Please...help.

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I don't understand grace anymore. I don't even know how to receive that gift anymore. I'm falling hard. Going back to my addictions, starting new ones. I'm supposed to be a leader, now I just feel like a poser. Half of me wants to do something great with my life, the other half just wants to be an average person. Can't tell anyone close to me, they'll be disappointed in me and it will ruin everything. I need help...why can't I get the courage to face everything? God...I need you.
 
Will be praying for you. Just remember that the most important person to bring these doubts to is God. Don't be afraid to show him your ugliest thoughts, feelings, and desires.
 
Hugs, continueing to pray for you in Jesus for all streangth and help needed.
Jesus didnt come because we are perfect, but to save us by being the perfect for us. :)
Trust in Him, He is faithful and will bring you through this struggle.:)
Remember, Jesus said, in the world you have tribulation, but take courage, I have overcome the world.
Just keep holding on to Jesus. :) Grace is what covers us when we fall, Jesus is the hand that picks us up. :)

God bless
pickles