Paperback writer

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I'm still gleaning information, mostly through following @CarriePie and @Charlesiii's posts in another thread.

This is something I really love about the forum!

There's plenty of room, so those who want to keep talking about something can, and those who don't want to hear about it anymore have thousands of other threads to choose from, and/or, can always start their own! 😎
I was thinking about this the other day. I mean, not that I was tired of hearing about Whangdoodles - I mean, who can be, that cares about the future of humanity? - but that there's a lot of misinformation out there being spread about them. For example, just because someone is difficult or unpleasant doesn't make that someone a Whangdoodle in diguise. I mean, he (or she - I guess Whangdoodles can disguise themselves as shes also, although more difficult for obvious reasons) could be, especially if it's a very good disguise, and some Whangdoodles have very good disguises, but these can usually be linked to a recent robbery at a local disguise shop, because Whangdoodles are so lazy that they must just steal, and often can't make anything themselves - especially disguises.

But kids these days - you will hear them say "oh, he's a Whangdoodle", or even "she's a Whangdoodle", when all the other one did is gave the first one a funny look, or perhaps borrowed some lunch money without asking in order to buy an extra comic at the local deli next to the school.

If we created some educational material about the nefarious nature of Whangdoodles, and who is truly a Whangdoodle, and who is not actually very likely to be a Whangdoodle, and some scientific tests to conduct to verify the accuracy of claims of Whangdoodliness, we could insist this book (or series of books) be added to the school curriculum, and then every Dominique and Harry could have a much more informed opinion before making accusations of "Whangdoodle" willy-nilly. If we did the series well enough, it might even become a subject in its own right.
 
Well Seoul you now have your co-author...

I wish Roald Dahl were here to explain himself but I'm more partial to the BFG

The Big Friendly Giraffes who are going to save humanity!

See, Quentin Blake didn't want to draw any w------------s because he said it was better to use our imaginations. So I don't know if they truly exist. They could be just words on a page. And all the focus of w------------s are taking away from the vermicious knids and hornswagglers, who have not been identified either.

As for bullies and obnoxious children, we have enough of The Twits, Mrs Trunchbulls, Verucca Salts, Violet Beauregard,s Mike Teevees and Augustus Gloops of this world...

The Oompa Loompas even had an entire album of educational songs about them warning children about such terrible behaviour!
 
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ARTIST: Leslie Bricusse and Anthony Newley
TITLE: The Oompa Loompa Songs
Lyrics and Chords


[Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory]

Oompa Loompa doompety doo
I've got a perfect puzzle for you
Oompa Loompa doompety dee
If you are wise you'll listen to me

/ Am - - G / - Am F E7 / 1st / - Am E7 Am /

What do you get when you guzzle down sweets
Eating as much as an elephant eats
What are you at, getting terribly fat
What do you think will come of that
I don't like the look of it

/ F - - C / G - C - / F - C - / B7 - - A7 B7 - / B7 - /

Oompa Loompa doompety da
If you're not greedy, you will go far
You will live in happiness too
Like the Oompa Loompa doompety do
Doompety do

/ Am - - G / - Am F E7 / 1st / Am - - AmE7 Am /

Oompa Loompa doompety doo
I've got another puzzle for you
Oompa Loompa doompedah dee
If you are wise you'll listen to me

Gum chewing's fine when it's once in a while
It stops you from smoking and brightens your smile
But it's repulsive, revolting and wrong
Chewing and chewing all day long
The way that a cow does

Oompa Loompa doompety da
Given good manners you will go far
You will live in happiness too
Like the Oompa Loompa doompety do

Oompa Loompa doompety doo
I've got another puzzle for you
Oompa Loompa doompety dee
If you are wise you'll listen to me

Who do you blame when your kid is a brat
Pampered and spoiled like a siamese cat
Blaming the kids is a lie and a shame
You know exactly who's to blame
The mother and the father

Oompa Loompa doompety da
If you're not spoiled then you will go far
You will live in happiness too
Like the Oompa Loompa doompety do

Oompa Loompa doompety doo
I've got another puzzle for you
Oompa Loompa doompedah dee
If you are wise you'll listen to me

What do you get from a glut of TV
A pain in the neck and an IQ of three
Why don't you try simply reading a book
Or could you just not bear to look
You'll get no
You'll get no
You'll get no
You'll get no
You'll get no commercials

Oompa Loompa doompety da
If you like reading you will go far
You will live in happiness too
Like the - Oompa -
Oompa Loompa doompety do
 
I've known children of burglars and their parents are in jail.
While some are honest thieves, many are just poor. The COL is high and they are just doing it to survive.
Or they could be on drugs, as the ones that smashed a window to get the change out of the autoloader in the library one time. It didn't have any!

Even if they worked 40 + hours a week, sometimes thats not enough to put a roof over a families heads and food on the table. This is reality.

So why was Charlie Bucket so poor? In the book, Charlie's dad was alive and worked hard at the toothpaste factory. That wasn't enough to buy any luxuries like chocolate. Thats the reason why it was a huge deal for him to win the Golden Ticket.

Imagine having a lifetime supply of Chocolate. You'd be as rich as Croesus.
 
I know, it never got past the publishing stage. It's just a manuscript on a hard drive at this point.
IT was about 360 pages It never got published, I never had the money to publish.
Is there an agent for Penguin books in Canada? Send it to them, they're one of the biggest publishers on the planet and their paperbacks are cheaper than anyone else's.
 
COL (cost of living)
If anyone has seen the tv show Outrageous Fortune, the inspiration for that was when the producer realised that an average/median income for New Zealand women in 2003 was just $14,000 a year. And this was for 40 hours a week honest job. That is why their family turned to crime.

Outrageous Fortune was a NZ tv show set in West Auckland (where I live) and I definitely know people like Cheryl West etc. In Australia people call 'Westies' as known here, 'bogans'. Of course not all Westies are like that, but they are not dissimilar to Chavs in the UK or rednecks/hillbillies in the US.
 
Far better to be a (pretend) nurse or doctor on Shortland Street. It might pay better.
 
@seoulsearch have you written to Julie Andrews to find out more about the W----------s? She's still alive to tell the tale.
Maybe she met some nice ones.
I can't quite believe they are all bad, I kind of thought they might be like the mowgais turned feral gremlins. Or the OG smeagol turned Gollum.

Otherwise we can always ask Peter Jackson if he's heard of them. After all, he deals with Wetas, King Kong and other beasties.
 
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I nearly forget...if you can't contact Julie Andrews try Anne Hathaway. After all she played the Grand High Witch in the second movie version of Roald Dahl's The Witches.

Also, she's close to Julie Andrews, playing the Princess of Genovia after all.
 
@annehathaway on insta. I don't have insta but maybe you can try.
@julieandrews
 
It was snozzwangers, not vermicious knids, according to Charlie

Vermicious Knids were from the BFG. He just made up words like whizzpopper and gobblefunk and snozzcumber

Snozz seemed like a popular word with Dahl.

Here's a few more

The Gobblefunk glossary​

  • Scrumdiddlyumptious — scrumptious, utterly delicious
  • Whizzpopper — a happy little fart
  • Snozzcumber — the gruesome vegetable only found in Giant Country
  • Human bean — a human being
  • Phizzwizard — a happy dream (a golden phizzwizard is a truly wonderful one)
  • Trogglehumper — a horrible nightmare
  • Chiddler — a child
  • Delumptious — delicious
  • Telly-telly bunkum box — a television
  • Jiggyraffe — a giraffe
  • Hippodumpling — a hippopotamus
  • Rummytot — nonsense
  • Whiffling — going off somewhere
  • Swizzfiggling — deceiving or tricking someone
  • Chatbag — a chatterbox
  • Earbursting — wonderfully, head-splittingly loud
  • Scuddling — scurrying or hurrying along
  • Majester — majesty (as in addressing the Queen)
  • Rumpledumpus — a rumpus, a great commotion
  • Whopse — little, slight or trifling
I quite like jiggyraffe, chatbag, and majester
 
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COL (cost of living)
If anyone has seen the tv show Outrageous Fortune, the inspiration for that was when the producer realised that an average/median income for New Zealand women in 2003 was just $14,000 a year. And this was for 40 hours a week honest job. That is why their family turned to crime.

Outrageous Fortune was a NZ tv show set in West Auckland (where I live) and I definitely know people like Cheryl West etc. In Australia people call 'Westies' as known here, 'bogans'. Of course not all Westies are like that, but they are not dissimilar to Chavs in the UK or rednecks/hillbillies in the US.
wow
 
Christian Chatbags! I like it.

Instead of chatterboxes.
Did you know there is such a thing as 'The chattering classes'? It's like the 'respectiable' 'middle class' but much more sanctimonius.

AI describes them as....

chattering classes
The "chattering classes" is a disapproving term for well-educated, middle-class people who love to talk and write about politics, culture, and social issues. People use this phrase to describe an insulated group whose opinions are seen as out of touch with everyday reality. [1, 2, 3]

Who They Are
    • Educated professionals living in big cities.
    • People who work in media, journalism, universities, and the arts.
    • Individuals who share similar social and political views. [1, 2]

Main Traits of the Group
    • Quick to share strong opinions on current events.
    • Talk a lot about fixing society, but take little direct action.
    • Viewed by critics as out of touch with ordinary people
 
I can think of a lot of people who bang on about politics that I'd avoid if I knew thats all they would talk about. Also these kinds of people can be soooo racist.

I think another name for them would be 'the bully pulpit' meaning they get on a platform, even a pulpit in church, or a soap box, and air their views and expect everyone to share their opinion/views on things.
 
Christian Chatbags! I like it.

Instead of chatterboxes.
Did you know there is such a thing as 'The chattering classes'? It's like the 'respectiable' 'middle class' but much more sanctimonius.

AI describes them as....

chattering classes
The "chattering classes" is a disapproving term for well-educated, middle-class people who love to talk and write about politics, culture, and social issues. People use this phrase to describe an insulated group whose opinions are seen as out of touch with everyday reality. [1, 2, 3]

Who They Are
    • Educated professionals living in big cities.
    • People who work in media, journalism, universities, and the arts.
    • Individuals who share similar social and political views. [1, 2]

Main Traits of the Group
    • Quick to share strong opinions on current events.
    • Talk a lot about fixing society, but take little direct action.
    • Viewed by critics as out of touch with ordinary people
wow