't REALLY want to help, or at least not if it requires effort on their part.


I don't think I will ever contact any ministry again.

Being disappointed in such a way totally messes with my mind.

It makes me become really bitter and resentful which is not good at all. I still feel so angry at this person.

I wish this guy was a fake then at least I knew he's not a real christian.

This would explain him acting in such a cold manner, but I don't think

he's a fake. I couldn't find anything online indicating that he or his ministry are fake.

Most of the advice you are receiving is corrective behavior.

Behavior is an INDIRECT symptom of a spiritual dynamic.

Once your spirit is healed, the "correct " behavior follows.
Something is making you feel what you are feeling.
Most everything you are relating is in the realm of emotions.

I had your exact same situation.
Hurt and blaming others for that hurt.
Yes..they hurt you.
Yes ...they were nasty to you.
Yes...we would NATURALLY BE OFFENDED.

ok..so what about the next people that do that to you
...and then the next people that do that to you?

See what I mean?

The point is, God wants you so intimate with him that those peoples offences bounce off.
Now you are free.
Nobody can hurt you.

You have to have 2 things going on.
1) your secret place in God. Where his love rules, and the love for those people that do you wrong, OVERRIDES your emotions to ACCEPT offence.
2) your natural day to day life of work and chores...etc.

Be ruled by the refreshing and presence of God.
Run to him and cast off every offence that wants to stick on you and slime you.
Love people.
It starts with confession.
Say you love that minister.
Send him an offering and bless him.

Watch your spirit soar.
Let the wind of that forgiveness and your newfound love for your enemies fill your sails and take you a million miles.

 

[Psalm1]

A missionary friend of mine once told me a story. Several preachers had decided to meet to pray for a man they believed might be possessed. They agreed to fast and pray then meet the next morning and pray over this man. When they met the next day to pray over the man, he looked at one of the preachers and said " I see porridge in your stomach!!" Yikes! I don't recall how it all came out but people can definitely be possessed. Although I don't see in Scripture where a Christian can be possessed. Oppressed but not possessed.

On one occasion a demon came out if a believer.

I think, like you say ,he was oppressed and not possessed.

The thing looked like a monkey.
It left him and went to the corner of the room.
I then cast that sorry thing out of his house.

I had him come live upstairs to help him for a couple years. He did well after being free, but I had to guide him on how to stay free.

 

[candycane7]

hi everyone,

thank you all for your replies. i dont think i can reply to all of the different things said in detail.

@ elohim

yes, i believe we should be close to the end, when looking at the world. if i knew that the rapture happened
in the near future then i just could sit it out. then even looking for help or "deliverance" wouldnt make much of a difference.
but what if the rapture is still many years out? i dont even want to think about it cause i don't think that i could go on for
much longer without losing my mind. things are becoming more and more unbearable.

>You understand the meaning of the parables Jesus speaks, yeah? You are already blessed for understanding these things.<

no i'm not sure how to interpret them. some christians take the parables and interpret them in a way that Jesus is talking about
salvation, other christians interpret them differently. for me the parables have always been scary. i read them and directly think
what if this applies to me? what if i'm a lazy servant or what if i'm bad soil where the seed cannot really grow because of all the
worries in this life? my spiritual progress has strongly been halted by my mental struggles. there's no doubt about that.
for over 20 years i've been tripping on the spot struggling with exactly the same issues. this is VERY depressing when at the same
time other christians make progress in life and i'm not making progress. then i also worry what if God is going to hold this against
me or blame me for not "overcoming" my issues?

@ psalm 1

this is EXACTLY what i'd wish for myself. i wish i felt so safe and secure that other people/christians could not even offend me!
to me it's depressing cause i sense how vulnerable i am to being offended. i hate being this way. it shows me how vulnerable i am.
but i really cannot do anything about this. it has always been this way.
the only thing i can do is pray to God to just change me. i already do this! BUT i see no improvement.
every time something like this happens my reaction is the same. the vulnerability is still there and that's why i still react the same
way. it's really frustrating. i am powerless to do anything about this.

i cannot make myself "stronger" or "less vulnerable" where every kind of offence simply bounces off. i wish i was like that. i wish none of these things could affect me. i wish i could just brush this off or simply give people the benefit of a doubt and think "maybe he just had a bad day" and then move on. i so wish i could just be like that. this would make life much easier. i hate dealing with being offended. it negatively affects me. i'm the one who has to deal with the resulting anger and the bitterness. i really dont want to be like that.


@ snackersmom

what you say is very well possible. i also considered this. BUT even if i could find a "root cause" then this wouldn't change anything.
even if i could identify that something in the past messed me up then this wouldn't make the damage undone.
it's not like a time machine where you go back in time and fix the issue and then it's all good and the present is totally changed.
whatever went wrong with me it still affects me and it doesn't get better over time. not at all.
genetics also play a role. other people in my family have also suffered from depression and anxiety so that's definitely an issue, too.


@ thererosealamb

thank you. it's already a relief when other people at least share my perception and tell me that they'd also have been upset.
otherwise, if nobody shared my view, i'd start doubting myself and think i'm simply crazy or totally delusional. if i cannot trust
my perception then what can i trust? then i'd have no basis at all and would have to constantly doubt everything i think/feel.


>Your anxiety is possibly keeping you from experiencing God. Maybe. But maybe you have and you don't recognize it. Have you ever looked at a beautiful sunset and were just in awe?<

yes, i can be in awe when i see something great. but this isn't the same as experiencing God personally. i mean looking at a beautiful
sunset doesn't have the same effects which a real encounter with God would have.
my hope has always been that if i could somehow experience God then i'd be free form my struggles cause this would be such a
groundbreaking experience which would change everything. i also think that in order for me to be whole i'd need a miracle.
this is simply something which nobody can do. neither a pastor nor a psychologist.
helpful people could help me and make me feel
better or enable me to cope better, but there is just no way that i could be made whole. this has always been clear to me. that
is also why i desired to experience God so much in the past and tried out different churches and went to ministers for prayer cause
i always hoped that something groundbreaking would happen, but it did not. and i dont know why.

then i think to myself what if this is my fault? i mean if God wants to help and if it's not God's will for me to suffer then why did nothing ever happen? then the only explanation left is that it's my fault cause i lacked the necessary faith!
and this again makes me feel hopeless cause then i think what if God wants to help me so badly but He just cannot cause i lack the
necessary faith????

then i'd be in an absolutely hopeless situation. this is how i have been feeling for a long time.

i mean if God requires faith in order to do something and the person simply doesn't have the necessary faith then what's left to do?
i was also exposed to charismatic stuff and word of faith stuff which was very damaging to me. they emphasize the necessity of
having faith and not doubting so much. it makes me feel like being in a hamster wheel.
i was also given advice like "you need to proclaim bible verses this will build up your faith" but this doesn't even touch on the
issues i struggle with. i can proclaim bible verses all day long and still feel miserable cause none of my questions are answered
by this. i simply have so many "technical" questions about faith and receiving and all that which NOBODY even adresses and that's
simply because normal people do not struggle with thigns like that. They don't even think about it OR if they do then they only
start thinking about these problems if they ever get in a situation where they are suddenly confronted with them, for example
when they are sick and need healing and then they're confronted with doubts or anxieties and then they start wondering
"did my doubts just ruin my answer? it's it over now?"
for me it doesn't even make sense to pray UNLESS i know how to behave if i get doubts or anxiety. if i do NOT know how to
react then it makes no sense to even start.


>I understand, I think people mean well, perhaps, but they don't carry through. And that hurts people.<

Absolutely correct. They dont even seem to realize how much harm they cause. it's like they just throw their stuff at you and
if it doesn't help you then they just give up. then they should better not even "tried to help" in the first place.