Hey Randwulf, I'm sorry to hear that you're going through some tough times. I can say from experience that I've known what it is like to be sitting in the middle of a room full of people and feel totally alone. There will always be "dark nights of the soul," but there is one thing that you have. That is Christ. (I know it sounds Cliche
But it really is true.
A story is told of Andrew Murray who was getting on in years and crossing the road in Capetown, South Africa. (This is a major paraphrase but hopefully you get the point) Part way across the road, one bystander noticed, that Mr Murray stopped mid way and stood there motionless, waiting. After some time he abruptly continued across the road. When the bystander was close enough he asked Andrew Murray why he had stopped half way across the road and just stood waiting? Mr Murray replied (with a little embarrassment perhaps?), Did you see that? Oh well, you see; I have come to the place in my walk with the Lord that I sense his presence at all times. If ever that changes and I don't have that sense that the Lord is present with me, I stop everything and wait until I do.
I have read some of his writings. He was a man who needed to know his Lord. I have appreciated that story and the encouragement of his writings. I have located some free online sources for a couple of his book that may give you some encouragement.
Abiding Presence
Abide in Christ
I also found this Audio Narration of another book if you prefer:
The Masters Indwelling
I also am beginning to learn the ever present presence of Christ with me always. It has come through difficult and empty times, though I'm only just beginning to know him more.
All the best.