Older or younger relationship what matters is a blending of understanding

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Daga

New member
Jul 1, 2018
6
5
3
#1
A lot of people worry about falling in live with a younger man or lady but in the real sense I think what we should very well look at is if the personality is full of charisma. I would rather fall in love and marry a woman 29 years older and be happily married thatch having a younger lady who will throw my life into misery and hell. A 29 years spent with an older better half is better and greater than a 70 year spent with a younger lady which will only be full of sadness and unhappiness. Which one is better? Let Heaven bring upon me an older lady if she is going to be the best thing in my world . Age is inconsequential , age is irrelevant , if you are older and God-fearing, that has nipped it in the bud for me. Thank you good people. God bless us. Am still searching.100 % single man.
 

Pheonix

Senior Member
Jan 17, 2007
578
7
18
#2
Once you hit 20 age really doesn't matter for a relationship. Of course most young people don't figure that out till they are about to hit the 30 wall themselves and so completely ignore what would probably be the best relationships they will ever have. Yes I count myself among that group. I cared about age too. Then I woke up one day and realized I was nearly 30. I don't care about age anymore other than I want to have kids if God ever grants me such a privilege. That is the only reason age will matter in any relationship. If a desire for kids isn't there then it doesn't matter at all.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#3
Not interested in charisma and it's far from an important trait. There are quite a few vastly more important traits.
Nor do I agree everyone simply needs to disregard age. Everyone has different wants and needs some of which may be affected by age.
Also there Are differences in maturity, experience, finances etc... within age. I set age restrictions for myself because I would not do well being with someone significantly older, or younger, than myself.

Making blanket statements on how everyone "should" be rarely is correct. Rather than blindly accepting anyone people would rather benefit from knowing themselves, their needs and their standards.
 
M

Miri

Guest
#4
Big age differences do matter.

What if your 30 and want to go to gym, movies, holiday, want to have children etc. They are 60 starting to get elderly, have arthritis, a few aches and pains, want to stay at home, have hosp appointments, can’t have children etc.

What if you reach 40 and they get to
70?

Some people are old for their age, others younger. But invariably age does catch up with you.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,799
8,103
113
#5
*Lynx shuffles past, waves his cane at everybody and shuffles off to get his morning pills.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,799
8,103
113
#6
I have to agree with the last two people. A big age difference can matter a lot. Decades of age difference will probably mean one dies decades before the other.

A friend and I were discussing this just a while ago. Death and the younger person being alone again aren't the only imbalances. Is the younger one expected to support the older one through all the medical expenses associated with old age?

"Ah but anybody could die at any time. Even if two people were the same age, one could die at 20 and leave the other alone. And anybody could have an accident at any time and be disabled for the rest of his life, leaving the spouse to bear the load." True, but if somebody much older marries somebody much younger, it changes a possibility into an almost certainty.
 

garet82

Senior Member
Jan 20, 2011
679
85
28
#7
Well find someone that will bring you happiness n possitive things in live.
 
T

toinena

Guest
#8
I think it matters. I have had fairly young men attracted to me. I felt like they wanted a mother. I would never have been able to be in both a mother, wife and lover role.

I have also been briefly chatting with older men. Some seek to have an authoritative father role, and that is quite creepy from my perspective. One that was retired because of health reasons, I found we had nothing in common.

I have found that 6 years plus or minus is what I am comfortable with.
 
S

Sweetmorningdew78

Guest
#9
Hmmm...i don't think some people worry about falling in love with someone younger than them or older than them... people worry about if it will going to last...I thought I was scared about falling in love with someone younger than me...but I realized i was not...i am more scared of rejection more scared of what if someday the other person will going to tell me I am sorry I realized you are not the one for me 😔 after you have spent a considerable amount of time with that person uggghhh that's hard 😔
 
T

toinena

Guest
#10
Hmmm...i don't think some people worry about falling in love with someone younger than them or older than them... people worry about if it will going to last...I thought I was scared about falling in love with someone younger than me...but I realized i was not...i am more scared of rejection more scared of what if someday the other person will going to tell me I am sorry I realized you are not the one for me 😔 after you have spent a considerable amount of time with that person uggghhh that's hard 😔
Sweetmorningdew. Love is a risky business. But try to enjoy it as you move on together. Nobody knows what will happen.
 

Angela53510

Senior Member
Jan 24, 2011
11,780
2,940
113
#14
The fact is, usually men die before women. The actuarian statistics bear this out.

I had 8 couples of aunts and uncles, plus my parents. So 9 couples. Not one aunt has died on one side, the youngest is 81, the oldest 96. The other side the oldest aunt died in her mid 90’s, and one younger, though many years after her husband died. Only one uncle left, he is only 80, but has had 2 bad strokes My mom is 88, having outlived my Dad by 7 years so far.

So, 8/9 men died first. All were about the same age as their wives, only a year or two at max, different.

Since men men do die earlier, women should be meeting and marrying men that are a bit older, so they don’t have to be widows for 20-30 years or longer.

Interestingly, none of the women in my family remarried! Mostly that was age, but also they had happy marriages, and did not want to remarry.