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Hello @Newcreation, and welcome to CChat! We're glad that you found us and joined in the discussions with us :) I also hope that you find everything that you are looking for here (and more) starting with the support and guidance that you came here seeking.

God bless you!!

~Deuteronomy

1 Thessalonians 5
23 May the God of peace Himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body
be preserved complete, without blame at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.
24 Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass.
​
 
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ccwelcome6s.png

Welcome!
:)
 
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My daughter of 33 just told me that my husband her stepdad And she had an inappropriate relationship in her teens. He got saved in 2010 and we have done many years of counseling because of affairs from 15 years ago. I am floored . I don’t know what to do with the flood of emotions I have .
Our counselor , pastor, husband and daughter have known all this time. I guess they all agreed that it was up to my daughter to be ready to share. So I have been in the dark. I had no idea
 
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I have never stopped going to counseling so I am back on the regular schedule.
I have spent the last 13 years rebuilding the marriage . For what now is a mess .
I am glad she had the courage to to unburden herself , she said she felt better now telling me .
I however don’t know how to live with it
 
Newcreation said:
I have never stopped going to counseling so I am back on the regular schedule.
I have spent the last 13 years rebuilding the marriage . For what now is a mess .
I am glad she had the courage to to unburden herself , she said she felt better now telling me .
I however don’t know how to live with it
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WOW Sister, I don't have any idea how I would either (learn to live with it, that is), so I have no advice to give you (other than to continue on with counseling, which you said you are doing).

I can pray for you however, so I will do that.

God bless you!!

~Deuteronomy
 
Welcome to CC 'Newcreation' and I think you picked the perfect name!!! Unfortunately this is a common thing and lust can have it's way w/those that aren't 100% committed. Your daughter may have carried the shame for this and finally had the courtesy of telling you. Does she seem repentant and sincere in her confession to you?
I have been around and this is not an uncommon thing. What I would do is to go to the Lord, ask Him for help and really you need to ask yourself is your daughter worth forgiving? Has your hubby been a good husband since this ended.....these things you need to take your time with. You deserve joy, peace, honesty, etc and I would go before the Lord and praise and worship Him for His love for you. Expect Him to help and guide and HE will! God bless you and your family🙏🙏🙏
 
God has been faithful and my husband takes full responsibility. It appears he and she have talked about it over the years and he agreed at the recommendation of pastor and counselor to wait until she was ready.
I have learned from years of counseling that asking questions you don’t really want to hear is not helpful.
I know he is different and I know she and he have lived with the guilt and shame all these years . It’s me who is not sure what to do with ir. I trust God but am struggling . My husband moved to another bedroom and offered to leave . I have watched his transformation over the last 13 years . However today all I see makes me want to be sick
 
He did the 12 steps years ago and has worked to make amends. In 2008 we started the process of rebuilding and I quit asking questions and focused on growing in the Lord and healing .
He said he has been a terrible man , I guess I didn’t have any idea how terrible and what I was forgiving.
All your prayers are needed and I work to overcome another day
 
Newcreation said:
Yes. Please I need all the prayers and Gods intervention. I want to run screaming into the abyss.
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I'll run this by my senior pastor to see how he would handle it/see what advice he would give you if he was the one counseling you (if that's ok with you, that is?), and I'll be sure to come back and tell you what he says (especially if I think that you may find it useful/helpful).

Beyond that, I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this :(

Praying for you..............

God bless you!!

~Deuteronomy
p.s. - if you do not want me to do so (talk to my pastor, that is), no worries, just let me know.
 
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Yes please. . I am also talking with my pastor who knew what happened. He said he was so very sorry and that he had prayed they would tell me sooner. This took longer than he thought. .
He knows God has a plan and that my faith is stronger now. He baptized my husband and daughters . He has been our pastor through everything . I don’t feel very strong right now. I am leaning into God as I am broken and confused .
 
Newcreation said:
He did the 12 steps years ago and has worked to make amends. In 2008 we started the process of rebuilding and I quit asking questions and focused on growing in the Lord and healing .
He said he has been a terrible man , I guess I didn’t have any idea how terrible and what I was forgiving.
All your prayers are needed and I work to overcome another day
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I know it's so hard but remember us people are imperfect and some a lot weaker than others. Regardless, keep your awareness that you are a child of God and He is a faithful Father who is for you and sees all.
“Blessed [with spiritual security] is the man who believes and trusts in and relies on the LORD And whose hope and confident expectation is the LORD", Jer 17:7.
Also, cast these cares on Him, give them to Him and He will give you peace. Then be led by the Spirit and remember God is love❣
 
Newcreation said:
I however don’t know how to live with it
...Yes. Please I need all the prayers and Gods intervention. I want to run screaming into the abyss ....I trust God but am struggling...I am leaning into God as I am broken and confused ....Amen.
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Precious friend, A Very Warm Welcome To Chat.
I will also pray for you - hope this will also be helpful:

GRACE Word For our infirmities!

Please Be Very RICHLY Encouraged And Edified In
The LORD JESUS CHRIST, And His Word Of Truth, Rightly
Divided (+ I and II). ← PG Rated "Approved" *

Grace, Peace, And JOY!… + RICH Blessings ♫ 😇 ↑

* PG = Perfect God / Parental Guidance:

Study to Be APPROVED Open Bible.png
 
Deuteronomy said:
I'll run this by my senior pastor to see how he would handle it/see what advice he would give you if he was the one counseling you (if that's ok with you, that is?), and I'll be sure to come back and tell you what he says (especially if I think that you may find it useful/helpful).

Beyond that, I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this :(

Praying for you..............

God bless you!!

~Deuteronomy
p.s. - if you do not want me to do so (talk to my pastor, that is), no worries, just let me know.
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I want to thank you all for your prayers. It has been nearly 2 months since I was told the terrible news. My older daughter and I are having conversation and trying to heal and move forward . My youngest daughter is just angry and blames me for all that is wrong in her life. I am very sad for her but have given her to God. She does not want to communicate . I am seeing my counselor for the third time to gain some perspective . I pray Gods will and to heal my family. This is so terrible hurtful.
 
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