Avidan your message is not rejected.. I understand what your trying to teach.. but what you ask.. will and cannot be done not by many.. Im trying man.. Im trying.. but honestly I cant do it anymore.. so thats why I gave up already.. if its that hard to reach God.. then I give up man.
If Im called evil and if I am called that who didnt really want to be with God then I shall not hide from that name.. because I honestly cannot do it.. hey I can do all that.. honestly I can close myself off in a room.. with just a bible and food and I promise you by the end of the second day I will just end up crazy man.. crazy cuz I cannot do or go forward with this... but I take your word and I thank you but now take this word from this sinner....
Honestly man thank you.. but honestly I sometimes just want you feel how I feel and what I have my heart, and mind.. I would let anybody have this.. just so you can understand.. you can say all you want but you dont feel what I feel. See and understand what I feel, you have some knowledge of it..I do honestly know God can do it all.. still man, you need to be in my shoes. I know others have suffered greater things than me.. I never have said other wise.. but I suffer this pain.. I am the one who is suffering.. the one feeling it... so my suffering is greater in my person.. I cannot say my suffering is greater then yours.. because to you, your suffering is greater to you, in your person.. so I just need you just keep that in mind...
I tried it your way, I did what you told me to do.. it didnt help. Its does not take effect in my person.. but still I thank you.. but yea man I gave up... its not today but some day near I will.. cuz its a decision I have come to do.. I know that you have to say what you have to say.. but also listen to what I say.. I did what you told me.. it didnt take any effect none.. none.. you know that it didnt you were there. You read what I wrote to you.. you are witness that I told you that nothing happen and didnt gave me any comfort or push to actually keep on going with this battle.. Im evil, and a coward and all the above.. you know that..
Shriley thank you.. your prayers like Avidans are appreciated.. they are.. but honestly Jesus is not enough for me.. so If im bound to hell then so be it.. I accept it.. cuz how he wants me to do things.. are not possible in my person. If you and all the Christians find the strenght to cling on God then I applaud you because you guys are better people then me.. but I will not pretend or act something I cannot be.. but still I thank you.. and may God bless you all...
Did you drop everything for the Lord? Did you give up all of your worldly friends and get rid of anything that comes before Him? I'm not saying this is easy. Following Jesus is the hardest road anyone can travel during this lifetime.
I am praying for you to have an understanding and revelation of what it means to claim Christ's life instead of your own. And to grab on to Him. To take His life and make it yours, instead of the life portrayed in your message above. I pray for all of the confusion and dismay to be routed and for faith to overtake unbelief. I pray for your eyes to be opened in Jesus Name, to see and understand.
I am not a better person than you are at all. I only have left my own life (which was just like yours which you've explained above), including my friends, loved ones, desires, ambitions, and possessions, clinging on to Jesus so I don't die. And in doing this I, and millions upon millions of other believers, have found the Lord Jesus Christ to be everything He claims to be.
Don't give up. Keep your eyes on Christ, the best way that you understand how to.
Seek, pray, fast, and read your Bible. Forsake the world. Sometimes going 'crazy'
for a season is part of the journey. This part of it is from being double minded. Being tossed by the waves and winds, learning to keep our eyes on Him (not the storm) and building a trusting relationship with the Lord. As it is written: Every man must work out his own salvation with fear and trembling. This isn't an easy thing.
Read the messages you have written as well. Try to come up with some words that describe the attitude in them.
Hopelessness?
Discouragement?
Fear?
Complaining?
Don't tell us that Christ isn't enough. He is bigger than all of these things.
Stop complaining, be thankful, and keep speaking life.
Stop watching tv, stop doing anything else that fills your heart and mind with nonsense.
Fill your heart with Jesus' Words and don't stop.
It is hard. It's the hardest thing ever.
But, if you lose your life for Jesus, you will find new life in Him.
Please forgive me if you don't think that I am being sensitive or compassionate. I'm not a mother. There are mothers on here that will comfort you with their words. I am a father and I am a soldier. You are either going to fight or you are going to die. Now get up, Son, and fight.
Thanksgiving
Praise
Respect to the Lord, but, also openness to Him
Honor Him by standing on Christ and not yourself
Sacrifice
Prayer
Alone time with the Lord - as much as you can
Read the Bible (stand on Christ as your righteousness always)
Again - more time with Him than with anything else
Be generous and love others as you would like to be loved.
Practice all of this for the rest of your life. Get even more serious with Him and He will get serious with you. Cry before him, wail, and moan. Express your pain to Him.
Don't see any of us as 'good.' We are all like you, but, we don't hold onto that life any more. We hold on to Jesus' life. And now His life is our life. The old life is dead, and the new life is Christ.
Heavenly Father,
I stand with Jesus with His prayers for this young man. Send help and revelation. I pray that his sins are forgiven and the sins of his generations are forgiven in Jesus Name. Stand between him and that which is not good for him. Fight for him and let him hear You call him SON. In Jesus Name, Amen.