Pursuing a Relationship

[Ritter]

I think the most beautiful relationships form when two people passionately pursue each other.

I'm in a very happy relationship now and looking back I can't decide who started going after who and quite frankly I don't care.

 

[ServantStrike]

Yeah. I knew what they were referring to, so I was being overly obvious about the opinion thing in my response to their response...sadly, I'm a writer and people who aren't writers or aren't more than casual readers, tend to miss my point all the time. All. The. Time.

I was simply objecting to the characterization that men want to conquer or pursue, and that women want to be pursued. Can't speak to others' thoughts.

This may come off a little more cranky than I mean it to, so if it does I'm apologizing now before I forget later. As someone else just mentioned, a girl needs to stop with the subtly and should make her interests clear. Flirting is not nearly the hint a guy needs. Most women I meet have a somewhat flirty disposition, and lay it on even thicker if they know they can manipulate a guy with it, even though they have no intention of dating. I've even seen numerous married women flirting with guys just to manipulate them. So, when I notice a woman flirting with me, that tells me absolutely nothing about her interest in me. And before the girls get on the defensive saying that Christian women don't, or shouldn't. I can assure you they are just as guilty.

Yeah. I've had women flirt with me right after saying they have a boyfriend. The only conclusion I could reach from that is they were unhappy with their current boyfriend and wanted me to ask them out so they could justify dumping their current boyfriend. But if that's so, first off, I'm not that way, and secondly, she'd probably do the same thing to me in several months time.

And I really have trouble respecting a woman who's dating/engaged/married and flirts with another man. If I were dating said woman, I'd have trouble trusting her too. It's just as damaging as the man who ogles every woman he sees. It sends the message "you're not good enough for me" to your date.

Men ogle, women flirt, and both are damaging and hurtful.

 

[mystdancer50]

I personally hate flirting. Gag.

Something that becomes apparent on here is that relationships are hard and the hardest part seems to be starting one. Hopefully, all these posts and discussions are helping someone somewhere.

 

[colalella2891]

I personally hate flirting. Gag.

Something that becomes apparent on here is that relationships are hard and the hardest part seems to be starting one. Hopefully, all these posts and discussions are helping someone somewhere.

Well it's not helping me... But you can't go by me because i'm so bad at this stuff in general.

 

[kenthomas27]

I personally hate flirting. Gag. D

Well it's clear you just need some professional guidance and I learned from the best - Pepe Le Pew, Elmer Fudd, really the entire loony tune crew. Btw, did you ever think Buggs Bunny was kinda sexy when he dressed up like a girl? Nevermind - so if you need any help I'm here for you. Here's an example of my work (actually saving this for Jullianna)

Come out come out where evah you are wittle wabbit. Nofing to feah.

It's startling how well this works...

 

[mystdancer50]

Well it's clear you just need some professional guidance and I learned from the best - Pepe Le Pew, Elmer Fudd, really the entire loony tune crew. Btw, did you ever think Buggs Bunny was kinda sexy when he dressed up like a girl? Nevermind - so if you need any help I'm here for you. Here's an example of my work (actually saving this for Jullianna)

Come out come out where evah you are wittle wabbit. Nofing to feah.

It's startling how well this works...

Nice...

 

[Tintin]

I think the guy should initiate but the woman should make it fairly obvious that she's interested, so the guy is less often rejected.

 

[kayem77]

Personally, I prefer men to take the initiative in pursuing a relationship. That doesn't mean that I'm gonna sit back and do nothing, believe me...if anything, maybe I show too much interest when I like someone. If I like a guy and he is 'pursuing' me, I will reciprocate. If he starts calling me and I notice he really has an interest in me, I'll call him to say hi sometimes. If he texts me, I will text him back. If he approaches me everytime he sees me, I will start approaching him too when I see him. The point is that I will try to encourage his interest somehow. But I won't be the first one to initiate the pursuing.

Maybe some men will call me old fashion, but I believe a guy should be brave enough to take the initiative to pursue a lady. Otherwise, personally I will think that he is not that into me. Similar to what Ritter mentioned, at the end I think ideally both should end up pursuing one another, but I think men taking the initiative makes it easier to set the ground.

 

[JimJimmers]

I think I should clarify my earlier comment, in light of some very well-written posts I have read.

I was thinking more of initiation when I said that I thought women could pursue a man. I think she can plant the seed in his brain, she can let him know she likes him. If he likes her back and they are supposed to be together, he can AND SHOULD, in my opinion, pursue her. She deserves no less. It seems wrong for him to sit back and just make her do all the work.

 

[Pipp]

I agree 100% about becoming friends first.... that is so important !

 

[kayem77]

I think I should clarify my earlier comment, in light of some very well-written posts I have read.

I was thinking more of initiation when I said that I thought women could pursue a man. I think she can plant the seed in his brain, she can let him know she likes him. If he likes her back and they are supposed to be together, he can AND SHOULD, in my opinion, pursue her. She deserves no less. It seems wrong for him to sit back and just make her do all the work.

I think that goes for both men and women. If some women weren't so much into playing mind games, playing hard to get and whatnot, things would be easier. I think a lady should encourage a guy (if she likes him of course! ), so that he doesn't have to do all the work.

 

[Shouryu]

I had to bold it since some of you seemed to think that I was speaking for you and 'letting you know' what you thought. Nope. Just my opinion, as I stated in my original post. Yeah. Sorry...frustrates me how some folks can't state their opinions without being mocked or replied to with snarky comments. So, you know, just for clarification sake, this is my opinion...not yours...not your thoughts, but rather my thoughts, which, last time I checked, I was entitled to.*

Ara ara ara...Snark is what I specialize in, and I am quick to admit that sometimes it gets away from me. As some of the skypers (Aimee, Cris, Cat, Ugly, Tore) will tell you, sarcasm is my second language, and it's very common for what I write to come across as far more...severe...than I intend. I apologize.

You're certainly entitled to your opinion, yes. But also, understand that your very first sentence doesn't present itself like a statement of opinion, more like a statement of fact. "Men want to hunt..." without the "In my opinion" or "I think/I feel like" does come across as if one is making a blanket stereotype, which is very frustrating when you're a part of the group being stereotyped, which is why I responded as...hyperbolically (is that a word?) as I did. I know you honestly probably shouldn't need to attach the "IMO/I think/I feel" disclaimer, but I am admittedly thick. And as evidenced by some of the responses some of the other guys gave, I think we're all a little less intelligent than you give us credit for. (But we'll take it as a compliment!)

Again, sorry for reacting so severely. ^_^

 

[MissCris]

Shouryu- your misunderstanding here only serves to prove the point that men often need a hint (or whack upside the head... ) from a woman that said woman is interested. Good (unintentional) job of proving that women can be too subtle or wordy or whatever else for men to pick up on it (and you know I mean this in the nicest way possible, because...because....uh...I really have no idea, I just woke up from a sound sleep and am so completely lost suddenly).

 

[Tintin]

I don't think men are stupid, I just think we speak a different language to women.

 

[fourleaf]

guys should be the one to pursue! girls have enough problems in life, pursuing shouldn't be our responsibilities.

 

[T_Laurich]

guys should be the one to pursue! girls have enough problems in life, pursuing shouldn't be our responsibilities.

This gave me a good laugh, not in a cynical way but a ironic way...

Thank you

 

[JessicaMae]

This may come off a little more cranky than I mean it to, so if it does I'm apologizing now before I forget later. As someone else just mentioned, a girl needs to stop with the subtly and should make her interests clear. Flirting is not nearly the hint a guy needs. Most women I meet have a somewhat flirty disposition, and lay it on even thicker if they know they can manipulate a guy with it, even though they have no intention of dating. I've even seen numerous married women flirting with guys just to manipulate them. So, when I notice a woman flirting with me, that tells me absolutely nothing about her interest in me. And before the girls get on the defensive saying that Christian women don't, or shouldn't. I can assure you they are just as guilty.

I wasn't talking about the batting eye lashes, smiling, or overly loud laugh flirting.. More of hinting at the guy to ask them out or something along those lines kind of flirting. I don't think women should make he first "official" move.

 

[Stuey]

Because broads like flowers and pretty stuff

Oh really?

Dare you to put this in your signature!

 

[MissCris]

I don't think men are stupid, I just think we speak a different language to women.

That's what I meant, with my not-quite-awake post from last night.

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

Men find it to "intrusive" when i pursue them....... on foot or in my car.

I don't get it... i thought that's what they wanted!!!