preconceived notions

[JaimeMartinez26]

starting to think maybe i look at females like bad people

even when they dont give me reason to


its almost like

i see a guy and only let what he shows me dictate how i think about him


but with women i look at them with high probability to be bad people and maybe even look for reasons to not trust them


i think at first it helped me stay single and stay away from lust


but i wouldnt want it to keep me from helping someone when i had an opportunity to..

anyone else look at the opposite gender a little more harshly than your gender?


just now noticing this gonna pray on it


but maybe some of you other singles have this same issue

being burned or having loved ones who lost everything to an abusive partner

 

[Lynx]

Yeah we have a few guys on this very forum who view the opposite gender that way. In fact I daresay they are more extreme in their views than you, for they see it as a strength instead of a problem.

As you said, it is usually the guys who have been burned in a messy divorce where the woman took all she could get, or they know a guy who has gone through such. It doesn't just sour them, it seems to turn them downright bitter against all women.

 

[JaimeMartinez26]

Yeah we have a few guys on this very forum who view the opposite gender that way. In fact I daresay they are more extreme in their views than you, for they see it as a strength instead of a problem.

As you said, it is usually the guys who have been burned in a messy divorce where the woman took all she could get, or they know a guy who has gone through such. It doesn't just sour them, it seems to turn them downright bitter against all women.

i dont think it applies with all females... like

kids or old women i kinda give a pass

as well as women who read thier bible

but women who are typical modern worldly women

i stay further away from and tend to believe less


its really kinda a new thing
im just noticing this today

i posted in another thread and kinda just assumed someone was lying

then through my posting and reading realized how unfair that was

then also noticed its not the first time ive acted like that

 

[Tinuviel]

I personally have never had a problem judging people by gender. But I think everyone has their preconceived notions; it's the rare soul that is completely open minded in a good way. For me, I tend to make decisions about people based on the people they hang out with, the clothes they wear, the way they talk. Not necessarily bad things to observe when you're trying to get to know someone, but it would be terrible to treat them differently because of that.

 

[maxwel]

anyone else look at the opposite gender a little more harshly than your gender?

Men and women are different.

We have different needs, different expectations, different ways to communicate, different ways to resolve conflict, different ways to view the world around us, and just different ways of thinking in general.
It's inevitable to have problems in navigating the opposite sex.

So, in navigating these differences, which are both wonderful and frightening, we have problems.
It's going to happen.
- You may remember problems with them from the past, which may still bother you.
- You may be having problems with the opposite sex today, right in the present.
- You will certainly have problems with the opposite sex in the future.
It's wholly unavoidable.

1. We're very different
2. Differences cause problems
3. Our current age and culture makes this even worse, and heightens it.
(Our culture is teaching girls to be spoiled and entitled, it's teaching men to spineless and bad leaders, and it's teaching both sexes to be self centered and have no loyalty.)


* So, just recognize everything for what it is, the good and the bad, and deal with it.

* That's exactly why we need the bible, and prayer, and wise counsel... because life is full of problems... and yet we have to just deal with it.


You'll be fine.

: )

 

[Ugly]

Not a real problem for me. In fact i, often times, am the one opposed to many of these questions that post things as a gender issue.
Recently i had to put someone in their place for bashing women.
I've been treated, by woman, bad enough to have bitterness and speak and look down on them, but i don't. Because i know for every woman treating me bad there's a guy treating a good woman badly. Probably more than that, actually. Respect, for me, is on an individual basis. I try to avoid blanket thinking about groups. Perhaps i don't succeed in all areas, but i make the effort.

 

[Yeraza_Bats]

Unfortunately we currently live in a society that teaches us to look down on the other gender, and encourages us to divide ourselves up in such a way. I mean like, look at the stuff you see on youtube from modern day "feminists". And then look at the groups that have come in response to these people, groups like MGTOW and all that. All of them putting out videos that completely put down the other gender, and encourage their audiences to do the same. Its all really sad.

Ive always felt incredibly annoyed by everyone who ever says "all men are ____" or "all women are _____", especially to their children. This is what you get when you teach these kinda things to other people.

I think at one point all of us have felt that way, to some extent. Most of us of course realize thats a stupid way to think, and acknowledge that there are good and bad people in every single group of people. But there are some people who refuse to let go of their grudge and continue to look down on an entire group due to the actions of a few.

I often wish that people would stop making blanket generalizations about a group of people due to their gender. While men and women are different, not all men are the same as all other men, and not all women are the same as all other women. Everyone is an individual with their own thoughts, feelings and experiences that have shaped who they are. When you make blanket generalizations like "all men just want physical relations" and "all women would leave their guy for a guy who can give them more", you risk anyone of the gender that you are speaking of turning bitter towards you and the group you represent.

 

[88]

starting to think maybe i look at females like bad people

even when they dont give me reason to


its almost like

i see a guy and only let what he shows me dictate how i think about him


but with women i look at them with high probability to be bad people and maybe even look for reasons to not trust them


i think at first it helped me stay single and stay away from lust


but i wouldnt want it to keep me from helping someone when i had an opportunity to..

anyone else look at the opposite gender a little more harshly than your gender?


just now noticing this gonna pray on it


but maybe some of you other singles have this same issue

being burned or having loved ones who lost everything to an abusive partner

*** know people by the Spirit***trust God to keep you from evil people...

 

[Yahweh_is_gracious]

I'm one of the guys who looks at women harshly. Folks here that notice it will say I do it for one reason or another, but they are merely speculating and they are wrong.

On the whole, I don't like people. There are people I like, but they are few. Preconceived notions are something I have in abundance. Most of them are in place based on prior experiences, but a few of them are totally irrational and based on nothing.

 

[rachelsedge]

I have some pretty bad preconceived notions about men, and I am working on it and growing in it. It's hard work sometimes, especially when you run across more who confirm your thoughts versus those who don't. But, blanket statements are easier to make and believe because it doesn't challenge your way of thinking or require looking at people as individuals, which takes more effort and open-mindedness.

It's easy to believe everyone is the same, but unless you've (general you) met every single person on the planet (newsflash: only God has this capability) then any blanket statement is false.

One rose among hundreds of thorn bushes does not mean that roses do not exist.