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GodsGraceAlone

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Well, I hardly know what I am doing, but we are an older couple, and I have never gone onto a site like this before, not sure what or how much to say. Am I able to 'reach out' in honesty to other Christian older women with similar problems? I think I will try. My husband is an advanced Parkinson's patient....and it is scary. I am the only person to care for him, he has few friends and is from another country originally. I have three natural children, all living in other states, married with families and not professing Christians. They look on him as a STEP-parent and show little regard for what he is experiencing, and the pressure I am under. I don't want to complain, but its a lonely ride I am on here, even as a Christian. I KNOW there are thousands of Parkinson's patients, but I hardly know any caretakers and we live in a rural area. I pray a lot and it helps me through the loneliness and long nights when I cannot sleep or unwind. Last October on my birthday I was driving home, about 35-40 miles to go; when I felt a 'sensation' going down the right-hand side of my body. I was alone and I knew instinctively I was having a stroke. I pulled to the side of the road to think of what to do. I was out in the country with few houses. Praying for God to guide me, I decided to continue home with my 'good arm', and today I KNOW it was a stupid decision.... Somehow I made it, but when I 'wobbled' into my driveway, my husband was standing in the yard and he said I was 'driving all over the road' as he watched me. All I could do was say, "call an ambulance....I'm having a stroke or heart attack". I remember little after that. They started me in an ambulance but called for a helicopter because they said "(you) were fading fast". I barely remember landing on the roof, rolled into ICU and whatever happened in the next 12 hours. But I was praying, and I remember praying, "God, you know what is best, but what will become of my husband if I go now?" That was the only prayer I remembered. The next day I woke up in ICU with my room buzzing with people, prodding, asking questions, and discovered the stroke had reversed itself, and what was 'dead' flesh was "reversed" and the right side was close to normal again. Everyone was amazed at what was happening on the monitors.....but I knew God had touched my body. A week later blood poisoning set in in my right foot and I've never experienced such pain in my life. It took weeks, but the clot in my toes finally were dissolved and I am now able to walk on the foot most of the time. I think God left this left foot as a 'reminder' of where I was and where He brought me from and to!!! PTL That is my testimony in a paragraph. But I am in my mid-70s and my husband is advancing fast in the Parkinson's lane and I trust God to bring me through this, but it is such a lonely road, and I am having such a hard time keeping my chin up.... as we say in the SouthLand! I know the answer, but I want to ask the question anyway....."is there anybody out there? that has walked this road before me?"
 
Welcome to CC! Your chat name says it all :). I am amazed afresh by God's wonderful grace when reading your testimony. I hope you find the support you seek!
 
GodsGraceAlone said:
Well, I hardly know what I am doing, but we are an older couple, and I have never gone onto a site like this before, not sure what or how much to say. Am I able to 'reach out' in honesty to other Christian older women with similar problems? I think I will try. My husband is an advanced Parkinson's patient....and it is scary. I am the only person to care for him, he has few friends and is from another country originally. I have three natural children, all living in other states, married with families and not professing Christians. They look on him as a STEP-parent and show little regard for what he is experiencing, and the pressure I am under. I don't want to complain, but its a lonely ride I am on here, even as a Christian. I KNOW there are thousands of Parkinson's patients, but I hardly know any caretakers and we live in a rural area. I pray a lot and it helps me through the loneliness and long nights when I cannot sleep or unwind. Last October on my birthday I was driving home, about 35-40 miles to go; when I felt a 'sensation' going down the right-hand side of my body. I was alone and I knew instinctively I was having a stroke. I pulled to the side of the road to think of what to do. I was out in the country with few houses. Praying for God to guide me, I decided to continue home with my 'good arm', and today I KNOW it was a stupid decision.... Somehow I made it, but when I 'wobbled' into my driveway, my husband was standing in the yard and he said I was 'driving all over the road' as he watched me. All I could do was say, "call an ambulance....I'm having a stroke or heart attack". I remember little after that. They started me in an ambulance but called for a helicopter because they said "(you) were fading fast". I barely remember landing on the roof, rolled into ICU and whatever happened in the next 12 hours. But I was praying, and I remember praying, "God, you know what is best, but what will become of my husband if I go now?" That was the only prayer I remembered. The next day I woke up in ICU with my room buzzing with people, prodding, asking questions, and discovered the stroke had reversed itself, and what was 'dead' flesh was "reversed" and the right side was close to normal again. Everyone was amazed at what was happening on the monitors.....but I knew God had touched my body. A week later blood poisoning set in in my right foot and I've never experienced such pain in my life. It took weeks, but the clot in my toes finally were dissolved and I am now able to walk on the foot most of the time. I think God left this left foot as a 'reminder' of where I was and where He brought me from and to!!! PTL That is my testimony in a paragraph. But I am in my mid-70s and my husband is advancing fast in the Parkinson's lane and I trust God to bring me through this, but it is such a lonely road, and I am having such a hard time keeping my chin up.... as we say in the SouthLand! I know the answer, but I want to ask the question anyway....."is there anybody out there? that has walked this road before me?"
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Hi Grace,
I'm sorry to hear about your husband. My Aunt went through what you're going through. Hugs! Im guessing your not in church? If you are I would recommend asking for help from them. Or maybe you could join a local church and ask for help.

One thing you can do is call hospice and let them know what's going on. My f-I-l had congestive heart failure. The last couple months I got ahold of them and they were absolutely wonderful! A nurse came by 3 times per week. They will have someone come by and do light cleaning and will even shop for you. I can't remember how often they came, but it was often.

They also have a Chaplin come by. They will have medication come to your home to help the passing be less painful. Please call them and let them know what's going on. They will explain the whole process to you and let them know everything you need for help. Don't be shy.

And I'm sorry to hear about what you've been through! Praise the Lord for healing you when you had your stroke!

God bless you and your husband - will be praying for you!


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I can't say I have walked down a path identical to yours, but I will say I have been down many paths of struggle and desperation. I think as Christians we all face things that are totally out of our control. God knows what we are going through and has promised to be with us.

I found that in my deepest darkest moments that the more time I spent with Him, the less I got consumed with my situation. Something seemed to happen when I would get in His presence and become aware of who He is. It helped diminish the worries of my world. My circumstances didn't change right away, but I was changed, and was able to look at them from a different vantage point.

Prayer to me is the path I must go down to keep me mentally and emotionally going in the right direction. Just the other night I was reading in the book of Matthew how Jesus went off to pray. I stopped reading and pondered what that scenario must have involved. Why did Jesus have to pray? What did He pray about? He was a man just like us and needed the help of His Father. He was facing unbearable circumstances and knew He needed the presence of His Father to keep Him going.

I often think of the verse in the Bible that says each of us must pick up our cross daily. I used to think the "cross" was the hardship that every Christian faces, but my outlook has changed a little bit from that. I learned that it symbolizes the necessity of total commitment. And in Jesus's case, even unto death.

To follow Jesus, and to follow in His footsteps, is not something that humans can do in their own strength. Would I choose to go through pain and heartache as a means to measure my faith in Him? No I would not. I would hope there could be an easier way. I think Jesus felt that way too. He even asked the Father if there was any other way.

My dear sweet friend, the only way I know how to encourage you is to say this, "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scourning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." Hebrews 12:2-3

I promise to be praying for you.
 
I was a caregiver to my sick late wife for years so I have some idea of how hard it can be. Besides this, you are dealing with your own health issues plus probably trying to run a household at the same time. As hard as it may seem if you haven't already done so you may want to consider long-term skilled care in a reputable nursing home facility, if finances permit. I have said a prayer for God to address your needs as well as your husband's in this hard situation. Hopefully, you will find comfort, support and understanding from the other members of this site. There are a lot of wonderful Christian members here. I'm very happy to have you join our family. Welcome to CC.
 
Welcome to CC. Sorry I didn't even attempt to read your wall of text. :( Many here find it difficult to read posts like that without paragraphs..
 
GodsGraceAlone said:
Well, I hardly know what I am doing, but we are an older couple, and I have never gone onto a site like this before, not sure what or how much to say. Am I able to 'reach out' in honesty to other Christian older women with similar problems? I think I will try. My husband is an advanced Parkinson's patient....and it is scary. I am the only person to care for him, he has few friends and is from another country originally. I have three natural children, all living in other states, married with families and not professing Christians. They look on him as a STEP-parent and show little regard for what he is experiencing, and the pressure I am under. I don't want to complain, but its a lonely ride I am on here, even as a Christian. I KNOW there are thousands of Parkinson's patients, but I hardly know any caretakers and we live in a rural area. I pray a lot and it helps me through the loneliness and long nights when I cannot sleep or unwind. Last October on my birthday I was driving home, about 35-40 miles to go; when I felt a 'sensation' going down the right-hand side of my body. I was alone and I knew instinctively I was having a stroke. I pulled to the side of the road to think of what to do. I was out in the country with few houses. Praying for God to guide me, I decided to continue home with my 'good arm', and today I KNOW it was a stupid decision.... Somehow I made it, but when I 'wobbled' into my driveway, my husband was standing in the yard and he said I was 'driving all over the road' as he watched me. All I could do was say, "call an ambulance....I'm having a stroke or heart attack". I remember little after that. They started me in an ambulance but called for a helicopter because they said "(you) were fading fast". I barely remember landing on the roof, rolled into ICU and whatever happened in the next 12 hours. But I was praying, and I remember praying, "God, you know what is best, but what will become of my husband if I go now?" That was the only prayer I remembered. The next day I woke up in ICU with my room buzzing with people, prodding, asking questions, and discovered the stroke had reversed itself, and what was 'dead' flesh was "reversed" and the right side was close to normal again. Everyone was amazed at what was happening on the monitors.....but I knew God had touched my body. A week later blood poisoning set in in my right foot and I've never experienced such pain in my life. It took weeks, but the clot in my toes finally were dissolved and I am now able to walk on the foot most of the time. I think God left this left foot as a 'reminder' of where I was and where He brought me from and to!!! PTL That is my testimony in a paragraph. But I am in my mid-70s and my husband is advancing fast in the Parkinson's lane and I trust God to bring me through this, but it is such a lonely road, and I am having such a hard time keeping my chin up.... as we say in the SouthLand! I know the answer, but I want to ask the question anyway....."is there anybody out there? that has walked this road before me?"
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Welcome, gga=). While I would sometimes-- often! use abbreviations to hasten typing online, I don't mind reading such intro and testimony of God's goodness and grace. I hope u can come on once in a while and share more of His grace and love. See u!
 
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