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I just recently got out of a 5 month long relationship, which was all emotionally/verbally/physically abusive. A great part of me feels relief for being on my own, whereas a bigger part of me wants this person back!
First, I feel the need to describe this person before anyone forms a judgement. When he was 6 years old, his mother up and walked out on him and his father, along with 3 other siblings & left them to fend for themselves. This left him with abandonment issues. He longed for a family of his own and had a son at a young age of 19. The mother of that son too walked out on him and lied to the courtrooms to see to it that he was not able to see his child. It has been a couple years since he has seen his son, who is to turn 5 this summer.
My heart breaks for the things he has gone through and I am able to see that it is because of these horrible things that have happened.. that he has the issues he does to this day. He was so afraid of losing me (and my son as well), and was so insecure, that he smothered me basically and tried to seclude me from family and friends. In retrospect, alls that did was push me away. I have left on a couple other occasions and he has broken down begging for me back every time. As bad as things got, although it was to his fault, he never gave up on our love.
He is the Christian out of the both of us.. I am struggling to find god-- but open to it.. and I thought maybe I could get help from anyone out there who is a believer. ANY help would mean the world to me. I don't know if I am a young naive woman, or if I can truly change this mans world. In my heart of hearts, I just want to take his pain away and help him get past what has had such a negative influence in his life. I want to make him happy like I feel that he deserves, but can you truly change a person? It's hard to see the good sometimes through the yelling and pushing--- but I know that he's not a bad person! My family and friends don't like him at all, but they don't know the love that we have for one another. We just click. Please Please.. ANYONE out there, give me some sort of advice or lead me in the right direction. I don't know what to do at this point. Take him back, or continue on my own.
First, I feel the need to describe this person before anyone forms a judgement. When he was 6 years old, his mother up and walked out on him and his father, along with 3 other siblings & left them to fend for themselves. This left him with abandonment issues. He longed for a family of his own and had a son at a young age of 19. The mother of that son too walked out on him and lied to the courtrooms to see to it that he was not able to see his child. It has been a couple years since he has seen his son, who is to turn 5 this summer.
My heart breaks for the things he has gone through and I am able to see that it is because of these horrible things that have happened.. that he has the issues he does to this day. He was so afraid of losing me (and my son as well), and was so insecure, that he smothered me basically and tried to seclude me from family and friends. In retrospect, alls that did was push me away. I have left on a couple other occasions and he has broken down begging for me back every time. As bad as things got, although it was to his fault, he never gave up on our love.
He is the Christian out of the both of us.. I am struggling to find god-- but open to it.. and I thought maybe I could get help from anyone out there who is a believer. ANY help would mean the world to me. I don't know if I am a young naive woman, or if I can truly change this mans world. In my heart of hearts, I just want to take his pain away and help him get past what has had such a negative influence in his life. I want to make him happy like I feel that he deserves, but can you truly change a person? It's hard to see the good sometimes through the yelling and pushing--- but I know that he's not a bad person! My family and friends don't like him at all, but they don't know the love that we have for one another. We just click. Please Please.. ANYONE out there, give me some sort of advice or lead me in the right direction. I don't know what to do at this point. Take him back, or continue on my own.
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